Max_V

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTJxvKD4uog

The only way I have found to pull people out of places like that (including myself), is genuinely trying to find something that they're passionate about so that their life has a purpose, not even per se in the LP sense. You said he really enjoys guitar right? Perhaps exploring that deeper with him will give him the boost to start fixing other things.

My condolences, awful this has happened.

If it doesn't hinder the rest of your day in terms of productivity I don't see it as a problem. Don't have to min-max everything. But if you do wanna change it, one hack that could work is placing your alarm on the other side of the room so when you wake up you have to physically leave bed in order to turn it off. The only fight then is to put on some clothes instead of going back to bed.

@Shin In my opinion what happened in season 8 should have been layed out with better detail and pace over 2 or more seasons. So many complex things just got forgotten or got one simple unbecoming resolution, those writers really did the whole thing dirty.

@Shin How they tied up the white walkers was one of the most disappointing things for me. All this buildup just for one character to get a knife in the back, none of the complexity explored. So sad.

As someone that has social anxiety and is scared to talk to women, I’d be very interested to hear about your perspective. What is it like to have guys be afraid of you?

I think trying to have the the mindset of reading as much books as possible without sacrificing quality in reading experience and comprehension is a good way to go about it. Don't make it a soulless rat-race. Try to enjoy the process as opposed to reading for the sake of having read something.

The comfort that melancholy brings me.

I have been feeling this abject contempt for myself lately. The way that I look, my submissive and anxious behaviour, the way I can't express myself well and have trouble with social skills. Lately I've been feeling this ever-intensifying, complete opposite of self-love and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel like this is 10+ years of stored pain growing up and not feeling at place in the world coming to the surface. Everyone's opinions once grounded me, now realising they are not absolute, how I should feel about myself is without root. It seems really simple concerning appearance. Just accept what you have is always the go to advice. But for some reason I have always had this obsession with beauty and elegance and can't let it go. Seeing my face in the mirror stirs disgust. It feels so absurd not to match physically the conception I have of how I feel my soul looks like. Making friends and introducing myself to potential romatic partners feels impossible. If I hate myself this deeply, why would someone else love me? The loneliness and seperation I feel is so intense. Just here to have some conversation about this. Letting it out makes me feel less alone

That could be it yeah. But I do feel like my social inadequacy caused by my social anxiety and feeling so different together with my imperfect appearance make for me feeling worthless. But you're right, I don't know how I would feel if I were to have a girlfriend and friends around me who validate me as a person, perhaps then my doubts about my appearance would vanish. But then again, I would be held hostage by their love. If they leave I feel ugly and worthless again. Perhaps there are ways for me to make new connections. But why I can't practice socializing very well is because of this strong irrational (my reason knows it to be fallacious) feeling gripping me that I'm the most worthless and awful thing in existence and to even have people see me would be insulting to them. That's how deep it goes.

@vizual Ayyy, at least I'm not alone in that regard

Yes, been doing this every day for a while now. It's hard to unravel that though, feels like i'm a surgeon poking at my own brain. I know it is futile, yet my rules of who I should be are in place. I hate myself, but I can't change that, because I recognize the reasons why to be truthful and right. Have been going to therapy since I was about 15, am 21 now. That system hasn't worked for me very well I should do more of this, good suggestion.

I write, although not enough. Trying to decide at the moment if I want to make it my life's work. Thank you for that suggestion, it clicked for me, will write about my face. You might be right. Perhaps while growing up culture sabotaged my sense of Beauty. The rules I now judge it by indeed cause suffering. I don't know how to rid myself of them though, they feel really important to my survival.

I always have had this ideal version of who I should be in my mind that I constantly compare myself to. If I feel like I don't live up to those expectations I feel immense hatred for myself. I know it's a pathological and neurotic, but being as I am now feels unacceptable. It feels awful, like I am worthless and shouldn't exist. I want to start feeling grounded in myself without being victim to the whims of the opinions of others. It feels like my body should be an accurate representation of how my soul is like, a signature if you will, having that not align feels absurd. ---- And finally, why should I love myself if I feel there is ample reason for me not to?

Closing this due to low-quality posting. If you want a good thread you gotta have more than just a title.

Mhh. Listening to yourself and all its parts is the ground principle that this practice is based upon. Counter-intuitively this could also mean that a scared part of you wants to listen to music that makes it feel safer, which could mean hopeful and uplifting music for example. In this way you are still helping it integrate. See how this works? Listen to the different parts of you and then choose the particular music that lets it speak. You need to feel into it.

I fell into the same trap at 16-19. Like @Leo Gura says, having your survival needs met and grounding yourself before going into deeper spiritual territory is really important. I was in quite a bad spot before I decided to let go of enlightenment for a while. Since then, working on my mental health and working on becoming a happy and functional human first has made my life a lot better. Don’t underestimate the amount of joy you can already create by having things like LP, relationships, etc. figured out.

@Manusia Thank you! I love writing so much, to have someone give me a compliment about it means a lot. First and foremost I recommend introspecting a lot, that's mainly where I got this info from. Seeing it happen within myself. You gotta follow the movements of your mind. But if you want to read up more on this kind of work I recommend Jung, I love his work. Probably more accesible is Teal Swan, she's helped me greatly too. All the best friend

Imagine our psyche like a rainbow. All the different aspects of our being represent a colour and make up the whole that is us. When an aspect is repressed, disowned, or rejected, such a colour becomes dim or even turns off. We become unbalanced and concomitantly problems arise. Just as a part of us can represent the vibration of the colour, let’s say red, so there is music, art, etc. that vibrates at the colour red. If you have repressed the colour red within you because of trauma, listening to music that vibrates at that colour will help that aspect of you that is repressed reawaken. Dancing to this music, acting it out, helps reintegrate this lost part back into your disfigured rainbow. So in more plain terms: music that makes you spontaneous for example, helps reawaken repressed spontaneity. It also can bring to the surface the reason why spontaneity is unintegrated in the first place.

@Fearey There is more to having kids than 100% selfishness and ego, be careful with only painting with broad strokes.

It's crazy how much music can help us integrate lost or undeveloped parts of ourselves. Lately I've been listening a lot to hardstyle and trance. It's been helping with facing my fears, working on my self-esteem, and becoming a stronger person. Music always has been that unjudging friend that I return to for consolation and guidance.

Hey thanks, I didn't know they did a doc on Bob. Probably going to watch it some time!

@SamC Leo's whole channel is built upon knowledge, gaining understanding, finding truth. That's the epitome of 5. Perhaps he has some 3 in his Tritype, if you're familiar with that, but as his main number I don't think so.

I'd say probably 5 with a 4 wing, could be wrong though.