Steph1988

@Flare Well thank you for the slightly less hysterical reaction this time. I did not say that you literately said that but you talk way to much about Nazi´s and i feel so far removed from that. It also fits our politically correct landscape these days where if you try to mention that bringing millions of people from a different culture in Europe might not be such a good idea u get completely slandered. It is absurd and it kills debate. First of all I never heard any remotely racist thing from any right wing politician in the Netherlands and all say they distance themselves from Nazi´s. The way some of them try to discuss Islam is tasteless indeed but if you try to go immerse yourself a bit in the Islam you discover that it is not a religion of piece, look up Mohammed, look up the sharia, look up what happens in Muslim country´s it is perfectly reasonable to say that maybe we should have less of that and maybe it is a little backwards. Why can we not discuss the content of this religion without being called an islamophobe. We don''t have to have respect for every religion or ideology, do you have respect for Scientology? if you do you are an idiot and a religion with 1,6 billion supporters and being the fastest growing one it should be under close scrutiny. But i don't even think the Muslims are most of the problem actually, the weak establishment is and if they keep looking away things get worse. Your whole argument is full with this, you break your own rules. I am actually fine with it to make a list so that you can see that there maybe is a problem but apparently the list was to short to convince you i guess. But you again you break your own rules, i come up with examples and then you ignore it and you go like, 1. well what about right wing extremists smashing up asylum centers 2. well what about boko haram killing 2000 people 3. what about 1933 so let me go though those, 1. They should be punished of course no doubt about it that is absolutely horrible. 2. question for you. are you the type of person who would twitter right after an attack as first thing on your mind ''i hope the right wing does not abuse this''? i almost don't dare to go there but you make me. What about this, we cannot stop all genocide in the world right away, we cannot take on all the horrible things going on at once, we have to start at least with home and our neighbors with a short term solution but a possible solution nonetheless. It is almost yes almost as if you are saying that there is so much filth going on in the world that to even it out we can take some as well. just roll over and suck it up. after all humanity is all one and as Carl Sagan said ''we are all made of star stuff'' so why not take one for the team. By trying to prevent terror attacks in Europe we would be selfish somehow? are you insane? again we cannot take on every world problem. Would you order 1 fireman to rescue a burning city? where is your logic. 3. The ground for a new Hitler doesn't seem ripe to me, in that example Germany came out of a terrible first world war with countless bitter veterans followed up by massive unemployment and mass inflation. But that is why it is important to take on the problems right now so the real right wing extremists will never get an excuse. So you are actually completely right on that one, i agree i fight the symptom, but that does not have to exclude any long term solutions? we can do them both right? If u get a hart attack it might be because you eat unhealthy,are stressed etc but what needs to happen first is reanimation what does not solve the root cause but without it you die. unfortunately this is where it gets to complicated. Africa's population is expanding rapidly and i have no idea why they insist on making baby's while there is not enough food around. So we have to look into that i'm very interested. and all these crises can have a million causes but that is another topic. Your empathy is without a plan and to me that is useless in this situation. We Cannot get them all here we have to Help them THERE and that is possible. But seems you want them all in? i'm not sure well that is gonna be disastrous because of the reasons i have stated already. I don't know what empathy is to you maybe sit around a campfire and sing songs for the refugee's while holding hands. or a minute of silence for every victim. Now to get truly cynical, did it ever cross your mind that the reasons country's take in so many refugee's might not be out of only empathy but there might be darker reasons such as egoistic virtue signalling in a competition between country's for the favor of their Brussels overlords who can take the most and then rucksightloss silencing any complaints. one of the most suspicious things might be that our government refuses to calculate the cost of the mass immigration because that would be discrimination of course. Or is it just handy to calculate otherwise it could be used against you in a debate. This should arouse at least some suspicion To me empathy is about action that actually has a thought out plan behind it while accepting that you cannot solve all the world's problems immediately all tough you work on them massively behind the scenes. All taken into consideration i do not think we will ever agree i guess the original point was my supposedly lack of integrity well i hope that despite our disagreements you can read where at least i am coming from and that there is logic to my arguments. I am afraid you have strengthened them because i did not see enough logic you make the same mistakes as everyone i had discussions with about the topic and i ultimately don't know what it is that you want. Still thank you for the discussion i found it interesting because you are coming to this from such a different view, we are completely different thinkers that is clear to me so at least i have gotten something out of it. I also want to add that actually we stayed on topic i think because as u can see no matter how much you don't like what i say i took the trouble to immerse myself for a while and then voted so to answer to the original topic i say yes you could vote but think about it very carefully and don't vote out of principle but be more deliberate about it. piece.

@MissMiki hear hear!

@Flare So its all about me, so far you called me Trump, mentioned carefully some stuff about Hitler,in your PM you refer to my "right wing extremist friends'' ( guess that includes my 2 Moroccan fellows as well? ) it is all about me i guess and my horrible behavior. So i have to put a thousand disclaimers on my posts from here on so u know i have nothing to do with the extreme right wing? I was not avoiding the part of my behavior i think that is not that interesting and my question to you was sincere ''What do u suggest is a better solution''? about the video i asked if these things were lies. well i tell you what are not lies in any case - The metro attack on london - The metro attack in Spain - The attack on the german Christmas market - The attack on the jewish school in toulouse - The attack in nice - The recent attack in london - The attack in Brussels - the assasinations on Theo van Gogh and Pim Fortuin here in my own country - Charlie hebdo and on and on and on For these things a few right wing party's here ( what a corrupted word allready that right wing ) Would like to have some border control and real discussions on the Islam. No deportations mind you. And for these reasonable proposals you get slandered come on you can do better. Oh i think the actualized crowd can take it it is a little provocative but that is the reason i asked if it were all true which is a reasonable question. And you are sorry for everyone? Oh how nice u speak for the whole forum. If u read my original posts carefully u can see that there is no real dubious stuff there and i asked you what are your better solutions? maybe you are right, maybe my modest proposals were somehow not right well then point it out. I thought we were debating a possible solution. Let me try to nuance it a bit. first I think we need to be selective in who we can let in for a while so we can solve the problems we all ready have with less strain on them. it is a short term solution but needed for any long term solution that we can come up with i argue. second If north Africans are over represented in crime and terror attacks it is important to not deny it and it maybe means a culture clash that is too big, so for now we should limit this culture not by smashing up mosques but just close borders for now so our culture stays the dominant one also for future generations with all its own faults we have to work on. You say ''we'' are robbing them well the solution to that is stop robbing them but not let them all in when u think about it that is the more humane and considerate way then let them in and then leave em to their own devices here. We have to shelter them in the region and we should invest there because again same culture/10 times cheaper/mind you the big mostly unused air conditioned tentcamp near mekka for their pilgrimages why is it not in use? we could help them right there and we should. The big problem the establishment is not doing this so we have to make bit of a statement and that is my reason for voting. So would you like to say something constructive or shall we psychoanalyze my persona a bit more. Is this not a great opportunity for self actualization by means of discussion? i'm enjoying this. your turn.

@Flare OK lots of stuff i could address but lets make it constructive then i am an open minded person do you have any idea's how to improve things in another way, any suggestions that might be better? i would like to hear it. Also Are these lies? u say not much of a problem these migrants so is this not true?

@Flare Aye it is hard to not get political here but i don't have a problem with people completely disagreeing with me actually i like that very much i have not had a decent discussion on this without being labeled. People from Morocco are by definition not scum of course and i tell you i even worked with several in my life and i liked them very much i work with one right now and we have decent respectful discussions about the Islam i think that is a breath of fresh air. No party officially states that they are scum by definition and i don't know where you heard that i definitely did not hear that and if i would i would not vote for such a person. However they are over represented in the crime statistics and that is only the reported stuff it is up to 7 times higher and there are ghetto's here you don't want to be there you so you could say statistically there is more scum amongst them and you would be factually right. What these right parties want is to have control over the borders again and not let more migrants in from these country's i think seen the problems that is a pragmatic solution to a practical problem. Now left parties talk much about empathy well what about empathy for the people living in these area's the asylum seekers come to live. Not a word and if u complain u get the label of being someone reacting from the underbelly, a stupid right winger and more. The left are just as good bullies. more reasons and thoughts about this problem - What about the higher birthrate of these ethnic groups? how much are there in 50 years? are we a minority? - Islamic violence is increasing here in Europe u don't know how much terrorists are hiding between these people - for the rest what are they gonna do here? is there a future for them here? well think about it no job,no houses,other climate,other language,other values where is their future perspective? I never heard a true long term plan for the future perspectives for these people from leftists when i discuss this i get only incoherent emotional reactions. - sheltering these refugees is 10 times cheaper in country's like Saudi Arabia and with same value's/culture there. That country wont do it they should help. - Islam i think is also something which need to be discussed and when the left states they want to talk they really mean a very comfortable conversation where noone gets upset because no actual content is being discussed. well there needs to be a discussion about the content of Islam with their leaders. Islam had no reformation and this should be looked into. I would be willing to give Islam the benefit of the doubt if they would discuss the content, the person i have discussions with will not really go into that and that bugs me because i am not seeking to hurt his feelings not at all i want to learn. the right wing agree's mostly that Islam is completely backwards and u might get hurt by that BUT you know maybe it is and they should be allowed to say it freely and if Muslims are so incredibly sure of their religion they could defend it also completely freely. These are some reasons i did that vote i thought about it for some time. But feel free to disagree with me i would like to hear well thought out reasons for completely open borders i think it is a dangerous plan look what happens in Sweden or Germany or France and if u say there are not that many yet consider this for future generations if their birthrate is higher and you can count on constant new influxes of migrants. For the ones we have now we can work with much better i think and can give them a better future if they accept our value's but the pressure has to be off first. So where in all these reasons is the racism and the bullying? this is a practical problem. So my integrity is fully intact.

I just voted a few weeks ago in the dutch election but i only did for very specific reasons. I know damn well that we can not really count on politicians, also they never mention a few things that are so big and important and pervasive but they never talk about it and don't acknowledge them. - I never hear something really philosophical - they never talk about the fractional reserve banking system and believe me if u don't know what that is u have been missing out on one of the biggest scams in history - they talk about global warming but not of a more immediate threat and that is the dwindling resources this is so important and gets so little attention is insane And yet i voted on what here in the Netherlands is regarded as extreme right wing. Why? because first of all the refugee problem is getting out of hand and second the media is horribly political correct about it and that bothers me so we need some balance thats all. If u vote that u risk the chance of being called a racist and whatnot i had arguments in my family about it and that is exactly why i vote right wing.

@Loreena Oh that sucks indeed i can relate to depression but tragedy is something else i only have seen people like that for example a young person who lost both their parents in quick succession and i guess very few people can relate to you i mean really relate and i can understand in that case u do not want to hear things as the world is perfect and all is love because it isn't, life is simply not fair and will never be. The one thing you might have that others don't is that you once u get better u are tougher then most other people and have more real empathy as i never seen a person with true empathy up this point who had everything going for them. so all best to you.

@Loreena i almost can´t believe it. Can you maybe tell why that is? And for the topic, I think what helped me a little bit is watching a LOT of comedy all kinds as long as it is a bit anarchistic and absurd. I think i watch some comedic stuff every day right before sleeping could be anything stand up comedy,old jackass episodes,stuff on YouTube etc Maybe not the most original tip but whatever works and seriously play a prank on someone or do something stupid, say unpredictable stuff just because u can .

- That only you can ultimately help yourself you can seek help and get inspired but you have to do it ultimately and if you don't the guilt will destroy your soul. - How poor lots of rich ( in money ) people are i've seen that a lot. - That you can have all the good habits installed but if you don't have a goal to work towards you will not keep them up this needs to go hand in hand the habits themselves are not the end goal they are there to serve it and i made that mistake although it was good mistake to make maybe. - That language is used as indoctrination ALL THE TIME even by well meaning people for example what is money? people will answer probably a store of value or something to get stuff with but it can be a million things it can be a store of value/an addiction/a religion ( it is today's main religion i would argue )/slavery/freedom/a way of distributing labor/ and countless others other nice words you can do this with are education/work/intelligence/society/the economy/love/friendship seriously contemplate there are consensus on all these words but its all an illusion so to complete this point come up with your own definitions for these things drawn from contemplating/reading/seeing etc - that the at first glance nice people can be the most boring,horrible,dangerous so be careful with overly nice people. - that religion does not HAVE to be bullshit i have come back from seeing myself as an atheist, there is more to it you have to look for the essence and the origins that is where it gets interesting. - starting to learn to play an instrument is one of the most worthwhile things you can do it is a lifetime challenge/pleasure and commitment and it makes you smarter. I have to add other passions and hobbies can fulfill this of course - that at first glance the worst people do not have to be that bad do not judge them to fast and listen to their stories with sincere interest. - That bars and clubs are one of the biggest widely ignored scams ever i think funny one to think about for less important stuff - kid's shows from the nineties were much better then the current ones. - that having watched every episode of married with children with my dad at least 3 times at the age of 12 may have shaped my worldview in unknown ways . - That baldurs gate as RPG will probably never be surpassed in brilliance. - That no Michelin star restaurant can compare to a good BBQ. - That downing a full glass of jack Daniels after being already drunk is a bad idea. - That purchasing two cats improved the quality of life by about 12%. - That the best humor will always be dark and or absurd. - That Chinese people can eat insane amounts of food - That attempts at getting a nostalgic feeling trying to watch police academy fail because it simply sucks. - That the best pizza i ever ate was in an obscure restaurant in a dark alley in Palermo i swear it was run by the Mafia. - That smoking cigarettes is one of the most irrational yet accepted thing you can do ( is it a nice break from work or an expensive effort to try to get lung cancer?) - That i have a strange fascination for ghosts and haunting s and everyone else thinks that is stupid and i don't understand that. - That sometimes you start to watch YouTube for serious stuff about self development and sometimes 10 minutes later you are watching a documentary about sharks. - That i don't understand i am scared of the smallest spider but huge lobsters are ok. - That this post is all ready too long i'm off till another time.

@jasonjp1016 Thx a lot for the inspiring story i am in the same situation. It feels like the hardest thing in my entire life it probably is not but it somehow feels that way. I've come from almost rock bottom overcame depression, solved most of my video game addiction,stabilized my finances and got in decent shape but this one still kind of haunts me because i took too little action and i feel a little bit guilty. Oh and the missed opportunity's haha they hurt! I can't put the finger on it why i have lack of confidence in this i am not shy i am generally confident and i'm not dumb. I am 28 now this story gives me hope but that is not enough i must overcome it like i overcame the rest of my problems with much determination. thx again!

@Lai haha so long ago since i heard that one jeugdsentiment!

@tashawoodfall haha why can't i find girls like you on tinder ! maybe i need to train a six pack and put that as the first photo maybe that would work. If you are trolling you are doing great .

@Peace and Love No don't leave u made great posts! But consider we are simply animals with our DNA hardwired from 100.000's years evolution and yes you can transcend stuff i guess but to say that looks are not important is delusional, accept the cold hard reality there is no such thing as unconditional love ( at least i never seen that ) but that is no big deal it is what it is. If you think that men are just after looks are bad ( and i don't think they are BTW ). What do we have to think about all the woman who reject men for the most obscure reasons. there is a whole industry set up to help men pierce the chinks in the armor ( RSD for example and countless others ). I'm sorry but the world is not fair. Contemplate this and unconditional love is a fairy tale for now ( i hope someone can debunk me on this one but i never saw evidence for it ). Accept the painful truth and from there it can only get better. But i don't think you should leave because u will be hurt again on another forum or in real life no matter where you go you cannot escape it you can only try to understand where things come from and why they happen and that will be hugely relieving. I wish you the best

@Key Elements Ty will at least check it out and read a summary as i am busy on 2 other books atm but gonna check it

@Key Elements iv'e read it good job that is a clear example. actually a good question what do you tend to do in free time but the answer might not be something you are able to monetize within less then 10 years or at all. I notice myself for example endlessly researching all kinds of topics i guess i just want to know everything. @Shin hahaha you should totally do that forget the enlightenment for now that can come later.

That life purpose thing is hard i think because what is asked of you is to specialize, to put most of your time into one thing that means automatically you can't do something else and without this sacrifice you will not be good enough to compete with the others who do it. Then we live in an information age with also the possibility of endless cheap entertainment and distraction which makes it even harder to make a choice and stick to it. Sometimes i am jealous of a medieval peasant or artisan their small world was much more clear. Maybe the calling/life purpose whatever you want to call it is seeking you instead and all you can do is to solve short term problems which you think need attention that gives you at least a reason to get out of bed early and some meaning to your life and then hope for the best. so i am voting interpersonal for now with the life purpose being some kind of holy grail. @Key Elements that is perfect logic but what if you just cannot nail it down you will be in purgatory forever .

That despite working hard and doing everything right i will still not make my goals because i am somehow cursed. I am dead serious that is in the back of my mind and i am aware how irrational that sounds. Oh and spiders ...

@Lai interesting how so? i am curious what did you learn there? how long did you go? what attracted you to this particular country? I am asking because i want to see more of the world myself in the future and you did go alone i find that brave and it kinda intrigues me.

Yes you have to be honest at least to yourself at all times if you're not u are harming yourself and others in sneaky indirect ways i experienced. Actually u can't even begin to comprehend the evil and damage done with with lying to yourself and u can argue that it is the source of all evil that sounds over the top maybe but i think there is some truth to it. it is bad really bad that i hear adults in their forties say these little lies and fooling themselves but no surprise in a culture that by default does not offer any guidance. I catch my parents on these things all the times and i sometimes wonder how much did it indirectly damage my early development all tough i forgive them. i think it is very good to take that vow.

Very good question yes i have seen that often that lots of bosses and managers are actually simpletons ( generalizing of course here ). I don't have answer ready for it either i would like to know why that seems to be a trend.

@Lai U did go there awesome. did you go alone? how did you spend time there?

Can you explain more?

Incredibly intense guitar solo. Gary Moore is probably the greatest inspiration for my playing. Such emotional playing totally inspires me.

I play path of exile i find that somehow incredibly relaxing not meditative but just relaxing. And strategy games like i am a huge fan of the total war series it relaxes me completely. if i don't play too much that is because i had and still sometimes have a little bit of a video game addiction alltough i have it more under control now because then it will not relax me but tire me.