benny

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About benny

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    Vancouver
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  1. What are the principles? I know not send more than 2 or 3 back-and-forth before setting a date, but what other guidelines are helpful to follow?
  2. Hi. I'm going to give a bird's eye view of my current life circumstances and I'd love to hear people's perspectives on how I can continue to move forward constructively. I think it could be a powerful exercise and potentially provide some valuable insight and guidance. Thank you all in advance for taking the time to help me. I'll break my life down in terms of domains (e.g. relationships, health, career, etc.). I aim to keep it short, so no walls of text you need to wade through General info I'm a 26 year old male (27 next month). Born to an upper middle class family. Only child. Independent now and making my own way in the world. Came from an abusive background and was really fucked up because of it (deficit in all domains of life, depression and anxiety, low self-esteem, etc.). Through five years of concerted effort to grow and turn my life around, I've made massive progress. The results are written out below. Relationships (familial) Very close relationship with my mom. I lucked out. My mother is one of the best people I know. Incredibly positive, incredibly supportive. Incredibly loving. She's awesome. My biological father is toxic stage red/orange. Has a short temper, verbally and emotionally abusive. He can also be attentive, loving, and supportive. He lives on the opposite side of the country, so my relationship with him, prior to going no contact 6 months ago, was conducted over the phone. I haven't seen him in 3 years, I haven't spoken to him in six months. It causes me a lot of pain because, naturally, there's a part of me that wants my father in my life. He isn't always awful, but when he is, he's truly awful. I suspect he has narcissistic personality disorder. I'm currently reflecting on whether or not I want to reconcile. Relationships (platonic) I have 3 friends and a few acquaintances (who are friends of my friends). I'm super close with my best friend. We love each other and we're at the point where we openly express it. He has my back and I have his. I'm incredibly grateful for his friendship. My other two friends aren't as close, but they're still good friends and I enjoy their company. I'd like to add 1 or 2 more good friends to the roster. I consider myself pretty confident and outgoing, generally speaking. I wasn't always that way and it took a lot of work to get there. Relationships (romantic) Used to be absolutely clueless. had one long-term relationship from 18-21. It was super toxic and co-dependent because we were both really insecure. Discovered pickup at 22, which I dabbled in for a couple of years (on-again-off-again). Went on between 150-300 dates from 22 to now (you stop counting after a while). Have probably slept with about 50ish women (again, stopped counting). Only 2 or 3 of the women I've dated ever expressed interest in being exclusive. I turned them down because I felt I'd be settling. Most of the women I've dated I've fucked it up with within 1-8 weeks of the dating phase (avg. week 2 or 3). Was recently seeing a woman for a couple of months and things were going really well. She's currently in Japan for the summer for work, so that's on ice. I am currently doing a deep dive into this area of my life, doing 3 cold approaches Monday-Friday. Sometimes I slack off and don't approach though. My target is 2000 approaches. So far I've done 111. I'm also reading How to Be a 3% Man by Corey Wayne. I've also studied how to have amazing sex, which has translated into incredible experiences in the bedroom. I credit @Leo Gura, in part, with his videos on sexuality. They really helped me become conscious of how to fuck a woman properly. Thanks, Leo! Finances and business I have 30 grand in the stock market. It's being managed by a very well-regarded financial advisor. The only reason he took on my portfolio is because he manages my mom and step dad's portfolio. I'm well below the minimum networth this guy usually requires, so I'm very fortunate. I have about 4 grand in cash and that represents my living money. I've been collecting government assistance since March of 2020 since being laid off from my job as a server due to covid. During that time, I acquired my life coaching certification through iPEC, as well as my personal training certification through ACE. I have hired a business consultant who specializes in helping coaches build full-time coaching practices and I'm doing the work to build my practice each day. I've also been applying to all the gyms and fitness studios in the city to get work as a trainer while I build my practice. Currently have 2 paid clients as a coach; nowhere near paying my bills (which are already pretty modest, given my frugal lifestyle), but it's a start! Health I exercise at the gym 4 days per week, not counting all the walking and biking I do (I do not own a car; can't afford one right now). I'm a vegetarian. All my meals are whole foods (and organic, where I can afford it). Tons of veggies, fruits, oats, eggs, almond milk, almond butter, brown rice, lentils, chickpeas. I look great and I feel great. I'm 5'9, weighing in at 150lbs. I also get 7-8 hours of sleep per night, meditate every single morning for 20 minutes, and express gratitude for 3 things in my life every morning. Mental health Overcame my pure obsessional disorder (subtype of OCD) with CBT and personal development. Still have OCD but now it's just for cleanliness and order, which doesn't cause any distress. Also get depressive episodes and anxiety. When I'm happy and in a good place, I'll feel on top of the world. Happy periods vary in length. When I'm depressive, it can be very taxing emotionally. Depressive periods tend to last 4-8 weeks, and then I feel really happy for a while. Typically my depressive episodes are catalyzed by some sort of stressor in my life. Need to go to therapy and work this stuff out. Productivity I wake up early (6:45am). Sometimes I lay in bed until as late as 7:30am. This is a self-control issue I want to get handled. I work in block time. 3 blocks for 2 hours each. I take every Saturday off, and every second week I take a two-day weekend. Hobbies Guitar, archery, cooking, hiking, and writing. Writing, as I continue to build my business, will become a central component of my life purpose and will be more than just a hobby. Addictions Don't drink, smoke, or do hard drugs. I smoke marijuana once every couple of months. I've also recently started taking psychedelics again after a five year hiatus, this time for personal growth. I intend to do them 2-4 times per year. I do not watch porn. I do not drink. I don't drink coffee. I don't have social media (except FB for business). Don't smoke cigs. I have a web browsing addiction. I can also distract myself with daydreams when I should be working. I've made huge progress in developing focus and continue to work on it. And that is my life in a nutshell. If you have any questions, insights, etc., I'd love to hear what you have to say.
  3. This question has been on my mind for a while. I think most people, with true determination and reasonable intelligence, can grow and reach high levels of personal growth. Then there are factors such as character and genetics. On the one hand, It's a trap to blame "bad genes" on one's poor results in life, and on the other hand, someone with down syndrome simply doesn't have the same capacity as an "able-minded" person, and can therefore not hope to reach the same levels of growth. Then there's strength of character. Personal development involves heavy emotional labor and a lot of discomfort. Are some people fundamentally unable to stomach this? Are they simply too weak, and are therefore incapable? I know there are people who are unwilling, but that's different from unable. Do you believe there are people with a fixed character that makes them too weak to do the work? Or do you think any able person can gradually build the strength to do the work, if they make the choice? I believe most people can. But I also believe most people won't. What are your guys' opinions on the matter?
  4. Honestly, I've never read such insufferable prose in all my life. It takes careful deciphering of Campbell's word salads to extract very simple (albeit powerful) lessons about the human journey. He's so pompous and self-indulgent that I actually get angry at him when reading his supposed magnum opus, The Hero With a Thousand Faces. It makes me want to resurrect him so I can punch him in his stupid face and tell him what a god awful writer he is. The end.
  5. @The0Self Thanks for your help!
  6. @The0Self Ok. I equated the two. My bad.
  7. @The0Self Here's the product. Unless I'm missing something, they're claiming 250mg per piece. Are they misleading their customers? https://www.organicshroomcanada.ca/product/wonder-psilocybin-chocolate-bar-milk-chocolate/
  8. @Tim R Also, this guy says there's 10mg per gram
  9. @Elevated 250mg per piece. The bar contains 12 pieces for a total of 3000mg. So that's roughly 3 grams of mushrooms for the whole bar?
  10. @Tim R So 1000mg =1 gram mushrooms? I know that's roughly speaking, because batches vary in potency.
  11. Hey everyone. I've been reading up on the different dose ranges for magic mushrooms (micro, museum, moderate, large, heroic), and all the guidelines I've seen have been in terms of grams consumed. Does anybody have a guide in terms of mg? I bought a chocolate bar and each piece contains 250mg of psilocybin. I'm looking to take a moderate dose. I've done many 3.5gram mushroom trips when I was younger, but I was doing it for recreation, whereas now I'm doing it for personal growth. I want to take a large enough dose to have a solid trip, but I don't want to overdo it. I'm 5'9 150lbs. I'm thinking of starting at 1500mg and I can increase from there, but looking for suggestions also.
  12. Just got mine in the mail. It says each piece contains 250mg psilocybin. It also says that a moderate dose is roughly 4 pieces, which amounts to 1000mg! Based on what I've read, that's a MASSIVE dose! The bar, in its entirety, is supposedly equivalent to 3 grams of mushrooms. I've done 3.5 gram trips probably a dozen times, but I was young and ignorant back then and only did it for recreation. Now I'm revisiting psychedelics five years later and I'm doing them for personal development work. I want to take a powerful enough dose to induce a deeply altered state of consciousness, but I don't want to overdo it. Can anybody here shed light on dosing protocol? Would one piece suffice? Most of the dosing guidelines I've found speak in terms of grams, rather than mg. Also, has anyone tried this product before?
  13. I get the sense that confusing the map for the territory means to dogmatically adhere to models and belief systems, when in reality, you may need to think and act outside those models and beliefs to properly navigate towards a successful outcome. For instance, if I have a map, and it tells me to walk through a canyon to get to town on the other side, but the entrance to the canyon has collapsed, I can't use the map. I now have to devise an alternative way to get to town. Maybe I'm completely off-base, though.
  14. I want to develop the type of strength women are drawn to. How do I develop it in myself?
  15. It's pretty simple, actually. You look over their profile. You ask them a question in reference to their profile 2, 3, maybe 4 back-and-forths. Then you set up a video/phone call to see if there's chemistry. Corey Wayne, a dating coach, says these phone/video calls should be 10-15 minutes long, and if you two click, you say something along the lines of, "We should grab coffee/tea/drinks, what's your schedule look like?" The idea is that you want something casual that can evolve into dinner if things go well. Take her for drinks/appetizers/tea, and have 2-3 other places nearby, one of them being a spot for dinner. Also, remember to make a definite date, meaning you establish the day, time, and place. And you plan the logistics. She doesn't want to have to do that. She just wants to show up, look pretty, and have a great time. You want to take her to 2-3 different spots in any given date, because that supposedly has the psychological effect of being on 2-3 different dates, and women are most likely to sleep with a guy after the second or third date. This raises the odds of getting laid on date 1. Read How to Be a 3% Man. It will help you with online dating, and with your dating game in general. For what it's worth, I tend the make the video call a video date - typically lasts an hour, and then I'll reach out a few days later if I enjoyed the conversation. This isn't what Corey advises, but I still have a pretty high success rate. That said, I haven't tried the 10-15 minute approach. Go get em!