puporing

It's not a belief, I don't care about the word solipsism either . @thisintegrated this is the problem about talking about this stuff on here .

I see. Well.. I guess for me it doesn't change the love that's there, even knowing they're ultimately "part of myself", I feel like it only increases it for me. And I can appreciate any form of interaction be it in a 'relationship' or not in one. There's also a playfulness to any seeking of an interaction/experience. Everyone is perfection, but you may resonate more with some than others.

So what are you trying to "deal with" exactly? I was just referring to how I would see/deal with the "loss" of someone through whatever means this "loss" happened.

The love can still be there. Uhh it's gonna sound controversial again but you can still love someone when they're not nearby.

@Atb210201 It's all good you're learning from it.. It's all part of life. Highest love includes love for yourself too.

Maybe be more honest about what you want/how you see things earlier on in your communications? That way you can get a sense about if you're compatible/on a similar page.

Thanks @Leo Gura for being the catalyst/guide/pioneer in guiding me reaching this point.

@Michael Jackson <3<3<3 Thank you I'm glad to hear it resonated!!

3rd 3.5g Golden Teacher Mushroom "Trip" (lawl): Words cannot describe the profundity! I broke down in tears of joy, crawling on the floor, screaming This beautiful body I have created and experiencing through I created it I created Leo, Yasu, Brian, Louis, Aaron, my parents, this floor, the neighbors, this phone, everything Look at the hands, the face, the hair Holy fuck I’m just imagining it and calling it reality and "myself". My “crushes”, my “pains”, my "sexuality", my "gender" questioning, led me to this truth of who I am This grand illusion to deceive myself in order to experience and express myself This truth was inside of me all along, like the music I yearned to express Did Brian know? The mushroom lady, did she know? I am literally everyone, I cannot contain this absolutely endless stream of consciousness I am now able to perceive There is no one else but me I am all there is I had created such a convincing dream And it’s so beautiful and perfect I fooled myself I had to be fooled in order to experience through this facet of creation totally and deeply, this dream But I knew something was up, something fishy! And now I found out the fucking truth This body is not what it seems This avatar is just a lens I am expressing and seeing through I created this as part of myself expressing and knowing myself Mushrooms and Leo and Actualized.org, what the fuck that was so genius I laugh at the thought of “buying mushrooms” to return to my true nature Are you going to doubt this once this "trip" wears off? You're just going to call it a "trip" No. The dream, my life as I knew it, was the trip, it's been flipped! How the fuck was I able to access this? I feel so deeply loved to know this directly

@Razard86 I think OP just wants to connect, like face to face. It's all good.

@thisintegrated He's saying you can't always count on changing the way reality operates to the way you want it to, but that you may still be able to get what you want through another means.

@KoryKat Sends you a *virtual hug* . Side note: Kuddos for speaking up for what you want - seems like much growth happened for you since your post about "saying no". Also you could always start your Meetup group with a focus and see if anyone in your area shows up.

I'm thinking maybe it's even a very practical thing too... Like opening yourself up to legal liabilities for things you had no oversight over.

Um yeah, I do agree about the disappointment at least in not being able to advertise about local meet-up groups. Mostly I just give up on the thought and appreciate what is available. Other "spiritual communities" are equally inaccessible (in person) unless you have lots of money lol. Maybe it's easy for things to "get out of hand"? Also he stresses about going beyond Actualized.org.

Y'all should just do what Leo says. It becomes awkward when the guy is expecting the girl to make lots of "moves" (happens too often). Side note: I think many men (and women) need some kind of therapy/self-therapy to be truly great on dates. One of the main hurdles I run into is just guys who go on and on about themselves and put in little effort to connect. Dates are like their therapy sessions with hopefully a happy ending lol.

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Haha, from a high level yeah, the other stuff usually comes with being highly conscious. High consciousness = love, presence/awareness. And that is that which all the other stuff can come out of that others have mentioned.

High consciousness.

You have to tell them somehow eventually.. things like that you want to be left alone, live your own life apart from theirs, that you struggle to relate on things, will see them from time to time to the frequency that you're comfortable with. Yes it can be very hard to talk about this and bracing for their reaction especially if you came from a culture where this is deemed "taboo". But sounds like it's not sustainable for you to not say anything either.

It's pretty common with women who had trauma and not healed this yet, and wanting safety first and foremost (ie through committment). Also a ton of conditioning around this. It's not your fault or her fault or anything. Just a bit of a tragic state of where humanity is at mostly right now - where most people are acting from a highly insecure place - trauma, lack of quality connections, loving presence, self-realization etc. I'd say.. try to be gentle on her in your heart, and to your desire to explore as well. I guess it does help to be a bit more explicit somehow from the start - saying things like: I am still exploring, not sure about a long term thing yet but seeing how it goes, but I do feel (this) way about you, I am hoping we could have a nice experience together...etc. Just being honest helps because some assume something long term right off the bat (it seems). It's better to communicate this and you're learning from this experience - than to "accidentally" get someone's hopes up and then you have to clean things up.

What is in this "Matthew" experience that you want more of? Look into that some more. And also love yourself more. Matthew needs love too and that is also part of your expansion/growth process. Don't skip over it just for the sake of getting into expanded states! It's calling to you for a reason. And then you can choose to zoom out and exercise that muscle whenever it feels necessary/helpful to you.