puporing

Might be chronic abuse (could be entirely emotional).. and now you've had enough and cannot contain it no more. Idk that's just my experience these things don't just happen out of nowhere... It's hard when it's your mom. You'll gaslight yourself for a long time before realizing just how much crap you were thrown at. I don't know your situation though just sounds like something to dig and heal, probably has to be done away from her though.

It's becomes a choice about how much do you want kill the self that serves the self, and how much alignment you want with God (the big I) or Truth. I mean there's no right answer, you're here in a finite form to fulfill something, to learn/experience. You can know your true nature but still have unfulfilled desires as the ego (or boredom ). But maybe you are waking yourself up because the time is right. So you could also choose to orient towards unconditional love and being a presence/lighthouse for others who are seeking to know the truth and anchor for going through the same process. Or a combination thereof. I think it becomes natural to want to share with those who are open to it or seeking it out. And what's kind of freaky is you start attracting "seekers" to your life, not through any marketing or advertising, but just by virtue of being more conscious in everyday life and through your work. Whatever feels right to you.. You're at where you need to be this moment, trust/follow your inner guidance and there's the answer to that.

@JoeVolcano LOL I know...

because you might enjoy being alone a lot. When you're with someone, you're not with "yourself" if that makes sense. It's not necessary that the person lives in a faraway place, just that you don't want to be around them all the time or day in/day out. I for whatever reason can't stand it no matter how much I may love someone.. it's better to have some distance. It's like even if you may like a nice meal, you can't nor want it all the time. Then there's the issue of metaphysical love you have for all things which is hard to relish in when you're in the presence of another. Most people demand all your attention to be on them (and often give very little)... as they're still seeking love only through the source of another ego. For me personally the projection of egos means I have to live in falsehood to some extent when around another, and I can only do that for so much. And then whatever love arises is "real" and authentic, not out of obligation, and gives freedom to yourself and the other. Spirituality will eventually touch every corner of your life as you knew it and can radically transform it.

@RickyFitts That's cool, he's one of the few others I listen to besides Leo.. him and Matt Kahn these days.

There's some nuance to it. My "life purpose" is more a set of values. But those values don't necessarily lead to just one thing I'm doing. Like for example, posting on this forum is part of what being "in alignment" is for me, and some other things that don't "make money". And the thing that makes me money I can still do it as consciously as possible, in as much alignment as possible, and in a way that gives me autonomy and free time for these other things. I would say you gotta be pragmatic about it too and not run yourself into a financial hole by pursuing just one life purpose, some people can pull that off but that's not the majority. The immediate survival stuff needs to be taken care of so you can pursue higher goals that may or may not generate income for you. This iterative process is maybe what you're pointing to and may get overlooked. Perhaps eventually you arrive at one thing that satisfies both survival and the spiritual, but that process can take time and is not always linear. I think the term "mastery" may be more fitting.. what's something you want to be masterful at if any such thing at all? And you're not doing it for anyone, or for money, but for yourself and the satisfaction from overcoming the challenges and hurdles day in and day out. That gives your life meaning.

@EdgeGod900 If you honestly find more fulfillment in doing nothing right now then that's that. Maybe you just haven't gotten enough of that too. I am not the same as before in "doing" either, it's done with more ease because there's an inner guidance and peacefulness already. It's like.. yeah I don't have to do anything, but then again I'm here and there are things I gravitate to and wish to express, aspects of God. And it's not something to guilt yourself into so you're where you need to be.. maybe it'll keep being like this, maybe not, go with the flow.

Is there something you can combine with being-ness and doing-ness? As well, if you want to be in more alignment with "God consciousness". What aspects do you value the most (in your being-ness?), and you can make those your top values and find ways (work or otherwise) to embody those. For example, maybe you really love beauty.. okay, what are ways you can bring more beauty into yours/others life? That could be deeply satisfying. Or Love, Consciousness, Divinity, Wisdom, Truth, Infinity, etc, you get it. Whatever you gravitate to about being-ness, can give you ideas about how to live that, and let it be expressed through you, in a very precise and unique way that has not been done before.

@RickyFitts Thanks for watching it .

Oh I see what you mean, you don't want to just do the pen pal thing. I guess I personally like the written format, at least to start.. and I'm sure there are people who prefer video calls like yourself. I do plan on eventually meeting some of the people on here one day. Actually I would really like to do a road trip or something.. but I don't have enough contacts nearby (in North America) yet to motivate such .

These days my thoughts are more along the lines of loving what arises. I am headed in the direction of not "demanding" a relationship, but being in the moment whenever love/romance, and friendship arises. (And if that goes on arising then I guess it would look like a long term relationship to the outside, but it's not exactly the same). I think that's how I would like to live and allow others the freedom to be. I'm not fully there yet still need to work on myself and independence, but I am moving in that direction. I know that doesn't answer your questions.. but maybe still a valid perspective to share.

Just start chatting to someone you gravitate to and see if they have the same :), might take a few tries... But yes lately all my interactions are online, this place mostly.

Thought I'd share this additional resource with those who might be interested in progressing in embodiment work, and becoming conscious leaders and/or healers in your life. Matt Kahn is hosting a 9-week call series over Zoom to assist you in becoming and bringing here the light and cosmic Love that you are. https://tickets.brightstarevents.com/event/angel-academy-season14-masteringthevibrationalscale Here's a pre-amble on what's to come:

@WonderSeeker Cool share, I love Muse.

You forgot the "became Leo on a psychedelic trip" (and elsewhere maybe) .

It's a tough one. It is true it isn't strictly your responsibility, it is ultimately her responsibility to heal the trauma. However, people can always aid in the process of someone doing so without burning themselves out. It all depends on your level of comfort/how much you're willing to "give" which is what it boils down to.. There's not really a "right" answer. Sometimes all it takes is one moment of "true love" for someone to heal a deep wound (if the other is also conscious in receiving it). But question is are you ready to give that or even know how/what it looks like? Figure out how much energy you're willing/capable of giving to someone, and follow that so you can maintain integrity/harmony, defer the rest to other resources/therapists, etc.

Ego games..

I'm pretty sure Alan Watts was reasonably wealthy... The thing is if you want to be wealthier than most people you have to do something different from most people.

Never tried it.. has he talked to a therapist or hotline?

Yeah it's better if you are not in a dire survival situation, I mean it would be easier to integrate it more fully and then embody it. And if you do have survival sort of handled, then it's about your values possibly shifting as a result of the change in perspective if you choose (eg personal to universal). And that might change what you do and how you show up in the world, etc. Also your baseline consciousness most likely still has lots of room to grow. Like you can get to a point where you're just in awe of what is here right now, and be filled with love more often than not, embrace more fully what reality is, etc. This one might be helpful to you, what later stages look like:

Notice all the false ideas you might have of who you really are, notice they're mostly adopted from others as you were growing up. Make a commitment to discover who you really are, who are you when you drop the conditioning, projections from "others"? Keep looking and looking until you can't go further. What you are before the thoughts and stories of who you are, and more . And then one day you are free from "the other" and their projections and you notice them for what they really are, just more projections that have no real bearing on your true nature. You can still play along at that point but deep down you know yourself as radiant perfection.