puporing

If you don't have a choice. What is it that makes you recoil or depletes you? You can set some boundaries and have a looser connection with people, or embrace being a bit of a weirdo..

Probably at an early point when he naturally tried to get his caregivers attention to the pain/injury they ignored him or made him feel really bad/guilty about it. That's what happened to me and I haven't mentioned health problems to my parents for almost all my adult life now. It's nice that you're picking up that something isn't quite right..

@Devin I appreciate it. It's alright I can feel plenty of connection even over the net. Everyone you interact with for a time was/is a friend, and you (I can't help with that one).

@Devin I don't know if that's the issue or not. Isolation is inevitable with this work at current time. Maybe one day they'll make awakening part of school curriculum. Most people I tried to interact with over the years are very stuck in ego and projecting, like I mentioned before in another thread I am seen for my appearance not for what I convey and what I convey is easily dismissed if not antagonized by general population. Most people simply want to control how I live/how I think/be and box me into something they imagine is acceptable, and I don't want anything to do with this at the moment. This is not nourishing or desirable. Not to mention most people give very little if anything, they want to take alot of my time and attention but give almost none. It's really exhausting after awhile. So yeah I'm just accepting how things are when it comes to that. I have not much issue with the isolation right now.

The last 2-3 years. Got the fibromyalgia diagnosis but they don't really understand it. My gut feeling tells me it's related to my lack of will to "be here" as an ego, but who really knows.

I can't even if I wanted to these days. My body feels like it's slowly "dissolving". Like I'm barely holding onto it. Don't know what's happening to me. I feel like fainting even after a light swim. Anyway basically working smart became a necessity.

That's your clue. Sounds a bit like passion/adventure is lacking in your life currently (or whatever it is you're seeking). What are some things that would make your life awesome? (Perhaps even things that are conflicting with your current way of life, but you should consider them too if they bubble up).

This is something I've been contemplating about and I found some clarity on the subject in this video: He has also briefly shared his take on how to approach psychedelics here. (FYI The pyramids he was talking about were also discussed in channelled work RA: Law of One) "Throw the monkey off your back and let the divine monkey enter" .

I use the Aveeno Sensitive Skin SPF 50 zinc oxide one. There aren't many like this but they're out there if you search mineral sunscreen or zinc oxide. (Titanium Dioxide is the other mineral one). The idea is to get as much coverage as possible but is something you'll actually use/not react negative against (eg, some folks with darker skins don't like mineral sunscreen because of the white cast). And also taking environmental considerations into account.

^Thanks for the shares : ) There are too many for me to list but here's one that's kind of unique/reminded me of sharing: It just seemed so "simple" yet communicated incredible emotional depth (lyrics in the description). And this one

Yeah I've seen those.. maybe I should issue a warning when I share his stuff. I don't know enough. It's unfortunate if it were true, coz I sense he has imminent access to the divine. He could be self decepted about some things and survival stuff can easily cloud one's judgement. I don't really recommend going there long term. And hope that people who do are aware of cult dynamics. It's like any teaching you gotta tease out the truthiness from the "untruth and noise" such as some of the word choices he use.

You had to be/experience unconsciousness to move towards more consciousness.

Didn't expect to see Nujabes here, I used to listen to his stuff all the time! Still love it.

(Not sure if this is the right category to put this). So I've been experiencing a lot of shifts in awareness and how I perceive reality in my baseline consciousness lately and I am wondering if "anyone" feels this way or has found some healthy ways to transition through this. Do you struggle with relating with "others" post-awakening knowing they're just you, but they mostly don't recognize it as such? Do you have to trick yourself to believe that the other exists in order to have interaction? Do you have to trick yourself into thinking like a human again to function and/or have "human goals"? It's been really sticking with me these days that nothing exists the way most people view it, except as "costume" or "narratives" and constructions, and anytime I interact with someone I'm just talking to myself but I sort of have to act like I am not... It's like being the only sober person at a drunk party. Eating food I feel like I am ultimately eating "nothing" but is necessary to keep this body alive/healthy. I go to a swimming pool or walk on a street full of people and it dawns on me they're all me. And I feel completely insane because of how isolated I am in this awareness, and how almost nobody would understand me if I pointed this out. Sometimes it can feel "good" too especially in nature and with animals, classical music, I feel more at peace being one with them (which is a bias..). So it's a rollercoaster kind of ride. I seem to feel at the most peace being alone or with someone that has an opening/accepts my understanding of reality at this point and not totally enraptured in the dream. Not sure where this post is going..it's just been bottling up and need to be said.. (maybe this alone helps to cope/transition). I'm sorting out some thoughts on it. It's like yea.. I know this is what's gonna happen when you go deep.. but maybe some struggles with the change is also normal to have.. It's almost like I have to embrace "acting", well maybe that's the answer to this lawl. Perhaps some of you are struggling with the same.. And if you are.. I want to say, I see your struggles and know how hard they can be. Even though the separation between us is imaginary, I am here, and see your struggle with this journey. Thank you for reading. Sharing already seem to make it better.

This is my take on poly: You can't force any aspects of it (meaning, create opportunities but let the others decide on participation, not only whether they want that, but how it fleshes out, and can take a lot of communication). Be willing to let go of it and/or console if you sense someone is going to/is getting hurt. By trio, if you mean the others can't date other people if they wanted then it's not truly balanced/ethical, only if it happened voluntarily and changes to the structure are respected. This includes your own evolution which may change your idea of what you want. More likely to work if all are acting from a place of selflessness (which you have to do both yourself and find others similar). More likely to work if everyone involved are more independent leaning and not acting from a place of neediness. And this independence/sovereignty is respected. More likely to work with SD Tier 2 folks. Might work if you got an abundance of unconditional love and not attached to outcome or what it gives you. Basically, don't get too attached to the idea and embrace what is because humanity is not that developed (and probably yourself too), that's not to say it can't ever happen or a less ideal form of it. Experiment and find out. A poly structure actually demands you to grow fast (and towards more independence) if you really want to maintain this way of relating. The real kicker is the more you grow (while thinking about relationship structures) the less you need anything or relationships or things to be a certain way so we're coming back full circle .

LOL. Maybe coz God is also a hopeless romantic.

Haha, it's certainly not the "highest" one can reach if one cannot even empathize with the relative struggles of finite beings and different stages of development.

Yeah the actual music to put it to words it would be around things like, divinity, profundity, beauty, infinity, light and darkness, love, humor, gracefulness, intelligence, paradox, consciousness. That last one is a bit hard to define but you know it when you see it.

It's not the genre I'm talking about. "Classical music" is very diverse. So within "EDM" of course you could have ones more reflective of God, same with rock or whatever genre. A good artist will usually appreciate many different genres of art as well. I make a special case for Chopin (and some others) because he has reached what I consider "the spiritual heights" from one instrument. Actually I think he was intentionally or unintentionally discovering God with his work.

Some people are really good actors and not using their "powers" for more selflessness... I've experienced similar thing with a therapist once, it went on almost a year before I realized what was happening (which was also partially due to my own shortcomings and need for healing at the time). That's not to say it was not valuable for me, it still was. And on the flip side people can learn/grow a great deal when they do see through a major deception.

Amen to that. Life can get really hard when just figuring out survival.

I think there's both "subjectivity" and "objectivity". The objective is roughly based on your level of consciousness/development, the subjective dictates the more specific art you're drawn to as it resonates with you. Chopin is also a great example of music reflecting the nature of reality/God.

Haha . Maybe you know, coz you're Leo.

Idk where life's gonna take me... it's always evolving. It's possible I'll be more "out there" one day, maybe to "transmit"/share something . I can appreciate the "prodding".

Yea I think I know.. it's not about "good or bad", just, different way of being, like if your default is a quiet mind, and you've transcended the need for language as the main way of communication, among other things like need for stimulation, buying into a collective story, etc, then yeah it's going to require "acting" on your part to be part of a group dynamic.