Preango

[14th Dec. 2016] Greetings. Starting to see results from my improved diet and lifestyle. Just need to persist and keep making gradual fixes. Today I sort of strayed from the routine though and that's definitely due to bad sleep day before - made me a lot more hungry. 5 mince pies and a steak and ale pie never tasted so good. Ah well, I've been eating healthy 90% of the time so the 10% will only keep it balanced. Do I want to grow my hair long? Don't know why but I don't go to the library even though I actually want to. Laziness? Maybe. Or perhaps it's the cold walk there. I'll wrap up and see if that makes it easier haha. Planning an early night today but since when did things ever go to plan? Right now I'm trying to get myself into Forex trading. It's a HUGE market and it's proving to be a lot of work - but hey, the rewards are incredible. I just need to learn key principles and accumulate a knowledge that can get me started. From there it will just be a case of experience and building confidence to rival competitors. For now, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. ? Habits: Water is struggling as my bottle is leaky and I can't really track plastic cups.. Guess I'll have to pack a few Evians in my bag. Exercise only happens if I sleep well the day before or else I just feel drained to go to the gym. Seems sleep is my one true enemy right now. Not only does it mess with other habits but it ruins my general productivity, energy and mood. Really clamping down on this. First step is to turn off my phone before bed (huge distraction) and limit myself to my good old reliable iPod nano to drift away to the sweet sounds of some 90s RnB. We on Prep day 6 my dudes. Not long til Christmas but also not long until 2017. A whole year of major change and opportunity and I'm going to grab the bull by it's horns! ? Pre out. ?

[11th Dec. 2016] All I can say is; today was a great day. I haven't felt like this in years. I've changed the way I interact with people and it's resulted in me experiencing a lot more positive feelings. To go from emotional neglect to being happy again was bliss. I did in fact do a little experiment to see how my mindset changed things. After spending most my morning with other people and feeling energised from treating myself level with others, I decided to switch my mindset temporarily back to feeling inferior and I started a conversation from that perspective. I noticed how this meant the other person ended up mocking me more and would disregard my personal space and ultimately be more disrespectful. I felt all my energy being drained and that enthusiasm I couldnt hold back before kinda just burnt out. It's interesting who the real energy drainers are. I did this experiment with a few people and some didn't change their behaviour and treated me ok while some saw it as a vulnerability they could predate on. Besides the energy drainers, I also found there were some that really clicked with me which didn't happe before. I held the longest and most exciting conversation with this one person where we were both really engaged and found it hard to bring it to a close - as we were having such a laugh. Honestly, I can say I no longer feel like a loser deep down and this has really shifted my confidence. I went to a wedding with the same mindset and received much more positive vibes. Usually I'd be eating shit on a Sunday but I made myself some nice salads with French or Caesar dressing with a whole bunch of other healthy meals and I just can't help but relish how good it feels on a profound level. Like if I ate my lamb doner kebab or something sure it would taste great for those few moments of eating - but that pleasure is fleetIng. You get left feeling bloated, lazy and still feeling unsatisfied. Eat healthy 90% of the time, eat whatever the fuck you want for the 10%. Simple. I've been watching the SAS: who dares wins series on channel 4 and it's making me realise a lot more strongly how you only realise who the real you is through hardships and challenges. I feel like I'm not challenging myself to the point of breaking (not literally) and it means I can't develop as much as I want. I need to take up challenges like swimming x laps of the pool or burn x calories at the gym or spend x hours focused on schoolwork. Mentally and physically I can push harder - I know I can. Also, the apprentice is going great. I really liked the recent episode on creating and marketing a Gin. Or Giin should I say. Habits: Slept late but I woke up at 8:30 which is early on a Sunday. Its 1:14am as I write this so sleep time is definitely in the red. Water was pretty good, I drank regularly but I didn't track it just kinda went with how it felt. I estimate about 2.5l or slightly more is how much I drank. Granted its less less than yesterday but my bottles broken so I had to make due with smaller bottles and glasses of water. Exercise, I am going swimming tomorrow but actually I almost feel like going gym as well after watching SAS. We'll see ? Pre out. ?

[10th Dec. 2016] I realised I don't want to use my regular format anymore. I prefer if I just followed through with my self reflections for the day and sort of explore any thoughts I have in mind. I slept like a fat cat today and I was snoozing all the way up to bloody noon. My day was pretty slow and I sort of trudged through. About 6pm a feeling kinda hit me -- you're doing this for yourself, to make you the happy one. The thing is I've come to realise that I've got a major problem of selflessness. I take other peoples shit, deal with unpleasant things so others don't have to, I go out my way to make sure everyone is appreciated and in the end I get walked all over, yet I don't protest. I allow myself to assume an inferior position to people. This is probably because it's a mindset I've held so long that I've become chained to it. I'd gladly be the one to die for someone if it meant they lived and I'm kinda disgusted by it now it's clear to me. After 6pm I made a decision to go to the gym and I did. I drank over 3 litres of water. I made 4 boxes of meals for the week. But most crucially I stopped trying to please people and instead put myself first. It was incredible. I tried it on my family and they started to treat me better and showed me their attention when normally they would of ignored me. I felt relevant. Now I'm going to make that my priority, to hold myself as my most valuable thing and not treat myself like shit. Another problem I've had for a looong time is depriving myself. This is either happiness or a good time. Usually this bad mentality existed and thrived because it felt good when I could think 'hey, you're doing this nice enjoyable thing now but I won't do it which makes me more disciplined and stronger than you so I'll get a better reward in the future'. Don't do this. This greatly different to lessening bad habits as doing it makes you feel better but this was literally deprivation. For instance, some Christmases I'd ask my dad not to buy me anything to save him money when really I wanted to show how strong willed I was then everyone else and hopefully be rewarded better for that. Or maybe the fact I've never owned many nice clothes. Or I don't ask to play out with friends. Or more currently in my teens I don't attend parties and I don't do anything fun. Fuck that. There is no reward for depriving - kids in Africa can tell you that. I want to stop this depriving and thrive. I want to have those good experiences I've denied myself all my life and am suffering as a result of. No more. My parents both have this mentality and I'm pretty sure I've been forced to adopt it off them. They always hated things in excess and so I became mediocre at swimming, at piano, at video games. Because I wasn't allowed to join the swim team, I wasn't allowed to spend too long practicing the piano or playing games for too long. That feeling of always being cut off from deeper enjoyment and the pain from it just made me choose to abstain. Fuck that. I can't tell you how fucking shit that fuckery is. It ends now and especially this school year when I can finally move out for uni or take a gap. In fact it's just my dad that started this shit. He's been broke when he came to this country and ever since then I guess he thinks suffering is the moral way to live life. My mum said to me proudly the other day she's never asked for a single present for Christmas for 20 years. I told her off for thinking that's a good think and she admitted to me how she's always wanted a bike. Both my mum and me have learned today that life is about prospering, not suffering. Actually, I had this realisation after seeing how most black people never abstain from good things (different from habits) and always seize the moment. Besides my twisted and troublesome problems I think sleep is my most crucial area for improvement or else I end up with a shit start to the day where I can't even remember what productive things I wanted done today let alone my daily habits. This needs work ASAP. After having about 3.5l of water I noticed my skin was looking unbelievably healthy and luminous which made me feel a lot more confident so I'm definitely determined to stay hydrated more often. Prep day 2 - Sleep (Red) - hydration (Green) - exercise (Green) Sorry if this style of entry is more rambly but it means I can gush out more of my thoughts instead of doing some pointless 'summary' of my day. It also means I'm more likely to post cuz less formatting and shit. Don't comment on this aamir especially if its to tell me to watch a Leo video.. Pre out. ?

I can't tell you how close to detail this is to myself. I know how you feel! You're not alone

[9th Dec. 2016] FRIDAY Fuck off. I actually stayed up late to write today's entry and I fucking left the page by accident trying to link a website and it didn't save. I don't care, I'm not writing that shit all out again so today will just have to be a mystery. Only thing I feel needs to be especially noted - It was festive friday. Usually there's the usual types of groups: standard sweater crowd, pretty for insta and lets go over the top individuals. Now before I was just the average sweater guy but this time I fell into the latter group. I tried going for a punkish gone-rogue rudolph look so I: - tore the arms off my Rudolph sweater turning it into a wooly tank top (show off my muscles) - made a tear along the front to expose my dense chest hair (manly) - wore a rudolph's face hat with slits I made so I could wear it like a mask (think festive Miami Hotline) - painted a birth mark on my chest red and added googly eyes and drew Rudolph In the end I looked like a pedo-masked homeless person with a seriously hairy chest. Ah well, I had fun. Who cares if I looked autisitic. Today was a really shit day in terms of working for greatness which is made even shit by the fact that I'd pull myself together only yesterday. Tomorrow, I swear by it. Also, loopholes. My brain loves loopholes and I bet yours does too -- they're ruining you and your happiness. Found this, check it out (this is the link that lost my first entry) http://gretchenrubin.com/happiness_project/2014/02/which-of-these-10-categories-of-loopholes-do-you-invoke/ Pre out.

I'm here for you bud.

@Venus Cheers buddy. I can't tell you how fucking awesome it is to find someone in a similar position to me. I REALLY like your journal cuz of how it's so to the point and it's got your own personality shining from it. Kinda makes mine sound all rigid and overly serious haha. Might try using colour like you do and being less robot and more human in my entries. Seriously tho, don't be afraid to shoot me a message anytime about anything. Having another person along for the ride will be fab! (P.S. Kinda sad you weren't a female tho.. ah well)

[8th Dec. 2016] THURSDAY I'm back. I've just experienced a huge backslide. It's really stumped the good progress I was previously making and I think I know why it happened - I over promised myself. I set myself too little time to form my new habits, despite preaching how it's the slow changes which are permanent and quick changes that aren't. As a result I subconsciously tried to avoid it as way to get away by reasoning it wasn't going to happen anyway or that it wasn't that important. This only led to procrastination and bad choices. The mind can be a really son of a bitch if you let it take the wheel from you. Wishful thinking brought me to believe that cutting my initial 66 days to 30 days would be a good idea as I'd have my habits formed by New Years Eve so I could start 2017 on the right foot. What did I learn? Don't lie to yourself in an attempt to believe you can do something. If something seems unlikely (distinctly different from challenging) than admit it to yourself. Being made a fool by your own ego is so easy that when it happens enough times you start accepting you're a fool and from there it's a downward spiral. Get a grip and control your mind - don't let it control you! Reminiscing, my first few days of using a journal were brilliant - everyday I felt like I was in the moment and I was aware. Coming back, I didn't even realise it's been nearly a week since my last entry and that's a reflection of me using time wastefully each day to the point that there impact on my life was so little that I simply forgot them! I'll never get those days back, but now I just need to focus on not repeating the same mistakes for the same misfortunes. Learn from failure. Summary: - I wasted today - I won't waste my tomorrows I wasted today I did nothing noteworthy, and this is most likely what the last week has been like too since I slipped up. Atrocious. I won't waste my tomorrows I won't aim for fast high rewards only to receive fleeting progress. Instead, I want high rewards in the long run. Habits: Instead of just looking at the results for motivation, I want to be intrinsically motivated - why do I want to do these habits? I want better controlled sleep because I enjoy waking up early the next day feeling like a champ. I appreciate those moments in my day when I've had enough sleep where I notice that I don't feel drowsy at a time I usually do. Good sleep itself makes the next day tenfold better than with bad sleep. Why do I care about hydration? Drinking plentiful water brings you into a strongly focused and aware state which I love. I like not having a painfully dry throat or having headaches. Being hydrated is feeling at your best and I want to feel like that every day. Exercise is incredible because you get a thrill while doing it and even after you've left the gym you can still feel the endorphins rewarding you for your work. I love that I can take a break from sitting down and working to push myself in an intense session. Going to the gym is an experience I can't wait to do - not something I hold back on. I WANT to spend an hour in the pool pushing out laps. Who cares if getting ready is a hassle - the change from stiff to relaxed muscles in later days is completely worth it. That's why, I'm doing these habits for those reasons and not for anything else extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation is limitless. Sleep {Day Prep/70} Sleep aim: 12:00pm Awake aim: 7:20 Don't forget to set an alarm of be prepared to awake late. It's been WEEKS since waking up earlier than 7:30. Ease into it. Hydration {Day Prep/70} Water consumption aim: 2.5l Use the app often. Don't be lazy to refill! Exercise {Week Prep/70} Sessions complete aim: 3 2 walks = one session Each habit is going to have preparation phase of 10 days to ease myself into the schedule. After that I want to try and stick to maintaining for the full 70 days. If any habits become second nature by that point I'll move to working on new ones. If one or two still need longer than I'll replace habits as necessary and keep those that are still forming enforced. Results: N/A Notes: - get yourself together Pre - journal daily to keep the vision clear - Thanks to @Aamir King for keeping me on track when I strayed.

I want to know what the actualized community think of competition. Everything to some extent is driven by competition and not exclusively to careers, sports, academics etc. I'm competing right now for your attention out of the thousands of other threads on here! A few questions to consider: - How do you deal with competition? - How can a person rise above competition? - Is competing something to enjoy or something that's simply an unpleasant way to get things done? Competition has increased a lot through out the years. I doubt your parents had to stress as hard to stay a float as you may have to now. I was compelled to write this after trying my hand at freelancing as well as watching Planet Earth II. Personally I think competition is horrible. It's a instinctive and primitve force that makes it hard to enjoy life. Please share your thoughts.

[2nd Dec. 2016] Summary: - Intermittent fasting - Freelance work - Bad atmosphere at home Intermittent fasting First day trying this eating pattern out I can say now that it was a brilliant success. Although I had a few hunger jabs throughout the day, it was expected. I noticed a sort of visceral source of energy and it meant I was a lot more energetic, productive and clear minded. For a while now I've struggled to concentrate but today I had several good hours of work complete and I did not feel drained afterwards. However, the hunger can be distracting but I'm sure It's my body adjusting. I reckon I only consumed around 1500 calories which I think is much too low so I think I'll bump up my eating tomorrow to around 2000 for good measure. Overall, very happy. I'll be doing IF indefinitely. Freelance work As I'm not allowed a job as my parents wont let me have one I sat at costa considering taking up online one-off jobs in writing as I enjoy it so much. It'd be nice to build up a good amount over time so despite it being unlikely to be making as much with a job and wages, I'll make a decent sum doing something I like doing. In fact, I'd become better at writing in the process which makes it a win-win. My first job I've applied for doing is to write a cover letter for a firefighter. job. Hopefully I'll be accepted so I can make my first bit of cash and gain confidence in my writing. Bad atmosphere at home My parents were very negative today. They spent the day being grouchy and sleeping for most of it. Of course they might be going through things I'm unaware of but it was disgusting how they acted. They berated me, my brother and sister. Took away our phones and got angry over the smallest things. Quite honestly it made me happy that I'm leaving for university in the not too distant future - far, far away. I thought I was going miss this journal entry because of the crappy mood they put me in but I realise its better to just push through. Habits: Sleep - I will perfect a sleep and wake routine through fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Day 2/30} DAILY Sleep by: 12:40am (Best at 10:30pm) Wake up by: 7:20am (Best at 5:00am) Hydration - I will make high water intake a lifelong habit through fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Day 2/30} DAILY Drinking 2.5 litres water (Best at 3.7 litres) Exercise - I will maintain high levels of physical activity following a schedule by fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Week 1/4} WEEKLY 1 organised gym sessions attended (Best at 3) 0 swimming sessions attended (Best at 1/1 on a Saturday morn.) 2 walks taken (Best at 7/7) Results 1. Sleep has improved a lot. Went to bed at 11:30 which was 2 hours earlier than the day before. Didn't feel a slump in the day or get sleepy either like I usually do. Waking up is still random and uncontrolled so I need to start setting alarms. Besides that, good progress. 2. Hydration was better. I used the water monitor app two or three times but I need to stop being lazy about refilling my bottle. I might need to increase my water even more due to the amount of increase in my coffee now that I've started going to Costa. Not as happy with hydration but it has improved, just needs a little more attention tomorrow. 3. Exercise was a missed opportunity. I wanted to go to the gym today as it was Friday but my mum was asleep so I couldn't get a lift. I really have got to push myself to go tomorrow in the morning. Notes: - If it weren't for the lifestyle changes I've implemented making me feel good, my parents would of caused me to start giving up and begin slacking on my habits. I'm doing this for me so letting that happen would only be a kick to the balls for myself. - eat more tomorrow and remake finished box meals

@Aamir King How to Stop Watching TV

@Aamir King I'll give it a watch, cheers. In fact, I'll try and apply it also.

[1st Dec. 2016] Summary: Late to Bed.. again Cooked and boxed my food First self-help book read: Rich Dad, Poor Dad Procrastination, really bad Late to Bed.. again Ended up watching About Time which was undoubtedly a sweet time-loop style movie, but it's about time I slept when I'm supposed to. Depsite going easy to start with and aiming to sleep by 1:00am (which is ridiculously late if it's daily) I still managed to fall asleep a good half hour after 1. Stupid. I need to watch what I need to in the day and cut off my screen time at night (maybe just listen to music). That should stop me spiralling into a late slumber.. Box food Had two boxes of cooked chicken breast, potatoes and green beans made; little effort but very healthy. It will fit well with the intermittent fasting I plan to start from tomorrow. I need to try and compile a list of different meal ideas to keep things exciting. Rich Dad, Poor Dad Spent an hour getting into this book by Robert Kiyosaki and Sharon Lechter: Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Quite honestly, I loved the way the book was layed out giving the scenario of what a poor dad would do and also a rich one. It made me realise how much the poor dad thought patterns and fallacies matched with my dad - he's a taxi driver. My dad is unafraid of hard work and is bright but it goes to show how the wrong mindset can limit you. He loves money but right now he's stuck in a dead end job and I've heard him say before how he'd be happy to be his own boss. This was my first self-help book as I always thought you'd need to buy these sorts of books from bookstores due to their quality and content. Never underestimate a library. Procrastination Today there was no intermittent fasting at play - I had a big breakfast and ate a dinner which was whatever my mum made. Lunch however was quite light and healthy which felt good. Overall I realised how these meals were making me feel bloated and lethargic which ended up with me going on a rolling procrastination that only ended after a black coffee and a shower. I did NO work and I feel disgusted at the time wasted. I really hope this intermittent fasting can flip this around. Habits: Sleep - I will perfect a sleep and wake routine through fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Day 1/30} DAILY Sleep by: 1:00am (Best at 10:30pm) Wake up by: 7:00am (Best at 5:00am) Hydration - I will make high water intake a lifelong habit through fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Day 1/30} DAILY Drinking 2.5 litres water (Best at 3.7 litres) Exercise - I will maintain high levels of physical activity following a schedule by fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Week 1/4} WEEKLY 1 organised gym sessions attended (Best at 3) 0 swimming sessions attended (Best at 1/1 on a Saturday morn.) 2 walks taken (Best at 7/7) Results: Sleep was a failure but my improvements are to watch things on my phone in the day and only listen to music at night. Fingers crossed I can improve. For now I'll have to repeat the day counter. Hydration was a failure but I guess I didn't make the decision to drink 2.5l as I didn't monitor anything or pay attention to my water intake. I remember well that later in the afternoon I had apple-juice piss and felt clouded in the mind. Tomorrow I'll track water religiously so water will also have to repeat the day counter Exercise is still pending, I will go to the gym this friday i.e tomorrow. One of my box meals will come in handy for post-workout. Notes: - Need to bring in NewScientist magazine - Return 4 year old library book to be able to take out Rich Dad, Poor Dad

@Siim Land @pluto Thank you both, I'm glad I made the choice to consult with you two about this! @Aamir King Logically it might make more sense but in reality the first option is what the body was made for. The people on Bear Gryll's the island could only eat food they could find, catch or forage. There was no 'eating when they were hungry'. As a result they usually averaged one meal a day, yet looked to be more active and athletic than before but of course there is a fine line between starvation and fasting. I'm going to give intermittent fasting a chance.

[30th Oct. 2016] Summary: Bad sleep, late awake Food shopping - meal plan Monopoly board Library study (ft. Gregg's coffee) Freezing walk Bad sleep, late awake Straight off, my day started slow and sluggish which is obviously a result of my messy sleep schedule coupled with an unorganised wake up routine. Went to bed at 3am (watching Planet Earth II, hah) and woke up bewildered somewhere around 10. Despite my efforts the day before to plan the timing and events of today, everything went to shit as a result of my late wake up and so I missed out on a gym workout. Fucking hell - you think you can start the next day a clean slate but lack of sleep can just domino effect to fuck the next day up too. I'm going to immediately tackle this problem through my habit formation because it's severely limiting me. Food shopping - meal plan I've decided to knuckle down on my diet and get it in order - I'm becoming seriously fat. Currently, I face a decision between intermittent fasting and frequent meals to lose fat (any advice, message me. appreciated) but it seems intermittent fasting is the better method so I intend to give that a go. Also, I plan to cook my meals in advance so it's cheaper and wastes less time! I bought a bunch of greens, healthy alternatives and generally versatile ingredients so I've got plenty of meal ideas I can use. If you've got any favourite healthy meals, be sure to tell me! Monopoly board Visiting a Smyths toy superstore, I realised just how badly I wanted a monopoly board. My first time playing the game was at my dad's friend's son's birthday (lol). The thing is my dad and his friend go way back when they used to sleep on coaches, in the same rented flat, when they were both broke and had just arrived in England. His friend however had now become a millionaire through business so I got the chance to play my first game of monopoly in a bloody mansion against a variety of successful and cheerful people of all walks of life (many of which I am sure were actualised . Something about that rags to riches atmosphere whilst I played made it feel so inspiring; so now I associate that feeling with the board game. Anyways, we went in to the store and my mum said I could have it for Christmas.. aaah well. Library study (ft. Gregg's coffee) Hammering out my homework while sipping a black americano (I like my black coffee). I seem to focus a lot better out in public - I guess I just feel socially energised or something. I'll try and do more of my work here for better productivity. Freezing walk I usually like walks because I can let my mind go free and reflect. Fuck that today because it was fucking freezing. -5 degrees, NO THANK YOU Habits: Sleep - I will perfect a sleep and wake routine through fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Day 1/30} DAILY Sleep by: 1:00am (Best at 10:30pm) Wake up by: 7:00am (Best at 5:00am) Hydration - I will make high water intake a lifelong habit through fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Day 1/30} DAILY Drinking 2.5 litres water (Best at 3.7 litres) Exercise - I will maintain high levels of physical activity following a schedule by fulfilling the following over the course of 30 days. {Week 1/4} WEEKLY 1 organised gym sessions attended (Best at 3) 0 swimming sessions attended (Best at 1/1 on a Saturday morn.) 2 walks taken (Best at 7/7) Results: Created habits today, results will start tomorrow. Wohoo! Notes: - Gonna start watching SAS: Who dares wins on Channel 4. - Need to read more of my book: Shantaram.