Butters

This morning I popped a L-theanine cause Leo said it's a great nootropic. I guess it works really well because I feel this sense of calm, focus and "spiritual" feeling I get similar to microdosing shrooms. But it also causes fear, similar to that I experience on weed, microdosing and general "spiritual" experiences I feel sometimes. I guess my ego is a frightened little girl. Maybe this feeling is only acceptable when I meditate, because then it's like I control it. But if it happens on my commute to work, it's scary. What to do with this? It's the reason I'm way too scared to take a full dose of mushrooms or try 5-MEO or regular DMT or Acid. You think this is also the reason why I fallback into TERRIBLE self-destructing patterns like shit food, porn, even getting a flu whenever my life goes really, really well? Thanks P.S. I do believe one main reason is a social anxiety I have and the way I see myself, but this really doesn't help

Why without question?

Ordered a small bottle of L-Theanine and popped my first pill this morning. The label says to take 2 pills per day on an empty stomach so I did just that. It's made me very productive, surprisingly productive. My usual self would have gone home at 4.30PM but I stayed late and was very happy with the work I got done. It also made me introspective in ways I wish I had 4 years ago. Had some great realizations about how I process information, very useful. Also got my Armodafinil in the mail today! Will be using that tomorrow! So excited. I won't be combining it with the L-Theanine so I can feel its effect properly. I also won't take the Armodafinil daily but every 2 or 3 days so I can really feel the difference. Will start with half a pill.

Does anyone remember the one Leo said helps against the flu?

The truth is, you already know that it's what you should do but you want permission to go pursue it. If robots start doing surgery en masse then third world countries are gonna lag behind on the technology for decades. Have you been in a third world hospital? It looks like a 50s insane asylum with shit equipment and poor sanitation. You can fill decades or a lifetime being a surgeon and who knows what your knowledge can offer after that. See I just pulled that story out of my ass and can think of 50 more realistic scenarios where surgery is useful but you just want permission to do it. Go do it.

Yesterday I smoked weed, like I've done so many times before, but it hit me pretty hard. I started hearing a high frequency noise that sounded very Alien that kept going on in my left ear. When I stood up, I fainted and blacked out on the coffee table but got back up. Then I walked up the stairs into my bedroom and fell on the floor and hit my head and back (I assume pretty hard). All of reality became a blur and I fainted. My housemate got me a glass of water and took care of me. This is where the experience started. First, I experienced an infinite loop that I couldn't get out of. The same image and the same words kept reappearing and all these visuals spawned out of itself, for infinity. I had to deny something. If I didn't deny that particular thing / phrase / sentence, fear would take over my reality. By constantly denying this phrase I could reach the light. It was very difficult for me to deny this phrase, whatever it was, but eventually I denied it so many times I escaped the loop. Slowly my visual field kicked back in but it was different this time. I was sitting on the floor in a meditative position and I had the deep realization that that moment was all there ever was. My whole life as a story was complete BS and all it ever was was me sitting on the floor in that position. Every human ever has only ever sat in that meditative position. I was still in childhood. I FINALLY realized the nature of reality. All it EVER was was that. Time was a complete joke ... the funniest joke I'd ever heard. I said to my housemate that I finally understood the comparison between enlightenment and an orgasm because a few minutes of this were absolutely orgasmic. So, what on EARTH should I make of this?

I don't think Leo meant that literal experience is the top of the iceberg, rather it's one of many possible gateways into having an insight into "truth" (whatever that is). Correct me if I'm wrong.

What I referred to is gut feeling. I used to make my decisions in life based on "rational thinking" but in my case that turned out to be nonsense - an excuse to ignore my gut. Looking back on many life events, I found I secretly knew important things all along but ended up rationalizing in the other (wrong) direction.

Following the intuitive thoughts, feelings that arise in moments of clarity, can I be wrong? For example, socializing more now, which I have a strong need for in my personal journey of growth, I find myself smoking a cigarette every now and again. Completely guilt free. Thoughts?

You definitely have a point and it's super difficult to know to what extend I actually recollect the experience and how much is "tainted" by theory and concepts. This is true for normal daily life experiences also. But the deep experience where I REALIZED the truth (not a thought) is hard to deny. I kept yelling "this can't be true". From what I've heard about spiritual experiences, trip reports and non-duality, this experience wasn't all that profound and as Leo said, only the tip of the iceberg. But for someone who's never done psychedelics and only had very "surface" realizations during meditation, this experience was extremely profound.

So my housemate is really into spirituality, including all sorts of paranormal phenomena and conspiracy theories. Having raised my consciousness through personal development myself, I'm often quite skeptical about the stuff he's into and I can clearly see how he's stereotypically stage Green. But it got me thinking: to what extend should we buy into spiritual "teachings" that aren't about nonduality? For example, my housemate often says he sees the numbers 1111 in every day life and he sees these as mysterious signs. See this video As someone who's trying to follow Leo's teachings, I find this sorta stuff confusing and I'm not sure if skepticism is the right response here or not. Should you dive deep into everything, even if it could be a distraction?

So since I saw Leo's mini series on Spiral dynamics I've become much more aware of my own evolution. I'm yellow in some ways and blue/orange in others. Also exploring more green and I love it. I feel I was raised pretty green and fell back into blue and orange in my early adult years. Through this work I'm touching on yellow now. Now, currently I'm working on isolated areas in my life that need fixed first before I can move onto greater life work. I pick these based on intuition and by analyzing my past self. Would you agree that certain areas need to be evolved first before I experience with psychedelics or dive deeper into yellow or even turquoise? I have difficulties with socializing for example where I have blue and orange traits and where orange and green are helpful but I'm also unbiased and orange when it comes to concepts, society and the bigger picture. Thoughts?

These ideas have definitely opened my mind to new possibilities but I can't grasp it fully. If the universe only exists in the perceiver's brain and only the now exists, how do you explain the past? Meaning, we behave in certain ways because we used those traits in evolution for millions of years. We eat healthy veggies or raw foods because our ancestors lived like that and our bodies like it. But if it's all a perception, doesn't that mean I can eat at McDonals every day if I've never learned of human evolution? I know this sounds dumb but I don't know how else to express this. I'm super frustrated at this.

Hi guys, So all my life I put happiness off into the future. Things like "Yes I'll go do fun things but I need huge business success first" were my absolute truth, it all seemed pretty rational too. Then one day I had sort of a spiritual experience. I realized that I'm really an artist (quite the difference huh) and I should re-think my life purpose! Shocker. Ever since that moment (about 2 months ago), I've been super happy! I go out, I meet girls, I enjoy the way the streets look, I enjoy my thoughts, I enjoy my job and co-workers. I've even enjoyed being angry (lol) and some other things that used to belong in the "bad" category. I finally get to enjoy the fun stuff I've always put off into this non-existent future. After 5 years of struggling so damn hard to make my business work, I've stopped clinging to it for happiness. I don't care if I wake up on time (on my off day) cause who cares? I don't care if I get things done today. I don't really care if I ever reach my long-term goals because living the life I live now is already pretty damn great and enjoyable. It's like all the personal development is coming together at this point and helping me at this stage. The life I lived, full of worry and "musts" was pretty shit compared to just living life. Anyway, I'm assuming the "itch" for success and making meaningful impact on the world will come back at some point, right? I want it to be back but in a much more mature way, not a "I must reach XYX success or else my life is failure" sorta thing. Thoughts?

I haven't used any psychedelics yet but I watch many trip reports and Terrence McKenna on YouTube. On DMT and acid, people have deep, profound experiences where they meet entities who they RECOGNIZE from before they were born as humans. They describe realizing deep truths that end up changing their lives in some profound way. But...these are DUALISTIC experiences. If they were to learn about absolute truth, some deeply profound lessons that they intuitively understand to be true, wouldn't that be a PURELY NON-DUALISTIC experience? If not, why not? If non-duality is the absolute truth, and the absolute truth is already out there, what's the point of ME (a human sitting here) discovering it? I know someone's gonna argue that dualism is part of non-dualism but that causes more confusion. And lastly: if someone can learn deep truths about ancestors (for example), what makes you think your non-dualistic experience is more legit than theirs? Wouldn't both people argue their experience is the legit one? Please explain

Just to clarify, cause I think it's easy to misinterpret: I strongly feel this is a necessary phase I'm going through in the evolution of my psyche and perhaps others can relate. Not caring may seem like a mistake or diluted, but mostly it's not caring for petty shit. I'm 90% sure in the end I'll be able to contribute much more towards this world with a fresh outlook, for which this phase is necessary. What does confuse me is that people always say you need discipline and structure to reach success and happiness. I killed most of that that structure (for now) and I'm more inspired and happier than before. That's confusing...

I don't understand. I was really on purpose, doing the stuff I'm supposed to, inspiring people, working on myself and others. Full of energy and motivation, full of positivity. Then I got sick Wednesday, which I don't understand because I've been eating healthy for the last 2 or 3 weeks according to Leo's video. Now all of a sudden my progress is gone and I'm back to old habits like blaming other people and complaining and being frustrated. How does that work?

When I tried this I'd just 'sleepwalk' to it, turn it off then go back to sleep

Do remember that in some, if not most cases, not waking up in the morning is a larger motivational issue. You wouldn't oversleep for that epic holiday but you would for work. Once you get more on-track with your life purpose and comfortable being who you are, waking up shouldn't be an issue.

I've always been extremely introverted and lone-wolfing this life, consciously designing it ever since I discovered self-help. I'm still working on everything, but throughout this journey I've created: A job that works for me A social circle that works for me Hobbies and interests that work for me Business and growth in this area that works for me A mild spiritual interest that works for me It's all pretty selfish. Self-help has definitely pulled me out of a depression and created a pretty neat life that still in an upward spiral, but this bugs me. Has anyone been able to somehow break out of homeostasis and set aside the self agenda on a regular basis? I'm motivated to do so only from a higher consciousness, not AT ALL from lower consciousness.

What's up awesome people I'm looking for someone to connect with; share ideas, motivate each other, the works. I'm a 27 year old guy and I want to become a comedian. I've been living in Asia for the past 3 years and have set the goal to move to Australia next year, together with my girlfriend. I am growing my online business that will eventually give us enough passive income to spend our time more freely. Similar story? Let's get in touch! Only looking for highly motivated, on-track people ... I'm not your therapist.