Butters

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Everything posted by Butters

  1. @Danioover9000 Thank you for the info I don't feel ready for that as I'm loving my life more every day. Do I wait until more suffering comes? I'm still working on my lower chakras and have barely scratched the surface of opening my heart chakra.
  2. Did some WHM breathing last night but went a little longer than usual. At some point I slowed time down a bit and got so concentrated on the breath which created a oneness. Although I wasn't totally surprised by it, I did get a bit scared. In your experience is it dangerous to breathe for long on your own? Is it okay to lose conscious control and keep going? My heart wasn't open either, is it better to do some heart chakra work first? Do you set a mantra? Thanks!
  3. Here's a chain of events: Being more selfless, doing good Seeing myself as someone doing good Seeing myself seeing myself as doing good Warning my lower self about the dangers of spiritual ego Feeling weird about it Ego backlash Negative survival threatening event Feeling scared of my own karma Contemplating doing more good out of fear Realizing all this is bullshit Now what?
  4. I surprised myself today and had a big falling out with my dad over the phone. I'd love to get another opinion on this matter but don't really have anyone to talk to, but I'd really appreciate any input. A little backstory: After my mom divorced him when I was 11, my dad and I lived together until I was 18. It wasn't good. My dad was very emotionally unavailable, had no emotional control and no ability to empathize. As a young boy I needed structure and a father figure but his abilities were more like a child's. This would trigger me so much that I'd hit him and throw stuff, I'd get so damn angry, just trying to get some understanding, some reaction. He'd just take it. He would behave like the victim, which is a running theme throughout his life. At the time he was addicted to alcohol as well, and would come into my room at 2AM to tell me he loves me. He would go through his phone contact list while drunk and call all these people telling them all these very inappropriate emotional things. Needless to say he has pushed everyone away in his life. He never took responsibility for this. He's the good guy, he's the victim. After all "his heart's in the right place" which in his view of the world is all that matters. Now skip ahead. I'm an adult, he's 69 years old and completely alone with no friends or social circle. We get along on a certain level, but whenever there's something I wanna tell him or I get my feelings hurt, he'll laugh at it, lie about something or blame something else. ANYTHING to change the subject. He has no ability or willingness to introspect and will immediately turn on me whenever I have feedback or criticism on his behavior. I understand that he must have had some huge trauma as a kid which caused him to be so emotionally unavailable. I think he was sexually abused, which he told me sometimes when drunk when I was like 13 years old, which is of course very inappropriate. He's also old now and much cognitive decline over the years. I also understand that I will never get him to introspect or make any real attempt at emphasizing. But that doesn't take away the fact that his attitude is very disrespectful and hurtful. Preserving some parts of his ego is more important to him than the relationship with his wife (my mom) or even with me. It's like trying to carve up a diamond with a potato knife. Now although the life lesson "the ego can be very blunt" is super interesting and dandy, it's not really helping me right now. Part of me wants to break all contact with him for all the bullshit, but I can also see how he's tried his best in life but only if I view him as sorta "cognitively handicapped". Thinking about it now I can come up with another turnaround: maybe I secretly still want him to understand me, and I'm projecting my own trauma now. But whatever man, I'm just sick and tired of this shit. Any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you.
  5. Thank you all very much for your kind and constructive replies, I really appreciate it.
  6. Forget about this holding the door open shit, especially if you're a young guy it just make you look goofy. Mainly my advice would be to create a life for yourself that you love and respect. With that and some self-love and confidence in your own abilities, you'll emit a type of swagger or confidence that implies the rest. Aim for something in between Ice Cube and Barack Obama. Don't take yourself too seriously but take your work and life purpose seriously. Have very clear personal boundaries. Be the king of your empire. Be a fucking gangster. Good luck
  7. It may not be considered a nootropic but I started microdosing acid a few months ago and it's been absolutely wonderful. It has really helped me grow my consciousness in combination with building my business and creating my dream life. It is relatively inexpensive and lasts throughout the day. Combined with N-A-C the effects are even better for me, creating amazing flowstates where I'm completely out of my head, able to look at reality with some detachment from ego. The only thing with N-A-C is that you build up tolerance and should probably be cycled on and off for a few months at a time. You might build up a slight tolerance for LSD but it will always work. At this moment my stack looks something like this: Day 1: Morning: microdose MD, fish oil, magnesium, vitamin D3 and a complex multivitamin Night: 5-htp, magnesium Day 2: Morning: NALT, fish oil, magnesium, vitamin D3 and a complex multivitamin Night: 5-htp, magnesium Pretty straightforward and inexpensive. As my consciousness grows, it's easier for me to feel my body-mind connection and know when to work out, when to eat low/high carb, do yoga, meditate, take rest and so on.
  8. I made an interesting discovery today. All my life I've been addicted to 2 things; masturbation and food. I always thought it was because I've been doing this since my teenage years to cope with stress. That's partially true, but not really helpful. Leo has an interesting video about addiction where he says something like "all addiction is the same and is a denial of the present moment". Also interesting, and a little helpful. But what if my 2 addictions are actually related? When I withhold from PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm) for a while, I don't feel like overeating at all. I feel confident, healthy, strong and I enjoy healthy eating and sports. When I give in to the PMO cycle, I feel lazy, lethargic and the urge to dabble in other addictions. My best theory is that PMO depletes dopamine. Lower dopamine makes me seek external stimulus from food and Netflix, while higher dopamine makes me content just the way it is. Not much need for external stimulus. I draw power from within. They're related! I never thought of it this way. Dave Asprey released an interesting podcast episode about orgasms. His guest John Gray says that women who masturbate a few hours a day are much more likely to be overweight. I have no idea if this is true or not but it just made sense to me today. I also once heard that the frequency at which you need to release depends on age. In your teens, you can release daily, in your twenties a few times a week, in your thirties once a week only and in your sixties once a moth or something. I'm in my thirties so releasing more than once a week is not optimal for my energy levels. After 6, 7 days of no orgasm, a man's testosterone doubles and I do notice this very clearly. Still have to deal with slip-ups, but meditation and being present helps. Anyway thought I'd share this, maybe it's helpful to someone else. TLDR: Orgasms deplete dopamine. On lower dopamine I seek external stimulus like food. On higher dopamine, I'm usually more content with the way things are without needing much external stimulus.
  9. I've lived through so many different things, sometimes it feels like I've lived 10 lives in 1 lifetime. And I'm only 30! Why do some people stay within the bounds of their own small world, while others go explore different lifestyles, different cultures, different class? We're put on earth to explore our own lives, but why would God create such large amounts of mediocre masses? Did I already live through boring shit 100s of times and now it's time for this? Leo knows what I'm talking about, he's done it too. Are my interests based on stuff I never got to do in past lives? Is there a way to figure this out? Ayahuasca?
  10. Yeah but why am I living this specific perspective?
  11. For Shopify and e-commerce, a channel named Wholesale Ted is solid. She explains everything in an easy to understand way. Be very careful with YouTube and courses though. It is filled with bullshit artists who just want to sell their stupid course. For general marketing advice I used to listen to old Dan Kennedy tapes. He talks about direct mail marketing but the psychology behind it always applies.
  12. It's an idea worth researching. I see a few companies pop up now that offer microdosing products here in the Netherlands. That's totally different from a retreat though, but it's baby steps in the right direction. Listen to the advice given here, Leo raised some fair points. Is there a way we can follow your progress?
  13. How much do you take and what do you combine it with? I find half a pill of modafinil to be very subtle.
  14. That's a great way to rephrase it. There's probably vastly more depth, fascination, wonder and love within each individual person than I currently give credit for. I'm pretty sure I'm already living my life purpose, I just wonder WHY and specifically how it fits into the big picture.
  15. This just popped up on Reddit. If you're into nootropics, read it! [PSA bomb] Most people here need to be far more critical, skeptical, and cautious than they are.
  16. In the near future washing machines will all be connected to the internet. They won't be too pleased when they find this thread, be careful.
  17. Here's a bit of an unusual question: how do you know if a nootropic or stack promotes both productivity and consciousness? I started wondering this after taking a pre-packed blend that contains aniracitam, noopept, a high dose of caffeine among other things. Loved the first day but the second was a fucking nightmare and very low consciousness. I stopped fucking with racetams. I see the appeal of building an all-natural stack but at the same time modafinil has been extremely useful for me. Also wondering what your favorite stacks are combined with a micro or macro dose of shrooms or LSD? ?
  18. I love entrepreneurship. I love researching and building an online business. But the moment I have to promote any of my businesses, I often find myself fleeing and radically wanting to change business model, usually to something where I don't have to interact with customers. This has been crippling. I've struggled with this so hard for many years now. I just realized what this is though: Fear of being criticized Fear of being laughed at Fear of being made fun of Suddenly I recalled a few memories from childhood where I had to present something to class and they all laughed at me. This happened very often I think. Guess that's part of the reason I became a comedian. Anyhow, I want to turn this fear and "flight" reaction into an obsession / deep love for marketing and interacting with customers. I've made plenty of radical shifts in my life and I know I can turn this "trauma" into a massive strength right now. So I was wondering if there's any resources on this specific issue, or if anyone knows of a method that deals specifically with turning a phobia into an obsession. I've already added "I love marketing my business" to my affirmations but that doesn't quite cut it for this one. Thanks :-)
  19. Just started watching this after about 0.5g of mushrooms. Pretty deep, highly recommended. I think it's about meditation and consciousness but I don't know what later episodes are about. Loved this quote right away "Health is about accepting and perceiving and dealing with reality on reality's terms." It's called The Midnight Gospel
  20. So all the episodes have a theme, the first one is about psychedelics and the second about death. I think this is a pretty stage Turquoise show, what you think? Very relaxing and soothing to watch, it's not what you think.
  21. All the answers are within, so what's the point of wasting billions on space travel? Thoughts?
  22. Not sure how I feel about this...
  23. First and foremost: I've been making fantastic progress over the past few years. If you are doing personal development and are coming from an unhappy place, just know it takes time and is absolutely worth it. Over these past few years, my baseline happiness has seriously increased and in certain areas the best of my todays really are the worst of my tomorrows. That being said, I still seem to follow a swinging pattern. Earlier this week I had some amazing insights that grounded me into my life purpose even deeper than before. Thought and action came together beautifully, whereas usually I'm stuck in thinking. I was following my heart and my balls and it felt fantastic. Really Butters? Tell us more. I wasn't living for myself alright. I woke up thinking: what can I do to best serve the world today? For these last two days I can really feel regression. Not being aligned as much, and my purpose reads like WORDS but earlier this week I could FEEL it, more than just words. I'll continue to work on my shit, but wonder if there's a way to maintain peak states. Or we not supposed to do that as humans? We supposed to continue suffering?
  24. I like that man, thanks for sharing. Maybe I'll start treating the weekend like a cut off point like that. Being self-employed I need that structure, but at the same time can't stand structure.
  25. Great energy and I like your hoodie.