Nahm

What was it?

@Ingit Love you. 43. Feels like 20, friends feel 60. Observe this day man. You will see the beauty. Love just to love. Not to get. Just to love. ❤️ If you struggle, make a case, like a lawyer, on why it is logical to be serious, to see negatively. You’ll be laughing if you try hard enough. Can’t be done. It will never make sense.

@Revolutionary Think If it helps ya...I got fired from my first job too. Epic fail. For stealing beer. (14) lol. Who hires a 14 yr old in a beer store? Man we had some parties. Wouldn’t change a thing.

@Tistepiste I love you too. You got a great big heart. Never change that. ❤️

When I was 22, my thinking was fucked too. I was suicidal. So glad I tried therapy, medicine, meditation, reading, and patience. I never would have guessed how unbelievable my life was later to be. Don’t quit on yourself. Good that you acknowledge your programming is where your freedom from this is. Keep doing things to help yourself, it all adds up. Don’t quit. Why save yourself? You don’t know what Joy is yet. You save yourself, and you will be filled with a Joy that is presently incomprehensible. That joy will bring people into your life who are where you are right now, and when you talk to them, the unseeable, intangible, ineffable power of Love will consume you and they will feel your conviction. They will see the truth in what you did, what you learned, and they will believe they can do it too, and then they will, and one day they will tell someone else. In this you change yourself, and you change the world. Just don’t quit now, this is just the hard part, the ticket to get in. It will pass.

@Ingit Cause it enables something...an addiction, something unhealthy like junk food / sugar, maybe laziness, being antisocial, and or keeps you from facing a fear that you want to work through like a past trauma or low self esteem. Could also simply be conditioning that you haven’t realized is conditioning. For example, I grew up in a house with an angry father - loving, non abusive, but chronic daily anger and stress that he felt was from work, so from 15 to around 21 - I was very angry, and introverted, so manic depressive. Then I started to realize not every dad was like that, not every job means stress. That all made me an incredibly hard worker, because my purpose had been carved out - it was to work myself out of having to work, and to see if it was possible to live without stress & anger. Started working at 13. Understood what the hell was going on with me around 21. He gave me the perfect gift in this way. Later, I paid off his house, bought him a car and paid for health insurance, so he could retire. I introduced him to meditation, and we talk about body / mind, healthy eating & thinking. Also because you’re young and that shit is hard. So probably someone in your household did considerable negative thinking. You can take that baton, and keep it going, or you can realize the gift - and really start waking up.

@ChadT aw damn it you’re right.

@tsuki Thanks. Yes.

@ChadT “The Chad”....? Weird Science...? Nuthin? Tough crowd.

@Martin123 Sweet. @Saumaya Rogan Josh??

@tashawoodfall What’d ya learn about yourself?

Uh uh. No sir. That is (and I apologize for the dualistic word) incorrect. You are the One you speak of. There is nothing small about you. ??

@ChadT The more real a video game appears, especially w virtual reality goggles & headphones, the better it is, right? Well look around you right now. That’s literally what you’re doing, and you’re doing it so well, you actually believe you’re the Chad in it, and Uber convinced it & the Chad are real. Who could blame you. It’s perfectly convincing, perfectly consistently ‘material’. If you’re feelin open minded to “paranormal”, maybe try reiki, visit a few mediums & psychics, try some psychedelics.

@Ingit Thanks. Careful ‘dividing’ yourself. There’s one you. The more you take ownership, the easier things get.

Stop caring about being understood. Then what anybody does or says, even to you, is seen as of them, not you. All you have is what you say and do. That’s it. Don’t need to concern yourself with what others do and say. Your roommates never kept you down. You kept you down by caring about what they said. They, and the rest of us, were doing their best with what consciousness we have. There is a momentum that builds through the practice of meditation of detachment, leaving you less reactive, less intense, less tension, a whole lot less hyper focused on what people say, and even & especially thoughts. I don’t understand that last part. But what I think you have going on is the pressure to know and only zooming in. I’m betting there’s a lot of pressure to know the information that will be on tests and the finals. I believe you, that you study hard and want to learn and succeed. You’re exceptionally practiced with this. But I don’t know if you’ve discovered the other half of the game, the zooming out; letting all that information go - and don’t worry, it’s a practice, all that you’ve learned will still be there when you need it. I’m talking about getting out of that closet sized living, into nature, and being alone for days. I’m talking about allowing your mind to zoom out of the intense finite things you’re focusing on daily for school. Zooming out is not-knowing, having fun, laughing, doing some things you enjoy simply for the enjoyment of doing them. Also consider that the majority of your current life ongoings revolve around learning & knowing. When you then approach existentialism with that mindset, you’re in for a rough ride. Can you take a few deep breathes, relax every muscle from head to toe, and just sit, and not-know. Try it for 5 or 10 minutes. Just say, “I don’t know and that’s fine... I am and that is enough”. Maybe you’re soooo deep in learning & knowing....that you’re a little “stuck” on the thought about ‘is this life real or not’. Real & not real are the center piece of duality (this and that...this or that). Be at peace in understanding that is the limit of the brain (duality), and you have reached it. Well done. There’s more to learn of course, always will be, but for that ‘real or not real’ question - that’s not a “learn” thing, that is a “Be” thing. Also, when I was “stuck” on that, this helped me.... do some “research” (Youtube, google, etc) on Superposition. It’ll help loosen up your mind, which is holding that things must be real or unreal, real life or unreal life. (I use quotes for “stuck”, cause you’re not really stuck, you just have a natural desire to learn and understand. Anyone who faults you for that, is stuck) One more thing...life is hard af from about 15 to 25. You’re going to be great at everything you set your mind to. I’m excited for you. Learn that letting something go is an art of living, and as important as learning. Practice zooming in (studying specific stuff) and zooming out (way more general “enjoying life” state). I think you’ve been grinding away without a retreat (a big ol zoom out, just for you). RETREAT BRO!

@Ingit Why is questioning the true nature of things negative? When did you first start this negative association? If it is real - then what? What comes to mind for you? If it’s not real - then what? What comes to mind for you? Let’s get to the bottom of this / be done with it. It’s not serving you anymore.

Cause to live is a game, but if you’ve got it backwards it’s evil, and when the I is gone, there’s a big O! And now it’s love.

Everything is a distraction from what you are until everything is what you are. 10 days alone in nature can change everything. Maybe some of this is helpful too...

KIck it up to twice a day. You’re progressing. You’ll see the answer. Thoughts are like cars on the road, just passing, they’re not yours.

@saint_charming7 ? The breathing is illusionary too. Trust homeostasis. Explore.

“Butters” I love it!

Yes. Keep going. Become aware of this. Hurts, then it’s sweet, for the long haul.

@blazed How would you help someone else to realize all their problems where rooted in their own attitude?

@Lorcan Me too.