Nahm

Everyone’s as real as you, and yes, all that is, is ‘consciousness or field of awareness’. And yet, nonduality isn’t a paradigm. Nonduality just means not two. So it doesn’t define, point to, or even imply what is, only what isn’t. Duality, is a paradigm. And also not. If you look at your hand and cover up your palm, it looks like five separate fingers. If you uncover your palm, they’re really all one. Don’t believe what you see. Check direct experience to verify these thoughts / inquiries. Think the thought whatever it is, then the opposite… see if anything changes at all. If thoughts don’t seem to make any difference, see about meditation. ‘Empty your cup’. Don’t believe what you think.

@SQAAD Expressing, questioning, inspecting, understanding, and liberating, like you are, is the healthiest course of action anyone could take imo.

I find this to be the case in direct experience. It’s not a concept or translation, it’s a linguistic communication, a pointing. With respect, I realize this ‘flies in the face’ of many teachers, but, there is literally no such thing as fear. One makes it up and believes it, and interprets experience accordingly, or one doesn’t. The fear would be guidance in regard to the thought. Those things aren’t happening in direct experience. The thought is. Also, a belief is. The belief is that the things you mentioned happened in a past. That also is not indicative of direct experience. In accordance with direct experience there is no evidence whatsoever that there is a past or anything that ever happened. That belief is in actuality, a thought arising, now. Like anything & everything else.

Next time just say no. Rather than the universe is against you. Likewise, the universe isn’t giving anxiety. Inspect the actuality of anxiety, get to the bottom of what it is, how it functions, etc. If you want, say no. You didn’t have to. It’s nice, and maybe you wanted to, but you didn’t have to. The universe is good.

@diamondpenguin Yes I agree. But not just in regard to woman, in regard to everything desired. That ‘one thing’ is simply - not suppressing emotions. Listening instead. Via conjecture, there are now ‘two things’, with the second being not listening to someone else who is doing so and being convinced by them to do the same thing.

What I’m saying about suffering, and inspecting direct experience, and misinterpretation is applicable to bringing clarity to that misinterpretation, of that experience. In direct experience I do not find a ‘my mind’, or a ‘my memories’. I find only direct awareness of thought, perception, and sensation. In direct experience, any notion of ‘losing’, or ‘losing something’, is a thought, and is not actually some thing, which could be lost. In direct experience, fear is emotion, and is guidance, and ‘tells me’ that the thought I’m focusing on (losing my mind) is discordant, or, not indicative of what is true and actual. Are you able to see how this misinterpretation was projected onto others, via depression, horror, etc? That ‘a line’ was crossed, so to speak, away from the actuality of direct experience, and into projecting a ‘knowing’ of the direct experience of others. In direct experience, depression is a thought, and is not sensation or perception. Depression is not an emotion, and turning to emotion, which is guidance, would have been ‘telling me so’ the entire time. Are you able to see what I’m saying here? Without believing the thought ‘my mind’ (as if there is this thing ‘my mind’), and recognizing that it is a thought… the fear would be ‘telling you’ - that thought isn’t true. The potential realization could have been, and still could be right now, that one is that which is appearing as ‘my mind’… and thus one can not actually lose, oneself. Do you also see how that is conjecture? As in, the misinterpretation is not something that you created, or came up with, but is a misinterpretation that you learned, which arose upon experiencing the trip? Likewise, do you see how sharing, and thus supporting, what doesn’t feel good to you, does not lead to transcending suffering? Do you see the role projecting one’s own discord, vs inspecting & understanding direct experience plays here? As in, one can not focus enough on suffering to feel better, or help anyone else…?

Transcending suffering requires scrutiny of direct experience. There is no direct experience of on behalf of a lot of people. You believe you know, but don’t actually know, what anyone’s experience of reality is like. Of course one can assume, but one does not actually know. That is precisely what I’m saying, that ‘brutal’ and ‘horrifically brutal’ are thoughts, interpretation. I’m not suggesting you are being dishonest with yourself. I am saying there is not a you and a yourself. Honesty, when one is scrutinizing, is the scrutinizing of one’s direct experience, and the weeding out of assumptions, misinterpretations of one’s own direct experience, conditioning, beliefs, etc. I am not suggesting to ‘fake’ that everything is good. To be clear, I am saying there is only good. Reality=good. There is no good & bad, and that is why judgement is felt as discord with the truth, or what is actual and true. I am not saying it is good to chop people’s arms off. I am saying that is not happening in your direct experience, and the discord felt therefore is of the thought, and not of what’s happening. I am saying this because it is from this place that one indeed does something to help. One suffering, misinterpreting one’s own direct experience, is not one who is able, willing, and readily helping.

In the sense it is not resonating with you, no it is not ‘normal’, and emotion tells you so. It’s trying to be someone or someway you’re not, which of course is creating a false discordant self image, a facade, to essentially trick her to acquire sex, which of course sets the stage of a potential relationship (which is what you really want) from a foundation of deception, typically followed by a rollercoaster of trust issues. Does the thought ‘a fear of being lovable’ really, actually, make any sense to you? I suggest you are presently, already loved, and emotion tells you so. Maybe you’re in tune with your conscience, do not desire to trick anyone just to get yourself laid, and naturally want to come clean on the deception, for the sake of starting a relationship in honesty. Self esteem is not needed to ‘fix’ this, simply listening to how you feel and understanding emotions (fear) is more than ample. Self esteem is like the helium in a balloon, without discord held upon it, it naturally arises. Like how a cork, once let go, naturally floats. I would make a dreamboard and fill it with everything you want to experience in life, and utilize and understand the emotional scale. This clears out misunderstandings of emotion, and self referential beliefs along with it, and also gives you plenty of high vibration so to speak, and thus plenty of things to naturally talk about on dates and in relationships. ‘Feeling the need to be understood’… ‘I need to be understood’ is a thought. Not a feeling. The thought feels discordant because you don’t need to be understood. Meaning arises within each of us. No one actually ever understands an other. I suspect what you actually desire is to understand yourself so to speak, as in, understanding you are receiving emotional guidance in regard to discordant & aligned thoughts, in regard to what you actually want.

I remember when spirituality was the inspection of direct experience, of what is true & actual, and resonates profoundly. Seems to have become an adherence to conjecture, no?

@Vzdoh @Yarco I appreciate the feedback, thanks. Also, if you have any questions feel free. ?

@SQAAD Because you’re saying pain & suffering are necessarily, and sharing what doesn’t resonate with you. If you are complaining, then yes also that.

@Endangered-EGO It’s relaxing. Deep stomach breaths. You gotta let go and see for yourself it arises. The ‘torture’ is the resistance of attempting to control & feel better, by ‘getting out of it’, fighting something etc. Relax, let the thoughts come & go. Let the thoughts about ‘the knowledges of suffering’ and the ‘recycling’ go. Relax just to relax.

@Vzdoh I didn’t say anything about getting rich. What part seems riddlerish?

I agree, and I’m saying that is conjecture from conditioning.

@VeganAwake ?? ??

@Endangered-EGO It is all denial. ? The “way out” of denial is not to be in, denial. To not be in denial is to realize you’re in denial.

That’s conjecture from conditioning.

You say “I understand…” and then reveal you clearly don’t.

It’s a terrible master.

Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting a compromise with her. I’m suggesting honestly, expression & communication. “Angsty desires” is a conceptual cover up, aversion, like “feeling of freedom”. You’re already free, and will remain free, in any and all cases. The concept of ‘being with who you want to be with = not being free’ is misleading. You’re free to be with her or not. That’s not gonna change.

I hold seven financial licenses. What you want is called residual income. Why you want it is for the ideal balance of time & money. Why you miss it is an unwillingness to notice conflicting views, even when someone points this out for you. You say you already know what people will say, and tell others not to assume, as one example. Everything you’re talking about on this thread is to uphold self image, it’s not what you really want. If you make a dreamboard you will discover and have, everything you really actually want. That is already the case, but remains unseen. Dreamboard makes it effortless, and very easy to see. Folks keep telling you it’s all related because it’s all related. Understanding the emotions you’re experiencing, specifically jealousy, you’d have swiftly moved from helping rich people get richer, to being rich.

Sounds like you want an open relationship. There’s billions of options. She might be ideal, but you won’t know unless you express and communicate what you want, and allow her to do the same. In any case, only then you’ll know, and she’ll know, and you’ll no longer experience the discordant thoughts, emotional suppression and the veiling via fragmentation of ‘sides’, ‘parts’, ‘neglect’, and ‘it pulling you away’, etc. None of that is any more than the thoughts and rumination of a discordant conscience. Honesty is the way to knowing more acutely what you really want. Not playing games with yourself and or her. If she is loving you and placating you while what she is really wanting is to sleep with other guys, wouldn’t it be decent of her to be honest with you? To not lead you on, manipulate you with dishonesty? Would it feel aligned to afford her the same honesty and respect that you so badly desire to give to yourself so to speak? The recognition there’s no problem. You’re focusing on what you don’t want; “not being…”… blah blah blah, whatever. Exactly like you - no one cares about what you don’t want. Not her, not me, not even you, and certainly not source. Nothing changes or is created in your focusing on what you don’t want. By focusing on what you do want, and understanding the emotions you are experiencing, you can most definitely have what you want. It might not however, be what she wants. Find out. Also, you haven’t experienced a ‘committed relationship’ yet. When you falsely believe you have, and thus are making a comparison, notice it’s all projection. It’s an idea, and not the actual experience. Maybe, that actual experience, is actually, what you want. Up to you to find out. A perspective I can offer, make of it what you will. There is a major difference generationally speaking in regard to sex. For me, around your age, it was impulse, and not a belief in need. Same impulse, just no justification and rationalization of it. Simply in sitting and relaxing, the impulse like any other comes & goes, and one is free of it. It still comes & goes, but is experienced as such. Not as a need. In the current online marketing culture, you are being sold the concept that sex is a need, by people who make money being the answer to fulfilling that need. Some of these teachers are knowing they are being dishonest, and some of them are yet to explore and release the conditioning, such that they can’t sit and relax for ten minutes and see that impulse comes & goes. If you want to, you can experience that for yourself, and see how incredibly easy and simple this matter really is.

Notice the ‘how you create your reality’ in the title, then listen.

Spot conflicting statements.

By doing nothing. I’m already the gravity.