Nahm

Transcending suffering requires scrutiny of direct experience. There is no direct experience of on behalf of a lot of people. You believe you know, but don’t actually know, what anyone’s experience of reality is like. Of course one can assume, but one does not actually know. That is precisely what I’m saying, that ‘brutal’ and ‘horrifically brutal’ are thoughts, interpretation. I’m not suggesting you are being dishonest with yourself. I am saying there is not a you and a yourself. Honesty, when one is scrutinizing, is the scrutinizing of one’s direct experience, and the weeding out of assumptions, misinterpretations of one’s own direct experience, conditioning, beliefs, etc. I am not suggesting to ‘fake’ that everything is good. To be clear, I am saying there is only good. Reality=good. There is no good & bad, and that is why judgement is felt as discord with the truth, or what is actual and true. I am not saying it is good to chop people’s arms off. I am saying that is not happening in your direct experience, and the discord felt therefore is of the thought, and not of what’s happening. I am saying this because it is from this place that one indeed does something to help. One suffering, misinterpreting one’s own direct experience, is not one who is able, willing, and readily helping.

In the sense it is not resonating with you, no it is not ‘normal’, and emotion tells you so. It’s trying to be someone or someway you’re not, which of course is creating a false discordant self image, a facade, to essentially trick her to acquire sex, which of course sets the stage of a potential relationship (which is what you really want) from a foundation of deception, typically followed by a rollercoaster of trust issues. Does the thought ‘a fear of being lovable’ really, actually, make any sense to you? I suggest you are presently, already loved, and emotion tells you so. Maybe you’re in tune with your conscience, do not desire to trick anyone just to get yourself laid, and naturally want to come clean on the deception, for the sake of starting a relationship in honesty. Self esteem is not needed to ‘fix’ this, simply listening to how you feel and understanding emotions (fear) is more than ample. Self esteem is like the helium in a balloon, without discord held upon it, it naturally arises. Like how a cork, once let go, naturally floats. I would make a dreamboard and fill it with everything you want to experience in life, and utilize and understand the emotional scale. This clears out misunderstandings of emotion, and self referential beliefs along with it, and also gives you plenty of high vibration so to speak, and thus plenty of things to naturally talk about on dates and in relationships. ‘Feeling the need to be understood’… ‘I need to be understood’ is a thought. Not a feeling. The thought feels discordant because you don’t need to be understood. Meaning arises within each of us. No one actually ever understands an other. I suspect what you actually desire is to understand yourself so to speak, as in, understanding you are receiving emotional guidance in regard to discordant & aligned thoughts, in regard to what you actually want.

I remember when spirituality was the inspection of direct experience, of what is true & actual, and resonates profoundly. Seems to have become an adherence to conjecture, no?

@Vzdoh @Yarco I appreciate the feedback, thanks. Also, if you have any questions feel free. ?

@SQAAD Because you’re saying pain & suffering are necessarily, and sharing what doesn’t resonate with you. If you are complaining, then yes also that.

@Endangered-EGO It’s relaxing. Deep stomach breaths. You gotta let go and see for yourself it arises. The ‘torture’ is the resistance of attempting to control & feel better, by ‘getting out of it’, fighting something etc. Relax, let the thoughts come & go. Let the thoughts about ‘the knowledges of suffering’ and the ‘recycling’ go. Relax just to relax.

@Vzdoh I didn’t say anything about getting rich. What part seems riddlerish?

I agree, and I’m saying that is conjecture from conditioning.

@VeganAwake ?? ??

@Endangered-EGO It is all denial. ? The “way out” of denial is not to be in, denial. To not be in denial is to realize you’re in denial.

That’s conjecture from conditioning.

You say “I understand…” and then reveal you clearly don’t.

It’s a terrible master.

Just to be clear, I’m not suggesting a compromise with her. I’m suggesting honestly, expression & communication. “Angsty desires” is a conceptual cover up, aversion, like “feeling of freedom”. You’re already free, and will remain free, in any and all cases. The concept of ‘being with who you want to be with = not being free’ is misleading. You’re free to be with her or not. That’s not gonna change.

I hold seven financial licenses. What you want is called residual income. Why you want it is for the ideal balance of time & money. Why you miss it is an unwillingness to notice conflicting views, even when someone points this out for you. You say you already know what people will say, and tell others not to assume, as one example. Everything you’re talking about on this thread is to uphold self image, it’s not what you really want. If you make a dreamboard you will discover and have, everything you really actually want. That is already the case, but remains unseen. Dreamboard makes it effortless, and very easy to see. Folks keep telling you it’s all related because it’s all related. Understanding the emotions you’re experiencing, specifically jealousy, you’d have swiftly moved from helping rich people get richer, to being rich.

Sounds like you want an open relationship. There’s billions of options. She might be ideal, but you won’t know unless you express and communicate what you want, and allow her to do the same. In any case, only then you’ll know, and she’ll know, and you’ll no longer experience the discordant thoughts, emotional suppression and the veiling via fragmentation of ‘sides’, ‘parts’, ‘neglect’, and ‘it pulling you away’, etc. None of that is any more than the thoughts and rumination of a discordant conscience. Honesty is the way to knowing more acutely what you really want. Not playing games with yourself and or her. If she is loving you and placating you while what she is really wanting is to sleep with other guys, wouldn’t it be decent of her to be honest with you? To not lead you on, manipulate you with dishonesty? Would it feel aligned to afford her the same honesty and respect that you so badly desire to give to yourself so to speak? The recognition there’s no problem. You’re focusing on what you don’t want; “not being…”… blah blah blah, whatever. Exactly like you - no one cares about what you don’t want. Not her, not me, not even you, and certainly not source. Nothing changes or is created in your focusing on what you don’t want. By focusing on what you do want, and understanding the emotions you are experiencing, you can most definitely have what you want. It might not however, be what she wants. Find out. Also, you haven’t experienced a ‘committed relationship’ yet. When you falsely believe you have, and thus are making a comparison, notice it’s all projection. It’s an idea, and not the actual experience. Maybe, that actual experience, is actually, what you want. Up to you to find out. A perspective I can offer, make of it what you will. There is a major difference generationally speaking in regard to sex. For me, around your age, it was impulse, and not a belief in need. Same impulse, just no justification and rationalization of it. Simply in sitting and relaxing, the impulse like any other comes & goes, and one is free of it. It still comes & goes, but is experienced as such. Not as a need. In the current online marketing culture, you are being sold the concept that sex is a need, by people who make money being the answer to fulfilling that need. Some of these teachers are knowing they are being dishonest, and some of them are yet to explore and release the conditioning, such that they can’t sit and relax for ten minutes and see that impulse comes & goes. If you want to, you can experience that for yourself, and see how incredibly easy and simple this matter really is.

Notice the ‘how you create your reality’ in the title, then listen.

Spot conflicting statements.

By doing nothing. I’m already the gravity.

It’s not failure, it’s what playing games feels like. Question the lens, not the results, not yourself. When you’re playing games, it’s only ever with yourself. That is indeed discordant, and to continue believing it’s because of others is indeed exhausting. Understand the emotions you’re experiencing, and why depression is not an emotion. Notice, acknowledge, self referential thoughts, so you can notice they aren’t true. Be honest about what you’re experiencing. If you just want girls around for sex, there are escorts. Maybe, sex isn’t actually what you want. Maybe it’s what you think you want. Make a dreamboard. Write what you actually want. You’re using others and sex like one uses a substance or fast food etc to feel better. Using others to make yourself feel better is manipulation by aversion and is thus of course indeed discordant, and contrary to what you actually want. It is by relinquishing control and trusting in the universe (not other people) that what you want can be received. ‘Sexual needs’ is thought attachment. Are you having sex right now? No. Are you fine… breathing, functioning, etc? Yes. Believing your sexual needs must be met by others is incredible arrogance and indeed discordant. It doesn’t feel very good to objectify people, to reduce them to things which exist to meet your needs. Let the focus on sex go. Let focusing on that you need to try and or improve go. Notice you’re already experiencing ‘the draining of energy’, and thus it is related to the thoughts, and not the actual date (you aren’t typing this on a date). Don’t expect, anticipate, or think about sex at all. There’s too much momentum of discord around the notion. Give it (ruminating on sex) a rest for a month or so altogether (but go on dates if you want to, for the fun of it). Think of her like a person just like you, with feeling, emotions, ideas, dreams, desires, interests, funny stories from her past which could be shared & laughed about, etc. Feel the connection in relating. Fill your dreamboard up so you easily have things to talk about which are exciting and interesting for you. She’ll resonate with that naturally. Aim to have fun. If sex happens, it happens. Let it be a natural byproduct of you, having fun, being you, experiencing what you’ve written on your board. She might want to have fun being her, with you, too.

Rumination is always senseless by definition. It is aversion from feeling. When people say “I understand” it’s followed by a belief rooted in ignore-ance of feeling, something they don’t understand. Google and read, understand the difference between pain & suffering. Let the impulse to assert what you already know go, along with any beliefs that you understand, and continue learning. Get the message. Then spread the message. ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world’. MG

It’s like anything else. If that’s your vibration presently, that’s your experience presently. Married or not isn’t the variable. Acknowledge the rumination by recognizing how far ahead of things you’re thinkin. Enjoy now, feel the excitement of what you desire materializing now. Notice that it is. Note, or recognize, know, the feeling of excitement & the emotion of eagerness. Make a dreamboard in the present to attract the significant other you want in this present. Use the emotional scale to understand the emotions you are experiencing, and how letting go is the key to conscious manifestation, aka, allowing & receiving what you already know you want. Meditate every morning to address the rumination. Careful with employing ‘miss out’ valuation thinking / believing, as it makes it more difficult to understand emotions. Sort of a smokescreen of thought attachment, in believing a comparison is being made between direct experience and what is only a thought or concept. Likewise, projections of loss, compromise, etc. Someone could just as easily get married young and in hindsight see what they would’ve missed out on had they waited. The point isn’t an advise to do one or the other, but to be present & to know what you want and to get ready to receive it. With emotional & mental equanimity, and creating a dreamboard together, you can experience whatever you(s) want. If you’re scared of death, inspect the thoughts, question what it is you’re worrying about and why, and again use the scale to understand the emotion of worry, and to understand why scared is not an emotion. If things don’t work out, if you’re not happily married, it won’t be for different reasons, it’ll be because that’s what you’re focusing on & believing, because of what you’re unwilling to let go of. If you find yourself in such an experience, make two lists together on the back of your joint dreamboard: what we don’t want, and what we do want. Then erase the unwanted list, focus together (effortless) and thus consciously create, what you do want.

@Nadosa Sounds like existential rumination. What emotion arises? What thought feels better, more relieving? “Its not a thought.” Yes, it is. Return attention to feeling breathing from the stomach. ”I dont know anymore.” If you didn’t know, you’d feel amazing, and you wouldn’t have made this thread. It’s what you believe you know which is discordant, not what you don’t know. Specifically, what you believe you know about a past experience. That belief is discordant to that there is only the present. “Undo this realization” That’s another thought. There hasn’t been any realization yet. This is rumination. Humbly return attention to feeling breathing from the stomach. Write in your expression journal about how you’re feeling. Understand it by using the scale. “I feel like Ill be the only one left when letting go” That’s not feeling or an emotion, that’s a thought. That the thought is discordant reveals to you that you believe something is wrong or unacceptable about you. Accept that fact that it is your judgement which feels discordant. Stubbornness never helped anyone. Get feeling oriented experiences on your calendar. Here’s a broad list.

Karma. Trauma. Craving.

Yes, that’s the gist of it. I’d add ‘getting more connected’, communion wise, is what’s happening in any and every relationship already, though it isn’t always understood, or recognized, or interpreted that way. But it is always nonetheless, felt that way. Practical examples would be found in understanding exactly why thoughts like lack of joy, loss of freedom, the need to compromise, and or commit, feel subtly discordant.