Nahm

Can you be aware of the ego at play here? Can you have a dose of that medicine, to begin curing yourself? “It’s your own fault, because you insist you can not have a girlfriend”. Hopefully all this being “right”, being “the king knower of all facts” is fulfilling, and keeps you warm at night. I found arrogance to be thin, defensive in nature and unfulfilling, but of course, you can believe whatever arising thoughts about “your self” you want. You can also realize the obviousness that you are aware of thoughts. So a thought about you can not be true. Because, once again, you are the awareness, aware of, the thoughts.

@Mikael89 Are you sure? It seems like there is a huge ego there - making claims about “facts”, and “knowing better”, etc, etc, etc. Don’t believe me though. The suffering is always clear & honest.

http://thework.com/en/do-work https://www.amazon.com/Six-Pillars-Self-Esteem-Definitive-Leading/dp/0553374397 Those could be helpful. I realize now, you aren’t really suffering.

@Mikael89 Believe all those thoughts?

All just arising thoughts, awareness is aware of. Have you considered your sexual orientation might not be for woman? It sure sounds like you desire to be a woman.

There is no one taking responsibility. Your conflation perpetuates your misery. Up to you though. The thing about spiritual bypassing is it’s not something that can actually be done, only believed, so you always pay the price for believing such things as “there is no-one in control”, while being borderline homeless, again. Rather than face your false beliefs, you prefer to keep them, expecting other people who ‘do the work’ should enable you.

@Rohit saluja https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=la5NbasWL2s https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=01ZLi5zC8LY

@Callum Milner Yes! Till there’s nothing. ♥️

@Roch Dream as big as you can, accomplish as much as you can. The accomplishments will humble you. You’ll see.

In those “best moments of life” there is such vibrancy and clarity. Reading your post, you are very clear you have made this decision, and have no interest, influence wise, in all the comments. So why are you sharing this on an online forum? Given the clarity, you are understanding yourself...you are aware of why you post the details you are? You’re aware of what led you to do this, the motive behind it?

@Jack River You too ??

Still, even if it is both, do you see that the awareness of the changing “states of mind” - that the awareness did not change? Though the state changed, the awareness did not. The awareness was aware of the change. Do you see that? Do you also see this with the sensation too? That awareness did not change, awareness was aware of the changing states of mind, and of the sensation coming and going?

Is it mind or is it a sensation you are aware of?

@Viking Is it happening to you, or is it a sensation...which you are aware of?

@Viking So you feel it, it’s more of a sensation than over thinking?

What do you honestly think about loneliness?

@Mikael89 Sounds great. Slap an @Nahm here whenever. It will be very beneficial to you if while you’re doing your stuff to do, when any thoughts arise - look around you and see if any of the content of the thought or concept is ‘in the room’, can you see it, hear it, touch it? If not, just notice, it’s a thought, a concept, and or a belief. Looking forward to what that suffering has led you too. ?? And thanks for this experience.

Awesome job with expression. This is plenty enough to work with together. First... Can you be completely honest as we keep talking? (I’ll be typing words, but the end of your suffering will actually come from your own honesty.) If you can’t be honest, be upfront about it, and spend your time doing something else. Essentially I’m asking if you have suffered enough yet. It’s always easy to spot if someone has, because they will unequivocally say yes. One who hasn’t will just keep playing clever games.

Do you think there is a source of that? Are you aware it’s delusion (believing thoughts)? Sounds like you’re lost in concepts, beliefs, and identification. Do you want help with this? There are resources available for therapies, etc.

@TheWaterRuss Sorry, that doesn’t make sense for me. Are you happy, loving, at peace?

If you start looking into that, that is what spirituality is. When all the delusion is brought into the light, the light becomes known.

@TheWaterRuss What’s your actual experience though? Aside from context, beliefs & imagination.

Do some work on that.