Nahm

@VeganAwake Couldn’t have said it better. ?

@John Iverson You’re in luck! ??

@Leilani Awesome! ??

Obviously it’s ineffable, but what are a few other words you’d suggest as pointers?

@RedLine While it may seem like you’re doing, moving, thinking, working, you are not. You’re appearing as everything making it seem like you are. How is that practical or applicable? The former is contraction, tension, stress, issues with focus, concentration, reactions....all resistance to the latter....the latter is flow, liquid, whatever’s happening. ‘Moving’ from the former to the latter is arguably what meditation is ‘for’. It is only attachment in relationship to thoughts, which goes hand & hand with emotional suppression, which perpetuate the former. In terms of calming the activity of the mind, I would also look to diet and vision. Eating clean & knowing what you’re doing today is the unfolding of your dream of this life, being aware of how it fits in to the bigger picture you want. There appears to be a duality of doer and nondoer, but there is not.

@Red-White-Light Not trying to be sarcastic, trying to understand where you’re coming from... I get that there are thoughts regarding derealization, like reality isn’t real, or I am not real. What regarding derealization transpires in terms of perception...seeing & hearing? What about sensations & feeling, how does derealization feel?

@Nemo28 Going back and reading our convo on this thread, it seems you are a bit married to a concept about there being a second you, to murder, or kill. If this feels good, great stick with it. Imo, it is nonsense, as in, feeling is not joining you in that concept / perspective. Perhaps a new consideration...rather than adding the duality of my feelings, remove the duality that you possess feelings.

The murderer doesn’t die.

Death is a mental construct, a thought. Your sentiment & perspective implies you’re a murderer. How does that feel? If it feels like resistance, discord with who you really are....start listening, and readily & willingly, let such a perspective go.

Relationships, relatives, relativity, relative..... To what, to who? The only actual relationship is with yourself. Try to find the line between the feeling and that decision, and you end up with a big pile of love. Then relationships are wonderful! Fun, easy, exciting.

Believing love is energy, and bliss sex, contextualizes the self out of both.

If that were true it’d feel wonderful. It’s a cover story of immaturity. Well thank Goodness you’re not a child John! You’re here, right now, and that is all, and that is enough. You’re creating fear by ‘going to a past or future’ in thinking...feeling remaining here, now....and you labeling love, “fear”. Right now, you can tell old story and life unfolds in kind. Also however, you can tell the story you want, and life unfolds in kind. Reality is unconditional. You’re the author. Every. Single. Word. Start drinking other than coffee, might be obvious new story.

@moda__ The feeling has nothing to do with loss. Notice, there isn’t anything actually lost. The feeling has to do with continuing to believe in loss. You’re playing a game. The point is fun, enjoyment. Why expect robbing yourself of the only point would feel good?

@Nightwise Was right where you are my man. Started meditating properly every single morning, and occasionally again in the afternoon. No longer feared feeling. Instead, felt, and thus, Awoke. Then experimented with psychedelics etc. Kintsugi of your golden self.

@John Iverson Hard work will dissolve one’s fear of hard work. You are not meditating properly. Google, review, tweak. Life has no seriousness. Take ownership that you are adding that which does not feel good to you. Hard work & meditation are no problem, they feel wonderful. Believing your story of something, not noticing that is a story and not the actual experience, That feels terrible. But it’s because your story about it is terrible feeling. If it feels terrible, why are you proceeding with giving it attention? Why not tell a different story, or go without adding a story. (Brings you back to reviewing meditation techniques, assuming you are meditating every morning for an hour). With a permanent marker, in 2 foot font, write on your wall... ”What do I need to change about my approach?”

@Nemo28 Time’s a mental construct, a thought.

@Nemo28 “Two months ago”. Lol. Ok.

No its not, you’re love. Reality = you being. You are the cake and the eating. You can have your cake and eat it too, and when you do, when you really do...you and every single human on this planets benefits. Soul crushed and depressed is a story to see through, to feel through to clarity, not any actuality. Love you. ??? “I feel like ayahuasca is helping me to collapse that seeker/self difference into one. I might do peyote retreat to further melt into oneness. “ Relative, where you’re at ish comment, but worth consideration imo...imagine a second version of you, same reality but not doing that. Not doing the ‘actual work’ of that ‘collapse’. How honest are you of this reality by comparison? Again, relatively speaking, imo, much, much, much more so. I would even go so far as to say you are collapsing what some settle for as a “conditioned body”.

@Kalki Avatar Thoughts are in the movie, not about the movie, so to speak. It’s now, or not at all. There is only spontaneous contextlessness appearance. Into a thought of me, a past, a future...all veils of what is only ever eternally now. Nothing done, undone, or not done in a movie has anything to do with that it is a movie. ‘Movie’ = one whole ineffable free agency. Analogously, a thought about clay is not actually about clay, as thought is ‘clay’. No one is the clay. “My dilemma is the following. Is it better to get your shit together in your life and then go full enligthenment or get enlightened & dont suffer but be a misery in the game while it lasts.” Is a thought separate of you? If so, precisely where is the separation? If a thought is not separate of you, then a thought is you. If a thought is you, no thought could be about you. “No social life, no focus on money, no girls, not caring much about my career, job etc” You could say that is the path. That, life, direct experience of desire & relinquishing self limiting beliefs, is the only actual ‘teacher’. Much more so than practices, books, videos, concepts, “dilemmas”, etc. Every occurrence of the feeling of suffering, arising of the wanting and yet met by the avoidance / suppression, procrastination of it, is the actual teaching of what suffering & self limiting beliefs are. Every thought is apparent. How else could there ‘be’ thought.

@Aaron p Lot of meat left on that bone.

@khalifa Well, the theme seems to be creating the feeling of discord or resistance, by comparing to past, future, self and others. Then not liking how that feels. Then comparing & complaining about how it feels. If you were to aim at turning this around, my best guess is that it would be noticing and being impeccable with your word. Ever read The Four Agreements? Very short but impactful book. Wishing you well my friend. I think this is the same theme, though if I was in your shoes & perspective I’d feel exactly the same. A google on self fulfilling prophecies, and law of attraction (YouTube Abraham Hicks) could be very helpful if and when you’re ready to reach for a better feeling perspective. I think there’s a point we reach where it’s actually easier to let go and feel deeply than to continue thinking to avoid feeling. If it resonates. Best of luck, hoping for the best for ya.

Why? Anything you’re getting out of it? A benefit? Is the complaining equaling the worrisome feeling? What about appreciating life more by forgetting about the baseline?

@khalifa What if it turned out sleep was the furthest thing from something to fear, but more relaxation, peace, love? Any perspectives about sleep, life, yourself, that would then not hold up anymore so to speak?

@khalifa How’s everything other than psychedelics and nonduality going my man? How’s you’re life purpose, job, career, hobbies, relationships, etc?

Not, two. A thought is like a book. A book is a book. Also, you can open it up, and get lost in it. Which is fine, because you didn’t actually get lost, because it’s just a book. Same for life. Get lost in it all ya like, because you actually can’t. Always actually safe and sound, vibrationally appearing, as life. You are you. These words are the same. This is you. If you like, you can play pretend, that it isn’t you. That’s there’s me. Saying something.