Nahm

Yep & and...that ‘ still kinda scary though ‘ is meat of understanding on the bone of samadhi. Understanding is not a distraction to being, understanding is quite literally being. Like the apparent words in a book are literally the book and there is no book, understanding is your own illusion of yourself, and there is no self. Meditation is for letting monkey mind go, not for quitting and making a life out of intellectualizing. Unless of course, that is the life you most desire & dream of. Peace & understanding are two sides of the same coin, like intelligence & creativity. Thus your identity & meaning making can not have been shredded, because they only stood on the illusory foundation of understanding, and so there is no cause to fret, sans contextualizing the monkey mind such that it feeds separation via superiority. You were never not you, and you were never not creating of you. If today is of woe, that is still the story, but in any given being you can create the story you want.

@electroBeam Yes but the line is getting long.

@Gesundheit Cause you don’t have one.

This is from over exposure to solipsism. No offense, in either & any case, obviously. Go see. Too much thinking makes for paranoia and psychosis.

@electroBeam Infinity is the experience of no experience, experientially speaking. The pain in the ass is that you keep believing what people say about what is prior to experience. It’s like that thing people sometimes do, where they say oh you got something on your shirt, and when you look down, then they slide their hand up and smack your face. Feel the slap, disregard the pointing. If you think you have two hands, you haven’t been slapped by infinity.

"Figured You Out" I like your pants around your feet And I like the dirt that's on your knees And I like the way you still say please While you're looking up at me You're like my favourite damn disease And I love the places that we go And I love the people that you know And I love the way you can't say no Too many long lines in a row I love the powder on your nose Asleep and loving it, in the warm blanket of denial & hypocrisy, of samsara. And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) And this charactor of mine, constructed of my own denial & hypocrisy, I spot first - in ‘you’. I see through you, yet not yet through me. I like the freckles on your chest And I like the way you like me best And I like the way you're not impressed While you put me to the test I like the white stains on your dress And I love the way you pass the check And I love the good times that you wreck And I love your lack of self-respect While you passed out on the deck I love my hands around your neck My last throws of denial are upon relishing in yours, masquerading along side you. And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) (Why not before, you never tried) (Gone for good, and this is it) But now this is seen. I like your pants around your feet And I like the dirt that's on your knees And I like the way you still say please While you're looking up at me You're like my favourite damn disease And the cause of this is myself, my own denial. I use you. And I hate the places that we go And I hate the people that you know And I hate the way you can't say no Too many long lines in a row I hate the powder on your nose And I hate that I do, and I see how I’ve been wasting my life trying to rectify this in a hindsight roller coaster approach. I see the true nature of denial, of attraction, of my sex addiction, my drug addiction, and I am in disgust of myself. And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) And now I know who you are It wasn't that hard, just to figure you out (Now I did, you wonder why) (Why not before, you never tried) (Gone for good, and this is it) Now I see that you are me, I see the mirror. The finite mind, in recognizing the nature of the mirror, never was, and liberation was always the case. In inspecting the suffering, enlightenment isn’t that hard to figure out. But you must try. The fruit of proper inspection, is lasting. “I” have figured “you” out.

This takes me 5 minutes total to make & clean up. It’s low calorie & nutrient dense, and imo, delicious. Recognizing the falsity of this thought path, and how it fuels the rollercoaster of excessive practices relative to time spent on life purpose and enjoying experience, would be most time saving & resistance releasing.

With a Dreamboard. That path is already within you to be seen & realized. Can’t be told.

What is the difference between there being people who are permanently awake, and you no longer believing in ‘people’? What is “permanent enlightenment” then? Who is, or would, or could be?

What if right now you had just woken up... just sat up in bed...fully realizing the life of Muhammad Jawad, including the spacetime, earth, humans, etc, was a dream? Would the memories be of the dream too? More importantly perhaps, what would you do, today...with zero recollection of this alleged “Mohammed Jawad” business?

Great realization. I think you could take it farther by questioning .... What’s ‘it’?

I’d listen to the advice of your psychologist. If trying is your bread & butter, understanding is your vehicle to anxiety, suffering, ruminating, procrastination & avoidance. Understanding is but an illusory explanation & justification of an apparent means, not a journey, destination or what could be in sentiment referred to as ‘truly living’. This is the equivalent of unknowingly making the path your destination, and ‘looping’ without creating anything you want to be creating. The “existential crisis” is more likely the emotional recognition of this short sidedness when you were told this, which is likely in part the feeling-realization of the extent you’ve identified with understanding. No one gets off the carrousel of thinking, and it is chalked full of the unused bodies of understanders. Life is understood fully lived.

@Whatwhat Contemplate how it is that your question is false rather than holding it to be true and expecting an answer. Maybe nothing is hidden, but assumptions make it so. Inspect them. Specifically, that suffering has an outside catalyst or source.

Sure you can. It’s just that you can, vs someone else can for you. Tons of nuance to truly recognizing the extent of projection at play. Surface hasn’t even been seen yet.

Some answers are just the feeling which says this doesn’t feel right to me, and seeing for yourself.

?

@SS10 It is possible to be dreaming and believing that you are a character in a dream and thus not realize you are dreaming. There could be snakes in a dream. There could be stuff like free will and determinism talked about in the dream. These ideas and concepts could seem to make sense in a dream. But if the dream told you it was a dream, how would you know If this statement makes sense?

@Vision Why would somebody watch that?

Apart from the dreamboard process, it’s thinking about direct experience. Only direct experience will do. You are of course free to contemplate in all manors you like, and thus directly experience what you’re asking about. You could write the desires on your dreamboard, and find that expression is very clarifying in and of itself. You could also use the dreamboard to ‘untangle’ thinking which is of the subject object relationship. The back is ideal if it’s double sided. Sometimes a completely different perspective arises in seeing thoughts in front of us, so to speak. It can be insightful & liberating.

Non subject object relationship & experience. Thinking about yourself as parts, and or being against desire, or any other ‘parts’ of yourself and experience, or anyone or anything else, is always up to you. In regard to that specific passage, I think you’ll find a realization in spotting the difference between need & want.

@Gesundheit Sure it is. It’s a thought about yourself. Just like “not up to me unfortunately”.

@4201 Focus on what you want. @zeroISinfinity Focus on what you want.

Just let go of that one thought.

No, just in the conventional ‘regular’ sense, acknowledging whatever you are doing, you are doing, because you want to be doing it. If there is something else you want to do, recognizing that you are doing what you want, can be most helpful. Wanting is feeling. Identifying is via beliefs about who one is. Yes. You would be aligning feeling and perspective. There is no need to focus on what you don’t want. Once you know what you don’t want, flip to what you do want. Pause in between. Relax, take big stomach breaths. Excellent. Awareness that those are just thoughts is ample. You can see that they aren’t actually about you, because you are the awareness of, the thoughts. It’s temporary with psychedelics too. So rely on feeling, which is not temporary. Listening to feeling in the first place, rather than claiming & labelling it, is an option. This option is miraculously made new again and again and again and again. Always there for you. No need to focus on how it may have went in a past. No need to identify with that thought. There is no need for “a self”, and there is no need for Bruce forcing anything. The feeling was present and guiding before the meditation was even mentioned (and probably thought about). Totally seems like it. I feel ya. But there is only one at a time. The total “work order” is actually one perspective at a time. The more you align perspectives with feeling like you mentioned, the more feeling it seems there is, and the more there is only one thought / perspective at a time, is clearer.