Nahm

@Podie45 It’s the identity held up as an idol, but their identity is your idea. There is a key distinction, between being deceived and deceiving oneself. There is a natural learning curve from experience. Nothing to wallow in or dwell on. It’s as natural and helpful as feeling, understanding and expressing jealousy. It’s good to feel it and express, not so good to feel it and suppress. Look for links in how you think of yourself in opposite ways to those you might idolize. Utilize the emotion of jealousy to recognize interests, hobbies, activities, pursuits, etc, that you are interested in. Feel the ‘burn’ of the thoughts like ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m not x, y, or z enough’, ‘I’d never be able to’, etc. Focus on how good it feels when you align such thoughts and ideas with ‘who you really ‘ are. Most ‘great things’ or ‘accomplishments’ for which one could lean towards idolizing someone for, began with that person choosing the thought alignment of ‘I can’. With first believing and seeing ‘x, y, or z is possible’ ‘for me’. The fundamental underlying current if you will, of this situation, is love. If reluctant to allow and receive love for yourself, it is sought from a secondary source. The more love is allowed reception and earnestly expressed, the more it is clear the love is coming from within.

@tatsumaru If you’ve been focusing on thoughts & a past defining who you are in an unfavorable way with respect to how you feel... it can take a while for the new momentum, but it feels great as soon as the orientation is changed. I see you and feel you as the opposite of what you describe, and you can’t prove me wrong in anyway, and it wouldn’t feel good to try. It takes no more effort, and less energy, to interpret that experience as perfectly normal. Being dropped off at school is a sensitive event for us at that age. Now though, you can understand that mom wasn’t abandoning you at all, and it wasn’t a sad event per se, without the interpretation that it was. You may have heard this one or a thousand times, but create dreamboard, and use the emotional scale. Pm me anytime if useful. For nipping discordant thoughts in the bud, before they become the trees that have been becoming, meditation, and expression as needed, is completely effective. If I were in your shoes, the orientation would be a steadfast aim at well being, and learning about, feeling / understanding the suffering. What it is, how its created, etc. I would keep a dialogue going in general, a looking into more and more intimate nuanced most-important-to-you aspects. Simple improv writing is great for limiting beliefs and ‘stuckness’. Streaming writing is great for effortlessly letting go and seeing what’s going on more clearly.

@Arbolesmentirosos Awesome. Had a hunch. Definitely play with it, and singing is a great way imo. Even just ‘saying to yourself’ ‘turn the energy on now’... turns it on. You’re probably feeling in it now just from us talkin about it. ?

No mind.

@Frenk Ego intact, ego not intact, these are thoughts let go in meditation. You definitely don’t have to worry about a similar experience when meditating. It could not be more opposite. You’ll experience more of everything you described. Peaceful, relaxing, your Home, your place to let all worries go. ‘Give it all to God’, and you’ll only feel more love & clarity.

@Arbolesmentirosos Not lame at all imo, great non-work. Yawning is common, could be expected even. It thought activity unwinding, or, more peace. Yawning is really common with channeling, reiki, yoga, etc. As far as loosing energy or focus, I would relax more deeply, wouldn’t worry about that at all. (We don’t really ‘have it’ to lose.)Defocusing is par for the course, nothing to worry about. Imo the vowel mantra is great as well, I could see where it helps both with shifting focus way from thought activity, and naturally relaxes the apparent vibration. Sorry,...body. You might like singing as a breathing, feeling, inner awareness, vibrational non-practice also. Can move up the emotional scale in a fun brisk manor that way. Awesome. Take as big of a breath into as low in your stomach as you can, and let it out slowly while saying the alphabet. Take such a big breath intro the stomach that you feel muscles stretching underneath the stomach even. You’ll be able to say the alphabet once or twice. Repeat this for about five minutes, in a fun / relaxed manor. You’ll then be able to say the alphabet pretty easily seven or eight times. Pay close feeling attention to the diaphragm, it’s at the top of the stomach, directly below where the ribs join together at the chest bone. Feel the diaphragm acting as a Scottish bagpipe, supplying air flow in a controlled manor. Hmmm / say ohm, or any sound that you like, as lowly (bass) as you can, in a relaxing the entire body manor. You’ll probably notice shoulders tensing, etc. Just notice and relax them. In around fifteen minutes a ‘click’ will happen where focus and the diaphragm muscle connect. Then start leaning toward allowing the body to be breathing on it’s own and focus only on the sound (remain aware of the breathing happening). Keep relaxing the body over and over through out as needed. (Typically there is contraction in the neck, stomach, hips, shoulders, hands and bottoms of the feet. Check, and relax em. I would keep going into that instinct, like you mentioned... the ‘getting out of the way of meditation’ maybe. You’ll experience the feedback you’re looking for, imo. You English is great btw, I wouldn’t worry about that either.

@Rajneeshpuram Go deeper, much deeper.

@Bogdan Appreciated. ??

Will you keep finding more and more differences if you keep zooming in forever? That theoretical inquiry ultimately circles back and ends in theory. Or enlightenment.

Consciousness precedes all seeing & hearing, or ‘arguments’ as you say. You’d have a much easier time inquiring into detaching from thoughts / content (arguments).

@SunAngel Awesome, I can really relate. And yes, completely possible... even ‘the other side’, so to speak. You might get a lot from reiki books and classes btw.

Inspecting direct experience. Not assuming, debating, agreeing, disagreeing, blaming, trusting, etc.

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Ya but that commute. ?

It’s not caused by or coming from a secondary source “life”. It’s judgement, conditioning. Let go of the expectations and conditions about how you or anything must be by expressing emotions instead of, and whenever the habit of ‘thinking about yourself’ arises. That is the resistance... the hating... not the living. Enjoy whatever is as it is. Notice if & when you hold happiness to be contingent upon things going your way, and bring the happiness you are into the moment instead. Happiness is now. It’s not “in a future”. It’s not “only if you do or accomplish x, y or x”. That’s conditioning, or conditional happiness.

@Zion I knew a guy who carried the weight of expectations... and there for pressure, tension and stress. His primary motive was to be right. More specifically, to be seen and heard as right, and to always be avoiding the experience of being seen or heard as wrong. So he believed what is really grey, was black & white, and that he knew the ‘right’ black, or white. This led to carrying this somewhat intense focus to bigger & bigger pictures, leading to “all or nothing”. But that lead to the recognition all is nothing, grey appears as black & white, yet only in thought, in labelling. Yet never in perception or feeling. Never in direct experience, in a sense. Only in thoughts about it. Never in regard to himself, only in thought about.

Awesome. Express that high energy as excitement, enthusiasm, eagerness, fun. Bring the subject the anxiety thought is about to mind. Look at the emotional scale and pick which emotion you feel when you bring that thought to mind. Express from there, each emotion on up the scale. Write about it, with the theme being how you feel right now. Allow whatever arises to arise and come up and out. Yes, stuff like ice baths causes the body to trigger, to want to get up and go... and then the mind assures the body it is ok. Try this anytime when the thought of anxiety arises, by focusing on seeing, hearing, feeling and breathing. Say, I’m ok, right here, right now. (And it’s always right here, right now.) It’s the thought pattern, or belief, meeting actuality (that you’re ok and loved no matter what).

In making well being a core principle, thoughts which don’t resonate are let go. You might think of this as ‘just a but more prior’. Prior to even the thoughts “I’m really bad....”, “in my head I have this limiting belief...”, “I won’t be able to...”, “hindering my progress...”. These are self referential thoughts. Thoughts about a you, or yourself, which don’t resonate, because they aren’t true about you. Establishing principles is great. Focusing on thoughts simply for how you feel is more subtle, easier, greater and.... feels good. ? When you notice thoughts about yourself, shift to thoughts about what you want to create & experience. Feel the relief and alignment, as a creator. Feel the love that is the alignment.

@Ya know No they are not the same thing, yet they are the same no thing.

@tuckerwphotography Jesus seemed like a good reference as he neither tried to save the world or himself, from what I gather. Movement is an appearance, repose points to the ineffable appearing. One or the other is not the best of both worlds, equanimity makes the middle way of ‘them’, or rather, a ‘you’.

Focus on better feeling thoughts. That which you would like to manifest. Get the juice out of the having worried for nothing. I was asking about your psychedelic experiences wondering if you have that frame of reference to make comparisons. What you’re describing sounds a lot like the 3 g mushroom zone. Where meaning goes from particle to wave, flirting with the fringe of infinite mind / imagination ‘zone’. In either case, grounding practices are helpful in not getting too swept up in thought, perception, or ego boosts. If you have a unique gift, align it’s usage with it’s source and it’ll blow your mind. I assume.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.” Corinthians

When thought activity settles in meditation, the identity does cease to exist. Then, the “fight” for happiness is recognized to have been the thought activity, which was veiling the very happiness sought. That is thought activity (“I mean”...”human-ego-me” etc). Why? Because that is already the actuality right now. The belief is that it was before, and or is after. It’s this, now. To actually realize this, and not believe thoughts about this, is the best of both worlds. Do you think you know better than the God head you speak of? This is what God is being, ‘you’, so to speak. Perhaps meditation is the ideal middle-way. Not feeling like playing anymore is part of the game. It’s the part where you realize the value of mental & emotional equanimity, and create a dreamboard, and relish in the miracle of experience as ‘the God head’ be’s that which ‘you’ desire to co-create & experience. The ‘best of both worlds’. You clearly haven’t realized the things you’re claiming, but should keep inspecting and questioning imo. That is the only way to know the ‘answer’. And there is an absolutely satisfying answer. And you’ll definitely feel like playing.