Nahm

Welcome, and thanks, and also, not trying to ‘call’ or single ‘anyone out’ per se.

200k house, monthly mortgage, insurance & taxes, approx. 1,200, rents (depending on area) for around 2,000 a month… net of approx 800 a month, 10k a year while the renter is essentially paying off the mortgage. 2 houses, 1,600 a month / 20k a year. 10 houses, 8k a month, 96k a year… after mortgages are paid off, approx 16k a month, 192k per year. From this perspective it seems odd people want to rent (imo), but as this thread shows and as I’ve learned, people have very different desires depending on where they’re at in life. A new roof at 10k might eat the profit of a year, so a new roof & furnace, or a buffer fund incase, is pretty much needed going in, but a roof lasts around 30 years, which is 29 years of not paying for a roof (and or furnace, etc), or 290k income. For no maintenance, property management companies cost approx 10%.

Rape is a crime. This is not a grey matter. The rapist is at fault, not the victim of the crime. This is also not a grey matter. Your perspective on this is what’s referred to as victim shaming. There’s no ‘unpacking’ happening here. You are literally saying “it’s your fault”. Imagine someone robbing your home, and the police telling you it’s your fault because you should’ve had an alarm system. Are you able to see how the crime is not your fault, but the burglar’s? Even if at the same time an alarm system might be a good idea? Can you see the difference between saying there are unfortunately rapists, and it could be advisable to be aware of this, and even think proactively & defensively, perhaps by carrying mace, pepper spray, or the likes… vs saying it is the victim’s fault the crime occurred? Essentially, that a woman ‘asked for it’ by dressing or applying make up in some way?

You are responsible for not raping people. There is no shared responsibility here. This is as clear cut as victim shaming & the justification of criminal activity could be. You are implying a woman who is raped is not the victim of a crime, but that the crime is somehow warranted, justifiable, understandable or excusable, or that it is the result of a lack of adherence to some shared responsibility. Woman are free to wear clothes & make up however they choose, and do not need to have any regard for your consent or interpretations to do so. You are implying rape is justifiable because you can’t control yourself / your urges, and that women bear some responsibility to cater to your lack of impulse control. It isn’t ‘male POV’, it’s your pov, and it isn’t a matter of denial, it’s illegal and morally abominable. I’m not assigning points or banning you so that you have an opportunity to express this ignorance (which has already transpired), and an opportunity to hear from others, and to choose to expand & learn, and to realize & employ some empathy & compassion by putting yourself in other’s shoes. If you persist in supporting this view however, you’ll be banned. If that is the direction you choose, I do hope you seek out some counseling to come to this realization & understanding. @integral You’re coming from the same place, and in jeopardy of being banned as well. ‘All men go through a phase like this’ is a deeply personal bias which is appalling as it implies rape could somehow be justified.

Insightful, but a pinch skeptical & nihilistic in the ‘there’s a bullet to bite’ philosophy, no? That the obtaining or actualizing of a goal will create happiness is indeed illusory, sans some fleeting pleasures, in the sense, veiled experiences of happiness for the separate self, or missing ‘who’ the happiness is which is appearing as experience, and indeed ‘chasing’. The goal (thought) is already ‘made of’ happiness / infinite being / love, as is the ‘physical manifestation’ or actualizing of the goal. The suffering is the belief I am separate (of happiness, being, love and therefore of the goal, creation, & manifestation of it), aka, “I am limited”, “I need x”, “I’m incapable of this manifesting”, or incomplete without x. The conscious purposeful creating of & focusing on of goals, via experience & preference, the feeling of the guidance, and the discovery of the true ease of allowing & receiving the manifestation - that ‘it’ (being) can be experienced ‘in the real’ as such, and ‘you’ are at the helm, is pure joy. Even more so perhaps, the realization and if you will, the parallel sharing of the realization of our being, is arguably an even greater joy. The ‘two’ so to speak, imo, can’t be beat. (I mean, it kinda can but how long to prostrate is kinda up to you. Soak up all the healin goodness ‘needed’, it’s unlimited .) Accepting there is nothing to do and nowhere to go can also be denial & as you say, a movement (as / of / in thought) away from that there is anything to do and everywhere to go for the creator… which can be anything and is being this. The perfection never ceases to be jaw dropping.

The average Joe see’s through this hypocrisy with little to no effort because they are not suppressing their emotions to “be right”… to “be the knower”. Do you see the people you talk with having huge problems with a conversation, judging others as below them and toxic, being trigged by a conversation, blaming others for getting triggered and ignoring & suppressing rage & anger, and even needing to refrain from causing harm to others? How is this so entirely missed? Seems preposterous.

The model does not account for the I which doesn’t like the model.

@Breakingthewall The definitions are thoughts, while there is no thinker of thoughts. The lips can not kiss the lips, the nose can not smell the nose, the eyes can not see the eyes, the mind can not control the mind, just as thoughts can not define awareness.

@BlackMaze A ‘better job’ then, is a job which is oriented toward no job, just as Job suffered only to realized there is no Job. To be conditional, is to be oriented to unconditional. To enjoy the journey is divine.

In meditation, there are thoughts which are translated into need for control. What is an Emmet and a Bricksburg without legos?

From a distance the water in a desert seems actual. With a lessening of distance, the water is realized to be a mirage. From a distance the desert in love seems actual. With a lessening of distance, the desert is realized to be a mirage. Love is never the cause of the desert, the water, or the mirage. There are not these things, but thought makes it so. There is not thought, but love makes it so.

If separate physical things fell apart, there’d then be more parts. If the belief in separate things falls apart… non-separation, or wholeness, Truth, already is.

@SageModeAustin Yes. What are some examples of what you’ve seen people doing, having or being, which you want?

It’s in the approach, outlook, attitude, perspective. It can never be found, because we’re always creating on the fly. It can always be changed, because we’re always creating on the fly. Old paradigm: New paradigm: Forcing. Allowing. Forcing myself. I am myself. I know it sounds dumb. I care how I feel, not what anyone thinks. My motives. Inspiration. Feeling great. I lost time. I am presence. I’m productive. I’m aware of focus; it’s always now. Pressure, frustration. Willingness, letting go, contentment.

Well hell yes.

+1?

There’s “letting it go” and there’s really Letting It Go / can’t even remember what it was, takes a minute to come to mind, a certain reloading of it into / as the now is experienced. Once you got that jealousy from others… let the comparative thinking go…it served it’s purpose & was heard / felt… now you know what you want… move up the scale to passion and do / live it. If it’s to be famous, be famous. If it’s to be really good at something, be really good at something. But do so for you so to speak, just for the direct experience of it, because you love it that much, because it lights you up, illuminates you, sets you on fire. Not for your thoughts about how you’re seen or thought of. That’d be ruminating unproductive busy work of the mind. Allow what everyone else is doing to be a great well of jealousy… appreciation that they are doing it, resulting in inspiration & passion brought to direct experience. You can pair this with selflessness along the way, and or go full selfish too… all roads lead to unity and servitude, and you don’t even need to know that along the way.

@Loving Radiance Meditation, specifically listening to the silence is likely the answer. The ‘chattery’ mind factor ends into the listening to Nothing. Can be ‘practiced’ outside of the formal practice of meditation as well of course, the silence is always ‘on’, even beneath all varieties of sounds. The ‘worthwhile’ of this is then (eventually) there aren’t thoughts in the particles or dual sense anymore per se, but insights and eventually just waves, then siddhis, etc. In the shorter term, if the mind is active in that way, try aligning the activity to what someone is saying. Make a movie in the mind which they’re narrating basically. A sort of doubling down on focus and interest in what they’re saying. For fun, and insight, view that movie like Sherlock Homes. The mind reveals subtle ‘clues’ in this way, that will feel inspiring and insightful as to what they’re experiencing, and is very expanding & a pleasant experience for you. Memorizing the Reiki symbols (the first three anyways) comes to mind. Form writing them on paper each day until memorized, and then ‘writing them in your mind’… a different type of communication occurs with source. That of symbols without linear implications. It’s really neat and fun, and very much like the aliens and humans in the movie Arrival. Inspiring video idea, thank you for that.

@BlackMaze That was awesome.

It sounds like contingent happiness. (Happiness is love, awareness, consciousness, infinite being). The contingency looks like; have her, I’m happy. Don’t have her; I’m not happy. I’m not suggesting this is easy, it’s not. It takes experience, heartbreak & ‘rebuilding’ from heartbreak. But the light at the end of the tunnel is that happiness isn’t something you have, which you could lose… because it’s the true nature of what you are… but thoughts, or, the mind, kind of hijacks the happiness / love by projecting it onto the having or not having of someone or something, or of things going or not going your way. It is rough, but it does get better & better the more one experiences, and learns to let go of discordant thoughts, namely about oneself. There are ways to go about this…. Meditation. Then there isn’t attachment, or as much attachment, to the thoughts. Then when a thought like “I might lose her” arises, there is still some space around the thought, and that space is happiness / love. So the thought isn’t so convincing, and the ‘loss’ doesn’t seem so detrimental or threatening. This is completely innocent and pretty much, again, requires experience to learn and realize. Everyone get’s into this place via forgetting they are the happiness / love. When you ‘have it’, it seems like it’s arising from an outside source. Meditation is most helpful is clearing the mind, such that it becomes clearer happiness / love arises within you, and inevitably, is you. If you can hear this - what you want to happiness / love, not per se, any one person or relationship. Again, there’s a learning curve. Don’t ‘beat up’ on yourself. Please don’t take / use what I’m saying in that light. Another way to shift perspective and thus feeling, is entertaining the perspective that you never ‘have’ her to begin with, such that you could ‘lose’ her. She’s not a possession. She’s not something you need, to be happy, to feel the love that is / you are. It’s likely the thought arises.. “then what do I need to do to know and feel this happiness / love that I am?”. And that is the big paradox which makes youthful heartbreak so rough - there isn’t anything you can do per se… but if you let go of any thoughts or beliefs about yourself to the contrary, the happiness / love rises of it’s own accord, effortlessly. Another way is to shift what you’re focused on. Not per se at the time of argument or of a break up, but generally, kinda, all the time… putting more ‘happiness / love stock’ in the thrill & wonder of creating the life you most deeply desire to create - that being with or without a relationship, a significant other, or sex, etc. I am not saying you shouldn’t desire or make efforts to have relationships, sex, etc. I am saying ‘your’ happiness is less contingent on someone else than it seems, when we’re young. No offense. Again, it’s innocent. Generally, people who do ‘find’ that happiness love, and it’s from a relationship, end up feeling there must be more. It’s not satisfying. It is at first, but not in the long run. In a way all roads lead to self realization and the wonder of consciously creating. Arguably the most important factor is letting go. Which again, takes experience. By letting go I mean… when you’re already upset, angry, heartbroken, concerned, worried, frustrated, etc, etc… all you really want is to feel better. So we think and ‘make moves’ attempting to feel better. But we can’t, as Esther Hicks says, “get from there to there”. You can’t get from anger to passionate creating for example, without letting go and feeling contentment along the way. One must let go, or, empty the cup, so that it can then be filled with the goodness one is. Then it just gets clearer and clearer happiness / love is ever present, and ever available, without contingencies. Also… the current interpretation might be confusing to you, but you might be missing that the confusion, and likely frustration, arises from the interpretation. You might interpret that you need validation and are insecure. But it’s possible that isn’t actuality true about you at all. It’s possible that complimentary words and kindness from people are more of a break from thoughts which don’t feel good. Thoughts about yourself perhaps. Without thoughts / beliefs about yourself that don’t feel good, there is little need, desire for, or even interest in feeling better from compliments or validation from outside yourself. Again, takes experience, consideration, contemplation, expression, and meditation is most helpful. Might be helpful to express how you feel, understand why your parents or influential people around you act & behave(d) as they did / do. Often when you see they’re doing their best, a lot which you might have believed to be about you is seen to be outward projection from them, which had nothing to do with you. I mean, you might have caught the brunt of it, it might have been anywhere from unpleasant to traumatic, but the freedom is realizing it’s not your fault, and ultimately understanding & forgiveness of others, is the ultimate freedom for you.

Understanding is like wifi, and some phones believe it’s their wifi. Can ya blame em though? Totally seems like it is. There are countless reasons that it is. Infinite ‘reasons’. WiFi’s funny like that. Or phones are funny that way. Depends on how you look at it. The wifi can never actually say or explain or understand, the wifi.

@Zigzag Idiot Not that anything from the book sounds off… but it could be taken as there is achievement / attainment required regarding the diamond terminology. Frank Yang comes to mind. he uses a term, “the natty” (or naddy). I think it’s just a slang reference to ‘natural’, or what I use the term ‘true nature’ to point to. But, you could see how someone could mistake this as not the most fundamental-what-already-is, and interpret it as “I have to reach / achieve / accomplish / attain “The Natty”. The reference to Frank is just an analogous example, in response to what I think you’re inquiring, which is how my approach or sharing differs from what you shared from ’Runaway Realization’ above. (Frank seems right in imo, and I like the term ;the natty ). I am always orienting and reorienting again & again to drop all but the most simplest of language. That’s the only difference that I notice. My hope is that folks realize ‘oh wow, what I’ve been just calling “feeling or my feelings” has been guidance this whole time!”, because I can see, or have a vision, that this is betterment for one and all. I like to be a part of that so to speak, vs trying to coin terms and reinvent or personalize anything. Hopefully that makes sense (cause in a way I’m not even saying anything). In regard to the pulsing sensation… imo… the best way to go is to give the entire matter to source. To let any labels upon it go, and just relax, feel into the body naturally, in an effortless normal sense. So… “sensational guidance” is just a pointing. Not something I would say is a “Realization” (capitol R style)… just ‘oh, ok, feeling, emotions, guidance, cool’.

@BlackMaze Great inquiry. I’d first establish what you want. Anything small or seemingly insignificant, like literally ‘a sand which’… and anything big or seemingly significant, like become a millionaire… anything. I’d write it down, instead trying to remember or keep it top of mind. Dreamboard is great for this. Then, there is a point, that which you desire has been express, and you’re creating consciously, purposefully. Then, ‘thinking for yourself’, (while that implies there are two of you I get what you mean) has a point. As an example, say someone wants to be an Olympic figure skater. Then what does thinking for oneself, on one’s own behalf look like? Choices like what to eat, how much sleep to get, wether or not to do drugs, drink alcohol, etc, etc, etc… these choices are secondary, and supportive of the chief desires which were written down. Also, something to consider and much more so directly experience… the ‘deeper’ one goes in expressing one’s wants & desires… deeper as in more honestly, more authentically… the more desire is felt… and the more one is inspired via focusing on what one desires. It is far easier, and much more ‘stream’ or ‘flow’, in comparison to one employing motivation, or, the avoidance of what one doesn’t want.

@Loving Radiance Are you saying you want to be able to listen to someone without attention shifting to ‘your own’ thought narrative?

The perspective you need is one of shortage, lack, incompleteness... and possibly even of unfairness… but is sustained, repeated, via the denial of what you want, and that you are wanting & do want. Think about what you want, instead of ‘yourself’, or, a ‘self’ which needs, which you are developing. (There is no actual experience of there being these “two of you”; the ‘developer’ & the ‘developed’). This apparent duality is never actually experienced, it is only apparent, as in seems so, in thoughts. If you didn’t believe you need, how could you experince the frustration of not having? Are you ever frustrated that you don’t have what you don’t believe you need? A milkshake for example is a pleasurable and satisfying (arguably) experience in terms of sensation and satiation… is it ‘a problem’ that you don’t have a milkshake? No, because you aren’t believing you need one. Do you want one…? Notice, in that reframe of want (rather than need), you’re ‘back’ in control (were the whole time). If you are knowing what you are wanting, you are able to recognize resistant thoughts against the having of it. Those resistant thoughts are self referential thoughts. They feel off because they reference an incomplete, or separate, ‘self’, which there isn’t. Then a paradigm flip can occur such as effortlessly letting go of the resistance simply because it neither makes logical sense nor feels good, rather than believing you’re ‘sometimes supposed to feel ‘off’ or ‘bad’…. And therefore must effort or ‘work past’ these thoughts, to experience relationships, intimacy, and sex. If I said I need to develop myself before I could ride a bike, you might tell me that the ‘development’ is the riding of the bike. I might wipe out a few times, but that’s the only way to learn, direct experience. What is ‘sexual maturity’, if not sexual experience? In the devil’s advocate sense… if I told you there were things I need before I could ride a bike… what would you tell me? In regard to ‘emotionally connecting with people’, you might consider this is also a thought which has no actuality, and in believing it does you’re unknowingly creating - yet knowingly experiencing, emotional confusion. The emotional connection is found in none other than in the creating of the emotions; the discord or alignment between thoughts & feeling. Another person can never supplement that relationship, and when that relationship is solid, the world is your oyster. Potential sexual mates and significant others will intrinsically be attracted… because everyone desires that connection, that wholeness, that power. It is indeed within you, look for it there and you will find it in great abundance.