Gabriel Antonio

That's a very good question. Have you seen Leo's video on this? I'd say to deliberately do things imperfectly.

Abuse of authority from the police will very likely increase.

I'd say the real problem is that most adults are vastly disconnected to their bodies. This is caused by accumulation of tension. School teaches a bunch of subjects, but they don't talk about body awareness/relaxation. I have this hypothesis that doing physical exercises with a tensed body is worse than not doing any exercise at all.

“Strictly speaking there are no enlightened beings; there is only enlightened activity.” — Suzuki Roshi

We are humans. Humans are mammals. And mammals need the touch and affection that you mentioned. “We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.” — Dalai Lama Meditation, for example, is used sometimes as an escape to not deal with other people. It becomes a form of isolation. You just need to find a handful of close friends who you can fulfill your love/belongingness needs. With that, you will likely feel easier to interact with people in general.

In my experience, deep connection requires patience to cultivate the friendship. Yes, there are some occasions where you instantly feel connected to a person you just met, but this is unusual. Whenever I meet a stranger, I normally use small talk and let the conversation flow naturally. I find that if I force dense topics, it usually throws people off. Not everybody wants to have the conversation of their lives, especially if they just met you. I have a handful of close friends who I "satisfy" my need for deep conversations. Then, with other people, I talk about simple and light stuff.

That’s crazy, man... Psychedelics are not toys. Bad trips can be extremely scary and traumatizing. I agree with Leo.

Sorry you’re going through that... I don’t have any advice to give you. I just hope things get better for you. Is there counseling in your school?

This is very common. Chances are, you have a lot of pent-up energy in your body. Osho talks a lot about this: https://www.osho.com/meditate/meditation-tool-kit/questions-about-meditation/is-it-good-to-start-with-a-sitting-meditation-or-an-active-meditation I think you should switch to a different practice, something that you actually use your body.

I'm no expert, but it does sound like sleep paralysis,

Maybe he's jealous...

Nice =) Carl Sagan has an excellent essay on marijuana: http://marijuana-uses.com/mr-x/

It must feel terrible to go through that =/ I think it would be helpful if you could give us more background story of why you were hospitalized. Psychotic breaks? I bet... it's humiliating to be treated like they did to you...

Buy the booklist

You want a trophy? Lol

I just read the synopsis of that movie, and it seems very interesting. To me, canabbis can certainly increase mindfulness. In some of my best yoga classes, I was high. Hiking in nature also becomes much more insightful. I prefer to smoke on only some ocassions, because I feel like if you smoke weed too much and mindlessly, IDK, it sort of loses its, if you will, sacred power. Let me see if I really understood that part: so you're somewhat obsessed with cleaning, and you're also spending time seeing yourself in the mirror. I don't understand the last part though. Who are you creeping out with "intense eye contact"? Another thing: how are you feeling mentally? Does it feel like it was indeed a "mini psychotic break"? Btw - I don't think the guys you said were high on here are actually high lol

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Perfect! Here's from Wikipedia: Yin and yang describes how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another. @NoSelfSelf I recommend the episode "How to Be a Man (Part 2)". Really good episode!

Meh...

Be careful not to turn that into a neurosis, or even to use meditation as an escape. I used to do those long sittings everyday for multiple hours. Turned out, I wasn't becoming more aware. I was becoming desensitized to reality. Because I didn't want to deal with life, I'd think, "Screw everything. I'll meditate. That's the most important thing I can do in life." After a while, I became attached to meditation, thinking that I "needed" to sit in order to live a good life. Sitting upright for a very long time without moving can be very painful, especially for people here in the west who have terrible posture. Sitting for too long in an incorrect position can be unhealthy. But here comes the masochist thing: I started to enjoy the uncomfortable sensations that would emerge during the sitting. That is not a positive thing. It's like enjoying suffering. I'm not saying that's your case. I'm just sharing my personal experience.

Attention to breath is actually a concentration technique. After you have enough concentration, you start paying attention to bodily sensations. I don’t know where you live, but total silence is rare. I guess, you can focus on the silence in-between sounds. One thing I like to do is, to notice the arising and passing of sounds. This helps develop equanimity. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. I usually do short sessions.

I agree with @cetus56 I think you need to find a way to release the built-up tension in your body. Otherwise meditation will drive you nuts.