Gabriel Antonio

I've had that. I used to be pretty hardcore, like I would allow mosquitoes to bite me, meditate in very cold temperatures, and that sort of thing. In all cases, I would eventually get desensitized and would get used to the discomfort. Looking in retrospect, all that "endurance of pain" was useless and unhealthy. I was just feeding my spiritual ego, like "Look at all the things I can do! I just meditated in excruciating pain for 2 and a half hours without moving. I'm getting so advanced!" Nothing could be further from the truth...

I've been where you are. I used to do many hours per day of Do Nothing. But in reality, all I did was daydreaming. And I assure you: half-assing meditation will do nothing for you. It might even worsen your situation (emotions, neurosis, problems etc.) The goal is to observe the natural activity of the mind, which is very different from getting lost in it. Otherwise, you're feeding the whole thing. I only had moments of, "OH! This is what meditation is all about" when I began taking Tai Chi classes. Using my body helps a lot to stay grounded. Sitting meditation doesn't really work for me.

Why do you want to "get enlightened"?

Very interesting... I wiill check it out. Thanks for sharing.

@kieranperez nice! Leo is a passionate guy, that’s something nobody can deny. In my case, I’d say the same as you, and also how to understand the people-pleasing mentality I have had since my adolescense. And how to be released from its grips.

I have experienced something similar to what you described. Here's how a typical SDS would go for me: Discomfort starts to arise, but I choose to be motionless. My body is rigid, but I keep myself still anyway. The pain gets more intense. But I resist. My body ends up getting even more tensed (but I don't notice). At some point, I get acclimated to the pain. It's still uncomfortable but is not bothering me anymore. I'm now, in a twisted way, enjoying being in that state. I wanna stop it (like I naturally would), but at the same time I sort of like it. Then, when the session is over, I feel hyper-aware. @aurum How does that differ from your experience? I look forward to hearing from you.

You can watch a video before tripping. I recommend the strange loop one. It will greatly influence your trip.

Isn't that masochism?

That's a misconception. There's no need to kill anything. Meditation is a systematic training of the mind. It's similar to taming a wild horse. Or training a puppy. The goal is not to kill the mind but to make it your ally, like a loyal dog. That's actually called numbness. Pain is essential for our survival. It's how the body tells that something's not right. The traditional advice is, "Stay mindful of the sensation." But sometimes you need to seek an alternative to dealing with the pain. Trying to be mindful is not always the answer... By the way you express yourself, I think you might need psychological help.

Not really. The mind secretes thoughts, just like the mouth salivates. There are ways to calm down the mind though. Probably not. In your case, I think the Do Nothing technique will only make the monkey mind go even crazier. I speak from personal experience.

That's a very good question. Have you seen Leo's video on this? I'd say to deliberately do things imperfectly.

Abuse of authority from the police will very likely increase.

I'd say the real problem is that most adults are vastly disconnected to their bodies. This is caused by accumulation of tension. School teaches a bunch of subjects, but they don't talk about body awareness/relaxation. I have this hypothesis that doing physical exercises with a tensed body is worse than not doing any exercise at all.

“Strictly speaking there are no enlightened beings; there is only enlightened activity.” — Suzuki Roshi

We are humans. Humans are mammals. And mammals need the touch and affection that you mentioned. “We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection.” — Dalai Lama Meditation, for example, is used sometimes as an escape to not deal with other people. It becomes a form of isolation. You just need to find a handful of close friends who you can fulfill your love/belongingness needs. With that, you will likely feel easier to interact with people in general.

In my experience, deep connection requires patience to cultivate the friendship. Yes, there are some occasions where you instantly feel connected to a person you just met, but this is unusual. Whenever I meet a stranger, I normally use small talk and let the conversation flow naturally. I find that if I force dense topics, it usually throws people off. Not everybody wants to have the conversation of their lives, especially if they just met you. I have a handful of close friends who I "satisfy" my need for deep conversations. Then, with other people, I talk about simple and light stuff.

That’s crazy, man... Psychedelics are not toys. Bad trips can be extremely scary and traumatizing. I agree with Leo.

Sorry you’re going through that... I don’t have any advice to give you. I just hope things get better for you. Is there counseling in your school?

This is very common. Chances are, you have a lot of pent-up energy in your body. Osho talks a lot about this: https://www.osho.com/meditate/meditation-tool-kit/questions-about-meditation/is-it-good-to-start-with-a-sitting-meditation-or-an-active-meditation I think you should switch to a different practice, something that you actually use your body.

I'm no expert, but it does sound like sleep paralysis,

Maybe he's jealous...

Nice =) Carl Sagan has an excellent essay on marijuana: http://marijuana-uses.com/mr-x/

It must feel terrible to go through that =/ I think it would be helpful if you could give us more background story of why you were hospitalized. Psychotic breaks? I bet... it's humiliating to be treated like they did to you...