Sevi

@username I've just learned the exact meaning of 'confiding in others'; now I understand the question. This is an important question. I think the awareness level of both parties really matter here. The one who is considering confiding in, needs to have some pre-work done: like knowing where his/her vulnerability level is ( for the sake of protecting himself/herself, more than bothering the other) and should have the ability to scan the other person if she/he has enough awareness to share. How strongly they can connect to each other, especially in an emotional level is important too. Relying on the others for emotional support is such a sensitive important topic, that I wanna write it later. It's not a 'bad or good; should or shouldn't' think... it is 'every single time and in every single situation is a different one' thing; mostly depending on both parties' capabilities... and it'll be unique and different in every relationship.

@username I'm sorry! All of my nerves kicked in when I read the posts I don't know what nerve you touched in but,I got all defensive all of a sudden My ego has got something to tell me I guess.. so back to work then, thank you though! Love you!

This depends on where the individual is... that's why having a master is so important; the deeper the levels the sneakier the traps... sometimes ego gets so elusively convincing then it gets so easy to deceive ourselves unfortunately, especially if you are alone on your own. And again depends on what type of emotional issue we are talking about.. generalization can be such a mislead..

In Hero's Journey, have you seen any of them, sitting alone with their thoughts? Don't be mistaken, Hero's journey is the journey within: deep down into your own soul... but to get there is ironically through the outside world true growth and realisation comes from uncomfort; honestly if you want any enlightenment in your life, you better be willing to take all that dirty, ugly business of the interactions in daily basis. Sitting and philosophizing around surely will give you a regretful life.@username

It's beautiful❤

To start following Actualized.org was a pivotal shift in my life; not that I wasn't doing pd before, but, I think it's because: It encourages and empowers my consciousness to grasp the very core essence of life and being alive; so I can stay connected to that essence constantly. So I can stay awake and appreciated which is the basis of my happiness (I believe) And in emotional level, it makes me feel safe in the world; I don't know exactly why I feel that way, but probably because it gives us eligible/useable tools to deal with everything.. and may be also seeing Leo very committed working on the subject by devotion and caring which supports the society in a constant basis, creates that safety feeling. I assume... And if we would like to do a comparison between millions of dollars and conventional success and so on; it comes back to your ability to value "being" (all the videos are great but) That's why my favorite video so far is: "As good as your life will ever get" one.

And I will definitely eat some salmon

Funny and yummy I'm not expert or something on diets; but if you use your brain a lot, think a lot your body uses your sugar resources for it. You ate protein stuff in the diner, then if you focused your mind kind of intensely in the meditation, your body might be saying you that your blood sugar level is getting low.. Put some ice cubes on your liver while meditating, you'll sense a sudden silence in your mind? you can try that before sleeping to see the effect.. May be I'll write you the relationship between the sugar and the liver and the thoughts later? good night! (Oh I wanna eat salmon right now! But too late.. I'm almost about to sleep..)

Sounds really exciting! Thanks for sharing.

Well, that's why it's the one on earth, you are more than welcome to be selfish and egotistical; and that is why we call it 'heaven'!!!! No rush to be on the the actual one!

I have changed continents a while ago, it is a real growth and for sure an emotional labor. When you get together, probably it'll be much easier for you to figure it out. You know each other for months, so most likely she also has her things in upcoming years as well too. Wishing you all the best

Sexy is a state of mind which allows you to feel comfortable in your own skin and connected to your true self (and to the source) That state of mind is generally is the consequence of confidence, Confidence is information/knowledge in application. To get better at something in life, which can be anything, and eventually master it can really allows us to be on the path of being and feeling sexy.

@username Welcome to the heaven on earth

@Whywolf Sometimes you face your weaknesses simply on a forum board, which shows your strength; Sometimes a 'masters in psychology' might be a protection of your social image toward other female competitions; What matters is the intend behind the action. If you are open to discuss your intelligence, you are intelligent enough. While evaluating ourselves, rather than to be 'learned humble', we need to learn to be objective and realistic. Undervaluing ourselves as women is not a virtue or spiritual maturity, it is delusional mislead from our paths. Love you.

You look eager to take action on this, it's kind of rare, congrats! Then, keep in mind that, what you see can be completely different than what really is.. also remember, women are different than men, they connect to one man; they're kind of wired like that -if she doesn't have any other issues-; they are not like men. Don't mess your relation up with wrong ideas, just share your uncomfort and your needs.

@Falk I don't know where you are in your relationship but your girl has a right to know about this (I mean it's not easy to share such things but..) so she can have a chance to build intimacy with you; actually not just your feelings but also the social male climate too; so she can rank others accordingly. And if you figure out that if there is a real issue in the relationship then at least you both can map out your lifes in a realistic way so that there can still be a trustworthy common ground. Roots and causes can be very personal but in a relationship jealousy is not a solo sport. You might like this book: "Romantic Jealousy: Causes, Symptoms, Cures; Dr. Ayala Malach Pines"

@LowPlanetary In such case, probably you are asked (let's say by life) and about to improve some necessary skills/awareness which most likely you'll need later; or you are taking part in a bigger picture which somehow you don't know about yet: I'm gonna write 4 stories: 1. Butterfly A man watches a butterfly coming out of its pod. The little thing struggles a lot for a very long time; after a while the guy can't stand watching it struggle like that and takes a scissors and cuts the pod to help it out, but with those wrinkled very weak wings the butterfly ever flies. What this good intentioned innocent guy doesn't understand there, is: That is the universe's way to make the butterflies' those very silky delicate wings strong enough to carry its own body and to be capable to fly. The more struggle the butterflies has, the more flaps its wings, so it becomes stronger and stronger, when it is strong enough to carry the body then it naturally tears and leaves the pod. 2. Diamond Diamond is a piece of coal which stayed under huge pressure 1 to 3 billion years. And its chemical structure remains exactly the same as coal: carbon4. When this little piece of coal sees himself under such unbearable huge pressure for that long amount of time, while his friends having a very good easy time; he feels very upset, defeated, under unfairness of life, and thinks that God really doesn't like him since not helping him out of that billion years of pressure. Then he comes out as the naturally hardest substance of earth which is impossible to be scratched or crushed by none of the other substances. 3. Bee This bee at the window of the house tries to fly out through the glass. Then the human takes a newspaper opens the window pushes the bee out, bee flies back, human hits on it, bee flies back, ...on and on... till it flies out. During that struggle bee keeps asking himself: why in the hell, this life hits on my head on and on this harsh? What did I do wrong? Why am I not a beloved creature by this universe?: when you know your life purpose; where to go: universe knows it through you too and generally likes to help? 4. Ant Two guys go to a mountain to climb. One of them wears contact lenses like 6 degrees something. Accidentally in the middle of the journey he drops one of them: a real big issue for them. While looking around the sun shines on the lens which is carried by an ant. They get so so happy and pick it up. Meanwhile the ant prays to the universe: "why in earth that I am carrying this 'whatever God knows what this weirdo thing is' on me?!! What the heck?! It's not food, it won't serve me, I'm wasting my time... like thank you universe!!!" : in the bigger picture you might be serving something bigger; so if universe brings you somethin to carry, you might not understand the weirdness of it yet but there still can be a reason.

@Simon Håkansson And there are a couple more layers to this topic: This father figure is actually a good one -he is just lacking some abilities-: by his action he is teaching the kid when facing the challenge of choosing between your own good or the beloved ones favor, it is ok to choose your own good, especially if it's a game setting. (Yes, it doesn't sound that spiritual at first but actually it is: you cannot get into higher levels of spiritualism without consciously serving to your ego first, otherwise you'll be half hearted, part of yourself will keep pulling you down) if he had given it up to the kid, later in life the kid could have been much more confused about following his own good. Father allows the kid here: he allows the kid even winning against the father himself later. (As we see here, the kid is pursuing actively how to win and as a bonus how to loose too. Rather than waiting life to happen to him or just letting others "do") What's lacking: If the father takes the kid after the game and says: 'you know what, you scared the shit out of me that as a leader of this family that I am loosing my reputation/my male image. It's an awesome job that you're challenging me this early, I'll pay even closer attention to you in the next game! Good job kid!' Than the child could learn earlier to differ the self from the game and from the love they have to each other. BUT, the common mistake here is this: when we understand the other party (the father); because all of our anger and revengeful feelings naturally fade out as a result of that understanding, we just forgive: well, we cannot? (we often don't know what real forgiveness is) why can't we? Probably unknowingly but still, this father is lacking some abilities and hurting the child. If the child won't take constructive action toward to the father and the situation; father will continue to doing so in other forms, it is for sure. While dealing with low consciousness / lack of consciousness situations, we need to pay utmost clear attention to our boundaries with those ones and most of the cases we need to apply masculine compassion (Leo explains what it is in one of his videos) In this scenario "being used" is the cause of hurt. So dealing with the perpetrator in the the right way is important, but also to differ good intentioned ones is important too. What's that mean? Our boundaries should be semi-permeable: if there is a good thing we should be able to take it in too. Last but not least, a little story from Ramses: When he is about the be the teenager, he has to prove through a test that he is becoming a man, so that this pony tail can be cut as the representation of it; so his father the king takes him to the forest to kill one of those big bulls. The father leaves him alone with a sword and steps aside. After a while a big bull shows up, runs fast enough to Ramses; his hands shaking he barely holds the sword; bull keeps approaching, when the bull is about to hit Ramses; thinking that, that's the last moment of his life he closes his eyes. In a split second his father jumps out and kills the bull then right away he cuts his pony tail off. And Ramses looks at his father and says "but dad, I couldn't kill the bull?!" And the father replies: "You didn't. But you have killed the fear which was expected from you, you'll gain the rest of the power on your way"

? Sending you the stop button?◀◼▶ In case?

Oh,I see.. Whatever, you're so cute anyways?

We can restate 'unvictim behaviours' also as 'being in charge of your part' this leads us to take responsibility of our part: even very simple small things like: Cleaning your desk at work or washing your dishes/clothes etc. in a daily or weekly basis, supports the sensation of being in charge.

@Simon Håkansson Seems that, it's about you and your father. "I made a blunder = my father hurt me (by winning the game): if I had been careful/smarter, I wouldn't have been hurt: I'll find my ways to be smart: play chess; I'll find stronger opponents than me: creating the opportunity to get smarter and smarter: so closing that gap more and more: so I will not get hurt again / so that my wound will recover." Versus: "My father needed winning that game so desperately: so much that he even didn't mind hurting a child's feelings: He was/is that desperate to win (thus not to lose.)" Where on the other hand you are someone who can comfortably start a topic about losing games. So, that problem seems originally your father's rather than yours. You are just hurt. But someone who was that desperate already couldn't have been better than that. Father yourself. Buy some books about how to be a father for a child and apply it on yourself. Or imagine how would you behave to little enthusiastic kid.

@Shin Thank you for the list, it's really nice. Well? I was not gonna write, but I couldn't help it?: Shin, no offense but, is she a software program or something?? 'you' decided 'she' can be happier with someone else, then led her go; and then she was: "ooh.. himm...ok, so I go" and went away? I mean.. ladies generally don't listen that well and don't follow such orders, as far as I know? If she was with you for 6 months or so, she might be thinking slightly different than you; are you sure that you are communicating with her in a clear way? Things can be different than what you think. You are funny? probably that's one of the reasons she likes you..

@Meretagh Well, darling we grow though pain and we all are afraid; but only the ones who dare to be hopeful and capable of holding a positive attitude and expectations toward life can reach out to those unique stages that not everyone can.. If Edison would have given up after his 872nd trial, today you and me couldn't be reaching out to each other; and probably he had some frustrations too, probably many of them: you are chasing after something which is not even existing yet; but he didn't quit and every night his determination lights your house. Sometimes big pains can be seeds of such unusual things, you never know.. Keep swimming?

@Meretagh Hi.. You are so young❤ and so sweet.. First of all, everything heals in life, no matter what and free from the causes.. and you grow stronger each time (and I am not talking about toughening up, you grow out of the clarity and wisdom you gain) Well, if she is yours: then she is yours. Nothing in this world can take away your belongings from you. We are all tenants here, aren't we? Till the moment of your death the things which are supposed to be around you will be there. Actually it is so out of question. There is Carl Jung's theory of Synchronicity: there are some lab tests about it: when an atom's particles start to rotate in a direction, they observe one another's does it the same way at the same time too. It is most likely that she is experiencing the same emotions, probably same way. You have communicated so well here, I don't think it's your issue. Being in love and socialising with girls are too different things. It's like swimming: you can do whatever exercises out of the sea which will help you a bit but none of them will simulate the real situation and environment. When you open your heart like this, it's impossible not to love you for a girl especially if you are sensing a connection. You might have been done something wrong but you will be forgiven; because it's clear that you care and give a shit; girls are connected to emotions, she will see that. So, what to "do" ? When you meditate, what do you do? You sit there and let go of the control, isn't it? If you say: I don't want this desire to control my life, most likely you'll try to stop it or try to "do" something about it; then you'll be connecting to the desire more. Not easy but: accept the situation and if you can enjoy the situation: people die without having a little glimpse of love and connection; if you got the chance to feel such deep emotions, can't we say that it's a lucky thing that you are experiencing life in depth in such young age? So let her be, she'll come around. Meanwhile your emotions will clear up. About life purpose: sometimes you work on it, you dictate; sometimes life has got something to tell you: (generally experienced like enforces the conditions on you) in that case: as in a Sufi's way: you say a warm welcome to them no matter what, because they are sent from 'The Lover' and those periods of time you go along with the flow. You pay attention to the signs and continue to live your life with your best genuine effort: so stay humble keep working on the things occurring in front of you. Keep your heart loving and open, the ones who can love, never loses any games. Ignorance is the major reason of all the wrongness we created on the world don't go down that path. You will be loved and appreciated. ??