TimStr

You would master self-acceptance and yet at the same time continue to work on functioning optimally in the world, because at some point became able to hold the paradox of acceptance vs. continuous improvement.

All of us surely would! But most of the time, stuff like this fails, because noone steps forward and takes leadership. Let's make it as simple as possible. We need to agree on two things: 1. A date: 3rd of october is coming up. Why not meet at Tag der deutschen Einheit? 2. A location: That's probably the most difficult part. I know, that there are a couple people from Baden-Württemberg, I've read, that there are some in Hamburg, Munich and Berlin. I guess, there would be some austrian and swiss people, too. So let's do it like this: Anyone who is free on 3rd of october and genuinely willing to commit to investing time and money into a 3-5h trip send me a PM with your location. I will try to figure out a city, that is fairly accessable to all of us. (I guess, we will end up with something like Kassel or Frankfurt, cities relatively centeral in germany.)

I consider emperor Nero a zen-devil, too. He and Marcus Aurelius shared the same teacher, Seneca. The latter two are to be considered two of the main figures in stoic philosophy. I am not sure if they practiced some form of non-dual inquiry, but guessing from the way, they lived their lifes, I think, that they were somewhat spiritually realized. At least regarding the detachment aspect of enlightenment. But all three of them lived out their stoa in a different way. Seneca was more the yogi kind of guy and others wanted to learn philosophy from him, Marcus Aurelius went full on life purpose, becoming a great conscientious but at the same time extremely modest emperor after Neros death, and Nero himself just went all nuts, burned Rome several times and ordered Seneca to commit suicide.

@Max_V Here are a few ways that work to inspire me (I am a musician): Explore, what other artists are doing. Just spend some time going to galleries, browsing the internet or watching a movie. Get some input. Face the blank canvas. Sometimes it's not actually lack of inspiration, that's holding you back, but resistance to the work of coming up with something. Set a timer for 2h or do and commit to spend that time to do nothing else but drawing. (That's basically what The war of art by Steven Pressfield is about.) Challange yourself to do something new. Maybe try not to create a character but something you have never drawn before. Meditation. Whenever I sit down to meditate my monkey mind sort of goes through a few phases. At some point it tries to distract me with creative ideas about whatever I thought about a lot, that week. It works great with the first tip. Hope that helps.

@Shiva I will relocate to Stuttgart this September, would be a pleasure to meet you!

Objective causality starts to break down if you break down your minds tendency to rationalize and conceptualize. If you say, that it must have rained at night, because the ground is wet, that seems true for you, because your mind is used to think that way. It's because the concept rain exists in your thinking. Try to imagine how your world would be if that wasn't the case. How would your world be without the concept of rain? How would it be with no concepts at all? The fact, that it might be hard to imagine shows you, that you're stuck in this way of thinking. Your stuck in your concept of reality and unable to see it for what it actually is. Now it may be useful to conceptualize to some degree in order to function in the ordinary world, but conceptualizing gets in the way of truth seeking.

@sleeperstakes Some clarification first: Pickup is essentially about making a girl want to have sex with you. Dating includes but is not limited to that. I find, that Radical Honesty (read Brad Blanton) is another great concept to be applied to dating. In your post, you're talking about relationships, though, which is a whole different story. Do not expect to be good at having healthy relationships, just because you are good at dating. For having a healthy relationship it's more about non manipulatory relating (read David Daida for that) and being detached (read Marcus Aurelius) than having dating skills. In fact, there are many pickup guys, that never have a successful relationship, because their pickup mindsets eventually get in the way, so it might even be counter productive for you. I think one of the biggest lies, humans keep telling to themselves, is that they're naturally good at something, they haven't done. I find this to be true especially for relationships. Expecting, that your first few relationships are going to fail, is a healthy sobering attitude because being close to another human being (besides your family) is a skill that has to be developed. So don't get upset about your failures. Take every new relationship as an opportunity to practice and learn.

@Ilya Firstly, you can't become absolute infinity because you already are it. But I guess, this answer won't satisfy you. Secondly, don't expect, that these kind of realizations have any particular order, they're all absolute, and thus the concept of no self and of absolute infinity are basically just different ways to concepualize the ultimate nature of reality, like two sides of the coin. I find that there's not really any hierarchy to them, it's more a matter of recognizing what you experience as one or the other. Personally, I have hints of infinity on various psychedelics but haven't had an experience that I qualify for true no self, yet. So my practical advice to you would be: do psychedelics

@WaterfallMachine Get into Shinzen Youngs work, he offers you a whole periodic table of mindfulness techniques. Nobody can tell you what will work for you, you have to figure it out for yourself. But I can recommend a few things, that worked for me. Fist thing, you could try is just basic mindfulness with labeling (see, hear, feel). The point of this is to create a continuous stream of concentration that you can shine on one event after another in your experience. This may help you with the general overwhelm. Another thing, you could try, is what Shinzen calls Focus on Flow. Instead of labeling specific events you focus your attention on the continuity of experience. You basically create one big conceptual object out of it, that you then concentrate on. For example, whenever I have to move through large crowds (at train stations, airports, etc.) I focus on the flow of the movement in my entire visual field. I try to see the movement of every person and also the movement of the space around me relative to me as I am walking. This allows me to navigate through crowded places very effectively and effortlessly and I enjoy it to feel kind of merging with the general movement of the scene before my eyes.

I can recommend anything by Alejandro Jodorowsky, especially The Holy Mountain. The best movie about enlightenment I've seen and one of the most grotesque, mind blowing, awe-inspiring and excruciating movies out there. Expect being blown away. Also I am a fan of Stanley Kubric (check 2001: A Space Odyssey, Eyes Wide Shut and Clockwork Orange), the Wachowskis (Matrix, Cloud Atlas), Charlie Kaufmann (Being John Malkovich, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Anomalisa), Ken Russell (The Devils) and also Christipher Nolan (Interstellar, Inception, Prestige, Memento).

I have this: http://wallpaperswide.com/zen_monk-wallpapers.html

@Loreena You're life purpose is so beautiful indeed! And don't underestimate the impact you can have with it! You can literally save the planet with organic farming! Here's a movie to inspire you! If you really are into nautre and farming, this may bring you to tears: http://inhabitfilm.com/

@Henrik_Sahlen If you want to nurture healthy masculinity, read "The way of the superior man" by David Deida and translate every piece of it into reality. In my opinion, that book is the most accurate description of actualized masculinity out there. And it shows you, how to get there.

@hinawashi In my opinion, the most practical solution to pride is humor. If you are able to laugh about your own mistakes, flaws, your perfectionism and your work and success, you simply can not develope attachment to these things. The degree of which you can laugh about all these is the degree to which you are detached of them. Humor is an increadibly accurate litmus test for ego. (Yes, I think that humor is greatly related to enlightenment, especially the detachment aspect of it.) You can't possibly express your pride about something an wholeheartedly laugh about it at the same time. And you can't maintain the behavior of having to prove, that you're better then others if you laugh about yourself together with them. It works great, especially in social situations. I challenge you to crack three jokes every day about some things you are proud of and/or serious about for one week straight. Even if it may feel artificial at first, you will feel a difference!

@Visitor So how would you go about introspection to get some of there insights about yourself? Do you sit down and ask questions like: "What am I hiding from myself?" or "Why can't I let go of ...?"

I want to share this article with you. Partly just as food for thought partly to make you aware of the fact, that (from a dualistic pov) meditation and non duality work can have potentially dangerous side effects: http://www.pennlive.com/news/2017/06/york_county_suicide_megan_vogt.html Leo did talk about some meditation side effects in his Dark Side of Meditation Video but I think, that there is a general lack of information about this topic. Feel free to share your own stories.

I definately felt some adverse effects after my first retreat and experiences with psychedelics. There was this lack of meaning in things, that were meaningful before, that left me with the feeling of desolation and lead to a general sense of unease and confusion, that took a couple of days to wear off and still comes back from time to time. For example, I was overwhelmed with socialisation and being confrontet with the collective low consciousness.

Lucid dreaming is the key word. It's basically about learning how to remain fully conscious, while your mind and body fall into a dream state. You can find lessons and books on the internet. It has become a fairly popular topic in the last two or three years.

@Algida Have you considered hypnosis? A skilled therapist should be able to take you to the event and could help you to rewire it. If you struggle to picture and vizualize the event that might be a valid option. Also, in a state of hypnosis, your subconscious becomes far more accessible and malliable, so going in there and changing gets much easier.

@Jordan wang That would be my advise, too. I just did the values assesment. Towards the end, there are some assesments, that provide you with insight on why you pursue the values, you picked. Also, when you start using the values list, keep the previous assesments in mind. The purpose of the assesments before was to show you, whats meaningful to you in life. A value is an abstract label, that should represent these meaningful moments in your life. You get clear about what the meaningful thing of the expreience was and than come up with a label for that. If your label is accurate, you can use it as a compass to guide you towards more meaningful experiences. Also keep in mind, that your values might change as you gain more life experience. Think about what was meaningful to you, before you heard about personal developement. Most likely not the same things as today. So its good to come back to the assesment from time to time and reevaluate if that set of words, you will generate still fits with your deepest, meaningful exsperiences.

Hi, I am from Baden-Württemberg as well. I am currently living in Konstanz.

@ItsMeIA WhatsApp is no good for any kind of intimate or honest communication. You learned your lesson right there. If you want to have REAL honest talks, do it when the two of you are alone in an relaxed environment. The other person being present, I find, is crucial because you also want the physical and emotional connection you don't get if your just exchanging information with WhatsApp. I remember that there's a great chapter in Brad Blantons book Radical Honesty about how to practice honesty and telling the truth to each other in relationships. He says, that telling the truth is crucial for making an intimate relationship work. And he advocates telling the truth with absolutely no respect for the other persons ego BUT in a very kind and loving manner. I think it's part of Leo's booklist. It's a great and fun read and, although written by a western psychotherapist, it taps right in the heart of the matter of what truth on a spiritual level is about. Make sure to check that one out.

We had a thread about quitting alcohol over at the health forum, not too long ago. Check it out if you want the How to.

I would like to elaborate on this one. There are a lot of nutriants, one can be deficient of, mostly micronutriants (vitamins and minerals) and essential fatty acids. But if you're living in a developed country and you have enough to eat, protein deficieny is nothing you have to worry about. And for good reason. Some ammount of protein is present in every animal and plant food. Remember, they're the building blocks of life (at least in a scientific sense). So, basically: If you're eating food, you get protein! In my opinion picking the right source of protein is far more important than worrying about the ammount. Its hard to come up with a diet, that falls below the guideline daily ammount (even with entirely plant based diets), exept for fasting or starvation diets. This myth on binging on protein in my opinion is mostly created by the supplement and protein powder industry. They want you to be neurotic about the protein to sell their products. Just like the myth, that you need dairy for having healthy bones. So what are the best sources then? Heres my list: beans and lentills: These are awesome for you, because they have all the great stuff of plant foods (minerals, vitamins, fibers) AND of animal foods (iron, b vitamins, and lots of protein) in them. Also, you get an extra bonus of active enzymes if you let them sprout, before eating. whole Rice and Pseudocerial are packed with protein and starches. If you aren't familiar with the term pseudocerial, these are seeds of non-grasses that can be used in much the same way as regular cereals (wheat, rye...). To name a few: Quinoa, Buckwheat, Chia and Amaranth. They provide you with the energy and nutriants of grains but they don't contain gluten. fish, eggs and white meat (preferably organic and pasture raised): Choose the best and healthiest sources of animal protein. In my opinion, animal products are unnecessairy of a healthy diet. But if you want to eat them, invest in the highest quality possible. Stay away from red meat, since its found to cause bowel cancer. Guess what, this all boils down to eat more plant foods and go as high quality (organic) as possible, which are some of the other points, that the experts commonly agree on. If you're not looking to build muscle, just take these as a guide and stop worrying about protein. Sources: mostly Michael Greger and Jimmy Bowden

Here are a few things, that helped me: Get the right motivation Having a positive motivation is crucial! Don't do anything, because of avoidance. You can't avoid your way to success. So if you want to stop drinking, don't do it to avoid hangover or a lack of productivity, but because, you can see the health benefits of this for your future. Vizualize regularely: Take 5 min and picture clearly in you mind how you are still all fit and healthy in your 70s. Picture how you play with your grandchildren... Allow yourself to get emotional about it. (The best vizualizations are the emotional ones.) Estimate how much money this will save you over the course of 1 month, 1 year... and what you can get for that money. That alone may be a strong kick in the ass. Remind yourself. The easiest reason to fail at anything is just to forget. Eliminate temptation Throw out all alcohol, you store at home. No exception. Try to stay away from bars, clubs and any other places, that encourage alcohol consumtions. They profit of you being drunk. And you better bet that they want to profit. At least in the beginnig, not being tempted is the easiest way to go. After you get used to it, you can actually start to go partying sober. For me personally, getting to a club and dancing is best, when I am as mentally clear as possible. I just love to feel actually connected with the experience. Be ok with being the "weird" one. Especially in the beginning, peer pressure can be very strong. Others will point to you and ask, if you're ill, if you joined a catholic monistairy, or if you're just being a dick, just because you behave differently. People will laugh at you. People will be seriously worried about you. So at first, don't join your friends when they're out, drinking. After a few weeks, when you built up some momentum, you can meet them and get exposed to some social pressure. This is a hard one: Consider breaking ties with people. If you have a circle friends, that you just meet to get drunk, this may be the right option. It takes a while until it becomes normal to them and to you. In the mean time fake it, till you make it. Act, as if its the most ordinairy thing on earth. Don't justify yourself. The moment you start justifying you secretly admit, that you have to justify for not drinking. But you don't! Volunteer as a driver, when you‘re out with friends. Best excuse ever. Do it step by step For most peoples minds, its hard to commit to a "never again in my entire life". So commit to stay sober for today. Tomorrow make the same commitment. If you're out with your friends on satureday, just commit to stay sober for that satureday. Next satureday do the same. Be mindful of any other bad stuff, you start doing to avoid feeling sober. Of cause, its no good to stop drinking, if you start doing cocaine instead. But there can be more mild stuff than that. Smoking, energy drinks, binge eating... That may not nescessairely happen, but just watch out for any other bad habits, that may sneak in and take the place, that drinking had. Get good a sense of how you feel. Being sober all the time is an acquired taste, but after a few weeks of no intoxicants, you will love the feeling of being clear mentally. Your body will reward you with great performance and an overall vibrant and fresh feeling. You get a greater sense of connection to any experience. This really doubtails with the concept of "Awareness Alone Is Curative", see: www.youtube.com/watch?v=qy_INVm_Pw0 Last but not least: Meditate you're way out of addiction! Just to be clear: Drinking may not nescessairly be considered an addiction by most people because drinking regularely is kind of a standard in western society. But I consider addiction anything that you feel bad about mentally, if you had to stop doing it even if they're no physical withdrawl symptoms. The source of all addictions is the need to feel different, because you can't stand how the present moment is. Meditation is the best way, to get in touch and learn to cope with the present moment. Crucial video for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5ZYV-IMIUU It's the best habit, I picked up in my life. Have faith! You can do it!