Shin

Get a room you two ???

Ok, you probably don't want to know this, but here it goes: Dolphins kill their babies to fuck their female more often. If that doesn't work, they rape them, in gang …

It's not about the size, but how big you can make it feel like with your masculine presence deep within us

I'm starting to be uninterested to do almost anything except sitting and being. It's not that doing anything else is boring, I can actually enjoy it if I want, but there is just no point to do those activities anymore. I was wondering just a few weeks ago when I'll finally have the will to get this to the next step and actually do some real work for several hours a day, then just like everything else it just happens after a certain point of time, by itself. Not that it was easy to get there, but it's not me who make the final decision to change something for good. It's more like at some point the will to appear by itself, and I just notice it and embrace it. From now on I don't know what will I actually do with all this free time. Meditate for more than 2 hours a day seems overkill, even though doing that as a challenge might be interesting. I was more thinking about just sitting and being, probably doing some self-inquiry too. Now all that being said, I have no idea what I will do anyway, because like I said it doesn't feel like I'm really in control, even though it feels like it from a surface level. I just know from that point on, that I will use most of my free time to discover what I am, or simply be what I am without knowing it, simply because I can't do something else. When I did self-inquiry today, I realized something interesting again. I can't be conscious of a part of my body without having a mental image of it. As subtle as it is, I can't feel my body without having a 3rd person image of it, even if it's very blurry or almost indiscernible without paying close attention. It is as if I can't feel the raw sensation without some identification. I remember very vividly in some dreams that I could feel the raw perceptions without any identification, which resulted in no mental image too. It doesn't even make sense anyway, why would I need to have a mental image of a perception, can't I just feel the perception and knowing what it is without a mental projection ? Another thing I noticed, is that my attention is always either on the body or the mind. It really feels like it's forced, as if somehow I was only, and on purpose, experiencing this body/mind and nothing else. Like I am blocked in this body/mind, and it doesn't feel quite right, something is amiss. The last insight I had, and this one seems very simplistic and straightforward, but it really isn't. The insight is that you have to be, be so fully there that you become aware of what you always have been. That seems like a really stupid insight to read, but in practice when you have it it changes how you do everything. There is no race or need to go anywhere, no pressure to meditate or self-inquiry enough, not even a need for it. But this is when it gets paradoxical, it's that you know that all those things aren't really necessary, but they are interesting to do nonetheless. When you've done your hours at work, when you've socialize a bit with your friends, did your healthy habits of the day, there is nothing else to do anyway, except just to sit and be there, being alive and feeling it, not trying to. There is no need to try to be, you already are What I did: 5 minutes affirmations of being honest 1h30 of meditation 30 minutes of self-inquiry 30 minutes of reading 1h45 of taking notes of the last video of Leo our lord and savior 20 minutes of work out

I don't know if it's the right thing to do, just that it worked for me. You could also ask yourself how being a victim actually help you: How much suffering does it brings How much time do you lose thinking negatively How it doesn't help and even make suffer other people etc

Did you try to simply watch the thoughts patterns without judging them for an extended period of time (several months) ? (I'm not taunting you, I'm really asking)

Please gentlemans, we need to know.

@Azote How is your mental state on a typical day, on the Week-end (or other days without responsabilities) and on a stressful day (exams/interviews/social gathering where you don't know anyone). By mental state, I mean your emotions, and what your internal voices says.

Can you give more examples of things that have changed for you, How you backslided compare to those changes, and on which scales and how often.

Some quotes to ponder:

You care too much about people opinions, you need to stop giving a fuck about what they think. Learn how to be internally grounded, and none of those issues will stay for long.

Reality checks works because you remember how your body,time/perceptions works differently in the so called "reality". You can't have reality checks in a dream that you think is reality, there is nothing to compare it to, and that's the core problem

Yesterday was a really chill day. Just took the car and drive for about 30 minutes, stopped in a pet store. I used to do that a lot when I lived at my parents, now there isn't that kind of store where I live, no animals are being sold there. Just observing how animals of the same species interact with each other is refreshing, you can literally sense they unconditionally love each other. Even if there is a fight, it is settled directly and the energy is released instantly, there is no place for any kind of negative emotions there. Before I got out of the store, I had something I didn't had in a while to such a degree. I was looking at an alley, the one where there are toys for dogs. Every objects in that alley, and everything else that I could perceive of was alive. Not alive as a sentient or moving object, but they all had the quality of consciousness in them. It happened again most of the evening, there was a subtle sense of intimacy there on top of it. This really can't be explained, because nothing changes in the domain of perceptions, and even your emotions doesn't change either. You just become conscious of something that is already here, has always been here, but that you weren't aware of. So it doesn't matter how the explanation you read is precise, it will never be the same as direct experience. This wasn't random, I intentionally set up the day to not have any distractions, even eating while being fully conscious (which I never do). I will continue to limit internet usage and answering through my phone, checking it once per hour is enough for now. What I did: 2 hours of meditation 1 hour of reading 5 minutes affirmations of being honest What I didn't do: Working out (resting day) No self-inquiry

Wake up earlier and do everything before going to work if that becomes a recurrent problem.

You see this as becoming mad, I see this as becoming sane.

Yes, because he's obviously lying. Everyone is lying if it doesn't confirm what you think of you right ?

What ? ?

Please make an another thread, we need more egotic snowflake telling everyone how they can help you, but only if you post on their thread !!!

You will feel lonely as long as you expect to find happiness in people. You will feel bored as long as you expect to find happiness in things. What do you do ? Nothing. You just sit and suffer until you can be happy doing nothing. Then every activity or person becomes a joy to experience.

I wish there was reality checks in this one ?

Ok then your problem is right there. How you think about yourself is how you will be treated by other people. You attract what you feel and think.

Because we did and you still say the same exact sentence. You don't want help You want us to confirm you what you already think.