nightrider1435

I remember the first time I experienced this during a mediation session. It happened just like you described, I felt this very intense fear come up out of nowhere, and I didn't know why. Oh man... Buckle up my friend ... And keep moving forward. This was a turning point for me the first time it happened, shit started getting crazy after that.

Damn I wish I had the chance to mediate in locations like that, I've just been doing it in my room. I'm going to Colorado in the next month or so and I'm planning to mediate out in the mountains, possibly with some Lsd hehe

I do this to myself way to much, realizing I can't keep living like this. I've been working on this the past couple months but like you said it's not easy. I'm just glad I'm catching this now at the age of 21, I just want to live in peace.

I've been feeling that magical vibe for awhile now. Daily meditation and pyschedelics is what did it for me, I take a trip once every month.

I know quite a few people who still live with their parents, one of my friends is 26 and he lives with his mom. I'm 21 and I'm most likely moving back in with my parents when my apartment lease goes up, its not a competition to move out, don't beat yourself up over that. Man just be you, who cares what other people think. Learn to simply not give a fuck about what others think of you. Personal development is going to take time, be patient with yourself. Its not going to happen over night. Love yourself, seriously. Feel free to PM me anytime if you want someone to talk to.

Holy shit that video is fucking hilarious!

I would either start with a two gram dose of mushrooms or a 100ug dose of LSD. I would suggest that you try smoking weed first before jumping in psychedelics, this shit is not to be taken lightly. If you've been sober your whole life then your going to be in for a hell of a surprise if you take a psychedelic, I just don't want a bad experience to scare you away. Don't be in a rush to unwire your naive realism paradigm, just know that once you do there is no going back. I blew that paradigm to pieces with one trip and had to deal with ego backlash, I don't regret doing it but I just want to warn you, this shit can be more hardcore then you might realize.

If you want to do it quick, then pyschedelics is the way to go. My first mushroom trip shattered my naive realism paradigm completely.

Yeah... I'm dealing with exactly this right now. This stuff is not a joke at all, I went in way to far over my head, now I'm not sure how I will climb out of this. I'm OK though, just having my ass kicked right now. I can relate to the feeling lighter every week sensation. A vipassana retreat would help me out tremendously but going to one is out of the question for me right now just because I don't have the vacation time for it yet.

I feel the same and I'm 21. I think it's the mind playing tricks on you. If you want peace from this than just try to remain mindful of this fear when it occurs, over time it tends to fizzle out and not bother you as much. Your still young, you still have a whole lifetime to live. Try not to overwhelm yourself and contemplate your death alot, this seems to help me.

@Paula_ Yeah this has happened to me twice so far since I've been on this journey. I couldn't surrender, my ego wasn't having it. Facing death is no joke at all.

I'll never forget how that high plane of existence felt while on MDMA, truly incredible. I've heard of this "candy flipping" technique before but never have personally tried that, mainly out of concern for my brain.. This sounds like one hell of a trip you had, well done!

@AleksM I'm interested. Being awake to a certain degree in this society, it's stressing me out, I think the nature sounds will help greatly with my inner peace.

Have you watched Leo's video on the dark side of mediation? It might help clear things up for you.

@Lynnel Your ready. If your intuition wants you to experience a trip than trust that. I promise you won't regret it.

You know if your ready. Don't think about it to much, just start small and do it! You seem ready from my point of view.

Very profound words right here! Open mindfulness ftw!

Agreed. The more you can remain aware the more it starts to become second nature.

From my point of view you seem kind of full of yourself. Are you lying to yourself there? Because if that was the case then this thread would probably not exist. Don't take this the wrong way, but this is just how I see it.

I've heard nothing but good reviews about the course. I'm about to take it myself, seems it would really help me out to start taking my life towards a better direction.

@kino Yeah my first mushroom trip shattered my old perspective on reality completely, there's no going back. You can't unsee this once you see it. It's not a bad thing though, reality has no limits, you only limit yourself. It's just such a mind fuck at first that the ego can try to perceive it as a bad thing when it doesn't have to be like that. Im still dealing with some shock from my first trip which was about four months ago now. It'll get better the more you reflect and accept. It's just going to take some time. I wouldn't worry about if your becoming delusional, it's just the mind trying to scare you away from what is true.

Yeah the monkey mind won't shut up, I feel you on that one. I like to remind myself that everything will be OK when the inner voice spirals into negativity, seems to work good for me. Overall, don't let the monkey mind beat you up, don't be hard on yourself, you can't control it but you don't want to fight it either. The voice says " I am miserable, I Need to doing this!, I can't be happy unless I have that...etc" just let it come and go, don't buy into that stuff. Seek out self help information that is relative to what you currently need to work on. Work on one thing at a time, don't overwhelm yourself with to much information. I would practice self love if your not already doing that. Leo has a good guided video for practicing self love. You opened the box, so I would go all the way through with it now, keep mediating and all that stuff. This is why I personally haven't taken 5 MEO yet, I already bit off more than I could chew and I'm having to deal with all that now.

Damn this sounds like my path in a nutshell too. Flat out just let the suffering exhaust itself out. You get better with accepting it, being it, loving it, as time goes on. You reach a point where running from it is impossible, you literally don't have a choice but to face it all. Feels like a weight beginning to lift off my shoulders.

@nexusoflife Hell yeah man you did awesome, good work! I was hoping you would take a trip after reading your oneness and cannabis experience! Your a very unique individual.