Spiral

It’s going to be a bit of rant, but here we go. Like many others here on the forum, I was in a problematic situation and started PD to solve the problem. Mine was a severe video game addiction. I would skip school on regularly basis and I would hate going on vacations because, you can’t play on those… One day I stopped, was 19(two years ago). Unfortunately all my friends were into videogames so I lost them in the process. So there I was: no friends, virgin, with a lack any social skill and with a lot of time on my hands. So I had a look at social dynamics and pickup, never did any pickup but my journey started here. Year 1. (19-20) So now things improved? No, not at all. It went from “meh guess my life is kind of boring” to Hell. I don’t what to go into that but, I got completely fucked up. But I technically lost my virginity so at least I got the squared away. Year 2. (20-21) So started by moving out of a drug addicts apartment, felt like good idea . It really was, because doing so got me to meet this girl, she was my new neighbor. We became friends, I made some more friends and got myself a girlfriend. During this time I also got my social skills in order. Unfortunately I also got way too confident. Year 3. (21-22) So I’m here now. Currently I’m improving my motivation levels, improving my habits and getting a realistic level of self-esteem, meditation. I also quit porn. Hopefully I can fix the damage I got the first year, but I probably need to see some kind of medical professional for that. To be honest don’t even think that could too much. Had a chat with a psychology student, never seen anyone so scared. Even I felt strange from her reaction. So I’m a bit reluctant to see a psychiatrist. But don't think that i'm crazy or something, to other people(in real life) I seem really kind yet cold.

Ascension,not sure how that works.

If you know you'll benefit from helping someone even if it's just, you feel good about it, can you really call it selflessness?

@Moreira You don't need porn or even be of mature age to have fetishes like that, genetics can impact how you react to the world and thereby make you develop fetishes. Domination/submissive fetishes are somewhat different as the have to do with your feminine/masculine side so perhaps I put that in a bad way. Had something similar, but I was neurotic as fuck But don't get me wrong i'm not inherently against fetishes, the expression of them or people who have them.

Being fanatic is the opposite of being open minded, it's the easiest way and the result of being ignorant of the fact that you know so little.

@sleeperstakes Can it help you? yeah sure, but indirectly. You don't need pickup to find girls for relationships, but it can help you with confidence and social skills. So i don't necessary think it's a bad start.

Have you even been had any life coaching and if so how as it? Did it help? How did you find the coach?

Being nice is something people usually learn by there parents. Treat her nicely blah blah blah, while their morally is not established yet so the learn to be "fake kind" and that becomes a habit.

Nice people get on my nerves that's for sure. Anyone that act separately from how they the think does, I mean they are either manipulative/selfish or nice. They can also be insecure but that's different imo

I have very minor version, she was my first close friend about a year ago. You'd think getting into a relationship would help and yeah it does but not as much as you'd think. Although being active socially is the best solution in my experience. She does come to mind not daily but maybe weekly-ish. Perhaps missing her is the best way to put it, once you had it all you don't want to settle for less I suppose.

@-Rowan I would take everything you read here with a grain of salt. People see things differently. The rep feature is a good indicator if what he/she wrote is something the rest of us agree with.

A way of looking at is that people whom have a fetish are putting on a mask, for instance a man that act superior in everyday life will often be submissive in the bedroom. Neurotic women will often like really "rape play". If you have a fetish that's alright but know that it says something about you

If you want to go to stage yellow, you must first be at stage green (obviously) and then you most come to realise the idealistic and unrealistic nature of green thinking. As in why green thinking does not work and in turn you learn to truly understand the other stages.Because green thinking is humane but people get in the way, how and why this is the case is "illuminating". Understanding people systems becomes a introduction to systems thinking.

You get used to it after a while if you hang with lots of attractive girls all the time, the opposite of the mermaid effect I suppose.

Well yeah meditation is useful for becoming more perceptive and happy in general so I guess it's helps. If that motivates you to do it great, get your ass meditating. As per enlightenment yeah,but you probably don't care much for it then.

Stop watching porn, masterbate in moderation. This will grant a better perspective of girls/women. Looking good and doing interesting things can only get you so far. A easier way to "get" girls is to enjoy being with them(without sex etc)and having them enjoy being with you. Also don't assume we are against you or that you're a bad person because of the way you think, it's very common.

@Girzo It's a problem because you treat people differently, generally in a degrading way. You struggle to create relationships with people because they to you are just pesky peasants. Among other things. @Socrates It's a phase it will go away

@Santiago I do that all the time, if it a proper place to hit on me ill explain myself but not if it's on the street. Don't get me wrong if she is after help or something sure ill give her some of my time but, not if it obvious that she just wants to the "D". If you actually want to give her the "D" you are going to have to talk to her, seeming way to hard to gets you nowhere.

Well by adding everything to a database rather then hard coded into the site through HTML and display it thought php(on the site) would make app use easier and relatively low effort to run. But I'm still critical, perhaps as a source for audio based material. "Leo talks"

What good thing is: quick, easy and emotionally effortless?

@Christian The better safe than sorry approach. Three weeks per habit is good for me. Two weeks of: I don't want to..... and one to make it stick.

I do think we need to compromise in relationships, within reason. If you just want to do your own thing do that, alone.

Sleeping consistently, as in going to bed the same time every day is key. Going up the same time everyday is also key. Sleeping between 11-12 at night is the most important hour. Proper breakfast is really important and taking a cold shower give you a lot for energy. It's all about your morning habit.

@MasterNigel an interesting read, I like the you formulate yourself. I don't want to to tell you what you "should" do, but from what I can tell, you want to start the online selling business rather than doing construction. I would feel the same if i was in your position. Either way I would tell your old friend that you don't like the way he is treating you, that is usually enought to make people stop. Make sure to do really seriously so that he really understands and no, he is not having any possible effect on you. As for what I would recommend regarding work. You either work part time for him and part time on your online business, but your really need to work on the online business then. If you don't think you can really go at it seriously then don't waste your time. You could for instance work 8 per day, 3 days construction and 2 days on your business. If your not putting down at least 8 hours those days then you're not ready yet. The other option is starting to work for him full time and when you can, get yourself somewhere to live on your own. Why? You'll become a proper adult if you do (and girls like it). You will start to take life more seriously, you can't just let a parent do it for you, sounds clique but it's an really important step in your life. Working hard has it own rewards, that grow you in more ways than one. You can always work on your online business on the side, on weekends for instance.

A video a day keeps useful things away.