Pallero

No one is 100 % straight. Is this your biggest fear? Are you sure that nothing like this has ever happened to you before? Does it remind you of anything? Another betrayal or sexual abuse perhaps? I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, but I'm afraid you will have to deal with this situation. You are going to have to face the emotions. I know sexual abuse is extremely difficult to deal with. Maybe you can get some help from a therapist?

I think that's it. A part of you feels angry (why are you angry?), another part is self-pitying (are you ashamed?), and the last one feels relieved.

@Danioover9000 In my experience depression arises when you are trying to change something that will not change or expecting something to change that will not change. So what is it for you?

I know you want to not care, but you do care. And what you resist, persists. Your feelings are not irrational and you shouldn't try to disidentify from them. Look into them instead and discover and integrate your shadow. It's the only way. Your shadow being the one that ridicules people.

Can you go even further into your past? This is just a guess, but what if you lost your mom's attention to some man in your life that you didn't like? Sounds to me like it could be coming from something like that.

I've done it too. I think it's interesting. Didn't become a habit though.

@Cody_Atzori The posture doesn't really matter. You can just sit down comfortably and focus on your breath or whatever your doing. Or do a walking meditation if that looks less weird

@Leo Gura Okay. When you said, "just ask yourself", I thought you meant that the answer would come straight away. It can come straight away though. It doesn't mean that it's the final, absolute answer, but it's an answer that you can use to solve that particular problem at that level of development.

@Shaun You can't transcend a need. The only way to transcend a need is to meet the need. Otherwise the need will just be supressed in your subconscious mind and it will create misery for you later on. That being said, why do you want sex? What is the need that would be met by having sex? Intimacy? Release? Power? Escapism? Find the need behind the sex and meet it directly.

All I'm saying is that if you can't get an answer straight away there are some tools you can use to get to it. But I also encourage developing attunement to the level where you can get answers quickly and easily. But it might take years of work.

Could you move out so that you would have more privacy with your wife? Could you let your wife help you with your work temporarily so that you could spend more time together? Could you explain to the startup founder that since you have a western wife, she expects different things than people in Asian culture, and that time together with her is also very important to you and makes you a more efficient worker?

Ok, but what if it's not a question of intelligence but attunement, like you say in your Body Awareness video? What if you just can't hear your thoughts or feel your emotions or sense your intuition? What if you're so disassociated from your being? Not that the topic starter's situation is so extreme, but I've been there...

This would require serious attunement to yourself though. If the topic starter had that, they wouldn't be asking this question here.

It sounds like you resent your brother because you don't feel loved or accepted by him. Even more than that, it sounds like you feel bullied, abandoned and mocked by him. So. That would make anyone resentful. Did he ever care about how those events made you feel?

You can get some clues by listening to your thoughts. What are you thinking about? You can also try and trace back in your mind to when the feelings first started. Did something happen to make you feel out of contact? But basically, I think that sitting with it in total acceptance and curiosity will give you all the answers that you need to know.

What's wrong with watching anime, eating chips and masturbating? Sounds fun to me! Ok, sorry. Hmm.... it's a good question. OctagonOctopus's tip is good. Also, if you like writing, you can journal about the emotions that come up. When you want to go back to escapism, it means that you want to escape from the emotions triggered by the change that you made. So. The only way out of it is through those unpleasant emotions. Acceptance, patience, love. And forward. Good luck!

I find this funny, because from my perspective Leo's and Teal's content is quite similar. Except for the difference in gender perspective: Leo's stuff is masculine, while Teal's is feminine.

So have you been studying her teachings since you started this thread? If so, what's your experience been like?

@ramdom133 @flowboy You might find these articles validating and informative: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-coital_tristesse https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/science-wants-to-figure-out-why-men-get-sad-after-sex They don't actually give you any solutions. The solution would be hiding in the emotions that you are experiencing.

Okay. If you feel good about it and it's making you happier, then go for it. I was just reading your notes and it seemed to me like there was a lot of confusion and wanting to abuse yourself out of how you actually are. It was just my interpretation. Feel free to drop it if it doesn't resonate with you.

Yes, I'm seriously suggesting it. It's not "giving up". It's called honoring your boundaries. It will make you develop much faster actually. I do have a problem with cold approach in the sense that it's often a self-abusive tactic that actually makes your go back in your personal development. Of course, it was just a suggestion. If the person feels that it's working, there's no problem with that. But from reading the topic starter's notes I felt that there was a lot of self-abuse there. Have you watched Leo's video "Awareness Alone is Curative"? In that video, he talks about how instead of forcing yourself to do things, you observe everything you do with awareness. And that will make self-harming impossible in the long run. It's a very gentle and very effective technique. So instead of pushing yourself to stick to a healthy diet or go to the gym, you use this awareness technique and in time, you will naturally move towards action that is good for you. It's much easier and better than forcing yourself. How do you feel about this approach now that I've outlined it in this way? Many people's problem is that they feel that if they don't force themselves to change, they never will. But it's actually "counter intuitive" if you will. By force you're only driving yourself deeper into self-harm. But it's very common for people to confuse self-development with force and abuse. The fastest way to do self-development is actually self-love and self-care.

Ok, not everyone feels it equally strongly or give it the same meaning. But I would say that sleepiness and hunger are signs or getting relaxed (you don't want to sleep or eat when you are stressed unless you have an eating disorder) and isn't relaxation vulnerability? A person is also very exposed i.e. while they sleep. That's why people with anxiety suffer from insomnia. They fear being exposed. I'm not saying it's like this with everyone of course, but this is one perspective. And feeling emotionally cold and nonattached right after sex with another person or masturbation on your own? In any case, I would take a look into those emotions, just like I advised the topic starter to do. But only if they bother you of course.

Hi. It sounds like what you have experienced must have been extremely painful. Both with your parents and of course with your ex-boyfriend as well. No wonder you are afraid of trusting again. Anyone would feel that way in your position. You're asking if there is a way that you can help yourself become more secure. Is there anyone in your life that you fully trust? Even if it's not a person, it can be another animal, like a cat or a dog. You might want to look into self-trust. On some level you think that you don't deserve to be unconditionally loved. Addressing those beliefs would be a good idea. You can start building self-trust by asking yourself how you already trust yourself. You might want to make a list of all things that are positive about you: your values, skills and strengths. What exactly did "lovable" mean for your parens? Try to define it to see clearly what things you are demanding of yourself. You might find this video useful:

Hi! It's nice to hear that you want to support your friend. The Life Purpose course is a good idea. It really depends on the person. I took this following list from a HSP Facebook group where HSPs report what kind of education they have or what kind of work they enjoy. Apologies if some don't make sense. I'm translating them from Finnish. Mental health (social worker) Early childhood education (some HSPs love this, some hate this) Visual design Online content creation Horse and dog masseuse Teacher Psychology Social pedagogy Song writer Social worker with elderly people Masseuse/therapist/ayurveda coach Musician Developing your own child raising method and writing a book about it Nurse Psychiatrist Bus driver Graphic design Spiritual business (energy work, card readings etc) Gardening Horseback riding teacher Writer Creative business (jewelry, card making etc) Library worker Personal assistant for elderly people Sports coach Animal care worker Holding workshops for disabled people Artist et cetera I am HSP. I took the LP course and I am now studying to become an art therapist. These are just a few examples. What's really important for her is to follow her own calling. You might want to check out this blog post, although there are many articles written on this subject. Just google "Highly sensitive person job" or "career": http://sensitivity-hsp.blogspot.com/2010/07/work-that-works-for-sensitive-souls-six.html?m=1&fbclid=IwAR029JsOLXRi1ZO-1KI5LHGtkgUkTw71Ac_o_hHlZcNCiR-fu0kZ3IXXkh4 Highly sensitive people are reflecting the collective subconscious needs. They are very important. It's absolutely critical that HSPs get empowered and comfortable with showing their sensitivity freely. The world needs it.

@Rachityczny If you still need a habit to work on, how about "Stop bulldozing yourself"? It means stop forcing yourself to do what you don't want to do.