Elisabeth

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Everything posted by Elisabeth

  1. If you've been on hormonal contraception "forever" for whatever reason, that could be an issue - although I suppose you'd think of that yourself.
  2. @Leo Gura I've seen more of the original video, and I understand why you would want to communicate about different standards of behaviour. In most of the interactions the guy is on top of it and turning the tables, they seem quite consensual. With that, I agree. Also, the longer I'm in a relationship, and interacting with guys in general, the more seriously I take male consent. The woman absolutely can be forceful about sexual interactions. Abuse and domestic violence targetting men are a thing.
  3. Fair enough as far as "getting overpowered in a park or club" goes. Do we have to discuss that most rape happens with people you know (or even are in a relationship with) and is often set up by psychological rather than physical violence?
  4. Kudos for integrity. I took your inspiration and reported those posts
  5. @Leo Gura A friend of mine took a deep dive into the history of neo-liberalism. He now thinks most of libertarianism is just a huge smokescreen created to gain popular support for neo-liberal economic policies which actually serve corporations and the rich, Milton Friendman being a typical example of neo-liberal propaganda disguised as libertarian belief. I wonder whether you think that's possible.
  6. @Annoynymous Did something shift in your life? It's normal to shift in and out of resonance with teachers. Maybe you need a different focus now. Does it bother you a lot that listening to Leo isn't fulfilling anymore?
  7. Maybe make subtitles to Leo's first video? Will certainly take you less time than a book. Or, read several, get a good understanding of the model, and make a website. I find whole spiral dynamics books rather hard and written for the western audience.
  8. My personal tip is, it's still fear of failure masquerading behind the "why would I bother" thought. Or could be something else. You have to figure out, we can't tell you. Try these: Question and get clear on what kinds of intimacy you're craving. Is it sex, is it talk, is it emotional resonance, is it being valued,...? Can it be achieved just with a girl? Know your goal. Visualize both your success scenario and your failure scenario. Imagine in detail actually asking her out, going on a date, and eventually having sex or starting a relationship. Watch carefully: What kinds of feelings come up? Allow them all. What are the triggers for these feelings? Imagine her rejecting you somewhere along the line too. Bonus question: Just out of curiosity, imagine asking out a guy
  9. Number of reasons. At the very moment you crave sugar, trying to resist that craving feels like more suffering than whatever illness is there (or might be there in the future). After you've "kinda tried" and failed a number of time, you just don't feel like change is something you can do. Just talk about diet will bring up a feeling of failure. Identity and habit, as mentioned above. What you eat is part of who you are, those tastes bring back childhood memories and bond you with your family. Sometimes it's even resistance against authority figures. Don't think you're the first one telling her that sugar isn't healthy. And sometimes, if depressed, the simple in the moment pleasure of sweet taste is one of the few things left you enjoy about life. You wouln't want to give up something that brings you enjoyment, however crude, if you have little of it overall, would you? Leave her alone. Or invite her for healthy cake, but don't be surprised if it doesn't like it too much.
  10. I never thought of it that way. It's interesting and maybe for severe cases it's true. For me, if you want a leadership role, take a leadership role, but don't be my psychiatrist. If a psychiatrist is the conductor of an orchestra dealing with my healing, that's quite wrong. It should be me taking the initiative. I go to a psychiatrist for medication recommendation and prescriptions, which is all a psychiatrist has ever given me. Healing? That happened in therapy and through other initiatives of mine. My first psychiatrist wouldn't have even sent me to therapy. In my opinion, if you haven't done so yet, you should arrange with a doctor to spend some time in his office. It may be problematic because of patients' privacy. But you really want to know how the job is like before you strive for it. It might burst some of your illusion-bubble. If you wanna be involved in psychedelic research, that's a different story, go figure out how to do that.
  11. What you talk about is involved in therapy - maybe more in the therapist-klient relationship then in the psychiatrist-patient relationship. How do you feel about that?
  12. Direct communication is not immature, quite the opposite. And no, things aren't necessarily more clear to her. They might be, she might be very clear on her own motives and limitations - or not - and she almost certainly isn't clear about your motivations. So have that conversation. It need not be dramatic. If you're having some nice quiet time, ask. 'Where would you like this to go? Do you want to keep it casual or have a relationship? I would like ...'
  13. What is it about psychiatry that you wanted so much?
  14. Apparently Japanese cultural takes this stance that sadness (possibly sometimes even suffering) is beautiful.
  15. @-Rowan To me it's like the firts one contains the other two, especially reading the second one I thought "isn't that what he just said?"
  16. @iceprincess Just some stuff to check with yourself: - do you still hold hope that perhaps, one day, you two might end up together again? (what would it take to let go of that? would you have to try and get rejected again as Leo suggests?) - are you loving the fantasy image instead of the real person? (as others have suggested, this is likely) - does this past relationship still affect you in any real way today? (not counting the intrusive thoughts) - what real need(s) of yours are expressed in these thoughts? what need did the relationship fill? why him? (meeting this need may well be the key) - how is daydreaming about him pleasant, positive and healthy? (usually even the darkest emotions "give" us something, so I'm sure remembering love does) - is there any trauma, anything you just "don't get", something that hurts? where in your childhood did you encounter this same trauma? Set time aside, inquire about these (and similar) questions, write, release emotions, be intuitive. If none of that works, you'll have to "just" break the habit, but better try identify the sticking points.
  17. @Bratcat Hey. Block him now. Go no contact. If your dynamics has indeed been somewhat close to abusive relationships, then he'll be trying to pull you back in several more times. The "commitment" he asked of you is absurd. Block him, go cry for a week if you need to, then try to rebuild a healthy (even if just online if you're still in lockdown) social life. It's ok to feel intense sadness now. Try to trust it will pass and not worry about your other romantic relationship at the moment.
  18. @Billy Shears I suggest before you drop them entirely, you could 1. try to make the friendship a tad more meaningful (like tell one of them your concerns about drugs and ask if he's willing to meet up sober) 2. find some new people to talk to and make friends with (as a natural outgrowth of the changes you start making in your life) You could also try to re-contact some friends that you might have had earlier in life who are sober. Isolation is usually rather devastating to the psyche, doesn't help your will very much. So try to not be entirely isolated. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
  19. @Hardkill I'm taking a course on entrepreneurship now. It's a process of identifying a problem that people have and designing a solution that you can sell. It's not easy at all, and experience is built slowly. I remember though that you are a good writer. Maybe now you are willing to learn some advertisement and copywriting and sell your services? Something else that you'd like to sell online?
  20. @Stretch Hey, I'm sorry you're hurting and desilusioned. It's the first reaction of forum people to guess where you went "wrong", but not too helpful. This stuff happens in all ambitious endeavours. People who shoot high, fail. Think of the sportsman who injures his muscle, the phd who fails to land a science job, the abandoned mother of three, the ruined entrepreneur. You took a high-risk high-gain strategy with spirituality. There's no use pretending that intense focus on self-actualization (in the narrow sense) is good for everyone. There's traps people fall into, misunderstandings that happen, and just individual differences which predispose you to (not) being able to take a path. I think this is what you wanted to tell everyone with this post. You can rebuild your life and beat your depression. It's the best thing to do now whether you ever come back to Leo's teachings or not. Wish you good luck.
  21. @lostmedstudent As far as I know, it's different whether you strech "warm" after workout or "cold" without it. The first mainly stretches muscles, the second puts more strain on ... all the other stuff. In some cases, cold stretching might improve flexibility more. The duration is not important. Stretch a certain place every day, and it will yield. You might have to find the correct way to do stretching for your particular problem. If you can't touch your toes, the problem is most likely not just the place under your knees that feels the pull, but rather your lower back. Proceed with caution. You wanna make it more flexible but not fuck up the muscles which are holding your tail bone in place. Here's how to stretch for you. Of course, it's possible this one exercise isn't the one or only one you need to do.
  22. So what is his responsibility? Not to make any mistakes? Hardly realistic. (not saying you're suggesting this) To remind you he may be wrong? He does that. To check with health professionals? I doubt that is his responsibility if that goes against his better judgement and/or feels meaningless to him. To be cautious according to your standards? To be courageous enough to lead by example according to some other people's standard? To be transparent enough to show us when he did make a mistake? (Well, that would be my standard.) I agree that Leo has the potential to either elevate or take down hundreds of thousands of people depending on how well he does. That's the risk that every one of us takes by trusting him and emulating any part of his path. Trust is earned in part by taking and showing responsibility, but the risk is still ours. It's good that you're critically evaluating and consider "being out" -- whether you decide to do so or not. Maybe it's enough for yourself if you check with health professionals before taking 5-meo. I for myself don't trust new videos too much.