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Everything posted by Spence94

  1. @Life-Hacking Don't worry, if you keep going there, sometimes you'll see stars too and that doesn't feel lonely, only magical!??
  2. I second this. The most enlightened man I ever met told me that the teaching of Non-Duality used to be known as the 'secret teaching', only those who had done enough work on the relative plain were seen as worthy of the teaching because the yogis believed there was so much work that had to be done on the yogis psychology on the relative level in order to properly embody the Absolute teachings. It makes sense. I have these same issues as you. I am working with 3 coaches and therapists right now to work on my truamas and emotional attachments that are hodling me back from success and fullfilment in life, love and relationships. While at the same time I aspire to be more loving by having an experientialy understanding of the Oneness of universal Self love. It's both, not either or. "I've been walking the path of enlightenment for over 40 years and even just last year I was going to therapy sessions." -Shinzhen Young. "This is a lifelong path brother." - Gary, a 50 year Meditation teacher, giving me adivce on emotional mastery.
  3. @A_v_E Steve Kaufman talks about 'unlocking the potential of the language', he says after 6-12 months of solid time, you can unlock the languages potential, you can reach a point where you can comprehend 90% of input, 90% of what you listen to and read, at that point, it just snowballs and the fluency of communication will follow and just keep improving so long as you keep engaging with the language to a degree. My life coach is French and his Chinese is amazing, he said that in Chinese the threshold is around 4000 words. At that point you can actually understand pretty much everything that all the Chinese people around you are saying. There is no final fluency, I am a native English speaker and my English is better now that it was 5 years ago. It's a journey.
  4. Why do it? Because if you don't deal the past and discover the roots of your conditioning, behavioral patterns in your life will continue to play out in a dysfunctional way. If you're unhappy, lacking confidence, dissatisfied with parts of yourself, unable to focus, unable to take actions, unable to open up and unable to love, are reactive/defensive/ aggressive/ avoidant/ attached etc in relationships, if you can't be happy alone, generally dissatisfied and discontent despite the personal development, despite the yoga and meditation, then it's because you have not processed your past. You have not healed your trauma. You have not returned to authenticity. This is not just sitting on a therapists couch wallowing in your thoughts, this is very much a deeply spiritual endeavor.
  5. "To learn a language, your energy must be focus like an addict at world of warcraft." -A forum member This is it. I can do this. Its world of warcraft. Bring it on. Level 99. XP.
  6. @A_v_E I am learning Mandarin Chinese. I am not expecting to be 'fluent' any time soon but I feel a world of warcraft level of addiction kicking in. I have a job and am trying to build my lifes purpose so it's not easy. Aspire to spend the rest of my time 'playing world of warcraft' though.
  7. Today I tried a new productivity technique recommended by a member of the forum. I liked it very much. Cultivating grace and self acceptance around ones procrastination and wandering mind. I have felt unhappy about my lack of discipline and focus for years. Procrastination and resistance creates much suffering and doubt in my mind. So much of the happiness and success in all areas of my life would be achieve if I just did the things I know I am supposed to fucking do. However if it was that easy, everybody would do it. So the path seems like one that brings you to wholeness step by step, that irons out your kinks little by little, so you do the work week by week as much as you can, take a step back and then another step forward. One day you wake up and you're focused, you're getting shit done, you get knocked off and get back on it. You enjoy it. Flow. Non resistance. Flow. It's all supposed to flow.
  8. Total Active Immersion Time (Hours : Minutes) = 1 : 45 30 minutes on LingQ. It is such an enjoyable way to learn a language and it just feels very effective. Language learning, like any skill is something you get better at with practice. Language learning like any skill, is enhanced by your overall development as an individual. For example, being healthy, getting enough sleep, exercising and eating clean effect the quality of your language learning in many ways from the quality of input, to memory, to recall, to confidence with speaking, to acceptance of mistakes and remaining chill. LingQ.com and Refold.La are the main websites i am using, they are somewhat underground and hardcore approaches in the language learning world but hey, actualized.org is underground and hardcore too so that the way I role baby. How will my behaviour change? Starting today, I am no longer going to do any work, or action or study or activity or practice in the evenings, all of that has to be done during daylight hours, as soon as it is dark, the only practice I am engaging in is listening and reading to Chinese. The daytime is for english and for work and practice and study. The nighttime is for chilling out and enjoying hardcore full Chinese immersion practice. Done.
  9. Good video. Thank you for sharing. Enjoyed that.
  10. @Elton Yeah Leo probably thought it was a waste of time and bigger fish to fry for Actualized.org and the direction it was going. There are a millione and one self help teachers out there and the subconcious mind is a pretty widespread mainstream idea, I am sure it has been covered in depth in a whole bunch of courses somewhere or another in the Self Help world.
  11. https://www.lingq.com/en/ https://refold.la/ Check these two websites out if you're serious about becoming fluent in a foreign language. Best part about their methods is that it is actually fun and enjoyable too, but it's an approach only for people who are willing to put in a few hours a day of time with the language over the months and years. Not about 'fluent in 3 months' or any of that bullshit.
  12. I've been thinking about learning how to play the saxophone again for years now but I rationalize it as 'a waste of time'. Deep down I think it would make me a happier, more interesting, well rounded, more passionate, more inspired and inpspiring human being, so maybe I should just buy a saxophone.
  13. Clarity, focus and action. Healing Trauma: A Journey of the Past, Present and Future. Learning Mandarin Chinese. Getting on track with lifes purpose. Practicing Yoga. Being a yoga instructor. Being an English conversational skills instructor. Socialization and dating beautiful women. Focus needs to happen, action needs to happen, the hiearchy of needs needs to be met and transformation needs to occur. There are two other journals for the first two bullet points, they deserve their own journals and I am excited about those journals. This journal will be used to for the other 5 bullet points, this is where the focus needs to be at this stage in the transformation. What will it look like in practice...?... we will have to wait and see.
  14. 2022/3/19 (In China they write the dates this way.) Study time: 90 minutes. Concious word and character study. Next: 30 minutes of the a Japanese anime movie with Chinese dubbing. There is a distinciton between active and passive listening. Meditation and Concentration meditation really helps to make immerion more effective. Insight: Quality time with the language is more imporant than quantity. although: to achieve genuine native level fluency requires 1000s of hours and years of immersion practice, so it's actuall Quality AND Quantity.
  15. @Preety_India Wish you strength.
  16. "We were hurt in relationship, which means we are going to heal in relationship. Relationships can be the ground for healing when approached properly." "All our dysfunctions. our relationship problems, the pain that we carry, the resentment that we harbor, the anger that we generate at our partners originates in early childhood trauma." “Trauma isn't what happens to you, it is what happens inside you." "We may not be responsible for the world that created our minds, but we can take responsibility for the mind with which we create our world." "In the real world there is no nature vs nurture argument, only an infinitley complex and moment by moment interaction between genetic and environmental effects." "I can pretty much tell you from the way they speak and feel about themselves and the health conditions they have, the type of childhood they had." "Not why the addiction but why the pain." "Collect them before you direct them" "Autonomy is impossible as long as one is driven by anything." "No society can understand itself without looking at it's shadow side.” “What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do no reflect our true self at all but the lose of it." "While nervous tension may be a component of stress, one can be stressed without feeling tension." "'If i'm authentic, I won't be loved anymore. If i am not loved, I won't survive.' This is the source of all pathology whether it's physical or mental." "Addiction floods in where Self-knowledge and therefore divine knowledge- are missing. To fill the unendurable void, we become attached to things of the world that cannot possibly be compensate for the loss of who we are." "Eveything that is 'wrong' with you began as a survival mechanism in childhood." "It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addiction finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or addictive behaviour.”
  17. Started another journal: 'Healing Trauma: A Journey of the Past, Present and Future.' I will maintain my original intention for this journal here as I enjoy using this journal as a more over arching big picture journal of the journey. Felt like it was the right time to begin trauma and healing work (working with coaches, therapitst and mindful support groups atm) and was inspired to start the journal after somebody mentioned such a journal. Good idea to make it a seperate journal though and not just lump everything into the same one. Hope both journals can be of value to people. I try to keep things short and sweet on here. I will do the same with the Healing Trauma Journal. I like it that way.
  18. @RickyFitts @Preety_India I might start a journal on this topic. I am currently doing life coaching and therapy and starting now will be moving into trauma and healing work, I am gathering resources to use along the way with this specific intention. I think I could start a Trauma Healing Journal and share some of the resources, contemplations and insights along the journey. Thanks for the idea, you're obviously welcome to start your own journals on the topic. Be great to learn from eachothers healing journey. I think at this stage keeping a journal on this trauma healing journey might be very beneficial for me and hopefully be helpful for others to read too.
  19. Girls seem to be pretty into me when I hit all these points. Good to know. If you can give her multiple orgasms in one session, that usually does the trick. It's a fine artform. I do things pretty slowly in the bedroom, with erotic moments of speed and being more rough, sensitive to how she is responding. Most women seem to respond well to and enjoy deep passion and sensuality. Try view the whole experience as ONE big beautiful passionate loving sensual blissful ecstatic orgasm where you both dissolve into the infinity of sexual nirvana. ( I am not a woman so do what you will with my comment.)
  20. @Spiral Wizard I wouldn't treat Kundalini with a lack of respect. It will fuck you up physically and mentally if you don't respect it and be honest with your Self and your capacities. If you do Kundalini properly you can literally enter with infinity and access psychedelic realms. I wouldn't even bother with adding the psychedelics. With enough kriya practice you'll be tripping all the time anyway, and it will be much more blissfully sustainable in the long term.
  21. Welcome fellow yogi. Sending love.
  22. @FromSweden I like what Russell Brand said once: "I do meet people that are alright with the material world. 'I am a material girl living in a material world.' but for me, no. I sense and have always known that this is not it, that this is not real. Nobody gave me any grammar to explain it, becuase If you grew up in England, people don't talk about it, they just tell you to chase things like women, money, career, football and fame and the things that actually work you sort of dismiss like you owe them money, ' oh I have to avoid yoga and meditation' that have been portrayed by the mainstream as artificial or luxury. But it's not artificial or luxury, it's the most authentic thing there is, it's more real than any of us. If people don't need enlightenment then they don't need enlightenment, if there is not a problem then there is not a problem. But if you have some kind of scratch, some kind of itchy irritability, some yearning, some craving, some dissatisfaction, then perhaps it's because you're not looking in the right place and you need to look within, and that within you lies an infinite capacity for bliss through a connection to higher things." - Russell Brand
  23. Your Light is my Light. My Light is your Light.