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A Fellow Lighter

The Light

20 posts in this topic

Welcome...

In this journal, I am a student of the light. Here, you will find no logic. Here, you will find no explanation (unless ask). Because here is my place of enlightenment. Here, you will only find that which I mind (care to be aware of).

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It's the most curious thing: I have been this way my whole life - feeling, thinking, relating - and only now do I look into this, into my being - my personhood, my livelihood, my selfhood, my godhood.

But why? Why now? Why not earlier on? Why not later on? 

It's the Light: It's gotten much stronger now, or me more receptive to it. Either way, it's gotten too bright to be ignored for me. And as I can't help but pay attention to it, it reveals something to me, something it's been patiently waiting to show me: it shows me.. that before I am.. It is. 

Before I wake.. It is.

Before I think.. It is.

Before I learn.. It is.

Before I act.. It is.

Before I am.. It is.

Always

Can I be enlightened without being frightened?

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Can there ever be an escape from the Light? When my eyes are open, it is here. When my eyes are shut, it is here. When I sleep, it is there. Even when I try to imagine a place outside the Light, it is there - enlightening my imagination. Is there a place, physical or nonphysical, without the Light?

It seems like I am dependent to it. My existence is dependent on it. It is here, always, watching. I don't know. It is always quiet, I don't know anything about it other than that it is here. Always. I can do nothing without it. I feel so powerless when acknowledging it's presence. It's like.. I can only be with it. 

Can I be enlightened without being frightened?

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Your Light is my Light.

My Light is your Light. 

Edited by Spence94

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When I take time to just be aware of the Light, well, I kinda just feel like crying. Mainly because I feel like a newborn baby, I find the Light to be innately overwhelming. Another reason is that I've realized that I know nothing about it. And yet it feels like it knows everything about me: How else has it managed to keep me here? Or to keep my attention? I don't even know what “me” is. I now see that this body isn't even mine, it belongs to the Light, it's part of the Light.

Yeah, I sincerely do feel like a baby. I feel all fragile and powerless, if babies do feel this way. The Light is absolutely everything, it is everything around, everything inside me and everything about me. I am nothingI have nothing. I have no limbs, no body, no power - nothing. I've never felt so empty, so nothinglike, so illusory. I feel like I'm one of the thoughts in my head, like I'm just a moment of contemplation, a moment of feeling, a moment of being. Only but a moment. How long will I last? How long will this moment last? I feel like nothing. 

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I feel like nothing, yes. But I feel something. Isn't this the strangest thing? I feel like I am nothing, but I am able to feel something. It's most curious. 

So what does it mean to be me? Well, I cannot see myself, I am only conscious of the Light. I cannot experience myself, the Light claims everything, it is all. Except for what though? Except for me? How would that be? No, I can only learn of my beingness via the Light. But what is my beingness? Do I have beingness? If the Light were to suddenly go dark, what would be left? I can't even imagine that without the Light! It is omnipresent. There is no imagination without it. Then why this idea of an i, why this idea of a self? When there is nothing I can identify as myself. Why?

Of course... There is knowing. This very knowing. There, here, is knowledge. Otherwise, there wouldn't be anything, or more specifically, the knowledge of anything. In fact, it is not a matter of what is known, knowledge can know itself - the knowing of knowing. It is still knowledge. Hell, it might just be the only true know, everything else has only ever been general specifications and ideas. Yes, the self is one of those ideas. Everything in existence is only ever an idea. The only true knowledge is the knowledge of Knowledge. It is a perfect circularity - this knowledge alone is whole, it relates to nothing or no one. Is this what I am? The knowledge of Knowledge? Am I a circularity? Is this the reason why I could never find myself? Because I have nothing to relate to, all that is is me?

Enlighten me, oh great Light. Show me what it means to be me ??

 

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It's a new day, but the same Light. Again, even in my sleep it was there. It is here, always here. But I'm also here. And its not like I can watch the Light from a distance, I'm just here with it or within it. 

Last night I wanted to know if I may be knowledge itself. But I have another question: Do I know the Light? What is the relationship between the Light and Knowledge? Urg.. I feel like this is not a real question. I mean knowledge knows Knowledge, no matter the content. It is a singularity - Knowledge. So from this context, the Light would be the content then. It would be - the Light of Knowledge.

Why is there knowledge in the first place, who knows that it knows? And why must it know that it knows?

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We are Divine

(Higher vibrations)

Lately I've been having this idea of creating my own space. Like my own personal environment where my vibration doesn't get pulled down by other vibrations. Like no matter the interaction with anyone, less they offer me a higher vibes, my vibration remains unhinged.

There's just too much drama in this world, so much of it is unnecessary. There's is so much to marvel at, but so many people prefer to quarrel over the mundane rather than pay attention to the magnificence of every thing. 

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The Light is just brilliant. I want to know more of it, but I'm also nervous. It feels dense, so full of life and energy. Why am I only noticing it now? I mean it's always been there. I guess this is what it means to have spiritual growth.

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I wish I could know you wholesomely rather than trying to figure you out. Although, I know that the trying is not in vain, that the efforts, though not effective, speak to you. They tell you that I no longer want this illusion - the illusion of apartness I don't want and I no longer need. When will we be one again? When will I get to feel your omnipotence in my very heart once more, so that I may fully grasp what it means to be alive. Very very few know.

Dear Light, I already know that we are one, I know that our communication is that of intuition. I know that you're here for me, and have always been here for me - guarding me, guiding me, teaching me and preparing me. And for that, I am eternally grateful. I only wish know to return the favour by finally awakening to my truest nature of which I know the journey is long. I only wish to realise that which you've been leading to show me through my fellow Lighters. And that is - what it means to be me.

The lessons, as I've come to learn, are not in my control - the world will always be the world. However, taking initiative is definitely my responsibility. I know that we speak otherwise: you use omens and Lighters and I use action and creativity. May this communication hold until proven fruitful. And may the illusion be, some day, undone. 

 

 

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Dear Light

I have prayed for a way to enable myself financially. Today you have shown me that you have provided a way, and for that I am grateful. Today was my first day at work, may this work be of meaningful contribution to my spiritual work, may I continue to grow and learn/teach of higher truths.

Amen ??

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Last night I experienced a rather negative charge at my earth energy-centre, without knowing whether it was due to the works of a negative Lighter or my Psyche attempting release - discharge. This is the second most heightened experience I've had with an energy-centre this week, the first was with my light energy-centre. 

If the experience was a purification process, then I bless it and pray the Light sees it through. If it was an attack, then I am thank the Light for remaining strong and bright enough for me to notice the presence of my negative companions. 

 

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It's Raining

No, it's pouring. And every drop is a drop of love, a drop of caring, of feeling and emotion. I feel so overwhelmed by this much knowing... I am everywhere, it's chaos. I feel so powerless, my only power is darkness - ignorance - fear and deception, but that power is meaningless, it is nothing compared to the power of love which overwhelms me so. I now see that I cannot control, instead, it directs, taming it is like trying to hold the ocean. 

It raining truths, I need to find a way to channel it, or I'll be flooded by it. I need to become like a river, I need to find a focus. 

 

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Dear Light

I think I am tired now. I don't know, I think I am tired of playing ignorant.. even if I may or may not doing it on purpose, but.. there's no point stalling and pretending anymore. I want to live in truth.

Remember I asked if I can be enlightened without being frightened? Well I think I know the answer now. And it's a definite no. All my life I've been frightened by new things, new experiences, until I got used to them and understood them. In all those times I was learning, I was growing, so why should it be anything different now? 

But you know what else I realized? It's that the real darkness doesn't lie ahead in the unknown, but it resides right here, in comfort zone, in the realm of the ignorant, where there can hardly be any learning and growing. I've realized that true growth and learning comes from befriending death, because growing into something new means the death of the old identity - death is transformation, it has never been cessation. 

My dear Light, you've been with me thus far, surely it is for a purpose. So whatever it is, please know that I am now ready for it. I'll will try harder to acknowledge you in every moment of my being, and in return I pray there is revelation of my Truth - what I am and what it means to be me. So go ahead, frighten me, for I now know that what I am is too immense to be prepared for. I only have my mortality to offer, let it be put to the ultimate use in teaching me what I need to learn.

Amen

Edited by A Fellow Lighter

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I love you!

I love you so much that I'm in pain!

But also, the pain feels so good! Everything just feels like love. It feels like fire and water combined! The Light consumes me in the most sophisticated way, it shines brilliantly as to not burn me up.

I don't know what you are. I'm not sure what I am. But somehow the love just says it all, it sums it up pretty neatly, yeah? 

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This is a place of vibration: my instincts, my emotions, my desires, and so on, are not mine. What is mine here is only my work. I get it now.

I Get it...

I am but an instrument for the world I have come to understand. 

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I'm not gonna lie, learning the truths I'm learning.. it genuinely overwhelms me. My only calm is meditation. But then I just end up always wanting to meditate, to isolate.. everyone suddenly talks too much, I find. I talk too much, and think too much, I also find. And really I'm just looking for that peace within me, that peace of mind to make my living space. The world seems more and more chaotic, and it's my job to learn how it's all love, all of it. I find it overwhelming. I just want to meditate forever, but I know I have responsibilities to take care of before I can rest...

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The Gospel of John

In the beginning was the Word, and the word was with God, and the Word was God.

The same was in the beginning with God.

God created everything through him, and nothing was created except through him.

In him was life, and the life was the light of men.

The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not understood it.

...

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, the glory of the Father's one and only Son.

I now know my purpose here, my work is that of vibration. 

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Where there is no establishment of any sort: the law is will.

Where there is already life: work is law.

But ultimately this is truth: work is will

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It's as if you've been speaking to me in a language stronger and purer than any language mankind could conceive. A language I understood clearly once upon a time, but decided to grow out of. This language is pure, with no room for misinterpretations or misnomers. It is universal. And here am I trying to learn this language, trying to tune myself back into the language of the universe.

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