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Everything posted by Afonso

  1. Feel the Is-ness, Spaciousness, Beingness, Background Awareness, Great Silence, the space between thoughts. Feel the "I am". That's all you have to do... Come back to it all the time everyday every single moment. Every thought is a resistance. Stay as the silence beneath. If you take this guidance your Ego has its days counted. Peace.
  2. Beautiful! This is soo similar to my Bufo Trip (with a shaman also). The difference was that I screamed for a good 10 seconds and when true surrender happened, I got super energetic, crazy humorous and a bit annoying. It's like you go from 20/20 vision to 1000000/1000000. I also love that you bowed in the end. It's like you truly see how powerful God is!
  3. So, last year, around June, I started exercising a lot. I became much more physically fit and energetic. I lost a lot of weight, put on some muscle and became leaner. However, since I started my Self-Actualization journey and meditation practice, my awareness has boosted a lot. And some months ago I realized that I was going to the gym so as not to feel lonely, to having a sense of purpose, for looking attractive for the girls and feeding the Ego. Since my realization took place, I have not gone to the gym. Before, when I got anxious or bored or lonely I would go to the gym and I would take a lot of pics at the mirror and stuff like that. Now, I'm aware that ALL of that was negative motivation. (I would rationalize that I was exercising because of health benefits). How do you deal with this? As I stopped exercising, I have lost a lot of muscle and became fatter. That makes me want to hit the gym. But even that wanting stems from negative motivation! Even my concern with this issue and my wanting to get back to exercise stems from negative motivation. How do you deal with this? I intellectually know that exercising is healthy and good for the body, yet I don't find anything that positively fuels me to go exercise.
  4. thinking is for pussies live on emptiness
  5. And it dawns upon us how weird it was to assume there is a center called "I" There's just experiencing!
  6. So... I'm having an ego backlash that's why i'm writing this otherwise I wouldn't give a fuck. Met a girl at Mooji. She introduced me to a shaman who was available to do a ceremony with me, yesterday. First, I inhaled Bufo's Venom vaporised. Then, the body starting screaming Oh my god, wholy fuuuuuck and then surrender happened. Afterwards, my body started doing crazy shit laughing, dancing, jumping around and telling jokes, kissing the shaman beard, screaming We're fucking one. There was the recognition that experience was all that is, everything is NOW. Everything is empty, like everything comes from nowhere. Nothing's solid. Concepts about concepts were put in the traaaash. Hard to put it into words. Words like absolute infinity don't tell me anything, so maybe there is some deeper type of recognition? Would be great to listen to you guys!
  7. Had 2 weeks of really strong negative emotions. They're gone. Keep surrendering peeps, let it all go!
  8. The mind loves to give excuses for why there's suffering - Oh, I'm an introvert... Oh, when I was a kid, blabla... Keep doing the work. Feel the suffering and stay with it. Surrender to it.
  9. 1 year ago from this very day I started meditation. It changed my life. The first month, what I did wasn't even meditation. It was just sitting and doing nothing on the couch for 10 minutes. That alone was very uncomfortable and challenging. I wanted to pick up my phone and do something. What is being aware of awareness? All I knew back then was thinking and thinking. Thinking that I was meditation was thinking, and thinking that I was not thinking was thinking. How do I stop thinking? I just kept going, being still and not quitting. Aaaah my body is shaking this is so uncomfortable, it hurts! I started reading Self-Help books. Bought Leo's book list, started a journal, faced many emotional challenges, many ups and downs. Cried a lot, got angered a lot, frustrated a lot, a lot of neurotic dysfunctional behaviour. Then about 5/6 months later, life started to become more like a dream. I became aware of the Presence, which has been expanding ever more. I cried more, from appreciation, sometimes sadness. All memories from childhood started popping up (and they're still appearing today). Then I learned about Letting Go and The Sedona Method and met Mooji. All these things snowballed into growth and more growth and now I'm extremely grateful for @Leo Gura, for the motivation that was sparked in me to follow the Path and to Life, really. It was a long adventure. It changed my life. I don't remember things linearly like in a story, but if I have to summarise: Keep going. You can do it. It will change your life. Meditate every single day. It will be torture for the first few months. Everything will come up, eventually. All memories will come up. Don't try to stop thinking. If you just be still, everything is ok. One does not simply try to meditate. I hear this over and over again - Oh, I have to try meditation Afonso! You have to be serious about it! Progress is gradual. Don't expect to be all peaceful the first time you meditate. Really, you won't be peaceful after years of meditation. All experience passes. Focus on being, not achieving experience or trying to find something. You'll have no fucking clue what is going on for the first months. So many things changed in me that I don't even know. Because things just move out of your system, you won't really notice problems you no longer have. You'll just have so much love, wonder and appreciation for Life that you'll be surprised you were into such negative states back in the old days. Thank you so much! This forum helped me a lot! But now, all problems are seen as emotional resistance. And what's the solution? Not debating or trying to figure it out. But simply letting it go, surrendering to what comes, feeling the tensions and meditating. All your problems seem so real right now. But it's all a sham. Of course, everything that I did - chasing girls hardcore, reading Self-Help books, watching lots of videos, trying to analyse my past, debating and bullshitting in the forum, trying to be a better person, going to the gym to have a fit body - these were all stepping stones that were transcended. This doesn't mean these things are useless. It just means they were once part of my Path but are now seen as not that useful. Am I super happy and blissful right now? Of course not. I still get emotional swells and believe me, they are very strong and I can't just ignore them or distract myself like I once did. I'm inclined to surrender to it and spend as much time on it as it is needed. Insights I know nothing. I'm not the body. Life is a movie. Everyone is in search for freedom. Everyone is a child. Everything moves spontaneously. I'm not thought. Your energy reflects your reality. You feel closer to life. You feel your intuition is now more trustworthy. You feel the energy of people. Trees are full of Presence. You feel grateful as fuck. Things flow more freely. Society no longer owns your ass. You see things from higher perspectives. Who am I really? Your whole life will fall apart - oh, my happiness doesn't depend on things outside of myself! Then what the fuck am I doing? Thank you! Oh and also: you'll look back and you didn't actually do anything. It was grace.
  10. Hum interesting. Those were bad trips with no breakthroughs. But they did bring up a lot of emotions.
  11. @Dodo "I know nothing" is an insight that means more like I don't know what Life is, what reality really is, I look around and i don't have a clue of what this is! I overlooked the mystery of life.
  12. Oh God, Thank you for all you have done. Thank you for all you have given to me. Thank you for all the opportunities. Thank you for your grace. Thank you for the Path. Thank you for this Life. Oh God, I surrender myself to You. Take away everything that is false and leave only truth. Merge me in the ocean of unity that is You. I give myself to You completely. Oh God, I love you so much. Take these words from my heart to your heart. Remove all doubt and arrogance. Shine only Love and Truth.
  13. Trust your Self. Trust Life. It will show you the Way.
  14. The dawn of the witness. Notice that even finding it weird is just sensation and thought.
  15. Last sunday sutsang, my friend raised his hand to speak and was then invited by Mooji to spend a day with him. I've also been allowed to go with my friend as part of his invitation. As such, I will try to take the most out of the opportunity and energy of Mooji. Do you guys have any question you'd like me to ask Mooji? I'll post the answers when I come back (day 10/07). Love to you guys.
  16. Meditation completely transformed my life... I'm 18 now.
  17. I'm experiencing this too. Maybe it's temporary, maybe it's not. @Leo Gura @Joseph Maynor The Presence is growing inside me and as such, every thought, intellectual debate in my head or with other people is seen as noise and distraction. Everything flows from the intelligence of this Presence and, therefore, a lot of planning/intellectual understanding/strategic thinking is falling away because it seems pointless. is also seen as a distraction. Everything flows the way it is supposed to flow when I'm deep into this Presence/Stillness/Awareness and I stay as that. No thinking is needed.
  18. Yeah, tell us where you booked such retreat! Best wishes
  19. My 2 cents is that he has become enlightened.