Behind20

I wanted to write it again fully but nah. I pitied those who have to read* it or read it with its missing link. /something missing. Unfull. But there's (Someone that's watching me? I said there are those thats watching me)

Imagine being with your rapist everyday. How does that not make you weak? Weaker. I blocked that guy @Hojo

If I were to fight it I would also had to go against the biggest org in the country. Of course I had lost the battle if I hadnt things would just have been heavenly.

I would even thought @Hojo to be a part of them. They cut me off or ban me from a lot of things so that I had to be in public so that they could see me. writing this God given is but I went back and all things bad had happened. Should I write it fully? what if they're watching me? When I was writing this I only want a Can I even say these? Lt m put it clearly , cctv? That was the last immeadiate thing I could think of at the top of my state now (that is not so good like you could say you can un alive me because of how much I'm tired or exhausted right now (eyes & above) . ) totally utterly tired but I couldn't stop or do anything about it and things are just stacking up. one after another. (You think I got the will to continue this thread? No.) But I can't stay still either. Of course I am not ready 100% or at all but the time is coming? Short term mind / thinking as if I hadn't already lost it. Friend? That was a few years ago. (My mind would go between year and then coming back to now. That why I said I'm better dead). why can't it be just immediate thing? - stacking up things - forgotten - bad. - and on top of that my eyes could barely even still working (am I exaggerating? Nowho knwos. ) Think of ... An old person. None of these , none of everything ive ever written shall come out of my mouth. none. @Hojo life are too silly for me these days (that immediate things are happening to me) so I'd wanna put (or I search for all the cctv that are in my state /city (outside cctv) to see what happened in the sky that moment. (But there aren't any. Cctv. Online. That I could look for. ) So I thought I wanna put one outside in case if anything happened. But this just passed by. Until some day ago. When I bring it up , without ever telling anyone. I havent but I'm about to. And then , as if I hadn't been summoned already everyday , it happened. I've been surrounded (from front and back , or left and right) however you wanna see it. And it happened. I was pulled. My thought was taken. Maybe , my headache had been caused by the hair oil im using. Because in this dream , I saw three of those up in the air floating. And then I pull it back down (inside my room) its happening inside the house. I pull it back down and take it out from the luggage /suitcase. I dont remember anything else . And these things are still like floating. and before this , I saw a cctv screen right above my head at the corner nook of the room. Ceiling. Up. it was , looking at me. And outside was that. i wouldnt get any of these or all of these if (idk.) and then , also it was about 2024. 3? Idk. that memory was brought or summoned too . (Idk why seriously.) So as soon as i woke up i went to x to ask her to do that. And it was fine. Though im sick. sickening. unresolved thing? (Because we cant act like nothing happened.) And act like nothings happened (so I was a bit sick. (Sickening.)) so i just do it. And somehow , closing my eyes would be better. Felt better. (I said im tired even after waking up.(morning.)) So i was just sleeping on my mom's bed waiting for her saying that i wanna do the laundry (eventhough I actually didnt.) wanna. It just appeared on my dream and had been brought back or someone had summoned that memories Backward? Way. Backward. And of course I did things that are out of the ordinary *not what wslas usual* because that dream freaked me out so I went back They had summoned me and then my mom and dad summoned them and that how it goes. For a moment , truth can be seen and then it ended. Turning back to normal or whatever. But the sorcery was done and can be seen. I can choose not to do it at all but they keep on making me part of it. Without me ever wanting it. to be involved. in their shi. But I was used anyway whether I wanted to or not. Things had gone really backward. they too were freaked out and then gather or had to be together. (Among themselves.) And at one moment they had to leave their child to me alone. because of the sorcery. So all these while i was the child unattended by any of my parents. Huh? And it would be a moment , when i turned away that they would took their child ,in a second and was lost from the scene. so they too were freaked out but had to leave their child to make the sorcery work. Idk. Idk. This is some deadly deadass ancient old type of sorcery. (Wtf im not interested) But things that they learned or whatever while being in --- (x) This shouldn't be it but I'm weak. (To fight that which they should do or leqrn in x) I'm on my deathbed. I mean , *to fight that which they learn in x . I'm on my deathbed. And maybe they are born like this and I wasn't. (Because they do it all too easily . ) the sorcery. If I were

Theyre inside my house

@ChrisZoZo the one who's watching me illegally. @Hojo And of course I know who.

@ChrisZoZo the one who's watching me illegally. I don't . I don't wanna be in p Remmeber when I said about the cctv my intention to have it put outside and the next thing that happened is they put in on my face directing it to me in the room*. If I put my thoughts out outside. I wanted to do that to direct it to the sky and something bad already happened to me. Of course I hadnt done it. But why they had to do that instead of me just because I mentioned it the day before. Sticking their nose into my life. why do they have to do that? And I wont leave my house without having any cctv inside the house. The outside had long been unusable. It didnt work anymore. For a year? *If I don't do it they will do it.

The last three weeks are so different than the last three days. I could barely see anything so I became mad. Clearly. And I still was being banned or constrained by the whatever when I wasnt born like this. Whoever fuck this is idk. They keep on wanting to have power over me. And I also wanna destroy my glasses /spectacle. The urge to do this idc. Its better if I don't need it at all. Like a few days ago. But its worthless I wanna break it.

Destroy your plant. Tear your plant. There is no cure to anger. It is better not to take it first in the first place. Never angry. Kill. Beheaded someone. And you would still be angrier.

Before I said this I said 21/8/2025 This had happened before. The country of sorcery. Anyone on the higher up can see your cart. Your everything. This had happened in an insane way before. Lets say if they are millionaires (or God knows what) and those others who are or did it for money so there was a time when they got a large sum of money and will bought say everything that I value or pursue. But they did it in a barbaric way. And before , it happened only to me in my house , like my sister. And THEN, it happened to people who arent my people back then but ive made a contact with before and they did exactly what my sister did to me. Sorcery. And what happened to my house then happened to that place too (I saw like aftermath) every body had bought their thing. And the whole (house? ) place are in utter aftermath. The place ive been to before. But they want my taste and what ive wanted. And I dont get /have my money while they had. Imagine if it s all craze. Craze. Like unstoppable type of force and barbarian. Or you could say greed or whatever things like whatever idk. But the thing is it had to do with me. I wouldnt say that I don't have access to it (to get a lot of money) but i didnt do it. It was meant to be something that are available to you. And they give you sometime after , then they would go apeshit crazy in devouring whatever you didnt do or your act. Buying things from your cart. I guess these people are rich or super rich. Thats the vibe that I got. But rich in a aborigin sense because they trust my taste more or they had nothing. No eyes. or looked down on themselves. To be devouring what i valued or want. And this had happened a lot and still happen today. Just imagine if your cart is accessible to some. Or many. And they can do what they want. Basically I cant say anything or mention anything before I had money. Why I can't be accessible to these? Why cant I do this? This is the question. Why aren't I'm accessible to their privates or carts but they do mine? This is what I'm not satisfied with. Is it money?/ /Wealth? Or simply because they are the government? In other word , that would means I am a completely different species and they , should not have governed me at all like shi. like they arent me & I am not them. Imagine if we had different ancestors so those who are eligible to be above me are not some shit but only whats mine or my ancestors. Like we not even the same thing. This is what I thought. Or was it someone married and not? Because , at one point I wonder if someone was given access to something (by the whatever that is or the gov ) after they got married. And against those who arent. Because shitty things really had happened. Or WAS IT GOD? Self Proclaimed God in other word a Human. Shitty people. Why could they have access to me and I couldn't them? Eventhough sometimes I did. (I GUESS?) . Idk. I could get into their whatsapp . in another place . Another area.

Just go to school and they will prepare you for that. I said school that are more rigid and packed . Rigorous. Theyd train you for that and you wouldn't have to do anything. If you wanna have a superior mind.

The things that I said are something that a sinner could not perceived so all everything that I said is a lost for me. because these sinn will imitate what i said or do like a counterfeit.

It was not a real type of mental illness but something that is sought after or something that wasnt there didnt exist but was a wannabe type of thing (aand I think it did really have becomes real for some people and at one point but it is f unorganic and was forced so you could feel the hardness and difficulty of thing) . It was snatching away what was good and sane. Isn't it the trend anyway? I said this because it is still prevalent now today and im sick of it. The type of thing that makes you stupid. When you act stupid (not real.) that you becomes it to what extent does this shit wanna do that? Type of thing. I would not even said "you" because to have any connection* to this sh is already disgusting. *In any way. The thing is it doesnt hv to be that because it is something that is made up and not truly is but still lower your intellect . (Make you stupider.) What should I do?

Everytime I did , my mom would close the doors. And windows. Whenever I want to let the morning air or light in . Because , there are a lot of bad energy and air in the house. So I like to do this but everytime I did , the opposite will be done. There's sorcery (& they like to live in darkness. ) When I said bad energy it was everything bad could ever imagined. And I wasn't allowed to let that out. It includes keeping others energy inside the house /in other word my house had been swarmed. Invaded by things that are not supposed to be there (things I hated.)

Calculation. Time is a calculation.