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About laurastarla

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    Paris, France
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  1. Buying my apartment 5 years ago was the best financial decision I ever made. I just paid it off in April, so now living rent free; and it's worth 40k € more than when I bought it. With no rent, much of my salary is being saved for a down payment on a 2nd apartment. That one I will rent out, and the renter will pay the mortgage. Why is all this especially so great? Because I can quit my job, and dedicate my life to long term service in Vipassana centers, while I receive 1000 € a month renting my 1st apartment, and the 2nd one will be paid off by the renter in 15 years. This is all right outside Paris where home prices will only continue to grow. I guess the choice is give up some freedom now in exchange for freedom for the rest of your life. I don't see it as 'going into debt', it's investing, and if I had figured this out in my 20's I'd already be at Vipassana long term now!
  2. Vipassana is to see reality as it is, not how you want it to be. Your plan is to manipulate reality to get a result you crave, plus you are willing to lie to the community to get what you want. Surrender completely for the 10 days, then when you reap the benefits of your honesty and letting go of your ego demands, do LSD when you are in that more pure state at your home where you won't affect your fellow students with that vibe.
  3. I would flip my lid for Buddha and Gas Pump, but we may need patience; I just went on his website to see how we could all suggest Leo to get him on faster, and their 'Suggest a Guest' page is on hold as they have hundreds to consider !
  4. I just spoke to my fav VIP teacher about this - knowing that VIP is my path, but also found pranayamas and Breaths of Fire can kickstart a VIP session, esp when lost in monkey mind. She said, surprisingly, a little yoga is fine, just not as a full-on technique - so don't do an hour every day of each and mix up their strategies. I agree with herghly, dedicate some time to each technique fully, and see which one speaks to you. Then concentrate on that one, but still test out other things don't limit yourself. Don't waste too much time collecting everyone's opinion. Here's my opinion - I like Kriya because it involves conscious control and it's enjoyable, whereas VIP is releasing control and accepting when it is NOT enjoyable without trying to change that, so I want to be careful, because I love control and crave that my meditation brings peace - that's why I feel VIP is right for me, at this time, and I don't want them to cancel each other other in some way. Keep me posted how it goes!
  5. a lot of lsd and mushrooms years before, and those were mostly wonderful. So I had a good mindset about psychedelics. Before the 5 meo, I had only a year of serious meditation and work under my belt, and a clear intention (or so I thought), to know the truth by using it. But I was still undergoing a sort of painful time, maybe that was what colored the experience? I really want to try again and break through that fear, but I admit I am still scared!!!
  6. would love to know the answer to OBler's question - if anyone has personal experience with this thanks!
  7. I did 5 meo dmt 3 times 3 years ago and I was not ready, it terrified me. I became very afraid of death for about a year, that is might be some 'hell space', an infinite feeling of being absolutely lost and falling in a dark hole for eternity and never finding solid ground. I swore off 5 meo dmt, too scared to lose myself in that void again. These last 3 years I've been working like a madwoman to get past demons and shadow, you know the drill. I feel ready to try again (soon) - but my 5 meo dmt stash (chemical) is 3 years old and was REALLY hard to get- does anyone know if it goes bad?
  8. I hear you, my questions aren't getting answered there either, so I'll answer you! Based on reading the entire Kriya mega thread maybe you should do them together as they are progressive and build on each other. I personally don't waste time on anything else but go straight to mahamudra, pranayama pulling up and down the spine, supreme fire and concentration. During the day whenever it's convenient, I do alternate nose breathing, which is great for relaxing, but would probably be even better integrated in my morning practice. I find during Vipassana meditation and Bikrams yoga, the deepest moments come after longer periods of time, so it makes sense to do longer sessions rather than splitting them. For me, maybe others have different experiences, and also, I am a total Kriya newbie so just discovering myself!
  9. Hi guys, I’m a serious Vipassana meditator and since I started Kriya a month ago I have the free flow ! – trying to stay equanimous about that progress, but not succeeding ? Since there are so many variations on the techniques, I adapted to what feels right, and curious if this is ok or if I’m starting bad habits. Mahamudra Eyes open or closed ? How to do neck lock properly as I am tucking my chin in towards my body? In fact I don’t get the neck lock at all, I am just holding my neck upright ?? I am missing the subtlety. No more attempting Ujjayi breathing during other techniques, I just can’t get it and it distracts me. I heard it’s better not to force it (Mountain Cactus in this thread I think), it will come naturally one day. These breaths are short (6 seconds in, 6 hold, 6 out), due to moving and breath holding I have trouble elongating them, Pranayamas are twice as long. Pranayama Drawing pranayama up and down sometimes it flows in the center of my body rather than directly on my spine, what about you ? I don’t feel 1 & 2 very well, while 3, 4 & 5 are super obvious. Supreme Breath of Fire I do the 3 body locks then hold my breath as long as comfortable. How long are you waiting in between ? Are you using Om or concentrating on prana at all or looking at the 3rd eye ? do you have other advice or what works for you for this technique ? Sleep – insomnia, waking up every night at 3am and never really getting back to sleep. So always fatigued. But never felt so connected & in tune to my body ! Would love any feedback on any of this, or is that comparing ? ;-) thanks !
  10. Anybody going to Byron Katie's workshop this Saturday in Paris?
  11. wow I can't believe it, you are right about the bans. All my posts and subreddits are gone ! Not sure what I'm allowed to tell you... after 2 weeks of non stop googling and talking to whoever would answer me online (1.5 years ago) I found my way, you'll laugh at how easy it is once you know and do it right (like enlightenment haha). Google for days, reach out to people, and connect the dots. Stick to the Netherlands and Canada, and if a substance is classified as illegal in your country, don't ship, GO there! If you smell something shady, keep looking elsewhere. There are legitimate and safe ways to do this. Well, you do have to stretch your definition of 'research', but forget onion, darkweb and bitcoin, it's not that complicated! Maybe it's changed in the last few years, but that is my firsthand experience.
  12. Legal in the Netherlands for research purposes. I got great info through Reddit, start there! Sifting through the bs is labor, but once you know what to do, no need for darkweb. It's not categorized yet in France since it's rather unknown, but shipment might be confiscated at customs since other similar substances are illegal. Have it shipped by land, not air, as airports tend to have stricter customs control. There's a retreat near Amsterdam providing legal 5 meo and mushrooms in a safe environment.
  13. Your fab post reminds me of my friend, who is the alpha lion in the African safari. He fills the room with his animal presence, he swoops up the cutest girl(s), for the first 5 minutes he intimidates every male. But he has such open vibes, he embraces everyone with warmth, he actively talks to everyone with this huge smile, so instead of creating hostility, the other males (who are competing for the same females) are drawn to him and want to ally with him rather than 'fight' for dominance. It seems like, since the females are shining for you I wonder if instinctively you are preparing for competition with the dudes, subconsciously, they are reacting to this ? Maybe shift your energy so you are welcoming them in your tribe? thanks for your honesty I love it! On a side note, I wonder if my friend is truly happy with his forever rotating 7 woman harem? ;-)
  14. hi Dan thanks for this I need to unload, ego in huge overdrive! I work with 3 others girls, we each have our own boss but we are part of the same assistant team with same job title and responsibilites. A couple of months ago one of the bosses gave his assistant the right to work from home, so now she just doesnt show up in the office nearly weekly. I asked my boss for the same right. He said no for a couple of easily arguable reasons. I've been a mess over this. Bigtime ego Its not FAIR reaction. I feel disrespected, disregarded etc etc etc No presence, total monkey mind, obsession & neurosis for days. When she doesn't show up I feel jealousy and even hatred, especially hating myself for not being more mature. Longtime meditator and been using tons of techniques for allowing & respecting feelings, shadow work. The old wound this is opening is 'I am not as good as others, I don't count'. I want so badly for my boss, who I deeply respect, to validate me by saying, you DO deserve to be treated fairly, you matter and I hear your feelings. But my boss should not be my therapist. Do I express my feelings or learn to accept this inequality because 'hey sometimes life isnt fair, am I going to destroy myself over that?' I am afraid to tell him how I feel, but I'm headed to a nervous breakdown thanks for listening