ThomasT

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Posts posted by ThomasT

  1. Posted

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    The biggest question will be: Will Putin gain preventing Ukraine from joining NATO?

    A country cannot join NATO while currently in a conflict. So while there are disputes surrounding Crimea, Donetsk and Luhansk, Ukraine won't be accepted into NATO. These could last for a long time.
    Also, keeping Ukraine from developing their own natural gas reserves is an economic win. 
    Here is an interesting look on nuclear war and its game theory: https://twitter.com/kamilkazani/status/1500168838356381703
     

  4. Posted

    On 2/4/2020 at 10:05 AM, Psych2Awak3n said:

    I feel very drawn to the substance 5 meo dmt. Is it okay to take this alone? I've heard horror stories of people dying and that you should always get a trip sitter with this substance. Thoughts?

    I went to an organised retreat with serious shamans. Best setting I could possibly imagine. Would definitely not have gotten the same result from doing it solo.

    Expensive though. If you have access to 5meo at home, I would start very very very small. I have only vaporized bufo and cannot speak for plugging/snorting.

  5. Posted

    25 minutes ago, Llight said:

    @remember Unless you don't have any lust feelings, or anger or irritation of any sort in the last year without your permission then I am so in, but i highly doubt that you can do something like this unfortunately.

    Like Leo said earlier, this desire for total emotional control is rooted in ego. You can de-tatch yourself from these emotions and observe them instead of letting them run your life, yes. 

    I suppose monks with 20 years of meditative practice have more "control" over their emotions like you want. But you're probably better off accepting and feeling into your emotions more

    Feelings are great, be grateful for them haha

  8. Posted

    32 minutes ago, Higher said:

    @ThomasT To be honest, the only thing preventing me from saving to a 5-meo retreat which would only take me like 4-5 months is my girlfriend. I'm afraid I will lose her. I love her so much but I know the power of truth, that my love for her cannot win over Truth. Maybe I'm just deluded, maybe this not how it is and will be. But it just feels this way, an intuitive feeling. 

    6 hours ago, Higher said:

     

    I had the same worry, maybe she will and maybe she won't, i dont know your situation. Is she firmly apposed to psychs in general? 

    Let her know how important it is for you. Maybe talk it out and express your concerns and she can do the same? Correct some stigma if necessary 

  9. Posted

    2 hours ago, Higher said:

    I will, when I feel ready for it etc. Altough time is not the problem, the problem is getting my hands on psycadelics like dmt, lsd, never the less 5-meo where I live. I have considered a 5-meo retreat, it's just so expensive. I must, just out of pure curiousity and fascination, try these substances and see these radical states of consciousness. 

    And I will one day. Some way or another. 

    I saved for almost a year to go to a 5-meo-dmt retreat. Best money i ever spent. 

  10. Posted

    Reflecting on leo's video about human knowledge always only spanning roughly three generations:

    We only know it's 2019 because our parents told us so. And they only know because their parents told them.

    I started to wonder where the initial counting of years and time started.

    I had heard previously that our western calendar had gone through several modifications because of lag. 

    So i decided to check out the different calendars and boy is there a lot. 

    But what's so frightening about there being different calendars? Well, doing this work is questioning our pre-existing ground that we stand on to understand reality, right?

    And realising that different calendars count years differently, and therefore years being relative and that there is nothing special about the number 2019. It sure does chip away at the solidity of reality.

    We're not in year 2019, that's a projection. There cannot be years. 

    So where in the "timeline" does that leave us? WHEN are we? I am not sure. But from what psychedelics have shown me, and of course all the theory,  there is nothing but the present. It's just really hard to grasp and swallow fully.

    The illusion of time and timeline is a stubborn one. 

    Here is the link to different calendar years:

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Module:Year_in_various_calendars

    It's like I'm floating between time. Not knowing when i am. And boy does it feel weird and weirdly good. It feels true also. 

    The groundless ground of time.

    By extension this means age (in years, or measured) is also relative. I (ego) am not absolutely 20 years old. 

    This is the first time i have properly contemplated and researched something simple like calendar years and really discovered something for myself. 

    Please share your thoughts on this

  12. Posted

    7 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    @ThomasT Cool. Sounds like you’re all set. I think you’re doing great btw. Most people will not experience the consciousness you have in their entire lifetime. I apologize for any projecting. 

     

    I'm not always that good at presenting my views properly.

    I recently watched a few videos on the infj personality type and it seems like a common problem.

    Thanks for your input ❤️

  13. Posted

    8 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    It sounds a bit like the patterns & repetitions return for lack of proper foundation &  inspection of the recreation.Such a gap in consciousness in your relationships, at such a young age, combined with writing off the self inspection as ‘spirituality stuff’ (where the understanding & compassion would come from) could make for a rougher than necessary ride. 

    Time is relative, there’s ample time for the practices and survival. They work ideally hand in hand. I wouldn’t use time as a write off to procrastinate.

    Also though, for all I now, maybe understanding & awareness of self & in your relationships won’t be important to you. I might be projecting. Just a cautionary tale from meetings with some guys your age who went pretty deep pretty young on the psych’s end, without foundations in theory and recognizing the value of self awareness. 

    Consider the reverse paradigm, the challenge of humbling down, realizing compassion via self inspection.

     

    This is just not the case for me.

    I care about the things you mention. I do recognize that postponing practices is maybe not the ideal way to go. I take this path seriously.

    I started with psychedelics early, but not without spiritual experiences in meditation and reading books.

    As for the last part, it's on point with what i already practice.  

    Did not understand this: 

    "It sounds a bit like the patterns & repetitions return for lack of proper foundation &  inspection of the recreation."

  17. Posted

    7 hours ago, Nahm said:

    The “spiritual stuff” is a write off, and it’s where the maturity & understanding comes in. We are sneaky creatures man. Gotta keep the intellect in tandem, not rogue. 

    What  do you mean? I'm by no means discarding spirituality. I am aware that a pitfall is postponing the inner work forever and never realizing it.

     

    8 hours ago, TrynaBeTurquoise said:

    Why do you think, or what specifically do you think is making you feel drained or burnt out?

    Trying to do a lot of things at once. Feeling overwhelmed. 

     

    8 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

    @ThomasT One of the biggest (because it is usually the first, and was for me) is to realize that you are the nowhere - you are the container :)

    That's awesome about making yourself financially independent to focus on this.  There is nothing bigger.  Good luck on your path.

    Thank you! 

    Sorry for this: don't know how to remove it. I heard you can't?

    8 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

    @ThomasT

     

    8 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

    @ThomasT

     

    11 hours ago, Cocolove said:

     

     

    10 hours ago, Nahm said:

    @ThomasT

     

    10 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

     

     

    9 hours ago, TrynaBeTurquoise said:

     

     

  18. Posted

    2 hours ago, Cocolove said:

    tl dr 

    I have noticed what you described. My mode of being was radically different before. 

    I have also noticed that this has always been the case. For about 6 years, I have noticed that I could not recall at all how I experienced reality a couple years before. I think this has to do with me being 17 and still developing. It's hard to tell if the most recent change is from spirituality or growing up.

    How old are you? this could be your case

    19, two weeks away from 20. Started watching leo about 4 years ago.

     

    1 hour ago, Nahm said:

    @ThomasT What do your daily practices and studies look like? 

    I did a bit of meditation, mushrooms and 5-MeO and decided to fix my basic needs before pulling the trigger on the spiritual stuff. So just basic noticing and letting go like Leo talked about in his recent video.

    I keep up with Leos content.

    1 hour ago, Inliytened1 said:

    Does your ego come back changed even if slightly?

    What have you become conscious of through your breakthroughs?

    Hmm, things have changed, but not in the way i initially hoped. I hoped to do toad and the be free of both suffering and seeking and be enlightened. But this is not the case, i really just saw how much work needs to be done and decided to put spirituality on hold, as mentioned previously.

    I fully 100% died and came back seven times. I saw the creation-machine and recognized it as myself. Now, this recognition came after several trips to the afterlife with absolute no sensations. this creation machine was not a sensory or visual thing, but manifested itself after death. 

    this all "took place" nowhere, so I felt what nowhere is. Space is not fundamental, you can strip space away.

    Now the difficult part is integrating this back into daily life. And collapsing the duality of both sides of death is still out my understanding.

    Looking forward to becoming 100% financially independent and being able to devote proper time and money into this project.

    24 minutes ago, TrynaBeTurquoise said:

    Ultimately you are alone in the universe in the absolute sense, so I think it will be helpful for you to reframe your concern of “not connecting with people” into using your new elevated consciousness to display as much love as you can to those other people who may not understand or have experienced certain spiritual things you have. Or have they? Thats also an unknown sometimes. 

    So just show love and people will be attracted toward you, and if they hate you because of that you accept it, still show love, and realize only you control your internal state of happiness.

    hope that helps, coming from someone who has not done 5meo but wants to and respects the courage of even doing it 

    I do this to the best of my ability. I noticed lately that it's been too much and i feel drained and kinda burnt out.

    They definetely haven't experienced the same things.

    Unless they are messing about in some sick Truman show kind of way. Which I am starting to suspect more and more! Because I am everyone haha

     

  19. Posted

    On 8/25/2019 at 8:03 PM, OBEler said:

    @ThomasT Even if you cannot remember the old stage, do you miss it? 

    I am still afraid of a breakthrough experience where my ego dies because I dont know if I like this big change after this. If it is worth or if I will struggle for the rest of my life to get over this

     No, it's better on the "other side". 

    The problem is that the ego comes back, you come back, after a breakthrough. And the all sorts of neurotic stuff happens.

    I am guessing I will struggle with this half-pregnant state of spirituality until i go all the way.

    On 8/25/2019 at 8:47 PM, Maya_0 said:

    I feel the same. My life seems like a blur before I started walking up.

    Relating to people who are not introspective is challenging even if do remember what your past state of consciousness was like.

    Blur is a good word for this. 

  20. Posted

    Thank you everyone!

    I don't find less spiritually developed people easier to get along with, quite the opposite really.

    As for me "sizing people up", i think i worded myself poorly. My point is that it is harder to relate to people who haven't done any of this work, because i forget how that state is like. Much like the what the last comment here points out. 

    Thanks ?

     

  21. Posted

    I have noticed this many times since my breakthrough dose of 5-Meo in january, but Leo's blog post put my attention on it once more:

    I really struggle to remember what life was like before this trip. (Before i started tripping especially)

    It's hard to get in touch with what my consciousness was like back then. Which is the level of most of my culture at the moment.

    I don't want to around and take for granted that people are at my LOC. It causes misunderstandings and disconnection. But remembering what their LOC feels like, is hard. And therefore relating to them is hard.

    By all means, I'm not super developed. But moving past my friends and relatives relatively quickly.

    Thoughts? 

  24. Posted

    3 hours ago, Conrad said:

    Nice but it cannot be compared to permanent conscious and aware knowing of yourself as God sober. It's the most obvious, clear, illuminating thing ever - once you become conscious that you are God.

    It's just full conscious absorption in to yourself as yourself at all times, naturally, automatisk. 

    Sober/high and tripping/not tripping is an arbitrary distinction, no? This "sober" state is just another type of hallucination, like the rest.

  25. Posted · Edited by ThomasT
    Pressed post too soon

    Jesus christ this is no fucking joke.

    Listening to your video about what is reality with my eyes closed i imagine or visualize what you're saying or whatever. And you talk about the psychedelicwhich makes you forgetthat you took it. And i imagine myself in a room talking to someone, and then you say "nono you are imagining ME" and i start shaking a bit and get very very scared.

    I listen on and start to look at my hands. And at one point, my left hand dissapeared while i was looking at it.

    It's pretty dark in my room and my hand blended in with my wall. Poof. Gone. If i move my eyes it comes back. And when i tried to poke the void in its place, it popps up right before my other hand can go through.

    I kept looking in my hand and the grey colour disapeared and a non-viewable black hole appeared and i kept trying to look at it.

    It grew larger and larger, my hand duplicated and more weird shit and cant remember.

    I'm so scared. 

    I AM GOD.

    I CREATE EVERYTHING AS I PLEASE.

    If i dont like my hand it goes poof. 

    I have done 5-meo and would not have this experience without it as it depersonalized me from my hands (help from mushrooms too) and so they are disposable.

    Anyway I'm gonna re-evaluate my entire life, AGAIN. 

    Jesus christ... 

    I made my hand dissapear. 

    I could feel cold in its place. Like taking your hand and reaching into direct experience and having it on the other side. 

    At that point there is no hand, and i have wondered what that would feel like. Now i know, cold. Which is created by my mind and reaction to suddenly having no hand. Which i also imagine!!

    Anyway, thought i would share. This is serious. Not a troll post. Real. 

    What does this mean for my life?