Key Elements

Yes, Leo, I completely agree with what you said here. But, if only PUA or pickup apply Spiral Dynamics to their techniques and embody it. It may be better. It may reduce the chance of having horrible consequences. I'm saying this because I just want people to be happy. Btw, I could see how Spiral Dynamics could be applied to arranged marriages nowadays. I still say go research and go travelling across the world. You're not born knowing all this. Whoever you're with, will he/she be with you till the end? The end of life isn't easy. Research on that. It's your choice.

You are saying such easy / hasty answers. Don't compare Gandhi to this topic. Gandhi had an arranged marriage at age 14, of his same caste, and lived in a different time. Of course he got to bang lots at an early age. Arranged marriage nowadays work differently. It doesn't work like it used to. If you want to find out, research and go there -- to India. Don't judge and jump to conclusions. But, let me tell you this. You probably already know. Sex has consequences. You can't just go and do it. What if you bang the wrong gal? Hmm..what can happen? Be creative on this.

I think what you're missing is not sex. Have the courage to work, find a life purpose, and have the balls to research, find out, and travel to different places -- even Kentucky and India. You can't discover yourself just by having sex.

So, who's stopping you from being a man now and becoming independent from mom and later supporting her?

I have not expressed any of my thoughts on this topic on this forum. Perhaps not everyone will agree. That's ok. We kept on talking about being radically open-minded -- looking at all sides at all different angles. With that said, here is my take on it. You are not "stupid" -- whatever that means. Not being laid is ok. Who is telling you that there is a need to be laid? Peer pressure from friends? The media? Well, they don't know better because life is not just about having sex. There are no rules on not having sex is "bad." This is best when we can think back to our childhood. We were very much aware and not having these strange rules.

@Leo Gura Life is a school. You wrote about life being a school in your blog. "Life is the hardest teacher." This quote is a very common saying because life is meant to be lived, not bypassed, ignored, or lived casually. Shinzen Young did an excellent job in explaining the traps when living this life and pursuing enlightenment. Notice how he mentions "The Enlightenment Trap" and "The Realm of Powers Trap." You cannot spend so much time and energy in these traps. You cannot spend unlimited amount of time and energy finding the right techniques and talking about them endlessly. You have a life to live and master.

Well no, I'm not talking about those cases. Yeah, one has to be careful and not just go with anyone, but unfortunately, sometimes a person is unlucky. If he's a criminal, he's not the one. I'm talking about those (monks/gurus/priests/etc) who try to know you before they try to give advice. You know, if they have to deal with you one-on-one. For example, I knew someone who has a guru as a teacher. (Took place when I was working for a school in India.) I started speaking to her about deeper topics, and she was honest enough to say that she's not ready for those topics. She also told me that her guru knew that she wasn't ready. I met a monk who didn't go into deeper topics right away. He asked me all kinds of questions first. I think I know why they do this. We keep talking about experiencing enlightenment and having samadi experiences. That's fine. But, I don't know if anyone here has had experience of life being a "school." That you got to learn all your lessons first before moving on. Leo talks about it in his blog in one of his articles. To me, it does make sense that life is a school. Just look at Maslow's pyramid. Self-transendence appears at the tippy-top.

They're testing you. Some monks do that in a cunning way to see what level you're on. They have to deal with all kinds of people coming to them. (You know, as Leo like to say it, Zen stick slap. ?)

These are just jokes. Research, self-inquiry, contemplation, meditation is part of the very personal journey to find out. The question cannot just be asked and the answer is not straightforward.

@LaucherJunge Are you kind of getting into paranormal abilities vs going for awareness / no-self? I bet all these topics are interrelated to metaphysics. I heard that paranormal abilities are labelled as "free-will" and going for no-self is not, but don't quote me on this. I also heard that life is a school, and one has to learn all the lessons in one's lifetime, otherwise there will be consequences. Leo wrote about life being a school in one of his article in his blog. Shinzen Young sort of touched on this topic here. This video is a must watch. We are talking about "The Power of Realm Trap" and the "Observer Trap." To me, Shinzen Young describes it beautifully. After some time and some practice, a person understands it deeper. (Anyway, it's a very, very interesting / profound topic for me. I won't go into it here cause it may go off topic.)

@Ryan_047 You have a choice. Have some fun while you're here. Pick subjects / major / career / life purpose according to your interests. Everything don't have to be all mapped out. It could fall into place as you learn to make decisions as you go along. I agree that there is no free-will, but there is a choice. You could choose to do your interests or not. You could choose to incorporate that into a life purpose or not. But, we don't really have free-will on our interests. Some are good in science, some in art, some in music, etc. It's by nature.

Good question. When you are in the present moment, you may become aware of two things -- what to do next (authentic self) or no-self. If you are lucky enough to experience the full-fledged no-self (formlessness/nothingness), that's awesome. No-self is always present. However, when you're fully in the present moment, with very little thinking and analyzing of the past or future, with very little stories in your mind (monkey-mind) because you dropped them, you will be able to clearly do your next step. That is your authentic self. Examples - "It's time to exercise." "It's time to go to my backpack and work on my life purpose." "It's time to cook something healthy." "It's time to clean out that box in the corner." "It's time to meditate." Etc., etc., etc.

@Leo Gura Something interesting... I noticed that it's not easy to ask a question and get the proper answer, esp. when it relates to the most profound - spirituality. For example, if a person with awakenings from a non-psychedelic perspective vs a person from a psychedelic perspective start having discussions and asking questions -- both parties don't think "right" or "wrong" of each other or "good" or "bad." However, when asking a question, they may think that projections are being made. The question may need to be rephrased. Maybe, perhaps, the best thing to do is just arrive at your own conclusions. Or, find the "right" person to talk to one-on-one and share experiences.

Yes, but you got to get creative. Let's say, for example, you make fortune cookies for a living. Inside the fortune cookies, you may put a profound quote or saying like this, "Observe, the present moment: you feel busy & just moved into your new home. You see 10 boxes to unpack in front of you. Thoughts are pouring down on you like rain. Now, let go of all your thoughts. Rid your ego for a moment of unwanted thoughts and emotions. Breath deeply a few times, and unpack one of the boxes. That's all. Relax. One step at a time." Something like this. If you are working on Kindle, think for a moment, how are you going to approach this?

I've been wanting to say this for quite some time now but didn't know how. I would like to comment on the 10 Ox Herding Pics. The 10 Ox Herding Pics is a great guide/map, but as you know, "the map is not the territory." Here is the story told by Shinzen Young: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 *I don't want to forget to include the traps that Shinzen Young mentioned: Traps At the end of the story in part 3, there is this person, and people call him The Cloth Bag Monk. I wonder what could be in the bag? For me, I thought, maybe he carefully planned the gifts, like for example, have fortune cookies wrapped up with something else, like maybe chocolates, to pass out to children and others. In the fortune cookies, there would be some profound quote or saying to teach people something. The Cloth Bag Monk spends his day socializing with children and others - teaching them wisdom in indirect ways. Nowadays, it's not so easy to do this everyday. We have our jobs to go to. Maybe there has to be an alternative way to do this. Like do this in the evenings. To teach wisdom in indirect ways and become a pointer, we think about how to set up our lifestyle so that our time is available for others. If we seriously pursue this, we will probably find out about passive income - making a website, YouTube channel, etc. etc. so that we earn in an alternative way. More info on passive income: Info 1 Info 2 We do look for other alternative lifestyles. Other examples: Info 3 Info 4 However, as we age, or have families, or whatever the reason may be, we still may pursue passive income since we need to watch our health or if going to the hospital is required for emergencies. And also, we live along with nature without destroying it - in great communities with great health care for all. All in all, when we do this, when we align our life purpose + health + startup + nature + spirituality + etc., we have to try not to be obsessed with anything, esp. money and things like that. Then, things will start to fall into place. It will be more automatic, flowing, meditative, and natural as we get better at it. In summary, the Cloth Bag Monk = Leo's recent video: The Topic of Mindfuckery Also, in the end of part 3 of the 10 Ox Herding Pics, the emperor got shocked/surprised (mindfucked), when he was told that The Cloth Bag Monk was the most enlightened person in his kingdom. "Enlightenment is also the realization of knowing how much you don't know." -Ralph Smart

Heaven phenomenon, hell phenomenon, and no-self jokes...

This is a tough one. I would say try to get her to let go and be interested in life again by slowly getting her to be in touch with her interests. Help her explore her interests. I hope she's not around the abuse anymore.

Nice first post and great questions too... I would start with my passions - question myself what I really love to do. What are my interests? Write it down, perhaps in a journal. Explore that and turn it into a career / life purpose. You are in the university now. Try matching the major with your interests / career. Have a career. It'll help you become independent and great learning experience. The next step I would take is to really understand what is my life purpose. How would I get my life purpose like this: Life purpose = startup = passive income? Learn more about what is a startup and what is passive income. Here's the book I recommend: Guide to Investing by Robert Kiyosaki. There is a triangle diagram that looks like this in the book: This is a great puzzle diagram that has helped me get my life purpose. Of course, this diagram would have to be paired off with the Spiral Dynamics diagram starting at stage orange. Leo made a clip on Spiral Dynamics. Of course, Leo has a life purpose course. All at the same time on a daily basis, keep self-inquiry, meditation, and contemplate on what is truth. What does it mean when everything is one?