BringBackBeige

Married people often say "I always knew she was the one" or "there was never a doubt in my mind that we would get married." I never feel like that, and starting to wonder if I ever will. I love the girl I'm with now. We laugh together every day, have a similar sense of humor, and like doing the same kind of stuff. She's not addicted to social media, she's not vain, she's not overly political, gets along well with my friend and family. But when she gets upset, she's on a different planet. There's no talking through it, no compromises, no recourse at all. She will be mad and upset for as long as she wants and there's very little I can do about it other than wait it out, and sometimes her bad moods will last days. Other than that I can see this relationship going far, but it stains everything. I thought I had made up my mind for sure that I had to end things, but then I read "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida, and it was an eye-opening book. If you havent read it, he talks a lot about women and how they express their emotions in ways that are baffling to men. Page after page was a "oh shit, THIS is what's going on in our relationship". Basically it made me think that maybe there's something I CAN do when my girl is in a bad mood. But at the same time I feel like I shouldn't be in a relationship where I have to do a little dance whenever my girl's had a bad day just to preserve the peace. Idk. I've never been more torn about whether to stay in a relationship or not. Most of the time is all laughs, but I feel like I will always be afraid to upset her and always hold myself back from living my 100% truth if I'm with her. Is this how all relationships are? Am I being too picky or holding out for something that doesn't exist? Obviously you're all strangers to me so you can't tell me whether to stay or go, but can you offer advice on how to actually assess your relationship? What are the real questions to ask yourself? Because "you'll just know when it's right" isn't cutting it for me. Thanks

I think what's going on with these people is that they bring in so much fluff from new age practices that it ends up actually obscuring spirituality and causes them to live unconsciously. When they realize this, instead of stripping away the fluff, they see Christianity and how simple it is and just dump what they've learned and switch rather than trying to integrate another set of spiritual teachings into their "spiritual stack". There's definitely a lot of appealing things about Christianity, so I haven't been surprised that it's rebounding in popularity in pop culture (I saw Joe Rogan is going to church now). However, personally, I was raised Christian, so I've already had the experience of getting so deep into religion that it obscures spirituality, so I don't think I'd have any interest in dropping everything and "come back to the lord".

Do y'all pray? Even though god is consciousness and you are god so you're kind of praying to yourself? I've personally started to pick up prayer because I've been into the idea of extracting the spiritual value out of ancient traditions, despite the flaws around the systems they are a part of. I've been enjoying the practice, as it feels like it inhabits a space between contemplation and meditation. It gives me a chance to remember what I'm grateful for in life, and sets my intention for things that I want to accomplish. However, sometimes I get confused when I'm praying, and am wondering if there's a right way to pray as a non-dual spiritual student. I always lead with the giving thanks part, that seems like a no-brainer. But sometimes I'll pray for wisdom to overcome something in my life, or I'll pray for a sense of peace around something that's giving me trouble, but because of the "you are god" truth, it feels confusing. Wondering if anyone here has found a way to take the action of prayer and perform it in a way that's more in line with advanced spiritual practice.

I am using Pocketcast, but I believe the feed should be universal.

I apologize if there's a better place to post this, I couldn't find it. I would be happy to repost where it is more appropriate if that's the case. Anyways! I noticed that there are new uploads from Leo on the Actualized.org YouTube that have not carried over to the Actualized.org podcast feed! The last upload to appear on podcast feeds was "Understanding Gaslighting" in April of 2023. So that means the six most recent lessons are on YouTube but not the podcast feed. Is it possible to correct this so that the new lessons also appear on the podcast feed? Is there a reason that these are not being published on the podcast feed? Personally, it's much easier for me to keep track of and enjoy the lessons via my podcast app rather than through YouTube. Updating the podcast feed would be greatly appreciated from me. Thank you!

I've recently watched the Actualized.org vids on belief, and dualism, and assumptions, and systems thinking, and stage yellow spiral dynamics. In some of these Leo said something to the effect that "your friends aren't talking about this" or suggested the way other people think might be incongruent with yours as you get further into your own development. I've been integrating these ideas more in my life and they have come into the conversations I've had with friends and family, and surprisingly I've found speaking like this opens people up more and they generally have had a good sense that clinging to a belief can be disastrous and that considering things you might be opposed to is important for development. Sure I haven't heard anyone I know mention any of the spiral dynamics stages lol, but so far I've been surprised at how universally the people I talk to are thinking. Maybe part of that is me loosening my grip on my own beliefs and thus being able to value perspective as Right perspective, and not a right or wrong perspective :^) (obviously the title is cheeky clickbait, it's all love)

Are they beige because they are mindlessly fighting for survival? Are they purple because they are territorial and will fight other colonies? Are they red because the queen and her soldier ants rule the colony? Are they blue because they revere the queen? Are they orange because their focus is on expansion of the colony? Are they green because the ants look out for the good of the entire colony? Are they yellow because they understand that every ant's role serves a vital function of the whole? Or maybe they're turquoise, because they've completely done away with all models and beliefs and simply embody all of the values of yellow?

Based Leo

There's a lot of focus in media and culture today to lift up women, which is part of what you're observing. But if you were receiving it you'd see how hollow that support really is. Your struggles would be different but you'd struggle just as much if you were a girl.

You can absolutely fake your vibe. I mean, you make your vibe, even your real vibe is technically fake. So a fake vibe is just as real as a real vibe

I was definitely this way when I first used psychedelics years ago. Quickly I developed a smug attitude thinking I was leapfrogging into enlightenment while the sheeple wandered through life. But of course in reality I was just doing drugs and not leaving my house. The mind is so tricky!

This is effective if you're trying to write an exam without reading the book, but I don't see how this will help you if you actually want to absorb the content. Ask it to summarize a book you've read and know really well and you'll see how much it's leaving out.

Taking benzodiazepines every day or every other day is a bad idea. Trust me, it will not stay at 0.25 mg for long. Benzos can get you out of a pinch, but if you take them regularly you won't actually develop yourself.