PolyPeter

and beyond!

Hi everyone, Yesterday I had the strongest trip of my life. I’m still stunned, processing, integrating. Context: Three years ago I grew my own mushrooms and ate 4 dry grams alone. Six hours of brutal ego death fighting pointy “death mandalas” curled up on the floor under a blanket. I learned what real panic feels like. Forty minutes before the big one I took a 25 mg test hit of changa. Smooth, euphoric, felt like the best weed + clean MDMA ever. Got fully comfortable with the pipe and the feeling. Classic trap. The Fatal Hit: 100 mg in one deep, clean toke. Held 15 seconds. Before I even exhaled I knew I was gone forever. Laid flat on my back. Instant Blindness: Ten seconds after exhaling the same death mandalas from the mushroom trip detonated a thousand times stronger. Ceremonial, aggressive, blinding. No time to calm down. Pure hardcore panic. Fighting for Survival: For what felt like eternity I fought the visuals. Discovered that staying perfectly still made them unbearable, but if I followed strange intuitive body movements (rolling, sitting up, face-down, feet planted on the bed) the mandalas morphed into chrome-neon metallic square hyperspace structures I had never seen before. Kept saying out loud “oh my god… wtf… omg…”. Dying Like My Father: Terror peaked. Suddenly I felt I was dying the same horrible death as my dad eight years ago (alcohol addiction, agony). Deep existential grief and guilt crushed me. Cried inside “I didn’t sign up for this.” The Click of Surrender: Something shifted. The more I let go, the faster the personal self dissolved. Panic melted. Pure consciousness began expanding, the human body was no longer the center of concern. Rocket Launch: Blasted vertically out of my body and house through a tunnel of consciousness. Left Earth’s atmosphere. Brief glimpse of two colossal fractal guardians floating in hyperspace (only fragments of their mandalic structure remain in memory). Saw Earth shrink, then the Moon, then nothing. The Image of the Universe Shrinks to Nothing: Faster than any thought, the entire cosmos I was watching collapsed into a tiny point and simply vanished. One split (human) second of pure, absolute nothingness. No galaxies, no light, no container, no reference. The Absolute Last Void: That nothingness was it. No time. No space. No witness. Just the final, sourceless silence behind everything. The strongest, most undeniable sense of reality I have ever known. And there I was, conscious of it. Completely impossible. Details: Total clock time from exhale to first coherent human thought: 5 minutes and 30 seconds. I used a propper scale to measure the amount of changa precisely. This is absolutely nuts. I know I need to keep exploring this territory, I feel there's more to it, but first I have to fully integrate this hell of a trip. I never expercienced so much Awe, terror, panic, beauty, insanity, and this MASSIVE cosmic view. this experience showed me the power of the universe, how small earth is, the scope of what is possible, the infinite imagination required to give rise to all this, wtf, how is this even possible that I can even write about this !!!! I made a drawing of what I could do with the memories of the mandalas, as they got obliterated by the void, it's not so pro, but I'll share it.

@Leo Gura Got it! no massive dose for complete newbies. There is always more time to try later on (after integration). hahaha, the skiing analogy cracked me up

@Leo Gura Hmm, thats true, I shouldn't take my experience as a measure device for someone else's trips. My friend told me that he wants to go where I went, in a way that led me to think that he thinks this is somehow exciting and fun. This is not for fun and I don't do it for fun. Later today I will try to explain this to him and talk about that the dose should be low first. Thanks for the advice!

Roger that! makes all sense actually. Now, for a "low" dose, what would you reccomend? This changa batch is very strong. For reference, the same dose, with a different technique, produces entirely different results. 25mg, in one hit, would get me really stoned and "sober". One single hit of the 100mg dose will obliterate anyone, but this same dose, in three smaller hits, takes you to DMT-Land, fractals and maybe entities, which is not The Void. I'm thinking that a good choice would be 50mg, in two hits. Or even this might be too much?

@Leo Gura Exactly like that. Eyes wide open even. I’m on day 2 post trip and the memory is still burning. Every detail is crystal clear. The shift is permanent. I wake up and the first thing that hits me is the memory of getting closer and closer to The Void, and then being it, and coming back into my body. and during the day, multiple times, I have flashbacks of the entire event. Normal life feels like a lucid dream I’m choosing to keep dreaming. I feel I've entered "manual" mode. I felt a literal cosmic responsibility: “I have to tell everyone.” but then, another idea hit: no, this is not for everyone. Most people are not ready and many never will be. Some truths are too corrosive for ordinary mind. This is why I thought that sharing the story here would be cool. Questions: This weekend a close friend is going to smoke the exact same 100 mg single hit. I’ll be tripsitting. He says he “wants to go where I went” and intellectually accepts that consciousness is all there is… but I can already smell the ego armor from here. He has no idea how brutal the extraction is when you get dragged instead of walking gently. Any tips for sitting someone who thinks he’s ready for the Last Void but probably isn’t? I’m planning zero talking, dark room, good playlist on low volume just in case, and a blanket ready for the fetal position phase.

@Ramasta9 Thanks!! yes, good advice, will rest.

@Hojo cannot be unseen

@Leo Gura

@Hojo Wawww nice image, reminds me of an lsd trip

@Leo Gura I'm starting to understand what "Awakenings orders of magnitude bigger than the previous ones" actually mean

thoughts??

Hi forum !! I hope you are doing epic Recently, I came across this well-articulated human, who says very confidently that psychedelics, and psychedelic experiences add no value to getting one into "the path". He tries to use Logic to create a narrative to prove the point, but I find it vague and misleading. He says he has the authority to talk because of experience, in the past he took "almost every drug". He is not telling you which or how much or how many times (which makes me doubt instantly). I feel like I he is missing a lot from what's the real value of psychedelics, alongside meditation! Mind experiment: If you ever come across this human, and get to talk with him and he says this things. What would you say to him, in order to truly start to understand what psychedelics can offer, if used properly as tools? I thought that the clinginess that he refers to, is the same clinginess that he has, by not letting go of the idea that psychedelics are essentially bad and just appearances.

Pretty much, but what can you say to someone in that position to reconsider their perspective on psychedelics?

If there is something scarier than this, I don't want to know I hope you can find a way to share with the shaman that the dose was, maybe too much!

Oh shiiiiiit! Guys I wanna reply to every single comment, and I will, but I am a little busy with work at the moment. Thank you in advance for your nice ideas and questioning.

Hi Forum!!! I hope y'all doing good. I want to ask something that has been bugging me. So, in order to understand what Truth means, one must, at some point, accept that one does not understand Truth. To do this, there should at least be a level of self-reflection and ego-dissolution involved. To not know something and to accept the discomfort of that, requires at least some level of honesty and acceptance of one's own lack of understanding. The question is: How do I communicate to other humans the importance of Truth itself, the importance of trying to know Truth on your own, the importance of being smart enough to learn what method you should use to know the Truth, and the many facets of coming up with a solid answer? I'm reading all the comments!!! thanks. BTW: I claim that I have already come to a solid answer, which is not the usual "there is no absolute truth, everything is relative you know, everyone is coming from different background so what is true for them, that's true, and what is scientifically accepted, that's the objective truth". I'm past that bs. What I want to discuss here, is the different methods for communicating the methods and the importance of truth-seeking itself. Also, the distinction between Absolute truth and relative truth are a little bit controversial within my mind, since if something is true, then that's the truth! and should be always the truth regardless of anything else. PD: Truth = Consciousness = What is = Existence = I am

Absolutely!!! and about the deeper exploration, I also agree. But overall I can also see that I am not the only one trying to come up with this sort of ideas, and discussing them with like-minded people could create better ideas faster.

Even me trying to understand how to tell other people that looking for Truth is important not only for themselves but to the evolution of the human species too. The universe is always and will always be the universe, the universe does not care about things in particular, the unity of existence is the unity of existence, yes, tautology, but within the relative domain you can always imagine things to enhance relativistic things! like the enhancement of humanity.

MMMmmmm, I think that under the classic newtonian physics, this is right. But nowadays we have quantum mechanics, telling us that particles are not there until you measure them. Gravity is a consequence of particles having mass. But if in reality there are no particles to begin with, then there is no mass, leading to gravity not being true.

This got me thinking when you think about people who are super super far away from become Aware of Consciousness, and start hurting other people, abusing, exploiting, robbing, we as a society learned that we dont just love them as they are, we lock them up in prison cells, and depending on what they've done, some of them get the Death penalty. That does not sound like "love them as they are" to me. In fact, is loving them as they are that would get us in trouble, because if you did, they would continue to murder and do evil shit. What do you think about this? is there always a clear line between loving people as they are and letting unconscious people get away with their misbehavior? what count as a misbehaving? it varies over time, across the planet... When you say you love them as they are, I think that you should also make explicit what is not acceptable, which is not the same for everyone.

This is certainly true! For now. I can imagine a future of humanity where it is elevating its baseline consciousness and falling into traps is not so common as it is today. Maybe it is the optimistic mindset, maybe is reading the tendencies. Thank you for the answers !!

Ok, this is still difficult to measure or to recognize. Someone can be lying to you about what they want, whether they know it or not. How do you handle this scenario?

I understand, I don't see it too often where I live. I think it has to do wit the location, third world countries may have it a little bit more difficult to have an enlightened population, due to survival issues being more common, I guess. when you say optimistic, you overestimate how ready a human is? has this ever been a problem for you or the other?

Ok!! Thank you for your messages!! This is a veeery long term goal. So, any milestone will be celebrated. You are actually correct when you mention the Don quijote reference, I do feel some of that from time to time, but I will take your advice and not take it personal.