theleelajoker

Love the pic

Oh yeah, I agree. Definitely something that is possible, definitely that's is a worthwhile goal. Working towards this and already see some progress. For me it feels like a pendulum, finding the balance between the "don't care/need anything" and "need too much outside validation". Having experienced the far polarities it's now about being aware and competent in regulating the swings towards healthy balance

Great thought. With some things, I fell in the "I don't want" trap but it was rather "telling myself I don't want to because I am scared to fail"

What I see is either the validation from the outside you mention or the "I don't care" or "I don't want this don't need this" stoic attitude. It's kind of tricky because the defense mechanisms to both paths are not easy to see for oneself, quite deep in the subconscious IME.

Amazing, absolutely love the idea!

+1 I said something similar recently, in a conversation with a friend, although in different context. But you said it much better

Lol that made me laugh Simply because I find it very much on point.

+1 Really liked the write up, too. Quite impressive. There's power in choosing and assuming. And I hope your choices pay off for you. IME just not always simple to change believes just like that, it requires certain kind of experiences. Like the paradox> "truth"

Social circle can be great. But would not necessarily say that cold approach takes a lot of effort. You just go where you would go naturally, and then you talk to someone that interests you who's also at the same place. Rough estimate, I would say that of all of women I got somehow involved with I met maybe 1/3 through social circle 1/3 through random encounters (bars, street, train etc) 1/3 through dating apps and similar Even if the shares even out now, the weights vary across different periods of my life. The more open I got, the more random encounters happen. And before someone asks: yes, the 1/3 estimate is based on three women in total that's where I get the accuracy from.

@thierry Re sex = attachement I wasn't really clear before. One the one hand, sex of course does create some attachment, especially when you have sex several times / for an extended period. And yeah sex creates more attachment then going out etc. What I was thinking about is the times I had sex with girls and they (me) did not become attached. It's complex, depends on individuals, connection, lots of context etc. IME it's just not a simple equation as "you have sex with her and then she's attached". But Also: your world, truth and other worlds, truths. Yeah, agree just got to think about placebo effect Re your story : Interesting how things can go:D Re the devil: I think you have to sell your soul to the devil. You can’t maintain perfect integrity, honor, and honesty and still understand male–female relationships. Otherwise, you stay on the surface without ever going down the rabbit hole. Curios about other opinions. Is it unrealistic ideal to have open, honest, cooperative relationships? Male - female, and in general. Or is the next step for human interaction to evolve towards higher integrity?

Just be patient I guess. Wouldn't do anything else than what you do already. Similar interests are a good basis. I often meet friends in new places though other friends. So they came to visit, knew other people and connected me with them. You know someone that knows someone in Stockholm?

My POV: it's all one system. What you talk about correlates close with your body. Mental limits = emotional limits = physical limits = energetic limits. You can seemingly "isolate" one part of the system, and then you limit perception, but it's still one system, or one consciousness. I agree on the enigma. It's like a puzzle, and you need to find the pieces, and then how they fit together.

No warning points. But a knock with a french baguette seems warranted.

While I agree about the content - does anyone actually know someone acting like that? I mean, there is obviously a degree to all of it. Like you said for instance "excessive jealously". Of course there why time where I was jealous, but I also had two open relationships so in my mind I'm not very jealous type.

Yes. Same.

I prefer tradition

And a bigger club.

The bold part. That's the crucial part for me. My big awakening this year was how crystal-clear I could see how my own life, experiences is reflected in others. It got so crazy to a point that I had difficulties taking other humans seriously. Sometimes still have. One small example, our exchange here. Similar experiences, similar challenges, similar perspectives. You said you have an older sister, too? 2 years older, yes? Now take a guess how much older my sister is hahahaha Now this happens once, twice,...10 times and it's just like "ahhh OK, interesting". But my life soon consisted to a large degree of synchronicities, reflections, mirroring. Sometimes it was so intense, I people started saying something, and I could sense in their energy was coming next. Because I had the experience before, sometimes hours ago, sometimes days ago. Or vice versa, I would say something and the other would react "What? Really? You experienced this as well?" Some people will think I am crazy, but recently talked about it with a friend that is relatively sensitive to reality herself. She knew immediately was I was talking about, she was relating to it. Because she has the same experience sometimes. But now it get's funny..because OF COURSE she has the same experience, because she's reflecting my experience This transpersonal stuff is interesting but also kinda scary. It's possible to go in circles with this. That's why I always think of this picture I got here the same way you describe. First, self observation. Self awareness. Second, many hours a) contemplating human behavior (alone and with others) and b) interaction, interaction, interaction with others.

Thx man, appreciate it. Please correct if wrong: Thinking about it, and leaving all this phallic & castration terms aside, it comes down to: Go for what you want (your desires) and either achieve it Or accept that you want it, but don't have it now / can't achieve it now and feel the difference between ideal/actual self Or change your desire (if possible) No.3 is dangerous because of defense mechanisms; you might tell yourself you don't want it, but actually you want it without feeling difference ideal/actual self Object of desire is individual (for some it's car, money, freedom, social impact etc etc) My personal experience does not really fit this: Men suppress in my experience just differently. They might go actively for the outside object, but they neglect their inner state. Or they are equally anxious, they are just not in touch with them enough to notice. The materially most successful men I know are deeply unaware of their inner states and extremely disconnected from their body. Same time, I have seen women that are very active, although I have seen the anxiety as well oc. As so often, it's IME much more personality type then gender.

@Schizophonia PP = profile pic? If you mean that, I would not go so far and say "most of the time". Sometimes. This one...yes. I would add - accept it. It easier said then done. Don't try to change it. Live what you fear. My last problem got "solved" when what I feared happened. When it happened, and I was like..."OK it's actually not as bad as I thought. Now that it happened, how can I move on"? But I have to add that the last problem before that, I wasn't able to drop it just like that took quite a while

Now you're weak. Lost your club and wily not as biggy as you say. Uagagagagagahhh

A person (Leo) that is very committed to thinking and meta stuff says that thinking and meta stuff makes you more happy. An professional athlete will say that movement and competition makes you happy. A gardener will tell you that taking care of plants will make you happy. What will a bakerman say? Look at how people behave. Literally, **** what they say, don't trust words alone. We all tell us a lot of BS stories just go avoid cognitive dissonance. Seeing, feeling, being with someone in real life is IMO the only way to verify is a persons words match their actions.

I experienced all sides of the spectrum: I talk about it, people look at me and are like WTF? I don't care Interesting but only interesting for you, not for me It's a drug! A bad, mean drug! Interesting, but I am scared Interesting, tell me more HOLY SHIT TELL ME MORE PLEASE Please tell me more + I want to do it I do it, too! (that's when the fun begins) My experience: The more open you are about it, the more people you meet that are open about it. Don't go on an ideological crusade telling people what they should do, or how great it is. Stick with your own experience and everything is good. Never felt like hiding it. You have A LOT OF POWER AND INFLUENCE on if and how to present it in your life. Other then this: +1 to @Cireeric

Great description. It's so funny when you start to integrate that insight into real life, people, events etc @PurpleTree Beautiful pictures thanks for posting

Yeah, sometimes it's really strange how fluid physical reality can be. Have some small shifts sometimes sober without taking anything. There is just this strange feeling of...hmm that is unexpected, that is different, was that really there before? What brought you in the psych ward?