theleelajoker

Resonates. With some disclaimer on "life clearly tells you".... sometimes I feel that I these directions are covered by layers of conditioning that makes it hard for me to have a clear picture. Yeah sure it can be figured out, others help me, life gives pointers in my experience but evasion can be very tricky because conditioning not only hides what we are avoiding but also that we are avoiding. But the general message of your posts: I am with you. And the more I seek interaction, honesty, openness and intimate and authentic connections with others, the better things tend to get. And I'm tired of the "no self nothing exists etc etc". Whatever you call it, the energetic structure exists and I can feel that is has some movement. Now "my job" is to align with it as best as possible

OK I looked up the word. It showed me different meanings. Two examples: What I understood : think, reflect, consider, think about, ponder What you mean: consider, view, look at, regard, contemplate, look upon Non-native speaker here, contemplating was always the first meaning for me

"Yeah, I tried to make it experiential through the examples but the truth is people have to spend those hours contemplating this stuff themselves" That's exactly the problem I am pointing to. I say "experience" and you understand "contemplating". Our whole culture is so fucked up with this thinking and contemplating and this forum maybe even more. IMO this teaching of contemplating is nothing but creating the illusion of a solution, the illusion of control. It's a trap. Experience it by feeling it within the boundaries of your own body. Experience it by observing external reality with choiceless awareness. Just let things happen and observe. Consciously observe and gently cooperate with your point of attention. And for God's sake stop contemplating about what you're doing. Sometimes I want to physically grap people, shake then up and shout at them to get out of their fucking head. Probably others feel like doing the same with me from time to time but nobody ever had the courage to do it lol

It does answer why it is the way it is right now, doesn't it? Because there it's the only way, no other choice, no crossroads, no options. And re the raw deals... definitely. You get nothing but agreement from me on that.

Express yourself as authentically, as openly, as honestly as you can See what happens

I don't KNOW obviously but maybe because there is no other choice? Maybe it's the only way "life", "God" or "existence" or whatever u want to call it can experience itself right now, at least in this dimension? Yeah now people will say infinite can do anything etc...maybe it's true. Maybe not.

Valid points. Constructivism is IMO am important perspective people should know U know inner worlds outer worlds and the samadhi series from Daniel Schmidt? He does a absolutely wonderful job diving into this There is one thing missing in your video: HOW to take responsibility? HOW to constructively create? IMO you have to consider: EVERYBODY knows this creation process subconsciously. But there is a reason why it stays subconscious. Giving facts and explaining the process is a step, but for 99.9% just knowing or hearing this will not makes difference in everyday life Experiential knowledge is key 🗝️

I see you're still looking

In the past, I have heard and seen so much definitions, discussions, dilutions, delusions and other BS surrounding this term "Enlightenment" and "Awakening" especially here in this forum. Enlightenment is this, sainthood is this, awakening is that etc etc. So when I saw the definition "7 factors of Enlightenment" given by Siddhartha Gautama I was wondering: Why not use this as a basis for having a discussion about this enlightenement state/process as objectively as possible? According to all sources I know, there seems to be pretty valid consensus that Buddha knew what he was taking about (correct me if you know credible evidence that the Buddha was full of shit) So when you talk about definitions of being awake and enlightened etc, either a) make transparent that you created your own "elightmentment defintion" or b) let's refer to these 7 factors. And talking about being "enlightented" or "fully awake" or other similiar claims: So if you can truthfully confirm to be at least very close to all these factors, we can have a serious discussion. Disclaimer: Of course, this approach is not perfect. E.g. the translations and interpretations vary due to the nature of Pali language of that time and the nature of language itself. For instance, when I read about the meaning of the 7 factors on different languages, the connotations, the meanings change a bit. That's the reason why I did not put a link or list of the 7 factors here - better to do your own research with the source and language of your choice. Still, even when not perfect, this approach is IMO better then anything else I have seen so far. Happy to hear feedback on how to improve this appraoch.

The presence of others give me hope. The presence of others give me strength. A deep and honest hug, listening, just sitting there, sometimes cuddling, sometimes walking together, sometimes be being there for them, sometimes vice versa. If intellect and self education failed you in the past, have you experienced connection with others? Mentally, emotionally, physically? Sometimes it's people I have known for long time, sometimes it's a stranger I have known for 5 minutes but the connection is so deep as if we knew each other for 5 years. Anything is possible.

When I read your post, this resonated: Personal development often involves virtues like personal responsibility or being the best person you can be. These virtues strike at our deep insecurity about our own inherent goodness because of our internalized shame. I have been avoiding relationships and dating because i feared they would lead to more abuse, but also I devalued love because of how easily it could be betrayed. I therefore elevated meaning making and purpose above intimacy. I thus became deeply philosophical and intellectual because I thought intelligence would help restore my sense of self-worth. My specific trauma explains perfectly why I would be drawn to a place like actualized. I wanted to find answers, and this site seemed to have them. However, despite trying the life purpose course I still feel lost. You just need to scroll through the dating sub forum, or the spirituality sub to see how many people say "truth" and "God Realisation" above everything else while avoiding or condeming intimacy. There is a "teaching" on this site and this teaching allegedly solves your problems. Why it can help to a degree, I also find that misleading. There are so many stories created in this forum, saying that if you contemplate this, understand that, do this then you attract and get this and that. And if all these stories were true, I never would have had any happiness, any friends, dates or even girlfriends. But actually I get more and more the impression that people and girls like me not despite, but because I don't meet all these lofty criteria. Recently I was in a bar, I met a guy, he said "man you look lost". I said "yes" and talked to him a bit. A third guy entered the conversation. "Is there anybody that isn't lost?" So yes, I can relate. I am not sure I see through my trauma responses as clearly as you do, but I as of now it's like you said in the OP about the self value: it all comes down to the believe that I need to get somewhere, need to be different than I am now. That I get judged if I am just the way I am now, that I need to be ashamed for who I am. As soon as I manage to drop this believe and act out of the present moment, things align All the best on your journey!

My experience with trauma and psychedelics is: It did help - sometimes and to some degree. Other times my system was not able to process properly. (first time LSD was breakthrough experience, first time Ayahuasca was intense but not 'healing" for me) Doing it all by my own was not the solution. Is part of your trauma that you try to do things on your own because there is shame or because you don't think anyone else can help you or sth similar? If yes, I would take some distance from psychedelics for a while. Built relationships with people that are on a similar journey. Life will support your when you set the intention I had more lasting effects with long meditation retreats then with taking psychedelics over years many times. The difference for me is that with the first, you learn to let go while with the latter you are kinda "forced to let go" I have seen people doing psychedelics many times and they are still the same. Others benefited. Everybody is different. Trust your intuition. Be patient. Learn what your body tells you sober & while tripping. Gradually learn where your intention is right here & right now and gradually learn how to bring it gently within your body Integration after trips is key. In my experience: Less tripping, more integration efforts is good. Have professionals or very knowledgeable people around you after trips and express what has been kept inside When you trip: Do you have some you trust, sme you feel comfortable around, someone that can provide a loving, accepting presence for you? If yes, cuddle while tripping. Maybe sounds strange but give it a shot if it resonates

My proposal: If you have the chance, take some time off. Criteria: You're on your own as much as possible Out of daily routine and responsibilities as much as possible Be as much as possible in your body (watch where your attention is during the day) Minimum of intellectual distractions What you are doing is fun for you Hike in the mountains, meditation retreat, camping, bike tour, whatever is your thing. Pretty confident this will help help you to find some answers or at least the first steps (which is all you need)

I read through the posts and from my perspective, there are many projections. I see people wanting to see and experience the world in a certain way and consequently creating a story that fits this view. Why I believe so? Because I have direct experience that contradicts certain views. Not being able to find girls that are into spirituality and truth seeking? Guys, what world are you living in? Not every one of my (ex)GFs fulfilled this criteria, but there are many attractive women I personally know that do. Just talk to them authentically and maybe you'll be surprised. Relationships and women as distractions? Can be. It depends on how you do it. No one taught me more about life then the the women I dated truthfully and authentically. Female intuition is incredibly powerful in my experience. No woman worth dating? My heart was broken many times but life got me in touch with incredible women afterwards again and again. Will one of them cause another heartbreak? Most likely. Will there be another woman that will tend to these wounds and give care, love and gentleness? I don't know, but history tells me "yes". Was it worth it ? 100%. Even if I was sometimes not able to say this in the heat of the moment. You think u need to play games? Well, if you think you have to do this then this will be your reality. I believe the pickup scene ruined perspective on male-female interactions. It's all about manipulating the other person instead of true connection. You really think women are interested in playing games and manipulating men? I call BS. That's loose-loose. Watch human interactions closely, without prejudice, and maybe your perspective will change. My experience: the more authentically I express how I feel, the more life rewards me (also with great women that cross my path)

Let me know when you found that stick

What did you smoke my friend? You project "religion" and "buddhism" on a post where I talked about the definition of a concept / word According to the sources I know, "religion" was the last thing Buddha wanted. Rather emphasis on personal experience. IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU PROJECTING THEIR OWN BS ON THINGS THAT PREVENTS TRUE OPENNESS AND LEARNING ITS YOU MAKING A RELIGIOUS ISSUE of this post I never said anything related to that ITS YOU MAKING A POINT of "mixing and matching knowledge" and indicating that I try to prevent that. DID YOU FUCKING READ THE PASSAGE WHERE I SAID "Happy to hear feedback on how to improve this approach"? I am not a Buddhist and I don't try to convert anyone I could go on but you are so stuck in your fear of whatever that you are so closed-up it's worthless to discuss any further. In German there is a saying "the stick in your arse never becomes a backbone". No idea why I have this conversation with you and think of this saying, must be pure coincidence..

Dude, are you trolling me or stuck in your own BS? Show me where I used the word "buddhism" in my OP. You can pick elements and parts of ideas and ignore the rest. It's like saying "I don't eat vegetables because I am not a vegetarian" lol

Heh? I have no idea where "religion" is coming from now Cambridge dictionary: Religion = the belief in and worship of a god or gods, or any such system of belief and worship As far as I see it, I proposed a defintion for a word/concept based on the (assumed) statements of another person

To what?

Ah yeah now I can see what you mean

@PurpleTree I liked your OP but I hesitated at "Ego is trying to be special" You mean this in a way of "ego is making things personal" or "ego is making things about itself"? Because in some way, we all are special in playing our role in this life, aren't we? So I would call myself special, just the same as I would call that you or anyone else

I only do it in organized settings. Can absolutely recommend it. Did 10 days, 8 days, 3 days retreats. Tried alone at home but did not work for me so I get your issue

Yeah I agree with your perspective. For me it's about getting better in reading these energies and then getting also better in acting on these energies. What it is? Well, that's really a good question where I don't have any answer

What if you see "meditation" simply as "being aware, being present, being open, in a state of acceptance" As a simple way of directing your attention? You can do that almost any time. Waiting for the bus, walking, etc. Really "sitting down for meditation" is for me then simply a more intense way of doing what I strive to do anyway in any situation. I don't see meditation and life as strictly separate. Also, how you do things matter. I sometimes get incredible results (changes in my state of awareness) in short time

How?