jdc7733

Like, every explanation for everything always ends up seeming false, at a later point, so, I’m just gonna go with everything is acausal and that’s it. See what life serves me up next lol. I don’t know whether to leave this forum or not, because, I’m just kinda like, done, with spiritual work, at the time being. I’m kinda satisfied with just lying in bed, doing nothing (apart from sometimes wanting food, soft drinks, drugs, alcohol etc.) I don’t even hear many voices anymore and I just kinda like ignore everything that is bad. I still get paranoid but, like, I just think, worse things have happened.

@tuku747 I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Everything is one thing, but, which one is it? I say it’s the number 1 bus… But there’s more than one 1 bus, so, which one is it? I was going home on the 1 bus and thought it must be the one I’m on… The 1 bus is the one thing, but, I am the one bus… There’s only one and that’s me.

I've had temporary "I'm fixed" moments, after high doses of ketamine, but, I've found that you need to realise that almost everything you think is just a thought and not to take anything you think too seriously, since, there are an infinite number of things that you could think of could happen. I mean, I'm sure I'll have new things to deal with in the future, but, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Spiritual work is interesting but it won't get you anywhere. You'll just go through different states of mind until you die. That's it.

@Buck Edwards everything is about the soul. Everyone is just trying to work out what makes them happy.

@Buck Edwards I have spent much time trying to find answers and raise my consciousness, escape suffering and generally trying to get a connection with whatever is causing things. I believe that everything has the same cause or everything is acausal.

@Buck Edwards a relationship where I feel a sense of connection.

@Buck Edwards writing albums and developing healthy relationships are the only things I can think of.

@Buck Edwards isn't basically everything spiritual?

@Leo Gura' You will go from many amazing states of mind and the die and go into even more profound states of mind.' True, but, I just don't feel ready to be swept away by something again.

@Leo Gura iit's not negative, I just don't care about anything for the time being. I mean, I kinda get the sense that I should care but I'm like, I'll just ignore that until I have to deal with it in the future. I'm taking a break is all.

@Buck Edwards I used to want answers. I used to want to develop healthy relationships. I used to want to go through great highs (organic or otherwise), but, now I just want to like stay within the range of just being okay, simple and not caring about anything. True nihilism. Not coming into to you, but, you seem kinda cute and my cold heart nearly jumpstarted hahahahaha. This is just so pathetic but it's bringing me a lot of amusement. I always find ways to laugh at unfortunate or absurd situations.

@Leo Gura it's not that I know, it's just that I cba thinking anymore, so, I've just reversed to something easy to understand.

@Buck Edwards carrot on the stick.

Stop focusing so much on what God wants and just open your mind to what you can experience. You will get nowhere by just trying to see the evil in God. There could've an infinite number of things God wants for you next.

Can I change what is predestined to happen?

My latest idea is that there is just nothing and things come out of it. No infinite love, no infinite different things in other “places”, no god, no subconscious.

@Holykael The way I got out of this thinking is by thinking here we go, gods gonna serve me up something new and I have no idea what it is.

Since I am god, it should be possible?

@Hojo Why aren’t I happy, at least half the time, then?

I have done lots of research into the relationship between dopamine receptors, dopamine and various mental illnesses. If your dopamine levels are too high or low, this can lead to psychosis both in the short term or long term, or, various other mental and physical illnesses. I’m sorry, but, most daily pleasures don’t give you enough of a dopamine kick to make your “dopaminergic system out of whack.” Dopamine levels fluctuate regardless of what you do. It is the seeking of pleasure rather than the pleasure itself, that is bad, but, to get over the seeking of pleasure you must get over the pleasure itself.

I’ve tried forgiveness. I forgive. I’ve tried losing my sense of identity. I’ve tried being more open minded. I’ve tried putting more effort in with the people who are close to me. I just don’t know how to connect with people.

@Leo Gura I think of it more of a dance or other performance. I just don’t know if there’s some sort of goal.

Why is life like just a bunch of pointless shit? I mean, I don’t mind it most of the time, but, what is it with life and just being mostly doing repetitive, boring shit and having strange thoughts and emotions. What is life up to? Am I missing the point of this?