Jordan

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Posts posted by Jordan

  1. Posted

    I really enjoyed this latest episode. It did not make be feel bad or like he is contradicting everything he said in the past. It was really interesting to consider that god could expand itself infinity to other gods becoming one with them and that god could play a game with himself by becoming avatars to experience being limited. 

    I think Leo said that everything is imagination but there are more consistent imaginations we call reality so those consistent imaginations could be differentiated from the inconsistent imaginations by calling the consistent ones reality and the inconsistent ones imagination. I think this is pretty simple and I am not sure why this would make people depressed. 

    If you get depressed by one of Leo's episodes I think you are taking your interpretation of what he is saying much too seriously. You need to take your interpretation of what he said and see if it makes sense in your own experience and if it is actually negatively effecting your life, become aware of this effect and consider taking a break from these ideas. You can take some time to get your own understanding from meditation and being aware of what is true for you experimenting with your own ideas of what could be true.  

  2. Posted

    I took 5MEO DMT 3 times since I last posted. 2 at 2.5 scoops which were much stronger than the last time. I defiantly was not in the mood to walk around. I did not seem to get much out of them but it did help me get used to how it feels. I took 3 scoops for the most resent one which was hard to know what was happening. I was very focused and my body felt like it was shaking a different parts. I felt some energy moving and had to gasp for air at some points as emotions / energy was moving through my body. After coming back from it I did feel very grateful for my girlfriend.

    I have been meditating averaging over an hour a day for the last 3 weeks or so. Some days it is around 3 hours, some days just 10 min. I started getting vivid dreams this last week and have been waking up in the middle of the night from them. They were nice dreams though.

    In one dream, I was sitting on a raft with a propeller on the back heading towards an island. As I got closer to the island I could see the most beautiful mountains and scenery all around me. There was some guy across from me talking about something not very important. I responded to him but I was just thinking why would this guy waist time with words? the surroundings were leaving me speechless. I was crying from being so happy. Later, I was being taught by someone how to meditate while free diving. I was expected to hold my breath for 4-5 min while sitting at the bottom of a small lake.

    In another dream I was traveling by foot. I think it was through china. I trespassed through people's farms making sure I was not spotted and asked a powerful person over a large screen voice chat for permission to cross his land so I could get to my destination. I could not remember my path I took to get there or where I started from when looking at a map.

    I forget my other ones right now but Maybe I will write them down in the mornings when I wake up. I have been pretty tired this week from waking in the middle of the night. I hope my sleep gets a bit better as I continue meditating a lot. 

    I got Covid 19 the last couple weeks so I stopped taking the ALA and DMSA. I will do a chelation cycle staring Monday

     

  3. Posted

    I found it useful to switch from trying with all your effort and willpower to focus doing mindfulness with labeling then relaxing your effort and letting your subconscious take over. Eventually you will be able to focus much without putting effort into it and your consciousness will increase over time. It helps to have a good reason to meditate to help motivate you to keep that willpower strong. The recent video on levels of consciousness was a good reminder for me to spend some time with 100% effort on focusing. 

  4. Posted

    It will help to realize that when they are putting you down, they are just trying to do their best to live their best life. They might not feel comfortable seeing you change and want to deter you from it. If you are nasty to them, it will make you feel worse and make the situation worse. Try to see people with compassion and that they have no choice but to act the way they do based on their values and conditioning. If you look at it from this perspective you should feel more compassion than anger.

  5. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    On 3/21/2022 at 11:07 AM, Realms of Wonder said:

    Fascinating, thank you for documenting and sharing your journey :)

    NP :D

    An hour and a half ago I took 1.5 scoops which I think was around around 8mg of 5-MEO DMT. It was a new batch and the HCL version. My previous trips were with the freebase version and it was a new batch so I took a smaller amount than I did with the old batch. It had about the same intensity of effect as when I took 15mg of the freebase. I meditated and contemplated for about an hour about what a concept is right before the trip.
     

    After around 5 min of laying down semi-prone, I turned onto my back. I felt a bit nauseous and I knew from past experience not to sit up until the feeling passes. About 10 minutes in I was feeling a bit better, sat down cross legged on my bed and looked around the room. I found myself concentrating on a fan in my room, the door nob, my mind was asking all sorts of questions and I was just becoming immersed into the present experience. Emotions came up stronger than previous times and I found myself stand up and walk into my kitchen. I decided I would cook some food because I could tell that I would be very hungry after the trip ended. A couple times I had an inspiration to eat some of the zucchini I was chopping and really feel and taste it with all my attention. I just experienced what it was like to cook while savoring all the sights and sounds. I observed thoughts coming into my experience like "be careful with that knife" "you are not sober so be extra careful" "Pay attention not to cut your fingers, It will hurt a lot if you do." all these thought were accompanied by flashes of internal images. I finished cooking and enjoyed my meal. trying my best to be focused on the taste and body sensations of chewing. 

    It was an interesting experience. It effected me more than I expected. I don't plan to increase more than a half scoop each time. I think I will try to stay seated on my bed for at least an hour next trip. I bought 525mg of 5-MEO DMT so this batch will last a long time I think. I also have 525mg of 5-MEO Malt I might try after I have a more experience with 5-MEO DMT.

     

  6. Posted

    The speed of light is a concept imagined in your mind. In your mind, it imagines that in the nature of this experience, according to people's observations, that there is a limit to the speed of light. Where did this present moment come from? It came from itself. The experience exists as an experience, exactly as it is. Nothing else exists. The only absolute truth is the present experience. All other truths are relative based on imagination and memory. It is relatively true that there is a limit to the speed of light. Is it relatively true that god created this limit? I would say yes if you assume god created everything as it is then this is relatively true but not absolutely true.

  9. Posted

    5MEO Trip

    2 days ago, on March 19, 2022, I used the last of my 5MEO DMT. It was around 3.5 scoops so I think around 24-25mg. It had a stronger affect than the last time at around 21 mg as expected. The concept that there was an observer was gone. My mind kept asking questions like what is truth, what is god, what am I. I only had the experience of the sights sounds and body sensations when I waited for the answer. Having a concept that there is also something observing the sights sounds and body sensations is adding something extra onto it. I tried to contemplate what my priorities should be. I came up with healing my knees, spending quality time with my girlfriend and her kids and learning to be present and accepting of uncomfortable situations. I ordered 500mg of HCL 5MEO DMT and 500mg of 5MEO MALT so that should last me a long time once it arrives. 

    Heavy Metal Detox

    I am on my 7th round of DSMA. the first 4 weeks i took 100mg every 4 hours. Now I take 200mg every 4 hours 4 days and 3 nights on then 3 days and 4 nights off. I didn't have any nightmares anymore. A couple times I forgot to take it and I either started again the next day or took it when I could. The biggest side effect was when I took it then forgot on the 2nd or 3rd dose while I was at work. I just felt agitated and tired. I ordered more DSMA with some bottles of ALA this time. I hope it arrives safely. It should have been close to 7 weeks since I ordered it. 

    Meditation

    I have been meditating off and on between 15min -1 hour usually every few days or so. I find it hard to sit still for more than 15-20 min recently because I just seem to move forgetting that I am not supposed to be moving. It seems to be more emotionally difficult than before. My knees do not hurt too much while meditating luckily. I used to be able to do 1 hour with not much problem. 

    Knee Healing

    I have been doing the zero ATG program from the knees over toes guy for around 4-5 weeks. It is basically a bunch of physio type exercises for your leg strength and flexibility to help with improving knee pain. I think it is helping but it is hard to tell. I really would like to be able to jog without pain for an hour so I can train my girlfriend's son this summer. He wants to be a professional soccer player. 

     

     

  10. Posted

    I was very impressed that Joe  Rogan was able to get him to talk so much about it. I really have no experience with paranormal stuff he was talking about but it was really interesting. It is nice to hear Sahd Guru talk about something new. He seems to repeat a lot of the same points which is good in come ways but this talk was great. 

    I also liked how Joe kept pinning him down trying to get him to reveal exactly what someone needs to do to get started taking control of their wellbeing. 

  12. Posted

    I am an introvert. Some benefits I have noticed that I can think of off the top of my head:

    - I find that people listen to me when I speak much more than with my extrovert friends. People seem to think what I have to say is well thought out because I don't say much.

    - I am happy meditating, exercising by myself, playing video games, without having to spend money doing social things.

    - Some girls really like introverts, I have had the same girlfriend for 10 years but if I was looking for one I think it would not be hard for me without having to try to imitate an extrovert. Just listen well, have a sense of humor and find out through trial and error what she likes. 

    - As for getting a good high paying job, I would agree that it is more of a challenge. I don't feel a strong desire to have a high paying career since I just need a bit of money to be happy and do the things I want to do right now. 

     

  13. Posted

    I enjoyed reading your post. I really want to try meditating for an hour in the morning and evening. It has been in the back of my mind to do it for a while. Purifying my mind does sound worthwhile. I have been prioritizing keeping my girlfriend happy, working and trying to heal my knees. Since I have not meditated consistently, sometimes I can go an hour without moving but often I don't last more than 20 minutes. I will give it a try starting tonight.

  15. Posted

    I received my order of DSMA on Tuesday January 25th. I plan to take 100 mg every 4 hours for 4 days then take 3 days off. I took my first 100mg pill at 1am on Wednesday.

    That night I had a nightmare where I was at work and I collapsed and started going unconscious due to taking the DSMA. I then had another dream about being sick and not knowing if i should call in sick for work or call the ambulance. I tried to get out of bed but then fell back into the bed and started going unconscious again.  

    The side effects while awake was sleepyness, light headache, larger appetite and thirst. peeing more. wednesday night I slept better and thursday night was even better.

    I think the 100mg dose is not too much for me. I will plan to do 4 rounds then move up to 200mg every 4 hours. After 4 rounds at 200mg I will try adding some ALA. 

     

    I did not take any 5MEO DMT recently. I need to order more, I think I have around 10mg left

  17. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    5 minutes ago, fopylo said:

    @Jordan

    Thing is that my jaw area tends to tension when I focus on my breath

    Ohh that happens to me too. You can try switching to a mindfulness meditation where you focus on any tension as you breath in and allow it to relax as you breath out. I often have tension in my jaw and shoulders. When i first noticed my shoulder tension, I felt them drop what seemed like 2 inches as I relaxed them. Check your jaw, face, shoulders and stomach. After you feel more relaxed try going back to your normal meditation technique. If it still really bothers you there are other meditation methods you can try too. It is important to try to be as physically comfortable as you can as you meditate even though emotional discomfort and a bit of pain is ok. 

  18. Posted

    All you have to do is focus on the sensation of you stomach expanding and contracting as you breath as if it is the first time you are experiencing it. You want to try to become fascinated with it and not assume you know what the next breath will be like. Try to realize how amazing and beautiful it is to be able to experience taking a breath. Over time you will eventually experience less thoughts and concepts come up as your mind rewires itself and becomes better at focusing.

    When you think to yourself about what the meditation instructions are or how it is so hard not get distracted, just become aware that those thoughts have come up. Accept the thoughts are now the focus of your attention and part of the meditation, try to see or hear them as clearly as possible, then move your attention back to your stomach. You are not supposed to keep your attention in one spot the entire time. The benefit comes from realizing that your focus has been thrown off, getting a better awareness of what your mind is doing as it does it. That it is all part of the meditation.

    So over time you will get less thoughts constantly coming up as you focus on your stomach but the goal is to become aware of things as they are. This includes the thoughts that are there when trying to focus so you are not doing anything wrong if you have many thoughts. What you experience is the truth of what is there.

  20. Posted

    Hey, I think this is a great opportunity for you. I am curious to read a trip report from you too.

    I recommend you read some trip reports and watch some trip report videos. Don't avoid the bad experiences that other people have had. Try to learn what the dangers are too. If you are not meditating every day already then It might be a good time to start a bit now. Meditate the days following your trip to try to get a better understanding of the experience.

    5-MEO is the only psychedelic I have tried and I have had good experiences so far. Have a nice trip.

  22. Posted · Edited by Jordan

    Hey, I am going to journal my 5-MEO trips, meditation and health stuff like heavy metal detox, trying to heal my knee pain, getting back into rock climbing eventually exc.

    I originally created a post for information on what I need to know about taking 5MEO DMT. I started journaling there and I will copy what I wrote below.

    Trip 1 - Oct 22, 2021

    I plugged 8mg of 5-MEO DMT today. It was an interesting experience. 

    It was like my concepts of who I am and my life would be there then disappear for several seconds. I was just left with my visual field of my ceiling or hands and tingling through my body. I kept alternating between the 2 states.

    Thoughts would come up slowly like “Am I still breathing? Can I even move my body? Did I take the right amount? It would be followed with taking slow deep breaths, slowly wiggling my fingers or raising my hands to look at them and reassuring myself that I was careful and prepared.

    My vision was very focused I lost sense of time and worries about time came up but faded away quickly after realizing that it wasn’t important if time seemed to move slowly or not. 

    It lasted right around an hour when I felt the need to get up and eat some food.

    The main insight I got was that the present moment should be a higher focus of mine over concepts like imagining what I did or will do at work. It really seemed like I am waiting my life by imagining instead of experiencing. I need to work on experiencing more which includes a more consistent meditation practice.

    It was a small dose. I think I will try 10-11mg next time in 2-3 weeks when i find a good time to do it.

    Trip 2 - Oct 24, 2021

    I tried taking 5-MEO DMT again just 2 days after my first try. 
     

    I felt like I did not take enough to get many realizations the first time but it was a nice easy start that at least got me interested in continuing. Today is Sunday and I decided to do 10mg to get a little more experience. I felt noticeably more nauseous than the first time. I think because it was early in the morning instead of in the afternoon, I was not able to focus as intensely because I was a bit sleepy. The nausea discomfort was distracting. I hope trying again later in the day next time when I have more energy.
     

    I think i will need to find a time in the early afternoon maybe 2 Saturdays From now to try 13-15mg. It also seemed to help to have the date planned well in advance so my body and mind had time to prepare for it.

    --- another post oct 26, 2021

    I just wanted to make an update on some things that have seemed to change since taking 5MEO DMT this weekend.

    The first thing I noticed was that the sex with my girlfriend was really even better than usual. This happened before when I was meditating a lot. 

    The second thing today after rewatching Leo's video "Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God" I am much more aware of how my reality is being constructed over top of the present moment. There are infinite ways it can be constructed over what the perceptions are presently. During the drive to work today, I was just focused on the concepts that were coming up as they came up and how they were nowhere near the truth that was experienced right here. I still needed the concepts to know where to drive and when to accelerate or brake but I could see them as ultimately an illusion and makes me think that I can build a reality however I want over top of the raw sensations. Anyways. I will keep focused on this since it is very interesting to me and see what comes of this. 

    Trip 3 - Nov 7, 2021

    I plugged 15 mg of 5-MEO DMT as measured by my scale which was 2 of the 10-15 mg scoops. I wrote my experience here shortly after my trip but it seems there was a problem with the forum and my post was deleted. This was my 3rd trip ever.
     

    This time I had very little nausea which was a nice relief from the previous time. I believe this was due to lying down for the first 30-40 min. My body felt like it started to vibrate which I was getting used to from the first 2 trips. My sense of touch felt clear and very comfortable. At some points I felt like feeling up my body with my hands but most of the time I kept perfectly still. My vision seemed to blur out sharp edges but it still seemed like I was focused and seeing clearly. 
     

    I asked myself what this was (referring to the present experience). I realized I did not even know what it meant to know something. It is not as simple as someone telling me and then believing it. I need to use my own awareness and intelligence to understand. I asked myself what I wanted and I had a strong desire to understand myself. I really felt like I lacked understanding of my beliefs, motivations and values. My priorities seemed to shift to awareness of my thoughts and feelings and seeing patterns in my reactions. I think in this way I can make better decisions on what I want to do with my life and how to spend my time in a way that lets me appreciate, understand and construct the reality that I want.

    Trip 4 - Nov 20, 2021

    I plugged 3 scoops of 5-MEO DMT today which weighed around 20-21 mg total. It was a more intense experience this time. I felt it starting to kick in in less than 1 minute. I laid down semi prone for the first 5 min or so then went onto my back when I realized I the initial bit of nauseous feeling went away.

    I noticed that I was able to be very focused on sensations but it required me to give up my attention of other parts of my awareness. I could vaguely remember being human lying down but the details of my life were not present with me. That was not interesting to me. I was more focused on answering what I am, what I want. I noticed that it felt quite pleasant to lie down and enjoy the experience of existing. At some points, I could hear a loud noise like a generator that would slow down and speed up. When I focused it would slow down then when I switched my attention it would speed up. I looked at my hand for a bit and it looked like it was melting away . It sort of moved a bit like fire. I am not sure exactly how to describe it. It did not feel unpleasant though.

    I remember memories of advice from different people like Sadhguru came up saying something along the lines of if you put yourself fully into something then it will become a great thing. Other advice came up but I silenced it and decided I wanted to come up with my own understanding.

    Goal setting for me has usually been about material goals like make $10000 in one month in my business or "meditate everyday for 1 hour" but that might not be the best way to about living a good life. A good way to go about living a good life seems to be to figure out what I want to experience subjectively in the present moment and experiment on now to achieve that. At the same time, you will ideally fully accept the current moment as it is. Even accept the desire to change it. See the necessity for everything to be exactly as it is because it really is perfect from a big picture perspective. 

    Part of experiencing things the way I want that is being able to experience deeply and not be caught up in worrying or making plans constantly. I remember thinking part of what is great about reality is discovering things for the first time that you did not know. It is interesting to me to think about all experiences as being unique and that lessons can be learned constantly from them.

    I am not sure if I should take more 5-MEO DMT next time. I might take the same amount or half a scoop more and have a clearer plan on what I would like to contemplate about. 

    After 30-40 min of lying in my bed, I got up and took a shower. I contemplated what it meant for something to be true or real and what it meant to understand or know something compared to believing it. What would understanding how reality works mean in the present experience? 

    In 2 weeks I plan on taking 3 scoops. I will keep doing my best to keep meditating and contemplating these questions until then.

    Trip 5 - Dec 12

    I plugged 3 scoops yesterday so around 21mg freebase in 3ml of vinegar. I planned to just experience without any goals or trying to learn anything. It was nice experience. It took me into a state where I can focus on see hear feel and let everything else start to disappear. At one point I stood up and looked back at my bed. I was so focused on what I was looking at that I realized to could be in danger of falling over if I continued diving into my visual field. I sat on my bed and wondered what I can take away from this experience. It began to think about my priorities and that I should be prioritizing the health of my physical body and my mind higher than I am now. It seemed like it is much more important to maintain my body's health than I have been showing through my actions. I meditated for 1 hour before the trip and  30 min later on that day. The 30 min several hours after the trip I was able to get into a state very similar to when I was tripping. I did not follow my normal mindfulness or satisfaction meditation. I just sat there and surrendered to experience.

    I watched Leo's video today on heavy metal detox and I think this is a good idea for me to try. I will also be planning to continue daily self massage to try to heal my knee pain and meditation to improve my sensory clarity. I have been meditating an average of an hour per day for the last 2 weeks mostly doing mindfulness meditation with labeling and trying out the satisfaction meditation a bit.

    -----

    I have had knee pain in both knees for over a year now that hurts sometimes when I walk and can get so bad that I can not walk any more. It seems to be caused by tight IT Bands which is from tight muscles in my but and upper quads. I tried 2 months of physio exercises and stretches and it kept getting worse. Massaging 2 hours a day instead of the physio seemed to really help a lot. It has been difficult to spend 2 hours a day massaging though. I plan to start massaging an hour before work and an hour after every day to try to get this dealt with. 

  23. Posted

    I plugged 3 scoops yesterday so around 21mg freebase in 3ml of vinegar. I planned to just experience without any goals or trying to learn anything. It was nice experience. It took me into a state where I can focus on see hear feel and let everything else start to disappear. At one point I stood up and looked back at my bed. I was so focused on what I was looking at that I realized to could be in danger of falling over if I continued diving into my visual field. I sat on my bed and wondered what I can take away from this experience. It began to think about my priorities and that I should be prioritizing the health of my physical body and my mind higher than I am now. It seemed like it is much more important to maintain my body's health than I have been showing through my actions. I meditated for 1 hour before the trip and  30 min later on that day. The 30 min several hours after the trip I was able to get into a state very similar to when I was tripping. I did not follow my normal mindfulness or satisfaction meditation. I just sat there and surrendered to experience.

    I watched Leo's video today on heavy metal detox and I think this is a good idea for me to try. I will also be planning to continue daily self massage to try to heal my knee pain and meditation to improve my sensory clarity. I have been meditating an average of an hour per day for the last 2 weeks mostly doing mindfulness meditation with labeling and trying out the satisfaction meditation a bit.

  24. Posted

    I have thought for a while that I would like solitary confinement for maybe a month or so at a time rather than being in a normal prison cell. I am not sure how it would be unless I experienced it though. 

    I think for most people they really do need some human interaction to feel safe. Trying to suppress feelings of boredom, fear and loneliness and retreating into your imagination will make people crazy though understandably.

    I am pretty sure the light is on all the time so you can’t sleep well. It may also be too cold and uncomfortable with crappy food. These discomforts will eat away at you over time. 
     

    I am curious how I would experience it and how a monk would experience it.

  25. Posted

    @bliss54 Hey, thanks for reading and sharing that you appreciate me sharing my experience.

    It worked fine for me without a sitter. I explained in the previous posts how much I started with and how I took it.

    I have my own bathroom, bedroom and kitchen so I have a lot of privacy.  

    For me it really helped starting with a low dosage. Lying down helps a lot for not being nauseous.

    It seems like it is a bit hard to control my body and I really feel like staying still during most of the time and for part of it I want to squirm around so I start out semi prone sort of in the recovery position in the off chance that I throw up or something like that.

    The one time I tried to sit up fairly early on, I felt sick and it was distracting.

    This last trip I knew sort of what to expect and although the experience  was much more intense, the previous experience with the lower doses allowed me to feel safe. I think it could become very uncomfortable if you are afraid and struggling with what is going on.