Sincerity

The feeling of something distinctly "other" from you is alluring. The otherness, the mystery! In my experience, awareness of otherness of something creates a sexual feeling. I can feel sexual attraction towards Infinity when I focus on it. Or at least my vision of it.

It's a beautiful commitment, made out of love. When you meet the true love of your life, I think it's only natural to propose to her. The choice has to be conscious of course. If it is, I think making that choice is a sign of a mature and serious man. From an energetic standpoint, I think deciding to become married is quite a serious energetic shift in your psyche. Think about it: what energy in you is needed for you to get all the way to the day of marriage and beyond? It's quite a test of character. Many propose to a woman and then the relationship breaks up. It's a matter of what you want in life. For example, I really care about 1) the development of my character and 2) expression of love. My relationship with my partner is a truly amazing space for this growth. So I wanna get married, because this choice and the further journey will develop me greatly. I want the hardship of kids, the arguments, the compromises, the sex, the changes, and possibly the greatest loss of my life in the future. All that is certified growth babyyyyy, and I'm all for it. All planned out.

He might have „stolen” it from Rumi. Idk, I was just immediately hit with the thought that I read an identical explanation before. But if he came up with it himself, good for him. It’s an amazing understanding for sure. I think of it and I smile.

@trenton Hahaha. I think your ideas are quite good, if executed properly. Perhaps a picture of a teenager would be even better than a 10 year old. Other idea: maybe you can put a picture of yourself jumping in the air with joy with the caption along the lines of „The day I defeated my enemy”. This creates a aura of mystery around you - like what, this guy has an enemy? Your date asks you about it and you avoid answering, but imply with a subtle smile this is an awesome story which you’re keeping to yourself. I don’t know where this can go further, perhaps you NEVER tell her about it, or later make a joke out of it with something like: yeah my neighbour had this really annoying toddler so I kicked it in the face when they weren’t looking. She asks really? And you say „No”. And then you never tell her anything further. Or, under that same picture, you can just put the caption „The day my neighbour’s screaming toddler fell down the stairs.” I’m a factory of cretinic ideas. I recommend my services. That’s okay. You’ll learn it through trial and error. Maybe make a list of such captions/jokes, find what you deem the funniest, choose your best picks. Perhaps run it by ChatGPT to ask it whether the jokes are funny and „calibrated” enough (haven’t tested AI for this purpose, maybe it’s bland, I don’t know. just an idea).

I think it’s a bit dorky. That’s fine though, don’t judge yourself. For me, I love to express humour by being random, absurd and not giving a fuck. If I had a dating profile, I’d say eg.: „The last pic is me when I was 5 years old” and put this: You gotta find how you want to genuinely express your humour. But also in a way that works*. *It's not a matter of being funny to everyone, of course. You should authentically express your humour but also be calibrated in a way, and not dorky. For example, absurd humour will not be funny to everyone, but I LOVE it and many other people can appreciate is as well, so it's fine that I express it boldly. Those who will appreciate it will automatically resonate with me, which is perfect. By expressing yourself freely, you're like a beacon attracting people who will resonate with you.

I took LSD last weekend for the first time in 1,5 years. A standard 300ug with the intention to awaken as deeply as possible. I focused hard, though without pressure, sitting blindfolded, striving to be as open as possible. My entire identity was erased. I was completely self-defining, forgot literally everything including my name or what is happening, didn't know what anything is at all. I was conscious of God, of it being Me, but the thing is... for the life of me, I COULD NOT PUT A FINGER ON IT. The same thing happened last time I took it 1,5 years ago. Profound consciousness of God, but paradoxically knowing even less than outside of the psychedelic trip. After the trip I thought to myself: I was so conscious. If I couldn't get it in this state, with this much of a focus, I don't know if I ever can. Question, especially to @Leo Gura but other experienced folks as well. Can it be "gotten" better, or is it precisely the point that I don't get anything at all and I bask in seeing Reality, in Self-Definition, in utter Willpower, in being the Godhead itself? I feel like during profound trips 3-4 years ago my God-realizations were much more "defined". I am God, I am Truth, and all that. Nowadays I feel like I know less and I just experience the state. Insights don't arise as much. The consciousness is spectacular, but the finger is never really put on God. I'm wondering if it can be. I'm thinking how I can reach more profound levels. I want more. A deeper understanding of God. I'm thinking how to better direct my efforts and how I can improve.

That’s quite disrespectful to write to a parent. I’m not judging you though. Still impressive and a funny read, I hope they’d laugh it off with you in the future. Do you feel you respect your parents?

Both accounts were banned due to sufficient evidence of duplicate/fake profiles. Thanks everyone for reporting. For those who don't know: there's an option to "Report post" at the top of each post. We review all the reports, so not one ever goes unseen. We strive to always find sufficient evidence to avoid unfair bans and warnings. If there isn't immediate chaos and harm for the community, we can be more patient and keep an eye out. And that's what we usually do. Thanks for the feedback. I hear you, I try to give the soft warnings sometimes. But we try not to lock threads for no reason and assume they're trolling. The thread wasn't technically breaking the Forum Guidelines. So we try to find enough evidence of bad intention. You wouldn't want moderators to be careless or putting people in timeouts for things that don't strictly break the Guidelines and are not objectively low-quality. There would most likely arise much anger in the community - and probably rightfully so. It's a thin line to walk. It requires grace. This wasn't meant to be a soft warning to OP per se, more of an information for the community that we are aware of the situation, since some users brought it up. I want you to feel that we care, we're aware of the dynamics on the forum and we're handling things as best as we can. Nothing worse than a feeling of an "incompetent government".

Yeah. The right person in the right place/conditions can cause a lot of damage. Or a lot of good, for that matter. But the reason why that person is „right” to cause damage (or good) in a place is because it allowed them to do so. Moderation is a thin line to walk. I think there are definitely lessons to be learned from this entire case. Really, it’s SUCH an interesting case study, worth thinking about. It could literally be told as a bedtime story lol. I truly believe the forum should be more strict with what it tolerates - especially the utter bullshitters, those who are here to just fuck around or spout low quality replies, and those who propel drama. But every coin has two sides. Stricter moderation is, I guess, more authoritarian. And everyone has different views on what is noxious to the community. My views will not be aligned with others’. Basically the overall direction of moderation is only up to Leo - and that’s good, since it’s his platform. What’s also an interesting argument against the more authoritarian attitude - and this is not something Leo has said anywhere, but something I was thinking about - is whether a lower-quality user generating a lot of engagement is better than the user not being here. I realize this is complicated and that a lower-quality user can make the higher-quality ones go away, but on the other hand engagement is the pulse of the forum. So for example, take someone who posts a lot, they do have some wisdom and share it sometimes but 98% just fucks around - are they better for the life of the forum or no? Or an utter bullshitter who creates considerable traffic with the threads they create. Better if they are here or no? I think it’s a matter of assessing what choice leads to overall higher quality and engagement. Also, overall, deciding to what degree the quality in the forum should be prioritized over engagement. It might sound controversial and one could say „of course quality should be prioritized 10x more!!!!” but is that really ALWAYS the right choice? Tricky dynamics. What’s important to contemplate is what is best for the overall system. And to be clear: I’m NOT saying that Preety being here was good. I think she wasn’t. I’m saying that moderation is complex, and interesting.

FYI: We recognize the post/account feels suspicious. No evidence yet from our fake-account-checking tools though. The staff is keeping an eye out.

Such experiences always arise for me on their own, after very deeply focusing on what I am. Maybe I'll try to go for them more directly somehow, with asking different questions.

I had a very cool vision on that trip. Imagine a giant, rocky mountain, on top of which a huge, white, infinite Eye of God is stationed. The Eye is looking at everyone. It can be seen from the very bottom of the mountain. Each person sees the Eye as looking at exactly them. When you make eye contact with the Eye, your body starts climbing up the mountain. The more you climb the mountain, the more you feel the intensity of God's Eye staring at you. It makes you want to break eye contact. However, when you do break eye contact, your body gives up on going up the mountain and it starts backtracking. You only go up the mountain if you keep eye contact with the Eye, otherwise you're going away from it. The point is to withstand the intensity of the Eye. To go so far, the intensity is almost unbearable. You CRAVE to break eye contact. But you truly WANT God, so you're going up. Only a true hero reaches the top.

Yes, I'm 100% not done with that. Okay sure. I was just trying to follow the set terminology. Okay cool. Yeah, on Saturday I could see that the entire Consciousness/Experience bubble was God (Me), the notebook I was putting in front of my eyes was Me, that it was being Willed/Dreamt into existence by Me, I did see my body as God's form (a very weird feeling, seeing my body as if being/belonging to some kind of DMT entity). I could see that I was INSTANTLY willing any actions and then the actions were being manifested, which was also a funny realization. For example, I instantly saw my will to write something down, then the action of writing proceeded, but I was so high level that my actual writing was very all over the place. I could barely write or walk but I saw the will to do these things immediately. I guess maybe these are examples of going up.

@Someone here 🤦‍♂️ Go input our responses into an AI and see who it tells you is insecure. I just did. Had a laugh. "In the two forum responses, the insecure words and tone are more evident in the second response. Here's a breakdown: Response One: Tone: Direct and critical, but generally focused on providing advice. Content: The speaker is advising the other person to focus on their real life and gain experience before delving into spiritual or intellectual pursuits. Insecurity: There is a level of condescension and judgment, but it is framed as advice. The speaker comes across as confident in their perspective. Response Two: Tone: Defensive and aggressive, with a mix of boasting and dismissiveness. Content: The speaker feels the need to defend their lifestyle and achievements, listing numerous personal accomplishments and dismissing the relevance of the conversation. Insecurity: The boasting about personal achievements (e.g., reading three books a day, doing 1000 push-ups, giving charity) and the dismissive attitude towards discussing personal life suggest insecurity. The speaker feels the need to prove their worth and deflect criticism, which is a common sign of insecurity. Conclusion: The second response exhibits more insecure language and behavior. The need to list personal achievements and dismiss the conversation as irrelevant indicates a defensive stance, which is often a sign of insecurity."

Thanks for all your input here. Something clicked in me while reading it. I remember in one of your episodes, I can't remember which, you made the distinction between going "up" in awakening vs "down". I realize you're making that same distinction here - going for God vs Nothingness, in your terminology here. You're saying that the Nothingness is not graspable, while God (supposedly) is. Correct me if I interpreted anything wrong here. I realize I've been going about awakening by always focusing on what I am, thereby going "down". I'm contemplating how I can change my approach to focus on going "up". What questions to best ask myself for that. This would be a significant change in course for me.

Ignoring words of reason won't help you. Stop pretending, especially in front of yourself. You are nowhere close to "awake" and you don't need to be. It's okay. Work on your actual life. Don't put the cart in front of the horse. Build a solid foundation. Get life experience. Find how you want to work. This is groundwork which is very good for future spiritual development if you ever really care about it. You're not ready for any kind of "enlightenment" yet, stop repeating things you've heard, stop pretending you have it figured out. You talk about not-knowing as if it's some pinacle of attainment. That's cool, but again, go work on your real life instead of all this intellectualizing. Trust me, your words ARE hollow. You ARE much better off just giving up this charade. This would be so much more respectable.

@Someone here Very bold words. Still, ringing hollow. I don't doubt you've faced dark times. You'd be much better off focusing on your actual life and not all this spiritual mental masturbation. It would most likely help you feel better. I guess the answer to the job question is no.

You should have a tangible life purpose besides spiritual pursuits. You should have experience of life, master survival to a degree. Please confirm: did you ever work a job or no? Instead of playing video games and masturbating, you are mentally masturbating all day. Neat. You're not getting anywhere with it. Your words ring hollow and it's very obvious. When will you end this embarassment? Like, come on dude. Seriously. At least stop pretending you're much more developed than you really are, especially in front of yourself. The bs you spin is really cringe.

Arrogant as always, huh. You haven't seen God. Your communication might fool some, but not those who have the slightest clue. Humble yourself a bit, you ain't even close to "awake", for now you only have ideas. Believe me, it is utterly obvious. Better work on your personal life more instead of all this bs, from what I remember you haven't even had a job yet (correct me if I'm wrong though). You're really tiresome with all that bullshit you spin.

Moving to the journal section, since this thread is basically a journal.

Got it. Thanks for the responses! I will reconsider my efforts to be wiser. Still, with the understanding that I’m missing things - I do feel I am, indeed. I might need to change my approach somehow.

Also: is it your view that at a point one should give up trying to put the finger then, once it’s realized that it is futile? And redirect efforts to other aspects of awakening like the why, the how, etc?

🙇‍♂️

Got it. So when you talk about being Awake, that doesn’t mean having the finger put on God. More like seeing EVERYTHING as God to insane degrees, but with the Mystery still intact. Right?

Relationship work with my gf. Find what you really want or love. And commit to it. It will require you to change, to face yourself, in order to satisfy that thing better. If you want/love it enough, you will answer the call. In my view, the "real work" is through LIFE, instead of some technique. Whatever you're most passionate about. I'm really passionate about growth in my relationship and overall as a man/being. This gives me a lot of energy to put in the effort, which results in change. Profound change, a lot of it. I'm a radically different man than I was just 1,5 years ago.