Sincerity

Here's what I advise you. Disregard the veganism/animals for a moment. Think about what you live for in general. What do you currently want to develop in life the most? What energy/trait/value? What do you wish to become the most? This profound, general inner reason could be the answer to your veganism motivation, and other things as well. Random examples: "My recent struggles and experiences in general have been requiring from me that I develop FOCUS in life. I want to be FOCUSED. How can I use this reason towards veganism? Well, since I really care about the animals, I want to be FOCUSED on what I care about most and thus I WILL stick to my vegan diet. I'll do it for FOCUS. I'll do it for ME, because I want it the most in life right now." "I really want to develop WISDOM in life right now. I want to be WISE. That's what life has been leading me to. How can I use this reason towards veganism? Hmm... well, I really care about the animals and I realize it is wise to follow my heart and my truth in spite of intrusive thoughts and cravings. I want to be WISE and thus I WILL stick to my vegan diet, because this is respecting myself and otherwise I will feel shit about myself in life, and I know that's not worth it. I'll do it for WISDOM. I'll do it for ME, because I want it the most in life right now." I deliberately tried to come up with traits that don't necessarily have anything to do with veganism on the surface. But here's the crucial insight: when you have a profound inner reason for being, you can rationalize pretty much ANY action with it. You just have to convince yourself towards using a certain energy for a certain thing. You literally have to carve a path in your mind - from an energy pool to a desired behaviour/action! And you CAN convince yourself of anything. This is very profound. In short, focus on what YOU want about YOURSELF the most and then go from there. USE THE ENERGY WHERE IT'S PRESENT! Do with this advice what you will. Might click with you, might not. This is my wisdom. Good luck.

Then find what you feel you do want to develop in you. Find personal reasons. Or fight an uphill battle forever with external motivations. What I said about love was an example.

It is technically "for yourself", but it is less appealing than doing it for literally yourself. There is a difference between "I love animals" and "I love developing my love which is the core of me. I fucking lust after that sweet energy and growth. God, please help me change so that I can be more of myself." "I love animals" seems harder to focus on. You probably have to visualize animals being killed to motivate yourself or something. Whereas with the focus on your love, you focus on something more positive and deeply personal.

"I love animals" is quite a weak motivation, in my view. I find that the best reasons to change are for YOURSELF. Don't do it for the animals, do it for you. Meaning: you can do it for love, if that is a persistent core energy in you, but that doesn't equate doing it "for the animals". You can do it for developing YOUR love, the love in YOU. Get what I mean? "For the animals" is an external motivation. I find the strongest motivations are internal, not depending on external circumstances. You want to build up traits in you that do not depend on anything out there and you can just bask in whenever you want. Do it for YOUR intent to be loving, good, disciplined, focused, healthy, etc... Whatever YOU care about developing about YOU.

Stop and ground yourself. Do normal things. Do something fun. Deconstruction is not all there is to life, and doing it too soon can be harmful.

Of course you don't have to overcome EVERY one, and you won't. Should have mentioned this in my original post. You will feel callings to let go of certain facilitations at some points in life though and when these callings come, it's best to act on them because they are callings for the growth of your character/energetic system. The facilitations are often very addictive and hard to let go of though, and it's easier to convince yourself that the callings are just irrational, crazy thought and should be discarded.

Yeah that's kind of true. But also in a sense you have more freedom to focus on your purpose when other things are taken care of for you. Facilitations are there because one isn't ready yet to transcend them. So it doesn't necessarily mean that one is "a slave". These "restrictions" are basically self-created.

I'd certainly not go into any "spiritual career" anytime soon. Yeah, facilitations.

I'll 100% be proud of this decision on my deathbed. And I'll make more like these I'm sure. I want a life that's lived, and not just be a slave of comfort and patterns. I want my skill and the truth of me to be a signal to the world. I'll build up my portfolio. Fuck these companies. Thanks for the comment though!

A facilitation is basically when responsibility for something is outsourced for you so you don't have to care about it. Society is one enormous facilitation self-created by its members for everyone involved. The responsibility of being a doctor, lawyer, politician, farmer, guy sweeping the street is outsourced for us. But the even bigger facilitation (within facilitation, within facilitation...) is the mind and all of its structures and illusions/deceptions - which are THE facilitations! When you're under an illusion, the "other side of the illusion" is outside your conscious responsibility and so you can live your life without giving the slighest shit about it. And then reality itself.

I think "visible reality" is the ultimate facilitation. A facilitation designed to help you see energy/spirit clearly, starkly, manifested; to help guide you to independence of mind. I think no facilitations would be what we call death, or God.

Thanks! For now still working my corporate job, and in the meanwhile focusing on building up a new self-willed creator/worker/doer energy (which I feel is arising in me with time) which will be my new engine for the next years/decades. Trying new things, new creative projects, looking for a niche which would suit me for now.

What kind of news/info are you consuming? List any sources perhaps?

You hide things from yourself all the time. And when you do, you're unawake to them. Even though they're technically "there".

@PurpleTree And yet, you still suffer. And the path is waiting to be walked. Goodnight from Europe.

In practice there is. Is there emotional turmoil in your life? Difficulty? Suffering? Et cetera? If so, then exactly THAT is the path in front of you, plain as day, pretty real if you ask me. Not walked by you yet, until it is.

The meaning is the inner journey you go through.

Don't know what you mean. Lol. Peterson is right. Dragons are real. And so is Santa Claus.

@PurpleTree Stay open to symbology and the reality of "mind stuff".

@PurpleTree It wasn't a fjallraven. I live in the city. I only listed 3 examples, there were countless others of foxes in the most unexpected places on shopwindows, walls, etc. - and it was always when I felt an intuitive hunch to go a certain way even when there wasn't much point to it. Besides, the most important aspect of the quest was the visions and development of the plot (and my character) along the way. You believe what you want.

This must be part of Leo's path. There's probably some archetype/energy being born in him, represented by a crocodile. Focus on yourself. YOU don't have to give a shit about crocodiles. It's none of your business. In the last year I had a 8 month long arc around the fox. I constantly had visions about the fox with a full-on plot to them (which I was taking active part in) which was finally resolved in late July for me. Now I don't have the visions anymore. I was also being led to foxes all the time in reality, when on autopilot - God damn fox street, fox graffiti on the building wall, fox on a woman's backpack, etc... and seeing real foxes in my neighbourhood three times in that period, for the first time in 8 years of me living where I lived. Previously I also had a "quest" with the snake. And my gf is on a quest right now with the spider. These quests are, in my experience, very important to your growth as an energetic being. It's a journey. And something new is born/discovered along the way. So again, focus on YOURSELF. Or, in other words... don't be a parrot.

Burn, burn my life! Hahahahaha! Oh Kali, my beloved.

Introduction I want to share my current understanding of mind, the dynamics of it and what I am in relation to it. Your comments (educated & relating to the topic) would be greatly appreciated. Context I have not taken psychedelics for a year now. My understanding has changed a lot in this year and it has been born from observing and interacting with myself. I haven't really heard people talk about this understanding I will lay out here. I haven't been watching or reading any spiritual teachings or anything of that kind lately (they disgust me). The Understanding In my mind there is an interplay of forces/energies/selves. A full, inner universe with each force/energy/self being separate and unique. This universe cannot be called a society or hivemind (terms I contemplated) because they are not cohesive, they don't work in unison, they just ARE. These energies are mostly very primal and non-complex, representing mostly single sides/characteristics of what you could perhaps call the inner symbolic/archetypal universe. There's (probably) an infinity of them. They cannot be killed, all of them are alive always, but some are significantly more active at times while others are more asleep. Every thought is a work of some energy. In fact my claim is you could have a vision of an energy behind ANY thought. Or perhaps this is unique to me and I'm more visionary than others, I dunno - but I can take any thought and visually see an "entity" behind it of some sort. Some of them are dark and devilish, some are more angelic, some are relatively normal. This is not just a theory, I can replicate this almost always in my mind. Or, if you're not particularly visionary, if you want to get a sense of them you can pick a particular energy and intent to have a dialogue with them audibly in the mind (which I very often do). You will sense their distinctness, otherness, their boundaries, ego. What happens in this inner universe dictates what you do in reality. Behind every action is an energy. And the energy that is currently strongest is what entirely dominates the current moment. Two energies cannot dominate the now at the same time. The winner energy takes it all - in the moment. Anything you're currently doing - YOU did NOT "choose" that. An energy arose that felt an attraction to do what you're doing. You perhaps hesitated for a while (a resisting energy of some sort was stronger) or not (you are open to this energy and it can take you over almost whenever) and once this energy took you, you did and are now doing what you're doing (reading this). YOU DO NOT CHOOSE ACTIONS. You are open to energies or resist them. And you certainly do NOT choose energies. Even a "choice" to choose some other energy would be an energy itself. And also a resistance to an energy would be an arising energy itself. Any thought/choice/action is ALWAYS an energy and you basically have no power over them, you can't change them. So basically we're helpless victims, right? We just can't do shit, we are doomed and life sucks, correct? No. See, this is where it gets a bit weird and paradoxical, at least for me. If you believe you have no power (which is kinda true), you will be overtaken with energies of helplessness, victimhood and that's what you will become in life. BUT if you believe you DO have power you will be more engaged with energies of personal responsibility, taking action, better self-esteem, all that good stuff. So in a sense if you believe you do have power it becomes true. And if you believe you don't - that becomes true. So actually it doesn't matter what you believe and there is no "objective" truth about you. Or, thinking about this a bit differently, what you believe BECOMES the objective truth about you. Belief could be described as an unconscious blockage/partial openness to some energy. Once you see the unconsciousness/unwholeness of an openness (see that it actually doesn't matter and you could believe the opposite and IT WOULD BE JUST AS TRUE), it disappears and that energy doesn't overtake you anymore. See, in order for an energy to overtake you, you have to believe in it! Or, differently: you have to be unconsciously clinging to one part and reject the opposite. ALL BELIEF IS PARTIAL. ALL BELIEF IS UNCONSCIOUS. And once the belief becomes conscious/you accept its second just-as-true side, it is not a belief anymore. Unconsciousness ceases to be with consciousness. An avenue/blockage for an energy is closed. So this is why you get raped by energies of helplessness, unworthiness, negativity, idiotic pride, fear, shame, all that stuff. Your beliefs are shit. And these shit beliefs let in shit energies. You are unconscious of it. But it doesn't have to be this way. How to fix beliefs and stop being susceptible to unwanted energies? It's quite simple actually. You just have to convince yourself otherwise, or rather: see fully the other side of the argument. You might remember I mentioned having a dialogue with energies before. This is an excellent way to reconcile "your" side (some energy) and the other side (some other energy) that IS inside of you, but you just haven't been letting in. Here's what I usually do: I sit with a notebook and write at the top: I AM LISTENING. Then very quickly some thoughts arise that would just LOVE to be questioned, to be killed, given attention. And so I talk to myself for an hour or two. At the beginning I ask the energy for its name and I ask to see it (that's not necessary though). Almost always these conversations reconcile something in me and my behaviour in actual reality CHANGES, because my beliefs have been changed. The energies have reconciled, or perhaps you could say they disappeared when they merged with their opposites. So what is mind? I guess I could describe it as an inner universe. The mind is not a place for these energies, the mind IS these energies - once it becomes them. The mind is all of them combined and could be seen as an entity. What this entity does in the end is the result of what energy was strongest in the given moment. What this entity does is what others consider "you" doing. But then... what is "you"? In a sense you are the god of this inner universe. You can observe it. You are the attention from above, crazily intertwined with this full inner universe. You can see it as "you", yet know that you're not of it! In a weird way, it feels like you can intervene in that inner universe's outcome at times. The main technique for this would be prayer. But how does the action of prayer come about? It must be some energy which you don't control begging to come through. So you and this universe are this one intertwined organism. With no agency, yet also with all the agency. Influenceable, yet impossible to be directly influenced. Changing, yet unchangeable. Whole, yet expanding. Conclusion & Ending Words My understanding is obviously very incomplete. I don't understand reality. I don't know what's in front of me. I am not really self-aware. But that will come I'm sure. One day, one conversation, one attentive glance at a time... just wanted to share this out. I have this funny thought: in the same way there's a universe in me and I'm sort of above it (yet it), what if I am also a single energy part of another infinite universe with a supreme god observing that universe. I wonder, would that god even be aware of me, or would they be unconscious of me in the same way I am so unconscious of energies in me? Curious to think about haha. I'm very happy to hear your related & educated feedback/comments. But if you don't have anything valuable to comment and you want to just be a bullshitter/clown/know-it-all mental masturbator, please spare me, I don't want to hear from you. I will delete your useless posts. Thanks in advance.

Please observe the provocative/hostile energy you're bringing to your posts which worsens the atmosphere on the forum. There's no need for that. Too much of it will be met with warning points, especially if directed towards specific people/groups.

@MrTruf Namecalling is strictly not allowed on this forum ("typical weasel"). Please keep that in mind.