Saarah
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Everything posted by Saarah
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@Durka_Durka Well all the inadequacy feeling could be because you're comparing yourself now to who you strive to be and the expectation is causing you to judge yourself right now the paradox of personal development is you have to love yourself as you are right now, no changes, but at the same time strive for improvement maybe your problem is you're only focused on improvement but not acceptance of yourself as you are right now, so check out Leo's videos on self acceptance to start working on that Now I don't think you need this, but because you mentioned it, I can't resist.... *slap*
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@Venus Also try journaling or something, maybe a gratitude journal or whatever thing you want improvement in
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@Raquel Just noticing the judgement is enough, you don't have to even try to not judge, being aware is a giant step in itself. Especially since most people don't realise they judge people or things a lot of the time. I get inspired when I listen to Alan Watts saying we are all just like the different elements in nature, just like your tree analogy, it tells us that whatever a person or thing is like, we don't have to come up with stories to justify their ways, we just have to be aware that they're a product of reality and 'so and so' thing is the way that it is because that's reality. Your only job is to do nothing about it and need nothing from it. Just accept it.
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@Angry No More ah yes, I like this message a lot! I can relate, I look back at some of my worst days and i see I'd been placing too much importance on something ultimately meaningless but every time I have problems in the moment I forget this and invest my emotions and monkey mind thoughts into it which isn't necessary, just solve your problems if you need to from a detached perspective otherwise let go!
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@Angry No More I guess not, why do you say it has no importance?
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@Vishal Yes! And whenever someone is rude to you, make it impersonal. They're acting from their own place, wherever they are psychologically, emotionally etc. and you can cultivate your own inner worth to act from that rather than let other external sources dictate your inner world. We don't need to judge other people based on the place they're in, if they're disrespectful that just happens to be the way they are. And it's perfectly acceptable for them to be that way As long as we have our egos we have to think about this self-worth stuff
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@Angry No More which stuff, the actualization or his personal problems?
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@Mal Wow, thanks for sharing your personal story, the idea of unconditional acceptance just reminded me of the needy vs non-needy perception video and how looking at things without imposing our own agenda and without only focusing on our single relationship to that object or being can help us see and accept things for what they are, I can see that's what you were doing with your mentor too. I'll have to think about your question every time I interact with someone and see what I notice! @FindingPeace I see what you mean, your three scenarios are great because it reminded me of what Stephen Covey says in his book, he mentions 7 scenarios I think that are about being effective in interacting with other people, but you've touched on three which are basically - win/win - you benefit and they benefit - no deal - nobody benefits or loses - win/lose - one person gets something at the expense of the other I see he's actually touching on this selfishness issue here even though he doesn't say so explicitly, he also says win/win is always possible and if for some reason it isn't, no deal is best, which is what you also said!
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Having someone on your mind a lot can elicit a whole other level of emotions and thoughts compared to something like being addicted to work etc. Im struggling with this at the moment, and I want to be able to tackle it once and for all. Often when someone quite influential to me enters my mind I can get swept away and it's quite draining Although I feel happy etc. it feels like I'm not addressing a certain emotion inside me that isn't blatantly obvious to me, but I do believe it has come about as a result of thinking about this person. I don't think about this person all the time or necessarily very directly, but it's just a subtle creeping in kind of thing. I don't even know if it's the person or just certain ideas or thoughts about other things in life that this person reminds me of Is time really the only thing that will heal? Should I be more mindful, will that by itself work?
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@Andre @FindingPeace @charlie2dogs Thanks guys! Yeah, I sometimes get fixated on a particular thought or series of thoughts and emotions and sometimes I get stopped in my tracks but I stopped serving my thoughts tea and now they're leaving through the back door lol!
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@Mal hmm, I don't know just the reality of the action itself, the occurrence of it, just what you see but not interpret I have my thoughts about the action, but then there's the action itself separate from my thoughts about its assigned intention or meaning
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Saarah replied to Ayla's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@abrakamowse yeah I actually saw the faces first but I was thinking since the ego is like this one entity or idea that should be the ornament and then enlightenment is when you see the whole picture which is the faces that are more far out -
@aurum yeah, I remember I was so involved in my own stuff then suddenly this person started occupying my thoughts and I let myself feed that Ive had to stop being involved in that which doesn't concern me and isn't my business and now I'm back into my own again!
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@MartineF I feel like I can trick myself into thinking I'm aware of it properly by mistaking the map for the territory, thinking too much about it cognitively and not getting it in real time
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@Mal yeah definitely need to avoid that trap! I was actually attempting to embrace my selfishness and that prompted me to think about this selfish vs. selflessness and it led me to the idea that all action is both and neither at the same time But I wonder if I'm using that as a way to not hurt my ego for the fact that it's so selfish and I'm trying to justify my selfish actions by saying ultimately they're selfless so it's ok, but then I still feel there's some truth and reality to the idea that all life serves life and is both selfish and selfless and then neither, then it's just the reality of the action
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Saarah replied to Ayla's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@Ayla it's probably the same thing :-) for now we're all stuck on only seeing the ornament, once we gain a more whole bigger picture experience we'll see the two faces and then have both perspectives in our grasp I like this coaching style of thread that questions you to make you come up with your own answers so you can become aware of why you think certain things as opposed to simply taking in information -
@Magnifico it's about their self-image of themselves, trying to impress each other with the shiny idea of having your whole life together. Being an adult and having adult things is seen as suddenly having a more important, well put together life and so it feels good for the ego. Then people wonder why they have mid-life crises and it's because they unconsciously followed the norms without asking themselves if what they were doing was important or fulfilling. Only soon it starts to catch up with them. A lot of adults are not really very mature at all
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@PeakPerformance usually when you have a strange experience during meditation it's a sign that it's working in developing your concentration and awareness but then again you also sound like you're being possessed
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@zasa joey Nice message The scariest thing about it is that we give too much of a shit about certain things so we end up not living to our fullest we can't be those people!
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Saarah replied to NERDSTEAK's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@NERDSTEAK honestly I think it's the other way round, that most people on this forum probably agree with you Its definitely made up, the past and future don't exist at any moment, they're always the present moment and there's only the now -
She's got guts to be going round the Internet posting that kind of thing
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Sometimes it's difficult to find the strength from within, but remember we are just plasters (sorry if that insults any of you guys you plasters) For now just go party with all your newfound goodness! Mission accomplished
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Saarah replied to abrakamowse's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@abrakamowse what if because the thoughts are real, and the thoughts about there being a thinker are therefore real and we really are all living the reality of that deluded thought, then the thinker is real in that sense if I was trying to be a tricky person lol but yeah objectively it makes sense -
@Mary I feel brain dead when I watch tv these days it seems to not go anywhere or do anything that is meaningful at all, even though I have other addictions tv is one I've checked off my list i don't strictly say to myself I'm not watching tv anymore, it's just that when you pursue more interesting and meaningful things like reading about personal development etc. then you see the meaninglessness in tv the thing with tv is you watch one episode of something and then you want to go back for the next, if you cut the cycle by doing something of more interest then you have no reason to go back cos you've already missed episodes of whatever and you don't feel the need to catch up anymore, tv is all about being up to date and all caught up my advice would be to not stop yourself from watching tv, finish your episodes, if it doesn't finish just see the boringness and pointlessness, only when you stop desiring it any more through pursuing more meaningful and productive things and more awareness of the pointlessness of tv will you no longer desire to go back I think you are forcing it with a 'should', that you should not watch tv, and that will make it difficult for you to keep away, so it's fine to watch tv and when you have developed a natural inclination to stop then stop
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@jes there may be another twist to it, what if you can 'be' in the middle of doing when people say you can meditate while doing some activity, even though advanced, it's that balance of doing both at the same time!