Toby

There are also different forms of trauma treatment that work with stuff like the overload or ability to connect with people and so on.

I liked Adyashantis resurrecting Jesus audio, Leonard Jacobson liberating Jesus dvd, Bernadette Roberts stuff on Jesus.

In Stephen Porges books about the polyvagal theory there are some things relating to it and how it even can be healed.

What comes to my mind is that one which features 30 teachers that tell their "waking up" story: https://www.soundstrue.com/products/waking-up . Other than that I like Irina Tweedie's book "daughter of fire"; it's a diary where she describes the whole process that happened to her. It's as real as it gets because it leaves nothing out.

@Preety_India I'd rather call it confused. Of course it breaks my heart seeing guys listening to gangster rap, watching porn, doing pickup and what not... not healthy role models. Of course. But for most it is just a phase and an unhealthy expression of their stage of development. And as always... one has to consider a man's (Enneagram) type in the development happens. For example an unhealthy sexual Enneagram 8 is probably a prototype of what feminists might call "toxic". But is an unhealthy Enneagram 5 who withdraws or an unhealthy 9 who is a doormat not also "toxic"? No.... of course no one gives a shit about them. Only the ones a bit too aggressive are labeled toxic.

I remember the time when I worked with kids from age 3 to 10. Because of that I find it ridiculous seeing being male or female as toxic. For me it's not toxic. Yes, I see patterns of confusion. A lot. And it shows up differently in men than in women - I agree. But shaming confused behaviour doesn't help very much. For example I see Elliot Hulse as very confused, probably traumatized expression - but he as a human being is not toxic. Also in Pickup... a lot of very confused dudes.... but toxic... I wouldn't use that word.

@Preety_India but why call it "toxic masculinity" implying there is a link between the two? I know certain traits that are confused happening in men (and women). Not denying that. And you also have to consider that the structure in India is very different from western Europe. For example I've never seen a female construction worker once in Europe but plenty in India.

There is no thing as toxic masculinity. It's an invention to shame men. Serves no other purpose. Or did you ever hear of toxic femininity?

To me "shadow work" is about integrating the human side. Ways to "do" this are the Enneagram, trauma therapy like somatic-experiencing or narm, processes like the work from byron Katie.

Things I found to be helpful in the past: - Yoga for my Ayurveda type (Vata) - good book by david frawley out there - Feldenkrais - doing Somatic Experiencing - educate myself about trauma - Trauma release exercises - "Wheel of Awareness" by Daniel Siegel - not doing breathwork, not too much meditation or mindfulness or yoga or "energy work"

What kind of professional therapist does sessions for free? Seems very weird. Although, yes... sometimes people stop therapy because of some stuff coming up and would be better to continue. But if he is not doing his behavior to slow you down or looking away because he notices too much attention is disregulating for you... his approach / behavior / personality is not ideal for you.

There are all kinds of skills. Just really a matter of focus and interest. Not that "special". You yourself could easily tune into feeling or seeing how someone is doing and send some energy or what not. I am curious: how much are you paying for it?

Yes. Plenty examples of highly conscious narcissistic - at least in some life areas - people.

sounds textbook cold reading. Sorry had to laugh a bit while reading because it sounded so generic. Not to say she has no skills that are useful to you.

If you are traumatized in any way meditation can not only not work but have negative side effects: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393709787/ .

@Seed I don't think that EFT or kinesiology are "bad". Rather the opposite; they are quite often too direct, too "powerful" and lack "calibration". That's why unconsciously they do not touch deeper layers when they are not used within the "window of tolerance" (http://www.somatictraumatherapy.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/ANS2.jpg). That is the main thing in any legit trauma therapy that the therapist has to keep you in the window of tolerance and widen that window (meaning the capacity to stay present with more and more situations, sensations, emotions, thoughts...). Only you can judge if that is what's happening or if you are being retraumatized.

EFT and kinesiology is not that effective with trauma in my experience. Doesn't do anything or retraumatize quite often. (I learned EFT in 2005 and used it very often for some years. Kinesiology I used a lot especially from 2006-2007. So I know the limits of it. It's not that good and effective for trauma.)

I would specifically go to a therapist who is doing somatic experiencing, narm or the likes. There the chances of getting help and not being abused with gaslighting concepts like "you are projecting" is better I would say.

There are a lot of therapists - I would say the overwhelming majority - who are nuts. Don't take it personal. It has nothing to do with you. Look for another therapist if you don't resonate with that one or his approach.

Enjoyed watching it very much.

@Michael569 assuming I'm on keto, what oils should I use in your opinion? Edit: and is Ghee also "bad"?

Didn't the CIA use their techniques to create ACIM (A course in miracles)?

It is also always good to know a teachers Enneatype and Subtype. For Trungpa Rinpoche it's the sexual 8, so his unconscious patterns are quite different than from e.g. Eckhart Tolle (selfpreservation 5).

Of course. It's a spiritual classic.

What kind of technique are you using?