Fernanda

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Everything posted by Fernanda

  1. @michaelcycle00 very interesting. Things like that happened in my experience too. I'm very curious about how you did that. How did you use imagination to manifest this woman falling in love with you? Are you conscious of how it happened in detail? I love learning about this subject.
  2. I am definitely open to this possibility It's a fact we get to unblock it at times, so the road seems to be open within consciousness.
  3. @Matthew85 interesting. Although we are not aware of all our creations, we can love them and make them real, thus becoming more Self aware. The irony is that we can really "FALL" for some parts of ourselves, making us really feel the aliveness of reality it happened with Deckard, which was a threat to his survival as a cop. Love always threatens survival in a way.
  4. @RMQualtrough nice post. We seem to have this inherent tendency to create a story in our minds to give our life a sense of cohesiveness, continuity. It is an important part of the dream. We believe in this continuity. If, for instance, I see a dog being beaten I develop a feeling around that event and some hours later I can remember that scene and cry. Can memory be considered a figment of imagination? If I close my eyes and remember is that real? is thought a figment? If I am boiling an egg and I remember the egg is done, and I go eat it, there is this sense of continuity, otherwise I wouldn't eat the egg. Memory certainly melts away, but we seem to resist it somehow for reasons of survival. It's even more complicated when we store emotions because they are mostly unconscious. The better we become in manifestation, the less need we have for the apparent logic sustained by memory within the dream, so we can die and be reborn in every moment. Crazy stuff.
  5. It seems to be somewhat a consensus in self-development comunities that our BELIEFS limit our mind-reality. I was thinking about what is actually a belief and decided to take a look at the origin of the word: from Proto-Germanic *ga-laubjan "to believe," perhaps literally "hold dear (or valuable, or satisfactory), to love" (source also of Old Saxon gilobian "believe," Dutch geloven, Old High German gilouben, German glauben), ultimately a compound based on PIE root *leubh- "to care, desire, love" (see belief). So, to believe is a way of caring, a way of loving. To break the chains of beliefs and to experience reality in a conscious way, then, I guess we need to not care as much about what seems so important and love all of reality with the same intensity. It implies caring and also not caring, letting everything fall into nothingness, get unattached by the events that are leading to a certain direction. A limiting belief is a biased way of experiencing reality, I guess. A veil that prevents us from experiencing a broader sense of love-truth-reality. What do you think?
  6. Thanks? @Matthew85 Right! So, our beliefs and assumptions are rendering reality in a way, right? The challenge is to be conscious of them.
  7. @Federico del pueblo exactly. I could believe I am Brazilian or I could feel that I am not even human. I do think each and every belief can be questioned, since infinity is the ultimate truth. I tantra philosophy the invitation is to have better serving beliefs, since we do have to experience illusion in a sense, otherwise, like Leo said we would fall under the floor. @gettoeflI see. True knowledge, true seeking, empowers us to face the fears that sustain our beliefs. Not getting involved is the key. Very cool stuff. Thank you guys, a lot, a lot.
  8. @Batman if the ultimate truth is that we are infinity, in theory, we could experience anything we will. The only thing preventing us to experience something is our beliefs. One of the hardest endevours in this journey of self development is to be conscious of those beliefs, because they show in desguise. In the example you gave about relationships...I could not know consciously that I believe that I am incapable of a relationship with a significant other, but let's say that's the truth because I keep getting the same results in life.
  9. @Gesundheit2 perfect. So, in order to change a belief we have to see the implicit duality and the results it generates, I guess?
  10. @Razard86 you delivered one of the most genuine sharings of this forum so far. I feel every word you've written. Thank you.
  11. The only reason you did not get what you want is because you did not really want it. We just have to be conscious of that from moment to moment. @JuliusCaesar very interesting story of becoming a "character" and changing your body at will. I got curious about the details of that. I've also experienced a visible transfiguration in my physical appearance
  12. I think once you accept it the way it is, you definitely can do do it (or not), as God, right now. Try to read some work from Saint Germain, maybe it will open your mind to this possibility.
  13. Don't surrender your grief so quickly. Let it cut you more deep. Let it ferment and season you as few humans and even divine ingredients can. Something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender, my need for God absolutely clear. -Hafiz
  14. @zazen That's a huge problem. The majority of both men and and women seem to be living in the past somehow, even casual sex and dating seems empty somehow, it lacks "presence', as you said. My friends talk about past relationships endlessly, cultivating what is not and I find it so weird. I mean...I can have a great night without comparing experiences. I can keep having a good time without labeling anything, but it's not common for most people. As you said... "comparison is the thief of joy". May I ask you what would be the after effect on your POV? Have you gone through this situation? Just wish to understand it better. Than you. Great insights you left here.
  15. @Kalki Avatar Yes. It can be messy. Sometimes I feel like a troublemaker rs. It's like...you turning on light and sound in the middle of the night in a room full of people deep asleep, you can’t help it. You will get a reaction there hehe. I'm in the process of integrating and accepting this self love and learning to wear my masks again. Two solitudes is such a rare thing. In general, people have an agenda, you know? But it is great when it happens. Top level kind of love.
  16. I had an experience that I can't make sense of. I'm going to share something personal, I'm really confused. You will understand my question in the end. I met this guy on the Internet and we had sex multiple times and we used to chat everyday. I really liked him, although I sensed he was emotionally distant. But we talked for hours. After the third date (the third time we had sex) he said we should be friends because he wasn't attracted to me enough to keep dating, etc. He emphasized we lacked chemistry. I said ok, let's be friends, etc. In that same day he said he had regreted what he said because he was strangely turned on after we talked. We had sex again and again, better and better. Last time he even said it had been great. Somedays later he started telling about how I did not accept we should just be friends, because he didn’t feel what I felt. And he regreted having had sex with me again, because he knew since the first date we lacked chemistry, etc. He even told me that he had fucked another girl the other day and there was chemistry. He said he liked to talk to me and that was all, he didn't like me as a woman. Strangely enough, he said he had fucked this girl on saturday and called me and fucked me on sunday and monday again. This all seems weird to me, mainly because I tried to back off so many times and it was him who came after me to go out again. Now there is a dissonance in my mind, I feel disrespected, confused. I am not in love with him, but our conversations lasted for hours, and I just thought that to be pretty rare. I did say some things to him in the end, that the kind of comparison he was making and talking about regret was so childsh. I guess my biggest question is in the title of the thread. Sorry, English is not my first language. I would be very glad if you have any insight. Love❤
  17. @Kalki Avatar such a beautiful description, it enriched me just by reading. Thank you. I'm not there yet, but I did have an awakening listening to Leo with some good weed, but mostly by suddenly realizing unity in a sense. I mean...experiences come and go and I'm not identified with them. I've always enjoyed being in solitude. I wrote something a few months ago on my journal that goes like this: "All those apparent characters were there flashing across the screen of my mind so I COULD SEE MYSELF! How could I be the chubby girl and the girl with the cracked belly? I was! Now I knew that I was, it was me and only me there. Before, I didn't have much conscience, I didn't pay attention, because I thought they were simply people who had nothing to do with me or my life. On the way back, I stopped at the traffic light and a rather dirty and hunchbacked man came to hand me a paper, at first I wanted to refuse, I didn't want garbage in the car. He insisted on handing it to me and as soon as I read 'I AM DEAF AND I NEED YOUR HELP...' I took it immediately, I didn't want to delay him, he had to walk around the parked cars to leave the paper in exchange for some currency. I fully understood that the deaf person was me. Before, I was a personality who didn't want to play a role in the car anymore, now I was the deaf himself developing his perfect business, delivering his message and collecting his coins. It was the first time I understood. God/I love/loves all creations". I still can suffer but it is very rapidly transformed into love and understanding. I can't explain. I also can sense people's intentions as my own, as they are. I still have to take the psychedelic leap. Maybe one day I can take the final step ?
  18. @RickyFitts Brazil is an amazing country. I find it hard to leave this place, despite all the challenges and problems we face here ?
  19. Could you try to describe how this realization transformed you in a practical sense?
  20. I see your point. It's good that we do not agree. I don't believe either way is good- feminine or masculine. We need self love. We need to go meta on these subjects. My opinion about the presidency is personal.
  21. @RickyFitts brazilian society is going through a regression, unfortunately. We have a religious fanatic in power, supported by a regressive religious group which does preach an unbalanced masculine agenda. Overall we have an amazing culture though and our people are artistic and resilient. Sometimes it's difficult finding those with different values, but we are still out there. Thank you for your support?
  22. Yes. He seemed lost and confused. Sometimes I think he was afraid he could get emotionally involved, so he started playing around and trying to lower my own self steem. But I don’t know. I will just keep silent and move on. Thank you?
  23. Yes. The hard part is to accept I lost hours talking to him and they were most empty words from his part. I think he made a persona he truly believes in. Yes. He was feeding off my energy and attention, it seems. But the irony is that he is the one who showed as "not qualified", I even feel so sorry for his emotional issues. I am not expecting anything different from him, though. He is not a boy anymore. Thank you for your kind response?
  24. Yes. I understood he was not emotionally available, but what got me puzzled was the lack of integrity. Thank you @Benton