Asayake

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Posts posted by Asayake

  1. Posted · Edited by Asayake

    Do you think there's value in thinking about dreams and what they could mean?  I have been thinking about that for a while and last night I had a particularly weird/powerful dream.

    I was at my parents house, was going to help my parents with something, not sure what. It turns out my dad's legs were not working properly. My parents were both lying in bed and not saying much. I got scared and thought we should take him to the hospital. My mom didn't think it was a good idea.

    My dad said nothing, he was like a vegetable. So I decided he must go, I picked him up and started carrying him outside. Suddenly my mom turned aggressive and it was like she was possessed by something evil. She crawled out of bed and bite onto my hand and kept holding onto my hand and increasing her bite strength. She looked absolutely furious. I had no choice it seemed but to bite her back in her head to make her let go. It took a while but she finally let go.

    I woke up and had strong shivers down my spine for about 45 seconds. Something about the dream scared me a bit.

    Does anyone have any idea what this dream could mean?

  2. Posted

    23 hours ago, vizual said:

    @K Ghoul It's very obvious from watching the video he's on front of a green screen. Obviously they weren't trying to pass it off as him actually standing in the street giving a speech lmao

    That's not so obvious to me at all. I think that's exactly the point, to make it seem like he's out in the streets. Propaganda or war tactic, call it what you want. It doesn't matter that some people like yourself see through it, the point is that the majority of people who see it will think he's out on the streets.

  3. Posted

    It probably will get you more toxins in your body. At the same time, all foods don't contain a lot of the worst ones. And many foods today are not as nutritious as they once were. So maybe eating more is also a good thing because you will get more micronutrients. Other than that your health could suffer if you're too low weight because it will mess up your hormone levels which will be taxing on your body, increased levels of cortisol and reduced test levels. So eating more food to gain weight should not be a problem in my opinion. If you're eating healthy foods the pros of getting your energy levels & hormone levels in good states as well as the fact that you're going to be getting more vitamins, minerals and fiber makes it seem to me like eating more healthy foods has a lot of pros, up to a certain point. 

  4. Posted · Edited by Asayake

    On 3/13/2022 at 5:33 AM, machinegun said:

    I'm technically an adult now and I feel as though it would suit me to have an adult body as well. What is the best way of going about this?

    I'm currently working out and researching it quite a bit and to me so far it seems like the best way is doing both high reps and low reps. Some days I do higher reps (12-20) with lower weight and focus on mind muscle connection. And other days I do lower reps (3-8) with heavier weight and also focus on mind muscle connection, but it's more difficult with heavier weight to me because just doing the movement itself requires more focus when you're using heavier weight.

    The reason a combination of low rep days and high rep days seems the best to me is that high reps will build more size on your muscle because it requires the muscles "fuel tank" to grow more if you will, which is what causes a substantial increase in muscle size. The low reps sessions increase your strength more, which is your muscles ability to create tension. An increase in strength will also improve your ability to maintain good muscle mind connection at heavier and heavier weights, the stronger you become so you can keep increasing your weight on your high rep sessions. So why train only for strength if you want chest size, throw in some high rep bench press. 3 sets 15 reps at low weight and then keep adding weight gradually each session and try to keep hitting 15 reps for 3 sets. If you can't hit 15 reps of your new weight, lower the weight for the last set and rep to 1-2 reps from failure. This drop set will keep your reps high for the high rep session even if you couldn't quite make high reps with your new weight to make sure you train the muscles endurance, fuel tank properly. Then the workout session following that you could go for lower reps, 5 or 6 reps for 3 sets and with a heavier weight than you're using at your high rep sessions.

    Another tip I would say is make sure to hit your chest atleast 2 times per week. 2 times per week seems to easiest to maintain for me personally. Some people prefer 3 times per week and I think that can give a bit faster results but it's a bit trickier with the recovery and time management. Calisthenics is really useful because if you hit the gym with a whole body routine 2 days a week it's good to add some variation to the exercises you do, maybe by hitting some high rep sets of pushups on a day in between your usual workout days to add extra chest workout volume.  You don't really need to do 10 different chest exercises for your chest to grow, just make sure to progress both at low reps and high reps in the movement. Make sure to eat enough whole foods and protein. My friend has a 140 kilo bench press and he has a great chest and overall physique. He used to do 5x5 and other powerlifting style programs before but nowadays he incorporates more high reps and has been reaping the benefits.

    I might be mistaken but my impression is that high reps is really undervalued. Same goes for isometrics but that's another story. As mentioned earlier in the thread reddeltaproject is a very good Youtube channel.

  5. Posted

    36 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

    I have worked immensly on it but no matter how much i work, it is never enough. Most people still see me as a chill, serious but cool and interesting person. It is never enough.

    Have you tried any form of yoga? I read above that you think you are a low energy person. Kriya yoga, hatha yoga, shambhavi mudra, tried any of these? I think these practices can help you open up more to others and give you more energy. When you have more energy than you need you might become more outgoing and take initiative more often. What if you start hosting events with your friends/host a party? People will start to perceive you as more outgoing and extroverted if you take initiative in a group.  Going to the gym or doing other energetic activities where you're around other people could help you get accustomed to having more energy around people.

  6. Posted · Edited by Asayake

    13 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

    Well i am not a creative person nor have interest in it to make it a career. So what goods does my introversion give me?

    Yes, i am introspective, have a natural curiousity and relatively deep thinking about reality and harder to fall into group thinking and ideology than people around me. It does not give me what i want though. 

    Maybe you would not even be on this forum if you weren't an introvert. As you said it yourself, you have a natural curiosity and think about things deeply. My guess is that the majority of people on this forum are introverts or atleast not dominant in extroversion. Your introversion maybe won't give you all the pros of being an introvert for free, if you're working as a salesman it's probably mostly a disadvantage. But you can turn it into an advantage. Instead of viewing it like your introspection is a problem that doesn't come with any pros, what if you view it like I am an introvert, how do I adapt my life to make the most use of that fact. See most people won't actively try to adapt their life in ways to benefit from their psychology. There are many ways to benefit. You probably have an easier time pursuing meditation and self inquiry than most extroverted people have. You are also missing out on a lot of problems that comes with being an extrovert, maybe you're less prone to feeling lonely when you're spending time alone. Of course, you're not limited to being strictly an introvert. What you do will change your psychology. If you really wish you had some more extroverted traits you could go out and be more socially active and your psychology will adapt and more extroverted traits will be brought out. For example if you're an introvert but want to become a standup comedian either you could play with your introverted traits in your standup comedy routine, or you could try to challenge yourself to become more extroverted and take on an extroverted alter ego during your standup act and then being more introverted during your spare time. Whatever you do there is a way of doing it like an introvert and a way of doing it like an extrovert and both are available to you, it's just one is going to come more naturally so being an introvert is a good thing if you realize that and take advantage of it when you can.

    13 hours ago, Blackhawk said:

    It's true because it's in a book?

    Yes you do, because "common sense" isn't any evidence. "Common sense" has been wrong innumerable times.

    For example according to my mom common sense says that covid-19 doesn't exist and never existed, etc.

    No it's not necessarily true because it's in the book, you are right. But the book makes a strong case for why that would likely be the case. Sometimes it's good to listen to someone who has spent a great deal of her life investigating the matter(in this case Susan Cain). She backs her claims up with studies in the book. Buddha and Steve Wozniak are just two examples of people doing their thing alone with great success. Another example is The Beatles, the band played together and recorded together but when it came to songwriting John, Paul, George, Ringo, everyone of them wrote the music alone. Lennon & McCartney split the credit of many songs but they actually went off alone to write and did not write together. Literally think of any inventor in history and most of the time the invention will have been done solo. Beethoven, Bach, Mozart, Schubert, Chopin, Liszt. They all wrote alone because becoming a great musician takes years of venturing off on your own in exploration.

  9. Posted

    46 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

    i can't sleep and forget...

    It sucks sometimes man, stay strong. At end of last year I became concious of dreadful meaninglessness of existance after being awake for 48+ hours. But what I realized after a couple of nights proper sleep and just focusing on the basics, food, water, sleep, some short meditation sessions was that meaninglessness is not actually final. It seems that way when you're concious of it but all experiences I had up until that point had passed into something else. And so this feeling eventually passed as well. I snapped out of it and realized meaninglessness is just another stance, perspective that is pointless to settle on in the long run but certainly can be insightful to experience for a shorter period of time. It is settling for the perspective of meaninglessness that made conciousness appear absolutely meaninglessness. You're stressing yourself up a bit over the situation which is why you can't sleep. If you drink some water, take a shower, maybe some light yoga or weed if you're into that to help you relax a bit. Listen to some music you like. You don't always need to think so much about existential things. Contemplating can be insightful but letting yourself be "distracted" by music, a movie you like or by eating some snack you like can help you rest and let you shift perspective. It's easy to get stuck in one perspective. God? Yes, but how about watching a cute pig video "by the fire" with your girlfriend. Or cuddling up with a few pillows and eating some cookies. Meaningless? Until suddenly it isn't! You're reminding me of when I was tripping on 3g of shrooms and I had this terribly strong urge to get rid of my experience so I was frantically googling and trying to think my way out of the experience. But suddenly the experience let go by itself and things were back to normal but having had the tough experience makes you wiser, better off in the end. Even if it can feel like the experience is permanent. Because even if it is, your perspective on it will change with time.

    5 minutes ago, Forza21 said:

    Deeper than god? i created all the stages, it's it game over ? and i can't unseen what i've seen

    Mistakenly quoted this and can't manage to unquote it lol.

  11. Posted · Edited by Asayake

    2 hours ago, Forza21 said:

     


    Because even my "girlfriend" is pure fantasy. It's all me. I'm all alone. Right now i'm talking to me self, using my next self-deception as Leo. It was no fucking joke that there's no one to awaken but YOU.  

    if i can't get less conscious, and forget, and can't enjoy it either what to do?

    "It's all me. I'm all alone." Is this not just another story you're telling yourself? If you tell yourself there are others, it seems as if there are. If you tell yourself it's all you, that's all there is. They are 2 different stories painted on the exact same canvas. Pick the one which feels right mate.

    Edit: Wanted to add, make sure you have adequate food, water and regular sleep. When I don't have those I can slip into uncomfortable perspectives and not be aware that there's a different way of looking at things..

  12. Posted

    10 hours ago, Hello from Russia said:

    Nice, man

    I guess I was looking for an excuse to continue all of that stuff. Cause I really love how it makes me feel/how I start to develop super powers via it. If things like awakening were not on a line, I guess I would love to live my dream out in this fashion regardless. Still very cool dream, imo. You're expanding the capabilities of your human self and it feels so damn nice to do so, especially with all this psychic stuff

    What super powers are you developing? Is it via meditation?

  13. Posted

    My mother had a shoulder impingement that bothered her a lot during her sleep. Things like pulling your shoulder blades down & back and lightly lifting your chest on a regular basis, especially when carrying things seemed to help her recover faster. Before she was doing this the pain persisted for many weeks. When she started actively becoming conscious of her upper back posture like this the problem was gone after about a week. So if it's impingement you could try that. If that doesn't hurt/make it worse you could try it anyways because it helps open the shoulders which takes strain of them in general. It's the same posture one would use for a farmers walk pretty much. You can also engage your core muscles and glutes and tuck your tailbone downwards to create a neutral hip position to give your lower back more stability. Stability seems to be built from down up.

    These are the tips I would give you. I am just figuring things like this out myself too though so take it with a grain of salt. I have kyphosis and scoliosis myself so I've had to research a lot regarding posture, stretches, yoga, strength training to help with my back issues.

  14. Posted

    On 25/02/2022 at 6:44 PM, Mason Riggle said:

    @Seeker_of_truth no problem.

    Alan Watts puts it this way- "I have no other self than the totality of things of which I am aware."  Its kind of sloppy language, but it's a good pointer.

    I like to think of it this way.. I am everything that is typically considered to be 'not me'.  Everything that is 'not me' defines who I am.

    This 'triangle' is actually not there.. it's really 'everything that's not the triangle' that gives the illusion of a triangle. 

    35_kanizsa_main.png

    Woah that illusion analogy is sick! Much appreciated.

  15. Posted

    I can't seem to stop thinking that it's a good idea to make those whom I love try psychedelics. After all psychedelics was how I first got into this journey I'm currently on with meditation, practicing work, working out, eating healthy, yoga, reading, self improvement, trying to make the best of every situation, no matter what hand I'm dealt, trying to bring acceptance and love to those around me. And I'm loving it every day, even my worse days, I can stand now. I wish everyone would be able to experience this inner transformation phenomena. The perceptions, visions, sound alterations, thoughts etc during the trip itself is magic, completely unexplainable and amazing . But the direction life can take a couple of years later as a long term consequence of the inner change that sets into action during the trip. There is not a word for the thankfulness which I feel for that.

    But how would I be without it?

    My life was heading downhill fast. My mental condition was not good, not good at all. I can picture myself working at McDonalds 45 years old, alone, fat, porn addicted, taking hard drugs, playing league of legends 24/7  for 10s of thousands of hours yet still being the lowest rank, telling kids on there they should kill themselves for playing poorly. Dying early from heart attack due to horrible progressed kyphosis and bad food and training habits. OR just from sheer anxiety itself. This is a highly likely scenario from my point of view. Oh what my life would be without my curiosity and open-mindedness toward psychedelics.

    But if I couldn't make it without psychedelics(atleast according to how I think about the matter), how could most of my friends and my family ever make it? Some of them are doing fine and have things going for them despite the fact. But I can tell most of them are just depressed to a crippling degree and they're not even conscious of it themselves. It is a horrifying thing to bear witness to. The endless self imposed suffering, they don't have the belief systems, open mindedness, they don't have what it takes to stick to meditation for months on end or stop themselves from eating McDonalds daily and start working out. And neither had I before psychedelics. So what if I could make them think it's a good idea to swallow a piece of blotter once, in an educated manner? How would I convince them it's a good idea, is it even a good idea making my friends and perhaps even parents and siblings try psychedelics?

  16. Posted · Edited by Asayake

    My first mushroom trip alone was something similar. Really took me by surprise how hard it hit me as i had done acid multiple times before then with no issues. On my shroom trip I remember having visions of the execution of Saddam Hussein and visions of me falling out of my window. Thinking that I had lost my mind. Spending a good amount of time panicking, trying to google how to get out of the trip. Because I thought that was a rational thing to do somehow. I was also very confused and dizzy, it was as if I had been kicked in the face and was grasping to remember how I got where I am. Felt crazy when I sobered up, suddenly I was 100% sober with 0 trip going on and everything felt crystal clear. WOW... that hit me by surprise. Now a year later I am feeling better than I ever have in my life though.. so maybe that did something good after all, who knows..

    For now I'm sticking to meditation & acid though.. but if I return to the shroom I hope she'll be gentler to me the next time around..

  19. Posted

    I was vegan for 4.5 years. I used to see it as either you support animal cruelty or you're anti animal cruelty, in which case you would be vegan. But if you're not vegan that would have made you into an enemy. Now, that tactic worked poorly. As far as I know 0 people went vegan by me lecturing them on their evils. And I did lecture many. But it just made them stop listening to me. Instead of turning this into a conflict between racists and anti racists, maybe just acting with exemplary behaviour is enough. Others will follow suit.

  20. Posted

    From my point of view, since I am not personally involved with this situation. I can see clearly that it is funny and not really a big problem. There have been many such cases in my life where something appears to be a problem when it really isn't.  But it is merely a distraction from what you really ought to be focusing on. Either it's a distraction or it's a pointer to something you could work on in your own life. You don't need to befriend the girl.. but would it be so bad if you did? Your negative perception of her might change completely once you get to know her.

  22. Posted

    I achieved my position of work through following my passion, but it looked in many different ways as it took different turns, different forms. I had worked 2 jobs before that had nothing to do with what I work with now. These were jobs I did not really like and just had to work as since I didn't really try to make money with my passion before. One new years eve when I was working at my 2nd job which was killing me I had an emotional breakdown at a friends new years eve party. After that I knew I had to get myself out of the position I was in and pursue something worthwhile. Even though I am working with my passion now it's still hard work and I am forced to work a lot which takes a lot of energy and well.. time, And it's pretty lonely at times, which in the beginning made me question my path a lot. Watching my friends go to student parties etc while I'm grinding away and losing fitness. Losing touch with some of my old social circles etc. I even quit my path once for 6 months because I had enough but then I came back and kept on going. I finally learned to cope with the loneliness and stress so now I very rarely find myself questioning my path anymore. Increasingly I am enjoying the journey. And as far as the enjoyment of being self-employed, it really is great for me as I really enjoy alone time and I get a lot of it now with my job. I also get to pursue further mastery of my craft, which has been of great service for me in many ways and freed me from working with a mind-numbing job. 

  24. Posted

    21 hours ago, Nahm said:

    The thought ‘I’m sad’ is just a thought. There isn’t the implied self the thought is about. The thought was attached to, it was believed there was a self which ‘has’ a thought(s) and is / was sad. But there isn’t a past either, that is also a thought. ‘I’m glad’ I was never sad, is just another thought. 

    Aaah,,, so it's like.. if I think I got it, I didn't necessarily really get it because that's only the thought that 'I got it', not me actually getting it? And if I think I haven't got it just yet, the 'just yet' implies a future where I will get it which is also actually just a thought so if I haven't got it yet I never will and If I have got it I always will? And actually the 'I' that thinks the thought is also just a thought so that means there is no self having the thought but actually that self is just a part of thought as an object? What about being glad, is that possible because it's just being with a feeling labeled as glad? So it's not the thought of being glad but there's a difference?  I think I almost got it...

  25. Posted

    On 1/11/2022 at 0:08 AM, Sugarcoat said:

    I´m not saying meditation is to be avoided, or that I will never meditate again. I´m saying that I used to believe and feel certainly that meditation was doing something special, one of them being alleviating me from suffering, so something was lost if I didn´t meditate, that´s how I felt. Sometimes my family could ask "wanna follow us we will go and buy some things" and I´d say "no I have to meditate", as if meditation is inherently a more valuable way of spending my time. There was a tension "will I get home in time to meditate". Not intense tension and fear, but still a little bit. This was felt and seen through. Now it´s like "okay I can meditate if I want, but I don´t know what it will do, will it make me more peaceful? Perhaps, will it induce some special experience? Perhaps, but I don´t feel like I know that anymore".

    When it comes to pleasure, most of the time I´m at home studying so there is not much in my life that would compete with meditation so that I would have to rationalize it away in order to pursue pleasure. Wouldn´t rationalization of not doing meditation only be necessary if I felt like meditation threatens something, if I felt like something was lost, some pleasure perhaps, if I meditated? But it was the opposite, I felt something was lost if I DIDNT meditate, so I had to rationalize why I should meditate. 

    I´m not claiming to be in some enlightened state of not knowing, I have no idea about enlightenement. I´m not gonna sit here and say "I dont know if time is real", why? Because it wouldnt be congruent with my feelings/sense. It certanly feels like time is very real.

    But the certainty about meditation doing something special for me doesn´t feel real anymore, there I don´t feel like I know. 

    You seem to genuinely want to help me see through potential self deception, I appreciate that , hopefully I´m more clear now

    What if you blur the line between meditation and ordinary life. A technique like vipassana is clutch to bring being into everyday life activities. Deepen the practice with meditation sessions occasionally if you want but try cultivating more being into everyday moments by e.g. occasionally becoming aware of a few breaths through your nose during everyday activities instead of focusing on formal meditation sessions. If you practice like that you will get to see things from a different perspective which might dissolve some of the thoughts that are bugging you right now regarding meditation automatically. Instead of questioning to go shopping with your family because you think you should meditate you might just naturally end up doing what your meaning is in that moment, which is to go shopping with your family, because by being present in the moment, the Now, you will gravitationally pull towards going with your family harder, if that's what you should do. Because the striving for a formal meditation session seizes when you're already present where you are. And it will also make you more optimistic about formal meditation. Because now you get a chance to cultivate the presence you had with your family in a meditation session. But the best way to deepen your presence with your family might just be to be more present when you're with your family. By showing them love and acceptance and being in their presence.  Instead of focusing all your presence during the formal meditation sessions on yourself, you need to let your presence expand throughout your day and direct more acceptance to everyday things which you are feeling are taking up your meditation time. 

    I don't know if this would apply exactly to your situation. But this is what comes to mind when I read your reply. I've questioned my meditation a few times before and quit it as well. Coming back to it was always a good choice for me. And usually the reason I was quitting/practicing far less regularly had nothing to do with meditating itself but with my idea of what meditation is. Personally formal practice is very useful though, because otherwise I tend to bullshit myself more into thoughts that serve no purpose and only drag me down in the long run.

    I wish you luck and hope you find what you might!