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Everything posted by Asayake

  1. @BipolarGrowth Thank you for sharing your workouts. I think I will have to start tracking my lifts as you said because that's something I haven't been doing properly which I think could make a big difference for me. Right now I just go at it but I am losing track of how many workouts I've done or what I've been doing before lol. I'm going to try some stuff of your program!
  2. old but gold
  3. Hey man, stay strong. The things you're going through right now sounds like they could be transformative. It's hard to see once you're in it because it's uncomfortable and confusing. You don't need to understand everything you're going through right now but you'll make sense of things with some time, I'm sure of it. Journaling sounds like a great idea, might help you to structure your thoughts a bit and help make sense of the feelings. Make sure you drink enough water and eat some food, give the body what it needs. Make sure to let yourself rest properly and be with whatever arises when it does so.
  4. Good job man!! You got more results than I had in months so you're clearly doing something right. You also already look like you're packing tons of muscle just based on your face(I think it may be your beard that gives you a bit of that strongman/viking vibe lol). What does your workouts look like, do you follow a plan or do it your own way? Going to the gym and running are 2 things I love. It's therapy for me. The increase in energy baseline is so valuable. Good luck with the future gains
  5. Being, the Now, God, Eckhart uses all these words pretty synonymously in The Power of Now. He just doesn't use the word God often because he thinks it's a misunderstood word that comes with a lot of preconceptions and scares off the general public.
  6. Make sure that you're in a safe place while you're doing it(preferably at your home or at a trustable friends place). Make sure you feel pretty good on the day you're tripping. Dedicate the entire day to the trip, preplan by stashing up on food and different things you could need during the trip and the following couple of days so that you can rest the days after the trip. Have 2 days free to rest after the trip, because sometimes tripping can be a bit intense and make you tired afterwards. Make sure to drink enough water during the trip, it will help you recover better afterwards and keep you hydrated which makes you feel better. Follow your intuition during the trip as to what you want to do during the trip. You don't need to preplan the activies of the trip too much but you can just go with the flow. Maybe you'll find yourself wanting to watch some art online, then just go with the flow and try that out. Or you want to just lie down and think about life or feel your breath, then do that. Or you get an inclination to write a bit, then you can do that. Just don't do risky things like going out to the supermarket or something like this. Stay at a private place and do what you feel like doing at that specific time. You could start with an even lower dose, like 20-40 mcg, especially if you're doing it alone and it's your first time doing it. A dose like that is not going to cause much visual hallucinations or the classic LSD trip but will still alter your experience in a more subtle way and give you a small hint for what a bigger dose could feel like. But 75 mcg or even 100 mcg can work first time alone as well for some people, it's just that you can't know how you'll react to it the first time you take it and the power of LSD should not be underestimated. It can be a very intense experience for many people at such a dose, so be prepared for that. Do you have experience with any other drugs? Yes! This is one of my favorite things to do. It can be very beautiful.
  7. Have some music & headphones at hand. It can be very beautiful to close your eyes and listen to some good music. And if things get intense music can help make sense of things by guiding you to see the beauty of life. As far as meditation goes, some technique you know how to do would be the best so you can just start meditating when you want to explore that. (Being aware of what is(your breath, body sensations, sounds, etc.) and letting things be as they are is a technique that works well for me on psychedelics.) You're afraid that the trip will show you how you think the world is and reinforce that. I think we project how we think the world is onto the world all the time, it's how you create the world. I think you being aware this could be the case is good so you don't delude yourself into thinking everything is in some way it isn't. But you probably don't need to worry about it too much. However, if you meditate or feel into your breath and body sensations you can let go of thoughts a bit and experience the trip more "as it is" and not as how you're thinking it is. If you're stuck in your thinking a lot it will direct your trip more and if you're more connected with your breath and body, being more mindful, the trip will manifest itself more as it wants to you. But there's no need to try and force things. If you're having a lot of thoughts and you feel it's pulling you with it you can just go with the flow and think a lot about life and stuff. It can be very eye opening. If it becomes too much you can always reconnect with your breath and surrender to the direct experience.
  8. My advice would be, start trying to create & finish songs. It will expose your weaknesses as a producer, mixer, songwriter and composer, some things will go smooth and some things not so smooth. You will encounter things you don't know how to do but want to do and then maybe be forced to take a break in creating the song to try to figure out the production aspect of it, which technique/tool to use to be able to do what you wanted to do. You may also get stuck because you have a certain musical idea you can barely hear in your head for example and then when trying to find it on an instrument/midi editor you can't play it. When trying to figure it out you maybe had to learn to play a tricky rhythm or had to learn new chord voicings to be able to express the idea you had. In other words, when trying to create music you will run into different moments where you don't know exactly how to do the thing you're trying to do and then you'll be forced to figure things out. This would be a good way to identify useful things to know how to do and improve your capitol as far as music production/songwriting/composing skills go. What I like about this is that it's simple, just make music and spend a good amount of time and effort on doing so, learning by solving all different kinds of problems along the way. The obstacles you run into will be relevant for your learning and many of the problems you manage to solve will reappear in the future when you're making more music and then you will be better prepared and have solutions or ideas to pull from. The better you get the hang of things, the more nuanced the problems become. If you want to become good at making music in general just solving whatever problem you face that stop you from making the song how you want it to sound will make you well rounded, sometimes the mix sucks and needs to be worked on, sometimes the song doesn't flow well, sometimes you can't play the thing you want to record yet on your instrument etc. Sometimes there are problems that can't be easily fixed and then you'll be forced to get creative and work around them and find your own way of doing things. Sometimes our inability to play something makes us come up with something else. And maybe the new thing we came up with sounded better or was more personal somehow. You can learn a lot by making music and finishing it.
  9. Rational Ability = 31 / 50 Rational Engagement = 30 / 50 Experiential Ability = 47 / 50 Experiential Engagement = 47 / 50 I think it makes sense considering that I'm an INFP according to MBTI tests online. I go more by intuition for sure. I think many people think they're more rational than they really are but in actuality they're going more by intuition than they think they do but rationalize their own decisions as they go to explain away their opinions or actions as being rational. Or maybe this is just me, lmao.
  10. Sounds a lot like my own life. I'm not sure my mother is an INFP however, I don't understand mbti well enough yet to be able to know what either of my parents are. But my parents raised me to be a doormat, overly polite and kind to others, without them being conscious of it, of course. I had problems with standing up for myself for a long time. I became good at a lot of things that I needed to be good at to please everyone. Since I couldn't stand up for myself I learned to make everyone like me so I didn't have any potential conflicts, which is a valuable skill in a sense. But also emotionally exhausting and unhealthy when done all the time. I became really good at forming friendships, where being more passive and letting people have their way usually is appreciated in the beginning because being with me usually was just good vibes. But it didn't serve me so well at forming relationships, where it's not so attractive for a guy to be a doormat, too agreeable. I also became pretty good at manipulating people to make myself appear as they wanted me to appear. If a friend wanted to meet me and I rather wanted to be alone to process my feelings a bit i would say yes anyways because I was programmed to never say no if it made other people disappointed. Then I would meet my friend and put extra energy into it so that I could appear to be there really enjoying it so that my friend was satisfied. I've resolved most of these issues completely now but sometimes I find myself back in old patterns. Now I'm trying to understand my personality better by learning more about mbti because I like the model and it has been helpful to my understanding of how and why my life has unfolded as it has.
  11. Well, it seems to me like he fell in love with you. It's not uncommon when a guy is talking with a girl for a long time. If you are sure you don't want the guy you should try to make that clear as soon as possible. You can simply tell him that you like him as a friend and nothing more than that and say that he is an amazing guy and whoever gets him will be lucky and that you would like to still be friends with him if he wants that, maybe something like that if you're close friends atleast, to give him a small confidence boost after the rejection. He probably keeps saying similar stuff today because you didn't give him a clear answer before and as long as he doesn't get a clear answer which makes him fully understand you're not interested he will always have some hope that you're secretly interested in him too, because he's a bit infatuated with you. You not responding should have made him understand honestly, but it's easy to say from my outsider perspective. It's harder when it's first person point of view and feelings are involved and you have been talking with someone for months. It's a tricky situation. But my bet is that rejecting him in some other way than silence is to be preferred if you want to try to save the friendship. I would also like to point out that a 17 year age gap and 1 on 1 talking for a year, as a guy it looks a lot like something that's about more than friendship. Of course a male to female friendship with 17 year age gap is not impossible. But it sure is pretty uncommon. I can easily see how the guy thought it was leading to something more eventually since the beginning and he was not sure because you didn't show that kind of interest. But then after talking for almost a year he finally decided he has to go for it and can't wait forever. This is just speculation though, it could also be that he first saw you as a friend and then got more interested as time went on. It's up to you and him if you can continue the friendship knowing that he probably has feelings for you.
  12. Swap to creatine monohydrate, tastes like nothing If you mix it with water.
  13. Looks fine to me. Maybe their Vganics product is the best from a health perspective. Although all their powders seem to be heavy metal tested which is the most important thing. Maybe dive a bit deeper into looking at their testing reports to make sure it all looks good. High heavy metal levels was found to be more common in vegan powders than in non vegan ones. Now, when it comes to vegan powders there are some pros and cons for the different kinds. The best tasting vegan protein is going to be soy isolate. But that's also the unhealthiest kind. Pea & rice or pea, rice & hemp protein combos are as good as soy protein quality wise but never seem to mix as well nor taste as good. So there's a trade off there. However, pea & rice combo proteins seem to be a lot gentler on the stomach than soy or animal based powders(whey being the worst on the stomach).
  14. A couple of weeks ago I had a crazy synchronicity that just proved to me once again that life just can't be random and it gave me more motivation to further intensify my investigation of what the heck actually is going on here ... I was at a friends place to meet another friend that has moved to another city to study music and he was back in town for a couple of days to meet up with some friends(me being one of them). We both share a deep passion for music. When the night was nearing its end and we were walking home from our friends place we were doing an ear training exercise together where one person says a specific musical interval(two notes with a difference in pitch between them is called an interval in music theory), and the other person sings the two notes that makes up said interval to see if one is able to recall what the specific interval asked for sounds like by ear. We were saying(and singing) a few different intervals to each other, both of us succeeding at recalling certain intervals as well as failing to recall other ones. The last interval we did before stopping our little game and parting ways was me asking my friend to sing an interval known as a major 6th. He succeeded to do so and I could hear what he sung was correct, not because I really recalled what that interval sounded like myself, but because a song came to mind that I used to play on piano in high school, a jazz song called "Days Of Wine And Roses". That song starts with a major 6th interval and so I recalled how the interval he sung sounded because it sounded like the first notes of the song I used to play. I hadn't thought of that song for many years and figured I should listen to it once I get home. Noteworthy is that I didn't play piano in high school other than a couple of songs(Days Of Wine And Roses being one of them), my main instrument was bass. My friend only plays piano, he studies classical piano but has never played any jazz piano himself. We part ways and I go home to my apartment. When I'm at home at my apartment I am thinking of Days Of Wine And Roses. I'm about to go search for it on Spotify to listen to it. Then I recall, Better Call Sauls final season is out. I had completely forgot about it and was excited to watch the first episode. I close Spotify and open Netflix to start watching episode 1. I see the name of the first episode: "Wine and Roses". That's a funny synchronicity I thought to myself. I press play. Music starts playing, wait a minute... it's Days Of Wine And Roses!! The intro song to the final season is freaking Days Of Wine And Roses!! I had to pause the episode to just take in the absurdity of it all. WTF?! LOL Rewind a couple of weeks earlier, the same friend had just finished watching the TV Series Breaking Bad, which I told him he should watch. He loved it. We were chatting about it back then and I told him he should watch Better Call Saul(The Breaking Bad prequel) next because he in particular loved the character that's the main character of that show. He said he will make sure to do so. I thought this was interesting to bring up, because me and my friend both share the domains of music and the breaking bad universe in our lives. But the blindspots of said shared domains(he has not seen Better Call Saul, has not listened Days Of Wine And Roses or jazz music in general)… seems like a funny coincidence. Thinking about this a couple of weeks later, I'm still speechless, WTF is this? LOL
  15. What do you think of Rupert Spira? He proposed a lot of self-inquiry as "the soultion" as far as I am aware. Does his teachings lead to God-realization?
  16. Thank you for your guidance here, very helpful. Do you know any good books on this topic? Joe Diszpenza? I just had what I believe might be a manifestation today. Nothing huge but I was waiting on a package to be delivered by the postman. The postman always comes by around 12-13 pm here, if he doesn't arrive at this time he basically never arrives that day. He didn't arrive within this time today. And then I sat on my bed and sorts of prayed(I still have no idea how manifestation works, I'm just experimenting myself). I said "Please God make the postman still come today, show me a sign" and repeated this in my head a few times. Then I let go of thoughts and became conscious of my inner body. Then I let thoughts like "I know manifestation is real and this would make me believe it even more", "The postman is still going to come simmer in my mind, feeling excited about how cool it would be if the postman still arrived. I imagined he was here right about now, like it was no big ting and and easy thing to make happen. I was doing this all for about 10 minutes total. Then low and behold, within an hour the postman arrived with my package. This doesn't really prove manifestation I guess since there's still a low probability the postman just arrived here late on randomness. But i can't recall the last time that happened probably once 5-6 months ago or so. So it's enough to make me even more convinced. Can I read about your manifestations somewhere, do you have a thread/post about it? Sounds reasonable. Do you know if manifestation comes with realizing you're God? I have not fully realized this yet.
  17. @Matthew85 So in some sense I even manifested manifestation itself into my life? I didn't believe in it at first and had thoughts like "manifestation is absolute bullshit" but then started thinking things like "What if it's actually real, I can't really know for sure" as I started becoming more openminded. I then stopped manifesting a reality in which manifestation is absolutely not real. And started manifesting a reality in which there is a possibility of manifestation being real? Then since manifestation is suddenly a possibility, sooner or later synchronicities and manifestations start occurring. When I had experienced it enough times, I started to believe it was real based on my direct experience. Then I started thinking it is for sure is real, and so manifestation being 100% real manifests into my reality?
  18. Very interesting! I think you're onto something... Manifestations are happening all the time and I'm just missing it because as you said, usually things happen so far apart that I don't even remember the fact that I manifested it into existence with my thoughts earlier? How incredible really... I remember a few years ago when I first started looking into spirituality and I read about manifestation and thought it was just some new age bullshit.. I would read someone say life is a dream and think of it as a metaphor, not literally. It's hard to believe that I'm sitting here now a couple of years later contemplating how the heck manifestation etc. actually works, because there's not any doubt in my mind anymore that it's real. I have had a few synchronicities that I'm aware of before, but nothing hit me as hard as this one. I'm going to research this a lot in the near future, it is super interesting to me, a sort of mindfuck of all mindfucks
  19. Yes, the human "Someone here" is very small and fragile. He makes poor judged decisions all the time just like all humans(just like me as Asayake constantly fucks things up and makes mistakes), sin as they call it in Christianity. It's nothing to beat ourselves up over since it is simply put human nature. But our sins can weigh on us like heavy baggage, which causes us suffering. We carry the baggage of our sins with us everywhere we go(just like Jesus carried the cross to his death, Jesus was God in his human form). But in the Now is where you stop being the human "Someone here" and your deeper self is revealed. The baggage of sins we carry with us exists only in our thoughts(past & future). Our sins cause us suffering right now only because we think about the mistakes we made in our past and it feeds into negative emotions of shame, guilt, despair, meaninglessness etc. We are afraid of making mistakes again in the future and so think thoughts about everything that can go wrong in the future. But the future & past doesn't really exist. It's just an illusion created by thought. When you feel your breath and body you are free from your thoughts, freed from your sins by God. Try to notice how there really is no problem when you feel your breath, if you keep returning there it will transform you. You will gain clarity and less and less mistakes will happen because the mistakes that happen in the future is just a repetition of mistakes that you made in the past. In the Now no mistakes are made, thing just are as they are, even if something unfortunate happens it's a part of Gods plan. My bet is, when you looked out over the city you were in the moment, the Now. That's why it was one of the happiest mornings you've had in a long time. A deeper knowing of yourself which transcends thought was felt right then and there while you were watching the city. The moment was pure even if you had feelings of meaninglessness or being small, those feelings are actually healing in the Now, it's just that our mind is scared of them and wants to escape them because feeling those feelings ultimately leads us back to who we truly are and kills the illusion of the ego.
  20. Just a perspective man, feel your breath & inner body. No thoughts about how being a man is doomed there, is there? Keep returning to your breath and feelings of your body, that's the feeling of life, be with those feelings and let go of the thoughts, they don't serve you.
  21. Well put. I agree with everything you wrote completely.
  22. Go deep in a genre you like. Try to learn from it, figure out how to recreate the sound that define that genre. Figure out which plugins people use in that genre and try different ones to find ones you like. Let's say you like deep house. Learn how to create a deep house style kick, how to create a deep house style drum groove. How to build a deep house chord progression and try to put an entire deep house track together. Repeat and make a few deep house tracks. After that you can dive into an other genre, let's say Chicago house. You do the same process, learn how to create those kind of sounds. Then when you try to put a track together, you can start mixing elements from different genres you've explored. How would a Chicago house style chord progression work with a deep house drum groove? The more genres you've experimented with the more you can start mixing & matching different sounds from different influences and create something unique. But if you don't dive deep in any genre your musical language and production skill will suffer. This is a very practical approach, but it will produce results. Then when you know how to create tons of sounds and grooves and got a good sense of melody in different styles, eventually you can let go of thinking so much about it and just start creating stuff until you come upon some idea that you fall in love with(this is also a good way to go about it no matter where you're at, but working on your foundation is never a bad idea either).