Asayake

Do the things you want consciously as you said, and do them a lot, so that it becomes shallow/boring/the meaninglessness of the cravings are felt, like you would get bored of your favourite song if you listened to it too much. Then lie in bed for a few days and do not much at all, just sleep and rest there a lot, and allow yourself to be very lazy and unproductive for a couple of days. You will become bored sooner or later and then you can decide okay, now it's time to get back on track again. You go out for a run or do some yoga or workout or take a walk, something that energizes you. Then you start pursuing the meaningful things in your life again. The contrast of first doing the meaninglessness things and being bored and tired in bed compared to the energy you will get from the excercise and the fulfillment/meaningfulness you will get from getting back on your path will create a gravitational pull towards the things you should be doing and you will not be much interested in the more shallow cravings anymore. This is how I like to do it, a reset. It's maybe not the quickest but it is a lot quicker than trying to surpress cravings and then getting stuck in a loop of evergrowing cravings that sooner or later take you over and keep you stuck for even longer.

Cute bird. I hope he's doing well these days. I love birds

Ok, I will try this the coming days and see what happens :)!

Just straight from the phone when you're sleeping or do you use in ear or headphones?

How do you listen to this?

Perhaps not a problem for everybody. But for me thinking was a problem and I relied too much on it as you said, which made me overlook connecting with my feelings, which caused anxiety because I was not letting myself feel but instead always escaping into my thoughts and theories. I have many thinker friends who have obvious stress and health issues, I think it can be a common issue for thinkers although not for everyone of course. Even if I don't use thinking as much these days I still use it, but it's not a problem anymore because I let go of it when I don't need it instead of getting stuck in it. It's easy to become so obsessed with your thoughts that you discard your health because you lose your connection to your feelings and stop listening to what their body is telling you, everything just goes through the rational mind. I'm not saying this is every thinker but I was this way myself and the biggest personal development progress I've made to date was to stop projecting my negative thoughts onto the world by letting go of them and connecting more to my feelings. The change is so big that I think it could be called a change in personality type, that's why I don't believe personality type is formed and then can't be changed. You could argue that I was always a feeler rather than thinker type and that I had overthinking and anxiety problems and went from unhealthy INFP to healthy INFP, yes I can see a certain validity in that perspective. But you could just as well argue that I went from INTP to INFP, just two different ways of looking at the same change in reality? Likewise. I always enjoy reading your posts and the positivity and perspective you bring to the forum ! I am not sure if I have had an experience with kundalini myself or just a very intense prana experience but one time when I got really really high on cannabis from bong smoking and I became aware of an intense energy in my body and was able to feel my entire spine getting uncomfortably warm and I had uncontrollable shaking in my legs and back for a couple of hours and was forced to sit in a cross legged meditation position because lying down made my body shake like crazy. The only thing that made it endurable was to feel into it and let go of thoughts and become the observer and be aware of my breath and the intense energy in my body. A couple of hours later it stopped and I returned to a more normal state of consciousness but the whole following week I was feeling a lot of joy and love, like I had been freed from some emotional baggage. How did you receive the message to let go of thoughts more and get in touch with the feelings from your kundalini awakening? Is it that the feeling itself was so intense that it "forced" you to direct your attention into your body and then you realize you're free from thought or how did it tell you this lesson?

Since we're moving towards a more attention centered world with the internet, social media, celebrities etc. the world is catering more and more toward extroverts. Introverted scientists were cool back in the day. But today the people in science who are known are not the best scientists(who are strong introverts most of the time) but people like Elon Musk who has an extroverted persona online on Twitter etc. Look at the music industry as another example, back in the day it was composers that sat for thousands of hours practicing their instruments alone or writing music who were the big stars. Look at the big stars today, Doja Cat does not strike me as an introvert. And even if she is, her stage persona certainly isn't. Extroverts are better at grabbing our attention which generates more clicks and views, which generates more money. Also most artists today make most of their living playing live gigs. Many introverted artists like for example Avicii(RIP) suffered from this because they were forced to be on tour being exposed to large crowds of people all the time to stay relevant. The big stars of today are mostly extroverts and if they're not, they're pretending to be in public because that's what's needed to get peoples attention today. Movie stars, artists, politicians(think Donald Trump, extrovert deluxe), reality stars, influencers. These are the big stars of today and they're all extroverted or pretending to be. Not to say there isn't some introverted programmer sitting in his basement making millions of dollars. But he is not publicly known apart from a few exceptions. Yes and no. Extroverts are better suited for certain leadership positions while introverts are better suited for other leadership positions. Extroverts tend to voice their ideas more often, not giving introverts much chance to voice their own opinions on things. This can be good and bad. It can give a group a certain direction and there will less uncertainty about what should be done and more executing of tasks, more productivity. But introverted people often have good ideas because they spend more of their time investigating thoughts and ideas by themselves, the ideas will be less mainstream and more out there, more creative. An extroverted leader of a band for example could be disastrous because in a band it's important to get the most creative power out of everyone in the band, everyone needs to have their ideas heard. And if everyone's not getting their ideas heard because they have an extroverted leader who is taking up a lot of space, a lot of good ideas will be lost and the introverted people will be too shy to voice their ideas even if their ideas are a lot better. However maybe for a fast food place for example, it's better to have an extroverted leader. Because there's not much creative ideas needed but rather getting everyone to follow orders and to do the work required is what's most important in this case. An introverted leader could be a problem because they will not be as assertive towards others as is needed and they will leave more up to the group in terms of how to do things. This does not work with an immature group and will result is disorder and cutting corners. I have experience of this myself when i worked as a substitute teacher in elementary school. As an introvert myself I had a hard time not just letting the kids do what they wanted to do, which of course always ended with some sort of disaster . Some extroverted teachers are too assertive though and don't let the kids have any say in anything. Balance is a good thing. Kids can learn from their mistakes.

I think psychedelics changed my personality type. I was more of a rationalist and was thinking a lot in my teens, very into science etc. But brain structure is changeable to some extent. Psychedelics made me realize I had built my understanding of the world on a castle of sand and as time passed I managed to connect more and more to my feelings and become more like I was when I was a child, less of a thinker. Now I experience the world more as a piece of art rather than a problem to be solved. And some of the overflowing joy I had in my childhood has been finding it's way back when I stopped thinking so much about everything, it reconnected me to my feelings and changed my personality. I'm not quite sure what my personality type was when I was younger but I think it might have been INTP or INTJ and now it's INFP.

Have you tried Lion's mane mushroom? It's a supplement that can help with memory and cognitive function.

@Loba This hits close to home. Damn

My best friend is ESTJ and I'm an INFP. So exceptions are possible. Although he doesn't really understand spirituality and is more focused on material goals. He is very goal oriented and driven, works hard and gets what he wants. However, I was probably more of an INTP when we learned to know eachother. I used to be an INFP when I was a child and now last couple of years I've become INFP again. I think our strong loyalty to eachother has kept us together.

Funky music in general makes me just close my eyes and feel like I'm in some kind of cosmic musical party, free from all worries. Makes me feel freedom and love for life. I think the people who made the music felt the love and it's transmitting through the music.

3.5 grams and I am hesitant to go beyond that right now. It might change in the future if I become more comfortable with tripping hard but my last shroom experience was very disorienting and shook me by its sheer intensity and next level mindfuck and that was a 3 grams dose. Shrooms are powerful!

@BipolarGrowth Thank you for sharing your workouts. I think I will have to start tracking my lifts as you said because that's something I haven't been doing properly which I think could make a big difference for me. Right now I just go at it but I am losing track of how many workouts I've done or what I've been doing before lol. I'm going to try some stuff of your program!

old but gold

Hey man, stay strong. The things you're going through right now sounds like they could be transformative. It's hard to see once you're in it because it's uncomfortable and confusing. You don't need to understand everything you're going through right now but you'll make sense of things with some time, I'm sure of it. Journaling sounds like a great idea, might help you to structure your thoughts a bit and help make sense of the feelings. Make sure you drink enough water and eat some food, give the body what it needs. Make sure to let yourself rest properly and be with whatever arises when it does so.

Good job man!! You got more results than I had in months so you're clearly doing something right. You also already look like you're packing tons of muscle just based on your face(I think it may be your beard that gives you a bit of that strongman/viking vibe lol). What does your workouts look like, do you follow a plan or do it your own way? Going to the gym and running are 2 things I love. It's therapy for me. The increase in energy baseline is so valuable. Good luck with the future gains

Being, the Now, God, Eckhart uses all these words pretty synonymously in The Power of Now. He just doesn't use the word God often because he thinks it's a misunderstood word that comes with a lot of preconceptions and scares off the general public.

Hit the nail on the head.

Make sure that you're in a safe place while you're doing it(preferably at your home or at a trustable friends place). Make sure you feel pretty good on the day you're tripping. Dedicate the entire day to the trip, preplan by stashing up on food and different things you could need during the trip and the following couple of days so that you can rest the days after the trip. Have 2 days free to rest after the trip, because sometimes tripping can be a bit intense and make you tired afterwards. Make sure to drink enough water during the trip, it will help you recover better afterwards and keep you hydrated which makes you feel better. Follow your intuition during the trip as to what you want to do during the trip. You don't need to preplan the activies of the trip too much but you can just go with the flow. Maybe you'll find yourself wanting to watch some art online, then just go with the flow and try that out. Or you want to just lie down and think about life or feel your breath, then do that. Or you get an inclination to write a bit, then you can do that. Just don't do risky things like going out to the supermarket or something like this. Stay at a private place and do what you feel like doing at that specific time. You could start with an even lower dose, like 20-40 mcg, especially if you're doing it alone and it's your first time doing it. A dose like that is not going to cause much visual hallucinations or the classic LSD trip but will still alter your experience in a more subtle way and give you a small hint for what a bigger dose could feel like. But 75 mcg or even 100 mcg can work first time alone as well for some people, it's just that you can't know how you'll react to it the first time you take it and the power of LSD should not be underestimated. It can be a very intense experience for many people at such a dose, so be prepared for that. Do you have experience with any other drugs? Yes! This is one of my favorite things to do. It can be very beautiful.

Have some music & headphones at hand. It can be very beautiful to close your eyes and listen to some good music. And if things get intense music can help make sense of things by guiding you to see the beauty of life. As far as meditation goes, some technique you know how to do would be the best so you can just start meditating when you want to explore that. (Being aware of what is(your breath, body sensations, sounds, etc.) and letting things be as they are is a technique that works well for me on psychedelics.) You're afraid that the trip will show you how you think the world is and reinforce that. I think we project how we think the world is onto the world all the time, it's how you create the world. I think you being aware this could be the case is good so you don't delude yourself into thinking everything is in some way it isn't. But you probably don't need to worry about it too much. However, if you meditate or feel into your breath and body sensations you can let go of thoughts a bit and experience the trip more "as it is" and not as how you're thinking it is. If you're stuck in your thinking a lot it will direct your trip more and if you're more connected with your breath and body, being more mindful, the trip will manifest itself more as it wants to you. But there's no need to try and force things. If you're having a lot of thoughts and you feel it's pulling you with it you can just go with the flow and think a lot about life and stuff. It can be very eye opening. If it becomes too much you can always reconnect with your breath and surrender to the direct experience.

My advice would be, start trying to create & finish songs. It will expose your weaknesses as a producer, mixer, songwriter and composer, some things will go smooth and some things not so smooth. You will encounter things you don't know how to do but want to do and then maybe be forced to take a break in creating the song to try to figure out the production aspect of it, which technique/tool to use to be able to do what you wanted to do. You may also get stuck because you have a certain musical idea you can barely hear in your head for example and then when trying to find it on an instrument/midi editor you can't play it. When trying to figure it out you maybe had to learn to play a tricky rhythm or had to learn new chord voicings to be able to express the idea you had. In other words, when trying to create music you will run into different moments where you don't know exactly how to do the thing you're trying to do and then you'll be forced to figure things out. This would be a good way to identify useful things to know how to do and improve your capitol as far as music production/songwriting/composing skills go. What I like about this is that it's simple, just make music and spend a good amount of time and effort on doing so, learning by solving all different kinds of problems along the way. The obstacles you run into will be relevant for your learning and many of the problems you manage to solve will reappear in the future when you're making more music and then you will be better prepared and have solutions or ideas to pull from. The better you get the hang of things, the more nuanced the problems become. If you want to become good at making music in general just solving whatever problem you face that stop you from making the song how you want it to sound will make you well rounded, sometimes the mix sucks and needs to be worked on, sometimes the song doesn't flow well, sometimes you can't play the thing you want to record yet on your instrument etc. Sometimes there are problems that can't be easily fixed and then you'll be forced to get creative and work around them and find your own way of doing things. Sometimes our inability to play something makes us come up with something else. And maybe the new thing we came up with sounded better or was more personal somehow. You can learn a lot by making music and finishing it.

Rational Ability = 31 / 50 Rational Engagement = 30 / 50 Experiential Ability = 47 / 50 Experiential Engagement = 47 / 50 I think it makes sense considering that I'm an INFP according to MBTI tests online. I go more by intuition for sure. I think many people think they're more rational than they really are but in actuality they're going more by intuition than they think they do but rationalize their own decisions as they go to explain away their opinions or actions as being rational. Or maybe this is just me, lmao.

Sounds a lot like my own life. I'm not sure my mother is an INFP however, I don't understand mbti well enough yet to be able to know what either of my parents are. But my parents raised me to be a doormat, overly polite and kind to others, without them being conscious of it, of course. I had problems with standing up for myself for a long time. I became good at a lot of things that I needed to be good at to please everyone. Since I couldn't stand up for myself I learned to make everyone like me so I didn't have any potential conflicts, which is a valuable skill in a sense. But also emotionally exhausting and unhealthy when done all the time. I became really good at forming friendships, where being more passive and letting people have their way usually is appreciated in the beginning because being with me usually was just good vibes. But it didn't serve me so well at forming relationships, where it's not so attractive for a guy to be a doormat, too agreeable. I also became pretty good at manipulating people to make myself appear as they wanted me to appear. If a friend wanted to meet me and I rather wanted to be alone to process my feelings a bit i would say yes anyways because I was programmed to never say no if it made other people disappointed. Then I would meet my friend and put extra energy into it so that I could appear to be there really enjoying it so that my friend was satisfied. I've resolved most of these issues completely now but sometimes I find myself back in old patterns. Now I'm trying to understand my personality better by learning more about mbti because I like the model and it has been helpful to my understanding of how and why my life has unfolded as it has.

Well, it seems to me like he fell in love with you. It's not uncommon when a guy is talking with a girl for a long time. If you are sure you don't want the guy you should try to make that clear as soon as possible. You can simply tell him that you like him as a friend and nothing more than that and say that he is an amazing guy and whoever gets him will be lucky and that you would like to still be friends with him if he wants that, maybe something like that if you're close friends atleast, to give him a small confidence boost after the rejection. He probably keeps saying similar stuff today because you didn't give him a clear answer before and as long as he doesn't get a clear answer which makes him fully understand you're not interested he will always have some hope that you're secretly interested in him too, because he's a bit infatuated with you. You not responding should have made him understand honestly, but it's easy to say from my outsider perspective. It's harder when it's first person point of view and feelings are involved and you have been talking with someone for months. It's a tricky situation. But my bet is that rejecting him in some other way than silence is to be preferred if you want to try to save the friendship. I would also like to point out that a 17 year age gap and 1 on 1 talking for a year, as a guy it looks a lot like something that's about more than friendship. Of course a male to female friendship with 17 year age gap is not impossible. But it sure is pretty uncommon. I can easily see how the guy thought it was leading to something more eventually since the beginning and he was not sure because you didn't show that kind of interest. But then after talking for almost a year he finally decided he has to go for it and can't wait forever. This is just speculation though, it could also be that he first saw you as a friend and then got more interested as time went on. It's up to you and him if you can continue the friendship knowing that he probably has feelings for you.