BeHereNow

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About BeHereNow

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  • Birthday 01/01/1997

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  1. God awakened itself and became a spiritual teacher so it can further awaken itself again. It has no preference as to what guru it will appear as, whether that might be Christ, Leo, some monk in a cave or some homeless guy ranting incoherently. It's a loop that never ends.
  2. Dear you (someone who'll never read this), Yes, I understand you've had a rough upbringing and been through traumatic shit. Yes, I understand that your family are distant from you need them the most. Yes, I understand that you're really lonely and need a friend to be there. I completely understand why you're in the current situation you find yourself in and I can feel your pain. I know deep down you mean no harm to anyone, I know you have a heart of gold. But my friend, you are too much. I can't be your baby sitter everyday, I don't have the time or energy to do it. I don't find you that particularly interesting as a person, you don't really engage with me when the topic of discussion isn't about yourself and you don't respect my space or privacy at all. I tried being honest with you before, but you never like what I have to say. Any reason I give you'll try and work yourself back into my presence. You take my need for solitude as a personal insult. I can't be your friend. I wouldn't have minded being around if you respected my own time and space, but you don't. There's not enough time or patience to deal with you. I'm already busy sorting my own shit out, I don't need you around making things even more stressful. I'm not going to respond to your texts or calls anymore. Yeah I'm going to ghost you, it's a shitty thing to do and yeah I'm gonna feel bad about it. But I really don't want you or any other needy people in my life anymore and I'm not going to say sorry about that. In no uncertain terms, fuck off and leave me alone.
  3. Would it be possible for one to have lived in the very, very, very far future and then reincarnate in the modern day? After all if everyone throughout time is just an avatar of God then why would it matter what order you would reincarnate in? I ask this because I had a strange mystical experience quite a while ago I couldn't put into words until now. It was basically realising I was living in the very far future and past simultaneously, relative to people at the polar ends of history. The idea of a present has vanished for a time and it was like I was living in an era that was incredibly ancient. A lot of things at their core felt mysterious or even unknown at their core and I had this cheeky nihilist voice at the back of my head that kept reminding that all the movies I watched, the games I played, the music I listened to, all the history I know and all the people I've ever known will all be gone and forgotten. I didn't fall too far into the nihilist trap but it did shift my outlook on modernity considerably. Afterwards I started paying more attention to consumerism and marketing of all things from a more neutral point of view. Corporate logos, brands, mascots and even some aspects of meme culture began to feel more recognisable from places and times I've never known but nothing changed about them. Companies and brands are so good at making themselves so recognisable today that it wouldn't be out of the possibility that people still recognise what the McDonalds or Disney logos are when our civilization is all but forgotten. Could it be I was someone who lived in the very far future who seen the marketing that still survived and wondered, "what would it be like to be someone who lived in the times when people drank coca-cola?" I know fundamentally only I can answer the question, but is there any other accounts of people tapping into past lifes that occurred in the far future?
  4. I mean, if people weren't so worried about the near future we would have went extinct a very long time ago. Survival isn't a joke, none of us would be here if our ancestors weren't concerned about eating or keeping warm. Humans will still think the world will end in their lifetimes when we're colonizing the galaxy. It's in our nature to worry about the future. I wouldn't worry about it too much.
  5. I guess a part of my ego doesn't like the fact that I want to be a woman. It's something I've always struggled with. My mind will throw anything at my attention to dissuade me from transitioning, fears of rejection, discrimination and violence don't come from nowhere. It'll even try and convince me that I'm deluded and mentally ill, or that my supportive family are secretly ashamed of me. It doesn't help either that transgenderism is one of those hot button topics people love to have an opinion about, I'd be lying if I said the constant media sensationalism doesn't tire me. I guess all it got the better of me. I couldn't handle the stress of it all and I briefly went back to living as a male. Relatively speaking life is a lot easier and less stressful, no weird looks or being laughed at by strangers. Life then on would have been a lot easier, but it would have been a miserable one too. People like to say that the route cause of transgenderism lies deeper than just wanting to be the other gender and I assumed something traumatic or something in the brain that must have happened that pushed me to transition but honestly, I think the actual route cause of it is that I just want to be a woman. That's it. I don't want to be ashamed of myself anymore or wanting to be happy. No matter what anyone thinks, I know what's true. I forseen the rest of my life as a male and it would have been self-inflicted misery for no other reason than conformity. I deserve better than that. I'd rather be judged for being happy then accepted for being miserable.
  6. So I guess I'm having a spiritual come down from a long series of awakenings I had and now my mind is pointing towards making a change in my personal life. I've been out as a transgender woman for years now but if I'm being completely honest with myself I don't wanna be a woman at all. It's something I've had to think about for a long while and my life will be a less miserable if I just accepted what the universe gave me and just be a man instead defending some pipe dream narrative of becoming a woman. Love or hate them, conservatives have a point about not allowing kids to transition at a young age. I wish I knew the consequences when I first came out. You don't have to try to be a man, you already are one. No need to worry about gender or gender roles all the time, or how the outside world reacts to you. I just wanna be free from all of that bullshit. Also, I don't wanna call myself a lesbian for liking women. It's weird. I want to express my attraction towards women without feeling or being a creep about it. I wanna find that space to get good and getting girls to like me, I've managed to pull women before so I know if I put my heart and soul into it I know I'll find someone special. Tbh there's a lot of factors going into my decision to detransitioning but I'd be here all day.
  7. @Godishere God can still ask itself questions right? How else would it know itself?
  8. So, I've recently fully grasped what god/consciousness/love is and it's raised some interesting questions I'm curious about. 1 - In my materialist life, I came across spirituality after a long series of experimenting with different world views and ideologies. Atheism, both far-right and left persuasions, philosophy, deep nihilism, stereo typical new age stuff, even dabbled in Christianity and Islam. I've tried almost everything on my short time on Earth before discovering spirituality. So, all of that was an imagined path to awakening right? And if I can see it was an intelligently designed path then I'm actively constructing my past in the present? 2 - If this bubble is the only thing in existence, when I come across other awakened people are they aware they exist within me and not in their own bubble? Because if Leo Gura was awakened before "I" was, then some part of me knew what reality was deep, deep, deep down.
  9. Being selfless requires a level of creativity only a few people understand today, relatively speaking.
  10. I think much of the doom and gloom surrounding climate change comes from the fact that scientists still don't know how severe or not climate change will be, so to get enough funding for proper research some manipulation of people's existential fears probably wouldn't hurt. That's not to say climate change isn't a problem or that humans aren't causing it, you've got to remember everyone's got an world view they need to uphold, even climatologists.
  11. Everything is talking to itself about itself, out of pure love. There's really nothing to it when you go deep enough, both literally and figuratively.
  12. "You couldn't find joy, so you settled for pleasure." Something like that, I might be paraphrasing. I can't remember who said that but it's always resonated with me.
  13. @justfortoday I actually agree, I've had several more insights since then and I can see where I misinterpreted that.
  14. I still have grasp over this immense power, the will of reality and all things simply coming from my awareness. It's not going away like the previous awakenings and the feeling is amazing, beyond any concept of a human could feel. For the time being I'm going to detox and see how things go. I honestly don't think I need to have it anymore, but I won't deny myself pleasure for the sake of proving some point to someone, I'll have it when I really want it again. Could be a few weeks or months, who knows I'll probably never smoke it again. For the time being, I want a clear head and mind. Also saving money is nice and I was foolish for abusing it too much. I'm taking back my authority.
  15. I feel like I'm turning into ash and dust. My past awakenings were little cracks in the Berlin Wall, now it's just a matter of time when it all collapses and both east and west reunite, if there ever was a wall at all that is. The idea I had of myself was so limited and narrow I couldn't have ever imagined life was like this at all. You're absolutely everything, all one, across the universe. I mean, the entire universe. Everything you can possibly imagine. Once you're absolutely everything, everyone you've ever known and talked are gone. Even yourself. Sure, they're still technically around and so are you, but it's all imaginary. Your parents, siblings, nieces and nephews, friends, lovers, acquaintances, bosses, colleagues, your favourite celebrities, politicians, athletes, artists, historical figures, even the rest of the human race and the animal kingdom. People like yourself, people you would deem less worthy and even the very worse of society. Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Adolf Hitler, the Queen, Albert Einstein, The Beatles and even the traditional idea of God. Your perception of other people and even when you imagine life in their shoes. Even fictional characters and your imaginary friends, even when you imagine yourselves as them. They're all you deep down. It's all your imagination doing all of this, all Infront of you and behind your back, at all times and states. You can never cheat yourself out of it, it's here forever and you're the only one around. All of the worries, stresses and embarrassing moments from the past and from others never happened. But that applies to all the greatest times in your life too. It's all gone, it was all a dream. I don't realize how true that was until today. It's really emotional and bittersweet. I'm really taking to this cosmic love, it's I feel it everywhere.