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Everything posted by kamwalker

  1. The thing is even my most like minded friends don’t necessarily care about the realizations I have. Not everyone is ready to face certain truths at that particular point in their life. But you can use the truth to come through you and illuminate the friendships you do have in other ways.
  2. Single life can be very comfortable. But what's comfortable is also just what you are familiar with. Some can't stand the idea of not having a partner. Both states are good to experience as it gives you both perspectives. I don't see myself ever getting married (trying to create permanence doesn't end well in my opinion), but having a partner I can relate to on many levels that I can spend time with would be a good experience.
  3. Yeah it's pretty slow most of the time. I just give up and close the browser after a certain point
  4. The relative exists within the absolute. Mistaking the relative for the all absolute is where people get it wrong and gives them existential panic when this is challenged. When Leo says your mom does not exist this threatens the ego, but that's because you are still thinking of it from the point of view of you and not as You. Once one separates themselves from the identification constructed within the relative it brings great peace actually.
  5. The only thing that matters is the moment you are in right now. As you are reading this post. Don't think about the things you think you need to do to get to a certain place or time. In this moment feel however you need to feel and once you work through those feelings the answers about what to do next will start to become obvious. Making projections about who you are or what your future is a fruitless endeavor. Don't get caught up in that.
  6. I'm careful with how I absorb content these days since there is so much of it. While I resonate with much of what Leo speaks about I try to stop frequently to question it instead of just nodding in agreement. Regardless of absolute truth we still have to go back to living in practical reality where spiritual knowledge can damage you here if you don't apply it correctly. As such I also listen to as many people as I can to prevent the mind from attaching and assigning too much value to one source.
  7. Truth can be terrifying. Shattering everything you've constructed up until this point is not something most people want to acknowledge. I don't think I am ready for that yet either otherwise I would be conscious of it right now in this very moment.
  8. The Last of Us Series series is absolutely amazing. I don’t play a lot of games, but those games completely sucked me in. The second one was even better. I couldn’t understand the negative feedback.
  9. I think they are immensely helpful, but I don’t feel I necessarily “need” them anymore. They were great to propel me to where I’m at now, but my last few trips have left me feeling like i am at peace with where I’m at and can now explore consciousness without them. But if you haven’t had much experience with them I think you’ll find they will catapult you past a lot of the issues newbies encounter with spirituality in the beginning.
  10. I basically listened to the first one 5 hours straight as I had a long drive to make, but it was so enjoyable time flew.
  11. Eckart Tolle actually says women are naturally closer to enlightenment than men:
  12. I don't use Snapchat much anymore, but I was curious to see what this guy said so I looked for the video. I get a kick out of the everyday person's reaction to things beyond materialism Not sure if it's the just the nature of how these Snapchat videos are, but it's one of your typical biased editing videos where he shows clips of Leo talking and then taking things he said out of context in order to prove his point. He also refers to 5-Meo having a high potential for abuse as it is a schedule 1 substance which is just ridiculous. Nothing much to see here. Just another typical person who is too sure of themselves to be opened minded enough to explore something beyond what they think they know. I don't blame him or judge him for that, I would have probably reacted in a similar way if psychedelics hadn't opened my mind up to other possibilities.
  13. Semi-old thread but I'm going to give my take on nitrous as I have a fair amount of experience and experimentation with it (3+ years of use, typically do 100-250 carts in a sitting at a time while using psychedelics). Was doing this about once a month at my peak. Fully aware of the dangers. Most of the risks are from frequency of use rather than volume. Speaking strictly for myself I have not experienced any noticeable lasting damage from it. Not saying this is the norm what will happen with you. I would not advise anyone to experiment with it in the way I have. I might potentially see health defects years from now, who knows. By itself it loses its magic very quickly. However once combined with a psychedelic it will catapult you into a level of consciousness at a rate far faster than any other drug I have used. People that claim it has no value because of how short lived it is are saying this off the premise of only doing 5-10 of them at a time. Once you get up into the 50-100 range it transforms into something entirely different. Combining LSD, MDA, and nitrous in this fashion was by far the most intense and beautiful psychedelic experience of my life. The dissociative properties rip away any attachment to your objective self so abruptly it is almost frightening. Oneness is felt so rapidly it borders on ruining all your psychedelic experiences after because you sort of always have this feeling that you know what it is missing when you don't use it. I like to say that whatever dose of substances you are doing, nitrous essentially doubles or triples that dose for a period of time. I actually really enjoy doing it in this fashion as I can somewhat control the intensity of the experience. I would recommend someone just not get into it at all though if you aren't already deep in. Not only is not the safest it is really expensive.
  14. MDMA therapy would help a lot with the fear of intimacy and lack of vulnerability
  15. Casual drinking is so accepted now that a lot of people aren’t even aware of what’s driving them to drink in this way in the first place. I have friends who want to drink everyday and will get completely trashed on the weekends. The need to do that goes away when you are content with your life. The alcohol is simply being used to mask anxieties and problems in your life. I have yet to meet a healthy, balanced person who drinks every day. Even one glass of wine EVERYDAY is a problem in my eyes. You have to confront what is bothering you on a deeper level, not ignore it.
  16. Absolutely! It's a very rewarding pursuit that makes me feel fucking incredible at the end of a case that I nailed. Meditation has helped me immensely actually as presence is critical any time you're cutting on someone. No time for anything else in that moment. With that said it is obviously very stressful too.
  17. I am a newly practicing surgeon. I started exploring spirituality and consciousness more over the last few years after gaining interest through various experiences in the years prior to that. As I have gone deeper into it and exploring this different path it inevitably got me to start questioning whether this type of pursuit would mesh well with the medicine lifestyle and whether the time I spent to get to this point was worth it as the sheer amount of hours you must dedicate to it strips away much of the time you can allocate to other endeavors. It has caused a fair amount of confusion within me and I have had to continually question it all and if it is possible to truly let go and awaken while still having to deal with healthcare bureaucracy and the stress of cutting someone open. Wondering if anyone here can relate to this on some level or has any insight.
  18. I think so too. Something in me keeps telling me to go deeper into it despite the apprehension I feel about how it will conflict with my current job. Agreed! Despite the dilemma I don't regret going down this path. 1) I have definitely recognized how toxic the medicine system can be, particularly in residency where abuse is simply brushed off. You're correct about my ego having difficulty with the idea of dropping it all together because of the time and effort investment while not having an alternative course at the time. I don't think I'm ready to detach quite yet especially since I am newly minted, but it's something to consider. 2) Thanks for the reference, I absolutely will check out his stuff as I have had a very hard time finding colleagues who aren't caught up in the rat race. It is nice to know there's at least one other person out there who somehow made it work. I think that's more manageable for the time being. I will never blow off the spiritual pursuit now that I'm on it, but enlightenment just might not be in the books for now. That's a great way of putting it. Most of us have something going on that will seem to always get in the way of the journey, so waiting for the "perfect" time may not ever happen. The best we can do is stay present with whatever it is we're doing at the time even if the objective life situation doesn't seem ideal.
  19. I bought a PS4 a few years ago. For the most part I don't touch it, but there have been a few games that did a very good job of pulling me in (The Last of Us series, God of War). I find there is just way too many other things I'd rather spend my time on that are more fulfilling than video games. I don't think doing only one thing could give me the type of life I'd enjoy.
  20. Being present enough to appreciate the fuck out of nearly everything I encounter that day to the point I’m giddy. This usually happens when I get sufficient alone time with fewer distractions
  21. Agreed. Some of my best psychedelic trips came about when I completely let go of expecting any sort of experience and resulted in feeling bliss and euphoria on levels that were so incredibly powerful in my body that it almost felt unfair. I like reading and watching videos about all of this stuff, but sometimes I find myself digging too much or even just trying to digest too much at a time and is no longer enjoyable. I get back to the basics once I notice that happening.
  22. How did it really change your life though?
  23. But why does this matter? Who cares if we are just consciousness imagining sleep, eating, fucking? Being conscious of the illusion does not feel impactful to the present moment to me.