Something Funny

@Leo Gura sorry if I am being stuborn. But from the way I see it 20 minutes won't be of a much higher quality for me than 3 hours. If anything I will treat it much more flippantly if I do it as a little 20 minute side thing compared to if I make it my sole focus for the next 3 months. And it's not like I have never meditated before. I did, using exactly this strategy of meditating 5, 10, 20 minutes per day along with a dozen other self-help practices and goals. And I believe this is a big reason why it has never stuck with me or brought any lasting changes. What I expect to happen is that yeah, it will be really hard and I will sit there dying for 3 hours a day. But if I make it through it will change my life.

@Leo Gura well, as long as I am not hearing any better alternatives I guess I am going to try. Better trying and failing or finding out that it doesn't work then wasting another 3 months of my life doing nothing. Right now I want to do just classic 90 days of it. I am kind of desperate if you couldn't tell, lol. I think you could do that if you felt your life depends on it. Edit: I am going to start a journal here, just watch me

Idk, I've been watching your channels as well as other for years, I've read various books and couldn't find anything that would consistently help me. I've been struggling with this forever now. Sometimes getting better and then getting even worse than before. So the only plan I have right now is to try to purge and rewire my mind with a hardcore practice like this and hope that it works. If I do a "strong determination sitting" and a "do nothing" technique than I just need to show up everyday and sit there motionless, right? As long as I have enough discipline to show up and sit there for 3 hours, it should be effective, no?

@Leo Gura my problem is that I feel like my mind is fucked up and because of that I can't function in life properly. My emotional mastery is really low. I struggle with anxiety, loneliness, depression, addictions. I am incredibly inconsistent and drop most of the goals that I set. I procrastinate my days away watching tv shows and scrolling reddit as an escape. You get the picture.

@Michal__ thanks for advise. I am still thinking which way to go and I will take this into consideration.

But that's what I want. I want to suffer and burn through all the crap inside of myself. @Carl-Richard thank you. I actually avoided watching that video for a very long time now. I think I should. And hopefully I can also transform myself as well through this process.

@Michal__ i am not sure what vipassana is. My plaan was to do a strong determination sitting with a do nothing technique and that's it. Trying to observe whatever is happening without controlling it.

@Carl-Richard can you share your story, please?

@Thought Art have you ever tried doing strong determination sitting while tripping? Do you think there are any benefits to this?

I struggle from occasional hits of anxiety, depression, and motivation issues. Nothing too crazy but it does impact my quality of life and productivity a lot. So the question is: should I keep trying to just push through it on my own and work on developing basic emotional mastery or should I try microdosing (I have mushroom in mind at the moment) to help myself out? My concern is that I don't want it to become a crutch for me where I will stop being functional without them. Especially since you can't take them every day. I don't want to have a situation where I takse mushrooms and feel great for a day, and then waste the next one.

@player1995 good question. I guess I have thiss ego thing where I always want to achieve everything the hard way. Like in this case, solve all of my mental problems without the help of any substances. So my mind turns it into one vs another basically. Either I am totally dependent on microdosing or I am going at it completely sober. Which is kind of dumb, haha

@Thought Art thanks a lot for sharing. I will try this routine tonight

@Thought Art Why qigong specifically? I've asked similar questions before but what is so special about it?

@Jannes I already have mushrooms so it's the easiest way for me I think. Do you think that if I use microdosing while socializing I will be able to use this reference experience to then act the same way all the time?

That's good to hear. A few mpr questions. How long does it last? If I take it in the morning, will it affect me for the whole day? What dosage do you think I should start with? No No Not always, but I am working on it. Why?

@Flowerfaeiry did having elevated states of consciousness help you in any way to function better in your day to day life? Like be more productive, creative, etc.? @Jannes thank you for advise. It depends on the day, but usually my emotions are not that dramatic so I guess it should be okay. @Thought Art but I am not talking about full trips, just microdosing. Actually, me not being able to do regular full trips anymore is another concern that I haven't raised as those are also really valuable, and ideally I would like to dp both. Maybe getting my hands on some other substance that doesn't have cross tolerance with mushrooms could be a solution. @Thought Art @Jannes but my biggest worry is, as I said, me turning it into a crutch. Where I am a "super productive, creative, charisma machine" when microdosing and then feel helpless when I am sober. Is this a real possibility? I would like to have those gains that I get while microdosing to transfer into my sober state eventually. But I don't know if that's possible.

Also, another question I have is: Will they even help me for the whole day? If a mushroom trip lasts for about 4-5 hours, I assume microdose will also stop working after that time, no?

Thanks, it worked

@The Mystical Man I was about to write the following:

@The Mystical Man oh fuck, I just got it

At some point I thought there was going to be some moral of the story. But no, it's just pure randomness

@The Mystical Man what did I just watch, lol

In this book there are 3 stages of telling the Truth. The first stage is telling facts: basically coming out about your past lies and secrets. However, examples that he uses are basically things that his clients are actually ashamed of and that affect their mental health in a bad way. Like cheating on your spouse for example. Of course a secret like that can potentially rot you out from the inside. But what about secrets and lies about things that are not necessarily bad? For example, when I was going to the Netherlands for studying a few years ago my dad made me promise to him that I won't use any drugs and I said "yes", even though I knew that I will want to experiment psychedelics. A few years passes, and this topic got raised in a casual conversation once again, and I basically said that I didn't try any, even though it was a lie. The thing is: I am not ashamed of using psychedelics. I still use them and plan to use them even more in the future for personal development (which is once again a secret that I am supposed to open up about according to the book). I believe that it's not my problem that he is so close minded about this topic. And I think that I have every right to hide this fact from him because in my opinion he will not be able to handle the truth in a healthy way and because I don't believe that he earned this level of trust from me. But I still feel bad about lying to him. And I have to admit that part of the reason for hiding this is simply because I am afraid and not because of some righteous reason. And a lie is a lie no matter how you look at it. So I don't know, should I come clean about it or not? @Leo Gura, you are the biggest Truth advocate here so any advise, please?

But isn't it much more conditional, and therefore less real, though? For example, I have a hard time believing that my dad would still love me if I turned out to be gay or decided to become trans female.

@Yimpa thank you, I will try it )