Something Funny

I don't. I just feel bad and have nothing better to do. Sorry.

I am getting it! But what I am trying to say is that even if it is "ultimately true" it is not treated like the same thing in practice and it is unhelpful to the op. You can hug a person you barely know, like a colleage at work, and it will be totally fine. You can't just try to fuck them all of a sudden as a farewell thank you! I am saying that it is not helpful to the op because what does it matter to him that ultimately they are the same thing? He has an insecurity which is irrational, yes. But all insecurities are irrational. They don't magically stop existing because somebody tells you that your worry is bullshit. He even says himself that logically he knows that it is stupid, but still can't stop being bothered by it.

@Salvijus anyway, I disagree with what you are saying the way you are saying it but don't take me to seriously. I am just in a bad mood. Sorry if I sounded offensive.

I don't support his comment

It's more connected to what you said than what you said is connected to op's issue. To me you are just trying to sound very high and spiritual by lumping everything together and adding "ultimately" to it. Might have as well added murdering kittens to the list since "ultimately, everything is a different expression of the same thing". So, like I said, if you are so spiritual, why don't you go and show it on practice? What you are doing is a disservice to spirituality and isn't helpful at all.

@Salvijus would you walk the talk and agree to be hugs only for the rest of your life? No sex, just hugs

*she politely shitted on him

Why don't you just date a virgin if it bothers you so much? Problem solved, no need to have those internal struggles with yourself anymore.

I love pornofilmy ❤️

Something amazing happened a day before yesterday but somehow I only getting to journaling about it now. There were 2 separate issues that I was dealing with. First of all, I had my first coaching session with Ali, from the Perception Trainers, in the beginning of July. It was really nice and helped me a lot. My only concern was that I couldn't really afford having them regularly without sacrificing other things in my life. Then I've remembered telling someone who was in a similar situation that they should go and ask their parents to give them money for therapy/coaching. I started to wonder if I should actually follow my own advise, I was thinking that it was a good/bad idea on and off for a few weeks. I've had a few concerns: 1. I would tell myself that it's not okay for me to get money from my parents and that I should achieve everything on my own. 2. I was worried that if I ask them for money for a therapy, they will think that something is wrong with me and will be worried themselves. 3. In case they gave me money, I was was afraid that they will start poking their noses into it too much, ask me what I am talking about, how is my progress, etc. Second issue I was struggling with was a question of how do I lead a normal life where I can balance being social, dating, my career, personal development, and other stuff. Previously, I thought that I should first find my life purpose, start a business, earn a lot of money, and then I can have a relationship, socialize and have fun. Well, I've realized that this is a shitty plan and that it is not going to work. I've even made a post about it here asking if I should ignore my finances and career for a while and just focus on dating. But soon enough I've started thinking that this idea is also not that great and why the hell I can't just do everything at once like a normal person. ... So what happened was that in the evening of the same day when I've made this post my dad decided to have a "heart to heart" talk with me while we went for a walk. And wow, it went unexpectedly nice. He asked me why I am not dating anyone and what are my thoughts / plan regarding relationships. I guess I felt a bit more open then usual so I've decided to actually engage in the conversation instead of just shrugging it off as I would usually do. I obviously wasn't going to just drop all my worries, fears, and limiting belief on him just like that so I've decided to share something relatively "chill" that I was worried about. So I've said something along the lines of "it's hard to think about having a relationship when you are living paycheck to paycheck". And, well, my dad was very supportive and basically told me that this fear is bullshit and shouldn't stop me from dating and having relationships. How money doesn't matter if you find the right person. He also said that it not true that you cannot achieve career and personal life success at the same time and told me that having a relationship, getting a wife, starting a family was a thing that helped him to get serious about life and to achieve financial success and without it he probably woudn't amount to much. First of all, it was really empowering to hear something like this from my dad because he was basically a badass at my age so I knew that he knows what he is talking about. Secondly, I was really excited/surprised to see how the topic I was thinking about on my own just randomly came up in a conversation with my dad. Then the conversation shifted to other topics like money and how our mind is able to manifest things that we want in life (it was really interesting to hear about it from my dad's perspective). Then, we somehow started talking about therapy and how it helped my dad with some of the issues he was struggling with after covid. And also how he would have regular sessions with some fortune teller / mystic woman when he was younger, which was also basically like a therapy for him. So long story short it came down to my dad himself offering to pay for whatever therapy I need and saying that he knows a great person for it. But I was like "oh, I was actually thinking about it myself and have someone in mind", haha. Once again it was really cool to see something that I was thinking about randomly come up. #Everything_Is_Connected Then we finished of with some talk about how we are all one family and how I can always count on their support, especially when it comes to things like health, education, etc., it was very sweet To sum things up, this happened very randomly, and now all of a sudden I feel much more confident, loved, empowered, and positive about my life. And I am going to have 2 coaching sessions per month with Ali, starting in August, which is just amazingly cool

@Roy yeah, I know. That's why I am trying to tell him that there is nothing to be jealous about. @Valach you actually seem to be doing way better than her.

Yeah, but I mean... She didn't go out and find some great new guy. She settled for some random 21 year old kid who was already around even though she doesn't like him because she probably couldn't bear being alone for a while. And now she has been stuck with him for half a year, lol. That's half a year wasted. That's what I am talking about. Doesn't sound very jealousy inducing to me. Sounds kind of sad. Where are all those lines of great men waiting to date her?

@Valach @Roy I don't get what is there to be jealous about? She didn't move on an couldn't find a partner who satisfies her and has to settle for some random guy who used to be her friend. Because, despite of what Roy said above, she doesn't have a line of guys wanting to date her? Like she had literally been stuck with a random guy who she shits on for half a year. What is there to be jealous about? Imagine cheating on a guy, complaining how much he sucks, and then going and doubling down on a relationship with him. Besides it being a shitty thing to do morally, it is also such a loser move, lol.

@Roy I love your advise, you sound very grounded

She doesn't sound like a catch either.

I am home ????

For the longest time I thought that I must first figure out my career and life purpose, start earning a lot, and then I could focus on fixing my lack of socialization and relationships. Kind if like Leo did it. But the thing is, I think I am just using this as an excuse because I am really afraid of addressing this part of my life: being social, going to parties, doing pickup, having relationships, etc. So I conveniently tell myself that I must focus on something else first. Because what I have is not enough. If you think about it, focusing on some massive career success first and dating second doesn't even make much sense. Lack of socialization and romantic relationships, as well as my low confidence, social anxiety, lack communication and social skills is bugging me much more than me not being a millionaire or me not having a life purpose. And it feels like a much more urgent need to fulfil. Even Maslow's Pyramid says that love and belonging go prior to career accomplishments and wealth. And I feel like if I got this thing sorted, I would be able to be much more successful in my career as well, not only because of the confidence boost and better social skills, but also because this issue won't be constantly bugging and distracting me anymore. The biggest reason why I feel like I need to achieve carrier success so urgently in the first place is because I feel like it is delaying my social life. What if I skipped this step completely for now. I won't be too old to start a business at 27, but I might miss out on a lot of socialization experiences by then. However, the problem is that I am super scared to make this decision and actually start working on my social life. It feels overwhelmingly hard and terrifying.

@Thought Art wow, that's awesome. I am really happy for you

@Thought Art ok, thanks a lot

@Thought Art I see. How are the meetings organised. Do you prepare something before one, or do you just go and improvise?

@Thought Art wow, that's really cool. I've actually done some climbing myself in the past. And I've considered joining toastmasters but I am too afraid. How do the meetings usually look? also, did you manage to get any friends or relationships from climbing/salsa/toastmasters?

@Leo Gura I honestly wonder why I can't just do it all at the same time. Normal people seem to be able to do so. My parents did that. My grandparents did that. Why can't I do it?

@Lila9 thank you for advise, especially about money. It's nice to hear a girl's perspective. Yes, I have a stable job but I am basically living paycheck to paycheck. And I also wanted to invest some money into coaching/therapy and other stuff for myself.

@Leo Gura I knooow. I just wanted to get a confidence boost

@Jacob Morres insteresting, thanks. I think I need to slow down and do things gradually, and do both. Idk.