tlowedajuicemayne

I feel like a guide needs to exist that points out the key differences between psychotic breaks, schizophrenic episodes, serious mental illness issues, etc...vs awakening experiences. Maybe I'm wrong but I read some stuff on this forum sometimes and i immediately think to myself- this person thinks he's awakening but he really needs to go see a professional because he's having serious psychotic issues and is having delusions about those breaks. Could you make a video about this, or maybe comment on it?

Anything by Hazy.

if you want to drop out of high school, fine- go get your GED. You don't have to go through all of highschool, if you're smart enough to take the GED test and pass it, you should do it and get on with your life.

until you have direct experience of 'not existing', discard your thoughts and opinions about it and handle the things in life that you need to handle dude. If something needs to be fixed, fix it.

The best way to be direct and articulate (In my experience) is to speak from your genuine direct experience. For example- if you learned an instrument and someone asked you how you learned it, you would have no issue being clear and direct in your answer about that. This is because you are pulling from your direct experience of a thing, and not your thoughts about a thing. When you try to speak about something of which you have no direct experience, it tends to come out in an insecure way.

Speaking from my own experience here. I spent years eating up all the knowledge I could find on spirituality, psychology, listening to long form talks, etc. For a while it fulfilled me in some way but eventually I started to hunger for something deeper. Get in touch with life, thats the deepest way to learn!

it's such a dumb example. If you were in Detroit you wouldn't be here asking questions. @Leo Gura lol my man leo woke up and chose violence hahahahahah

Paying 600 bucks to do what you can do for free is foolish. You can sit down on your cushion, right now, and begin practicing for free. Also, there is no such thing as an 'enlightenment intensive'. There are meditation retreats and psychedelic retreats but 'enlightenment intensive' is a completely made up term. Spirituality, like religion, has parts of it that prey on the naïve and what you're talking about here is one of those places. You do not need to spend 600 bucks for a 3 day online meditation retreat. Enlightenment is not something that is going to happen in 3 days, or 3 weeks, or even 3 lifetimes for some people. The best thing you can do at this point is find a zen teacher that is close to you (even if its a long drive), who is a part of a proven zen lineage and go to this Teacher and ask for practice instruction. It is worth a long drive, it is a worth a short flight if necessary. The early days of your practice are critical because if you do not find good information in these times, you will spend years going around in circles chasing your tail. Goodluck

Not trying to be rude here, but repeating experiences you know don't work for you and are negative doesn't make any sense. Especially if you're lost in despair and depression like you say you are. I can't tell you what to do here but if you are truly is a state of constant despair, it may be time to sit down and really take an audit of your life. Your diet, your routines, your friends, your thought patterns, etc. Odds are, if you're willing to go get another tarot reading even though you've had profoundly negative experiences in the past with tarot, you're probably doing this in other areas of your life too. Returning again and again to the very demons that torture you. Really sit down and get specific about the things you KNOW perpetuate this state of despair and stop returning to those things in your life. Take a stand and cut them off completely. I would recommend having a therapist walk through this process with you. Therapy can really help if you're truly open to letting yourself be helped. Anyways, goodluck!

I don't know. I don't think that its skillful to turn to internet forums for things like this. There's too much mental illness disguised as spirituality here if I'm honest. When you say 'lose control' what do you mean by this exactly? Also, when you say that you had a spontaneous awakening, what do you mean by this? Given what you've written here- It might be time to go and visit an experienced Teacher who is familiar with the territory of what you're going through. This way you can get some guidance on what to do next, or if these experiences are spiritual in nature at all. It could be possible that you're experiencing mental illness of some sort which could be causing this. I'm no expert but I can say for sure that before you continue going down the road you're going down- you might want to go out of your way to be 1000% sure that what you're experiencing is in fact what your ego thinks its experiencing and not some sort of psychotic break. Like I mentioned earlier, there is a ton of mental illness disguised as spiritualty here on Actualized.org, and many other forums. Taking spiritual advice from anyone online is gambling with your mental health and your sanity. Go and see someone who has traversed this territory, and maybe put a stop to all spiritual practices that aren't basic breath practices or mindfulness practices until you've visited such a teacher who can determine whether or not what you're experiencing is in fact kundalini and not some sort of psychotic or other mental issue.

One of the problems I had early on in my spiritual path was finding a Teacher. Use this to weed out the insincere teachers from the ideal ones- 'You will know when you've found a ideal Teacher because the Ideal Teacher gets no pleasure out of you following his Teachings or not. This is because the ideal Teacher gets all of his pleasure out of following his own Teachings.'

Not trying to be a dick but maybe you should try it with a therapist first. Trying to work through your shadow parts all by yourself and under the influence of something else just seems rather naïve to me. Don't under estimate the reality of your shadow and don't take this process for granted by merely jumping in without a parachute. Once you bring the light of consciousness to something within yourself, you can't merely turn it off again and rest. You have to go all the way through it and integrate it. Don't assume that everything in the shadows is there arbitrarily, its in the dark for a reason. Go see a professional who can help you do this work in a healthy way and once you get the gist, then maybe do it own you own. Sober.

@Leo Gura that sounds great and I would totally do that...if I had any idea what you meant by it at all.

I can't say whether it was awakening or not, only you could know that. What I can say for sure is that whatever it was, it has left you deeply confused. You could spend a lifetime trying to understand your past but you'd never get to the bottom of it truly, because it is gone. What is here right now on the other hand, can be investigated by you to no end and you can get to the bottom of it! I can't tell you what to do but perhaps it would be more fruitful to investigate the latter.

@TruthSoldier IME Practice is not about becoming like stone. It is not about achieving stillness and remaining in it or becoming non-reactive or becoming distinguishable from any other human being. Good Practice is dynamic and responsive, it is not stiff and lifeless. If your practice is getting stiff and lifeless, then you may want to take a break and try not actively practicing for a while etc. See how your practice holds up when you aren't sitting. Thats what helped me atleast. Take some time and go enjoy the world, get back in touch with your body and your social skills. Enlightenment will be there for you when you're ready. Until then, take it easy

Man I can 100% relate to you on this. I hope you don't mind if I give you some advice I wish someone would have gave me when I was going though this kind of thing. This sounds a bit like you're spiritually bypassing. Meaning that there are large areas in your life that you are under-developed in and you're avoiding facing them by diving into some existential quest. I 100% could be wrong here but I'm just giving my face value assessment after reading your article. I would recommend taking a break from what you think is spirituality and focus on dominating short term practical goals as well as beginning to see a therapist who can help you uncover some of these areas in your life you're not willing to face. The numbness and the deidentification, as well as the anxiety is probably emerging as an effect of your bypassing. This tends to happen when we reject or ignore our true desires, intentions, feelings, etc. Anxiety, depersonalization, depression etc. all emerge because we have dissociated from our bodies. This is quite common for spiritual practitioners to do because a lot of us get into spirituality as a means to 'escape'. But the truth is that there is no escape man. Reality is in your face and it isn't going anywhere. If you think that what you are going through is some kind of awakening, this is NOT true and you should discard any ideas like this because thoughts like this only perpetuate your current condition. Also acknowledge, then ignore any thoughts similar to the ones you listed above- I feel so disconnected from myself, I am numb and can't feel emotions, etc...all of these thoughts are lies and only serve to perpetuate and aggravate this unpleasant situation you find yourself in. So yeah, short term practical goals- start dominating those. Start running towards those problems. This will give you your power back. Stop the existential quest and focus on fixing your life. Find work, get out of your parents place, get a girlfriend, make friends, etc. But don't continue to go down this existential rabbit hole until you're at a place in your life where you've developed a strong and healthy ego, you've exhausted your worldly desires, and you have a true desire to learn the Truth. Otherwise you'll spend years going round and round in circles. Hope this helps!

I put a tab and a half of blotter under my tongue and waited. I sat on my zazen cushion facing the wall with my eyes lowered, breathing deeply. I felt shaky, as if energy was surging through me that would let me sit still comfortably. The come up hadn't even begun yet but the anxiety was already high. A tab and a half of this particular batch of LSD was the most I'd ever done, and on top of that these tabs were the strongest I'd ever faced. The come up came on strong and swift. I found myself getting higher and higher. Each level higher bringing about its own fear. Each time I would break through into a higher level of consciousness, I would think to myself 'there's nothing higher than this' and it was only then that it would dawn on me that I was breaking through to yet an even higher dimension. I eventually got off of my meditation cushion and sat down on my bed. It was early afternoon. I quickly glanced out the window to try and ground myself but I couldn't ground myself in physical reality. A revolution was taking place within me, The LSD wasn't about the let me ignore it. I tried to play music to keep me calm but any form of music felt distasteful so I opted out of music. My heart raced, and raced, the fear got more and more intense. I shifted my position to a seated position where my back was leaning against the wall and my feet extended in front of me. I was facing the window and I looked out at the tree's and I noticed that they were no longer tree's. The leaves had taken the shape of geometric patterns that extended deeply into my visual field. I felt fear because I realized that reality was now radically different than it had ever been but I put the fear out of my mind pretty quickly by surrendering as deeply as I could to the experience that was unfolding before my eyes. An energy rushed through my body, like a rapidly flowing river. The river flowed through all of the objects in the room and then to the center of the universe. As the current got stronger, I began to feel a slight pull at my ego. Stronger and stronger it pulled at my ego until I finally let it go. It was so uncomfortable at first to feel my sense of self be pulled away and then tossed into oblivion. It had happened to me before in other psychedelic experiences but it’s a feeling I don't think I'll ever get used to. Anyhow, I realized that I existed without any sense of identity or self. I sat there on my bed, totally nobody. The revolution going full speed within me capturing the majority of my attention. What was the revolution? I couldn't tell, it was too much for my mind to comprehend. As the current of the river got even stronger, I suddenly became one with it. Like a small bubble merging into a larger bubble. I flowed (as the cosmic river) through all the objects in my room and into my cat which was sitting on the window sill. I flowed into my cats tail and waved it. As the revolution within me was dying down in intensity, I began to realize that I was reaching the peak of the experience. I got off my bed and walked downstairs to sit on the couch. The TV was on but I was too preoccupied with my inner state to even notice the outside world very much. I sat on the couch looking at nothing really. My full attention wrapped up in my deep inner state. I felt myself begin to approach madness as I became less and less responsive to the outside world. I was leaving the outside behind entirely and diving deeply within myself. I no longer heard sounds in the room or outside, no longer smelled the air, or felt my body temperature, etc. I let go completely into the beyond. As the last parts of my outside attention began to slip away a feeling that I might never come back washed over me, but I didn't fear it very much. I simply let go into the beyond. My thoughts became more and more irrelevant as I went deeper into my mind. My intellect became like a mosquito. Landing on different parts of the experience trying to suck out any meaning, philosophy, wisdom that it could take back with it into the egoic mind. I was so conscious however that I didn't care that it operated in this way. Large portions of my mind which (I realized) are normally shrouded in darkness or unconsciousness, had now become fully conscious. Where normally the intellect would take up quite a bit of conscious real estate, it was no longer large enough to even capture 1% of my full attention. I was deep in my own mind and with that depth came a great compassion for all life. I saw the landscape of my mind like the stars speckled across the night sky. The darkness of space being the unconscious parts of my mind, and the little specks of light were the conscious sides of my mind. As I went deeper into my mind, there was less and less dark space and more and more light. I began to approach schizophrenia. I saw it coming as I let go into my mind more and more. My conscious attention panicked and then rushed back to see what my body was doing in the physical world. It was like swimming to the top of the pool to make sure the waves were still okay. I immediately realized the futility of such a task. My body was sitting there, starring at the wall to my left, hands in my lap. The TV was on, the AC was running, the house was quiet. I felt the tug to turn inward pull my attention back away from my body and deep into my mind again. I felt myself entering schizophrenia yet again but I didn’t try to stop it this time. The part of my mind which gave things meaning was now under my full conscious control. I was ascribing the deepest of meaning to everything in my experience, even the smallest things were imbued with cosmic levels of meaning and purpose. There was no part of my experience 'inner or outer' that I wasn't consciously making blissful. I gave everything so much depth and meaning that I could hardly handle the beauty I'd made. I felt like a grape that was so ripe it could pop at any moment, releasing the sweetest of juices. The deeper I went into the schizophrenia the more images of my family discovering me starring absent mindedly at the wall began to play in my mind. Visions of my family crying at my bedside as I was completely unresponsive played in my mind. For a moment I grieved the loss of my normal self but just as I began to feel too sad I dropped all human emotions and became something cosmic. Something impersonal. I was now so deep in my mind that I was no longer aware of physical reality, sounds, smells, taste, touch. I was no longer even aware of emotions, or thoughts either. I found myself in the center of the universe as the center of the universe. I was no longer a human being at this point. I no longer cared whether or not I ever came back to my senses. The feeling of cosmic bliss was so deep that it fulfilled me completely. If I had died in this very spot, I would have been okay with that. Nothing mattered at all. I saw that there were no mistakes in the universe, no evil. I nonchalantly witnessed the beginning of man kind. Millions of human beings sitting cross legged on the ground. All of the human beings, animals, and insects serving no other purpose than to be sensors from which I observe myself from within myself (as the universal). I witnessed the first human hug, the first dance, the first song, the first death and murder. All of this pleased me to no end. I wasn't to keen on watching human history long however, or even cosmic history. I knew everything that existed in the cosmos, nothing was a surprise to me. One thing captured my attention more than anything else though- The fact that I was aware. I couldn't stop marveling at the fact that I was aware. Because I was aware, I generated nothing but Love. This was the most obvious thing to do. I generated love, love, love as the universe itself. I didn't spend long in this schizophrenic state, I felt my ordinary consciousness begin to come back as the parts of my mind which were now well lit began to go dark again. I felt my emotions start to come back, then my thoughts, then my visual field came back online, then my smell, taste, touch, and body consciousness. I shifted myself in my chair to appear more normal in case anyone walked in and saw me. I realized then that my ego had also began to resurface. I thought to myself- ''so that's what schizophrenia is….wow. I do not fear that.'' I got up from the couch and walked over to the small bathroom on the far left corner of the living room. As I walked on the carpet I realized that the carpet was bearing the weight of my body. I saw that the carpet was conscious and was feeling me walk across it. I tried to walk gently and calmly as not to cause it any unnecessary suffering. I then noticed that all the inanimate objects around me were fully conscious just like I was. Inside of each thing was a deep inner experience. I flicked the light switch with great care, I used the bathroom with great care, and closed the door without slamming it. Everything had intense cosmic meaning. Meaning was shining brightly from every single being in the room. I was no longer seeing the living room as the living room, I was seeing it as Living Eternity. I went into the kitchen and saw an orange on the counter. I picked it up and looked at it closely. I realized that what I normally referred to as 'the peel' was actually not a 'peel', it was skin. The same kind of skin that I have on my body and you on yours. I looked at a banana and saw the same thing. These were living beings who could feel. I thought of them as 'fruit' as a means to separate myself from them so that I could brutalize them without moral consequence within myself. I thought to myself- so then what do I eat? My intuition responded to my intellect immediately. I realized that eating these beings was necessary when it was in the service of ending suffering (hunger). I felt the floor feel the pain of my standing on it. I said to it- "why don't you move if you are in pain?" My intuition immediately responded- "Because I Love you." I was crushed by that response. I walked across the floor as gently as I could. My cat ran down the stairs and walked into the kitchen with me, carefully stepping across the floor as gracefully as it could. My cat rubbed against my leg to greet me and I saw through the delusion that there was a 'self' in my cat at all. All of my ideas of a relationship between my cat, our history, the ideas that my cat loves me, etc. was total delusion. I saw my cat as if it were a total stranger to me. I felt disgusted by it, and I pitied the cat. I saw that it had no spiritual depth. Its life was empty of all spirit, of all depth. It was purely a bodily existence. I do not believe that I ever got over this realization. Once I had seen that in my cat, I could not un-see it. Note- I did not use it as an excuse to neglect my cat, instead I saw it as an opportunity to treat my cat better. Since its existence was purely bodily, I could easily bring it joy and comfort with things like catnip, quality canned wet foods, keeping the litter box clean, water fountain clean, playing more often, etc. So I took up the responsibility to do these things and carried them out until his death a little over a year later. Beyond this point nothing remarkable took place. There were a few things which I walked away with that I didn't get to mention earlier. For starters, in the bathroom I looked in the mirror and smiled at myself. I saw my teeth were rotted and brown. I was shocked by this. A Jamaican woman's voice said to me loud and clear- 'You eat dead things (meat) and you wonder why you're rotting?' I left the bathroom with a strong conviction to become a vegetarian. As the trip came to a close I had a vision of myself sitting on a zazen cushion in a zendo. The vision had great emotional depth. I felt a strong conviction to devote my life to becoming a monastic. Two weeks later I packed all my things and moved to a zen center. I have lived here for 2 years currently. End.

@Breakingthewall No I'm not schizophrenic but LSD is a schizotoxin or atleast that's what they used to be called. Psychologists used to use LSD to have schizophrenic experiences so that they could relate to their clients better. Fascinating stuff but no, definitely not schizophrenic. lol. As far as going deeper is concerned, probably. idk. I'm taking a break from LSD as I find it deludes me quite alot and I have to spend like a year undoing all the delusion caused by these experiences. Ima stick to DMT from here onward, or 5meo If I can get my hands on it.

@AMTO Yes actually, I've thought about this quite a bit over the years. In my opinion, All beings seem to be totally empty of any True person. We are all bodies walking around with nothing in them.

wow this was awesome thanks for sharing!

my guy, if you wanna know what death is you're gonna need alot more than 1.5 gs! Good on ya tho for pacing yourself!

@Leo Gura Yeah, I think you're right. I certainly don't realize myself as God in my day to day consciousness. If I'm honest though, i just want to know what the Truth is. God, no God, I don't really care. I just want to know what the hell is going on and why the hell I can feel it!

@How to be wise I really don't think I can explain the cat thing in a way that would make perfect sense tbh. It was mostly a direct emotional realization, thoughts about it don't really do it justice. If I were to try to put it clearly tho- I would say that I just saw that there was no 'person' inside the cat. It was just a body with nothing in it. We had no history together, my cat appeared to be a wild animal I'd captured and tamed. It had no allegiance to me. Should I open the door, it would leave and never return. Ultimately I attribute this whole section of the trip to delusion, because it no one can really know for certain what the experience of another being is. That includes the oranges. There is something about schizophrenia which makes you gives random things deep meaning and I think that was happening in this particular instance. ps- I hope you don't go around killing cats. to your other question- In the past two years I've done a bunch of meditation and gone on a ton of sesshin (meditation) retreats. I'm still working with my Teacher on koan practice currently. I've had some oneness experiences on meditation retreats, but nah...nothing like LSD. Psychedelics and 'natural' spiritual experiences are two completely different things (atleast according to my own experience). I recall thinking after I had my first spiritual opening that psychedelics were a knock off version of what I had experienced. That was later disproven when I had God realization on an LSD trip a few months later. So i guess that's a long way of say 'no'. I do not reach LSD like states in my meditation, but i am waaaay more open and developed than I was before I moved here.

I only had access to DMT for a short while before I started smoking it casually at low doses. The feeling of being pulled out of my body was terrifying but fascinating and wonderfully addictive to me. It was only when I began putting down my nightly joint and picking up the e-mesh because 'weed just wasn't deep enough' that I started realizing the abuse potential of casual DMT smoking. I had the suspicion that it could lead to hard drugs and so I gave away my stash and I just stick with taking DMT when I see my psychonaut friends.

Hey everyone, I've been practicing Jhanas recently and I've learned how to enter the first one pretty well. I wrote this guide in my commonplace journal and thought I'd share it for anyone interested in entering Jhanas themselves. In this guide, we'll go over the steps you need to take before attempting to enter Jhanas, as well as the actual meditation. What is a Jhana?- A Jhana is a state of complete, perfect equanimity and happiness that comes from training the mind to withdraw from automatic responses to sense impressions….well, something like that atleast. Words don't quite do it justice. Bliss state, peak state, whatever you wanna call it. The best way to see what it is, is to see for yourself. The first thing to remember about Jhana's is that Jhana's are all about happiness. Jhana's begin with happiness, they operate in the domain of happiness, and they leave you happy. You can't enter Jhanas without happiness and because of this, 'striving' for a Jhana won't do. Zen Masters commonly say- when you stop wanting a bliss state, it will arise. This is the case in my experience. There are 9 Jhanas, all with varying levels of depth and profundity but for this we will only be talking about how to enter the first Jhana. Once you are able to enter the first Jhana and gain some experience with it, you will see very clearly how to progress to the others without my input. NOTE- Not everyone is going to be able to enter a Jhana on demand. If you don't have a regular zazen practice I'm not 100% sure how well you'll do here, so don't expect a miracle. But do keep practicing and soon, you'll be able to enter Jhana's no problem! NOTE- this is all based on my own experinece. It might not match up to what you have read in a book somewhere or even to what you might have experienced in your own practice. If this works for you, great! If not, try something else! Step 1- Practice being happy. I know this sounds dumb but hear me out. lol. Happiness is fully surrendering to 'what is'. Surrender is stepping directly into happiness. When you sit down on your cushion, and put your full attention on your practice, you step directly into happiness. This is the first step. Practice being happy. I recommend that you begin sitting zazen atleast 3 hours daily in one hour long time blocks. This will require some experience with sitting meditation as beginner meditators will have a hard time sitting this long without moving. The hour long sitting will allow plenty of time for surrender to take place and for 'the river' to be perceived (I'll explain more on this 'river' later). So Yeah, begin by sitting for 3 hours minimum each day, one full hour at a time. I recommend that you sit on a zafu (cushion) in a cross legged posture with your hands clasped together. This is important that your hands be holding one another and not separate. You can make the cosmic mudra, or any other hand mudra you like but don't be so fancy, you'll have to hold whatever hand posture you choose for an hour straight. If you have a hard time with these cross legged postures for this length of time, you may sit anywhere you like- a chair, a beanbag, whatever. As long as you are able to keep your back straight, chin slightly tucked and focus on your practice without falling asleep, day dreaming or moving around you'll be okay. Begin to practice being happy while you undertake step 2. PS- If you sit down and are overcome with thoughts and emotions, do not fight these thoughts and emotions. Don't try to make thought stop, and don’t strain. Just simply return to your practice again and again very kindly and gently. Don't get caught up in trying to get rid of anything. Surrender! Step 2- Practice abstaining from worldly (dopamine) based pleasures. Sex, Masturbation, sweet and savory foods, internet, TV, etc. Try to abstain from these as much as possible. Don't be a tyrant or anything. Take away the top 3 dopamine related pleasures you have and start with that. Do this for atleast 7 days. The reason abstaining from these ordinary sense pleasures is necessary is because dopamine related pleasures are often centered in and arise from a sense of lack. They begin with lack, fulfill that lack for a while, and return you to lack. It is an endless cycle. Jhana's are all about happiness. They begin with happiness, operate in the domain of happiness, and return you to happiness. Therefore worldly pleasures and the sense of longing and lack that they bring aren't needed for Jhana practice. What place does lack have in happiness? Also, Jhana pleasure is un-worldly pleasure. It is not dependent on the body or the world or anything outside of you. As I mentioned earlier, Jhanas take place IN HAPPINESS ALONE. They are not dependent on the condition of your body, your brain chemistry, the circumstances of your life, or any worldly concerns. Jhana's are openly available to everyone despite your conditioning. This is because Jhanas operate in happiness, which is inherent to everyone. It is common for practitioners to expect dopamine related bliss from Jhanas and because of this they spend a lot of time on the cushion waiting to be hit with an orgasm or something. Lol. Don't do this, it is a waste of time. Un-worldly pleasure doesn't operate on dopamine receptors at all. The type of pleasure that I am talking about here takes place on an entirely different set of circuits. One of the main reasons that we (human beings) are so addicted to worldly pleasure is because we don't even know that other forms of pleasure exist. I assure you that Jhanas operate on an entirely different set of circuts in the brain and until you experience it for yourself, you should just take my word on it. When you know it for yourself, you'll see very clearly what I mean. Step 3- Attempting Jhana So you've gone 7 days abstaining from your pet pleasures and sitting for 3 hours each day. By this time you are probably already in a state of deep happiness and don’t even need the Jhana. All of that lack from your sense pleasures is discarded and now we can focus on the meditation without having to fight our craving. From this point forward, discard your clocks and timers when sitting. Keeping time is not needed for this part of the practice so you can let go of all clocks and timers. When you sit meditation, you will sit happily and focus your attention on whatever your practice is. When you feel like getting up and ending the round, simply get up and end the round. Don't worry about how long you've gone on for. Focus on being happy while you sit. Being fully satisfied. Whether you're doing breath practice, koan practice, shikantaza, whatever it is. Begin focusing on your practice and do so happily. Peripheral awareness and spotlight awareness. This next step might sound advanced when written out but its actually not I promise, just follow me here. After a while you'll start to feel good in your body. Your mind might start wandering over to the good feelings and off of your practice. This isn't necessary though. All you have to do from here is put your attention back on your practice and allow your peripheral awareness to open up to the good feelings. For example, if I am practicing watching my breathing, I will keep my breathing in my focused awareness, and I'll also be aware that I'm feeling really peaceful and happy with my peripheral awareness. So in short, keep happiness and all your good feelings in your awareness while holding your practice simultaneously. This is not difficult to do and does not require the mind to do. Do not engage your intellect to try to figure out how to do this, you are doing it already just become aware of it. If you want a practical example of how you're doing it as you read this- focus your attention on your breathing right now and also feel your foot on the floor simultaneously. You see? Easy peezy. The spotlight awareness is on your breathing and your peripheral awareness on your foot. No mind needed. Your mind may try to enhance the good feelings in your body. Don't spend too much time enhancing anything though, it will do it on its own. The river begins to flow. After a while of practicing, while feeling the good feelings in your body, you will begin to feel a river flowing in your hands or in your feet. Its different for everyone so feel around for it. It shouldn't be hard to miss though. It will feel like, what TV static looks like. If you have ever taken LSD you will be familiar with this static river that is flowing through you. This river will typically flows through your hands. As you are doing your breath practice, become aware of this flowing feeling in your hands. Your hands might feel like they are inside of boxing gloves, or that they are bigger than they normally feel. This is good. Don't try to enhance this or anything just be aware of it for now. Makyo Begins- As you go deeper into your practice and concentration Makyo will begin to appear Makyo is hallucinations of various sorts which appear when the mind gets quiet. You may see the room in from of you start to black out, various colors float by, you may see the room melt, buddhas coming out of the floor, or whatever. Don’t worry about these and don't focus in on them. Bring your attention back to your practice The river roars- Eventually, the river in your hands will come to a point where it is steady and fluid. It isn't a small flow but not a big one either. You will be able to clearly distinguish the flow in your hands or feet and you'll easily be able to put your attention on it. Now that it is stable and steady, stop putting your attention on your practice and put all of your attention on the flowing river in you. So to clarify the whole thing- lets make a timeline of a sitting period while practicing Jhanas- You sit down and begin focusing on your breath practice or whatever practice you're used to. Each time your mind wanders, bring it back kindly and gently as normal. You'll begin to feel content and peaceful after a while (usually 30-40 minutes for me). Be aware of this but don't make it your primary focus, let it be secondary for the time being. You'll begin to feel some vibrating in your hands or feet or somewhere in your body, like a river is running through you. Become aware of this but don't make it your primary focus just yet. Keep it secondary. After a while the river in your hands (or wherever it is) will become steady and obvious. Once you notice this, put your whole attention on the flow. If the flow disappears or stops when you pay attention to it, this means that it wasn't strong enough to handle your full attention just yet. Go back to your practice and wait for it to recover, or simply try again the next sitting round. If the flow continues as normal or gets bigger when you pay full attention to it, this is a good sign that you can go to the next step. simply make the river the primary object of your meditation and the rest will happen on its own. There you go, enjoy your bliss! Some other cool facts and tips about Jhanas. -Since Jhanas begin with happiness, operate in the domain of happiness, and end with happiness- you may have as much of this pleasure as you can take without any negative consequence. -Since Jhanas do not operate in the body nor are they limited to the body, Jhanas may end in a single moment. If you are sitting and you enter a jhana, and the bell rings for you to get up and do walking meditation, you will be able to simply get up and do walking meditation. You will not be slowed down by your bliss. This is different from worldly pleasures such as drugs and psychedelics where you would be bogged down and slowed down by the bliss. Should someone need your help in a dire situation you would have to fight your bliss to help them. With Jhanas this is not the same. You may end the experinece completely in a single moment and simply enter it again later if you'd like to. This way we can live normal worldly lives, and be of use to our communities and experience unworldly bliss in our free time. -Sometimes you may enter the Bardo when attempting to Jhana. The Bardo is the place the soul goes when the body falls away. Sort of like an in-between place. Entering this place can be especially confusing, frightening or incredibly blissful. Don't worry about entering the Bardo should you enter it on accident, plenty of practitioners do this by accident on retreat. If you feel disconnected from your body and get frightened, simply return to the present moment. -Out of body experiences sometimes happen. -Don't try to 'hold' onto a Jhana. If you come to a place where the bliss begins to end, don't try to cling to a jhana or walk around with it in your daily life. Allow it to come and go freely. When it is here, great! When it goes, let it go.