Late Boomer

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Posts posted by Late Boomer


  1. 31 minutes ago, James12345 said:

    What is solipsism? Just a thought not even. Something you have learned, by so called humans.

    It was a thought I had when I was a kid, that I had no way of knowing the people in my life weren't imaginary. 

    31 minutes ago, James12345 said:

    When you sleep is there any world independently of you? Is there any you? 

    Last night I dreamed I was someone who was not me. Sometimes I can switch characters within a dream. 

    31 minutes ago, James12345 said:

    This all stories are still learned from others, if you never learn anything including yourself, what would happen? 

    I don't know. I would be a blank slate? Is it possible not to learn anything? 

    31 minutes ago, James12345 said:

    There is no me nor you.

    Now I think you're talking non-duality. I can consider it, but I can't really grasp it. That I can't really capture the meaning of an object or concept with words give me an inkling, but it still doesn't feel true to me. 

    31 minutes ago, James12345 said:

    So forget everything you have learned, what is left?

    Experience? Observation?


  2. @James12345 Are you talking about solipsism? That is a mindset I have experienced before and can again if I contemplate it hard enough. I still can't get over the idea that we all stand on the same ground, that there's a world that exists independently of me, but I agree there's no way to prove I'm not coming up with that as well. There's ultimately no way to really connect perception and reality.

    As far as learning myself, I was told about how I was born, about illnesses I had as an infant that I don't remember, but from my point of view, I came into existence when a mousetrap snapped on my finger when I was 2. What came before that I have to take my parents' word. What came after that I might have dreamed or imagined, I can't prove that I didn't. I can find some evidence, like school notes and old photos. I suppose this could all be a dream. Is it your position that this is someone else's dream?


  3. What does mean mean?

    I am journaling to contemplate different subjects as suggested by Leo's video "How to contemplate using a journal"

    I decided to contemplate on the word "mean" (as in what does x mean?). 

    What does mean mean? Meaning and truth appear to be related, but not the same. 

    Mean is a symbol that means "accurately represent a concept or an object."

    Can any symbol be accurate or true? Arguably no. A symbol is by definition not the thing it symbolizes. "The map is not the territory."

    Meaning = definition. To define something, you explain what that that something represents. 

    Because a word is a symbol, the only definition you can get is another symbol or set of symbols. 

    "What is the meaning of life?" is like asking "What is the meaning of 'life'?" Life is a symbol for something you know because you experience it, but you can't really say what it is. If you try to say, you have to use symbols, which are not the thing itself. 

    Because language is dualistic and reality is non-dualistic (conditionally for me - still trying to grasp this), "what does x mean?" is a question that can't be answered with words. 

    "Hola" is a Spanish word that means "hello" in English but what does that word mean? A greeting. But what does a greeting mean? All you can do is produce more synonyms or symbols. 

    What about "aloha"? that means both hello and goodbye in Hawaiian. 

    Does a wave or a nod answer the question? What if other cultures use different gestures? What if your culture uses a gesture that means "fuck you" in your culture? You have to somehow know their intention, which is internal. 

    So meaning is a meaningless oxymoron isn't it? You can't convey truth or reality with words, you can only symbolize it. 

    Interestingly, I decided to begin reading [[Tao Te Ching]] today and the first words were "The Tao that can be told is not the true Tao."

    This is my train of thought. Am I on the right track? Can we take it further? 


  4. On 8/18/2021 at 4:04 PM, Hello from Russia said:

    I found this new version of one note to be really shitty

    Check out obsidian

    Could you tell me a little bit about what you're putting in your commonplace book and how? Are you putting in longform content, etc.? So far I'm just going through tutorials and I've written up some longish trip reports. At this point I can see where it could turn into a disorganized mess if I'm not careful. (My longterm goal is to put anecdotes, insights and other material together and see if I can fictionalize them and create short stories and maybe a novel.)


  5. I have subscription-based Microsoft, which includes OneNote. This version uses the MS cloud. Does anybody else use this? I've messed with it enough to determine that it could help me organize my thoughts, but I've seen Leo recommend installing an older version that saves to the computer. I can't decide which way to go. Not a big fan of the cloud in general due to potential privacy issues - the next US administration might not be kind to people like us and no guarantee the service will remain accessible in the future - but I have already been using Google Drive to store documents because it's convenient to use on my phone. 

    Cloud-based has advantages. For one thing I spilled a drink on my previous laptop and lost everything and I'd still have my stuff if it had been in the cloud. Is it worth waiting to get the installed version or is there another program folks would recommend? I'm itching to get started. Should I just do so? I don't want to have to do it over again. Also can the cloud-based OneNote be made to store locally? Supposedly it can be used offline and will upload to the cloud later. 


  6. On 8/12/2021 at 10:28 AM, Terell Kirby said:

    @Late Boomer never to late to chart a new path. I guess would focus on at one thing (at max two) in life that you would like to see actualized by the time your soul moves on. Younger folks can focus on many creative ventures, but the list gets smaller as you get older. Even still, we all have vision of what could be…even in later years.

    Good advice. I've been interested in way too many things in life. Thought I was going to be a visual artist, realized I was mediocre then got an English degree, really into reading and music and culture (other people's), but I feel like it's time to quit consuming and _produce_ something. I think what I want to do most is write at least one very good book, getting it published optional. I just want to feel like I made art. I've had some life experiences that make good bar stories. I had an interesting life as a small town reporter and editor.

    I also had some traumatic events, especially one in particular, that changed my life and possibly should be written about in some manner -- but those would be dangerous stories. My problem is fear. These are real stories about real people and I would be very easy to doxx. I'm old and really what is there to ruin at this point? But I can't afford a lawyer and I don't want to dredge up things up that could hurt other people. If I could figure out how to fictionalize them maybe... But the only writing I've done is journalism. That and writing on social media. 

    Maybe start with a blog and go from there? I did start a blog and a YouTube channel. But the blog was apocalypse themed and I've decided that's the wrong tack. And the YouTube channel was from a me that isn't me anymore. I feel like if I could just find the right angle, I would be off and running.


  7. Thanks for all the nice comments. I would have responded quicker, but my blood pressure has been kicking my ass. Speaking of which, does anyone who has experience with psychedelics have issues with high blood pressure.

    I've had it since I was in my 20s, but it's been managed. Since my last trip, I've had to change meds three times and gone to the ER twice. I really have to stay away from the hospital right now for obvious reasons. 

    I read that mushrooms would give you a rise in blood pressure during a trip, but nothing about any long term change. My current theory is that it has to do with weed. I was smoking and eating edibles for 10 years. Started late in life (except for one bad experience with edibles in college). After decades of Just Say No, I fell in love with weed. I loved what it did for my imagination and it was a great marital aid. But I went way too hard with it during the quarantine and the stress associated with my job's descent into right wing madness.

    After a few mushroom trips I found my appetite for it mostly went away. Now I don't like it any more. Two hits and my heart is racing, even high indica stuff. My latest blood pressure problem started after I took an edible a couple of weeks after the 3.5g trip. 

    I've also noticed that thinking and writing seems to raise my blood pressure a lot. I wonder if the shrooms rewired my brain so that I can't handle weed and so that my thinking brain sets off my blood pressure too much. I love to write and read and think about interesting things, so this is a big problem for me right now. It's like a log jam. 

    I have seen a lot of psychonaut types on reddit say they had panic attacks and bad trips trying to mix shrooms and weed so maybe I messed myself up? I think I can help myself a lot if I can get a regular meditation practice going (I've had a few good streaks but I keep falling off the wagon) and get some decent exercise, but both of those are where the sciatica comes in. Sitting for too long hurts and the sciatica is so bad I can't walk for long distances. I have a couple of doctor appointments next week to deal with BP and sciatica, so hopefully I can get some forward motion in my life.


  8. My user name says it all. I was born in '65, the last year for Baby Boomers. And I'm late to the party as usual. 

    I've heard Leo say understanding a lot of these concepts could take years or decades, but I don't think I have decades. I’m 56 with health problems. I have changed a lot over the years, so maybe it counts.

    Had a major life change (quit a good state job due to fallout from Jan. 6. Escaped with conscience intact, but now what? Still unemployed in a pandemic and recession. Luckily my wife is holding us down, but I need a purpose or at least a job. 

    Took mushrooms to help with depression. They helped and even spurred a lot of creativity. I was starting a blog and a YouTube channel. But I was on the wrong track with both. The last trip blew me out of the water. It was stronger than the others and really beautiful. But now I'm kind of adrift. It actually left me LESS motivated than the previous ones. I thought, I really don't know anything after all, do I? 

    I have to take some things seriously that I used to scoff at. I was an atheist who used to be a Baptist. I thought I had that one nailed down, but now I'm not sure. Maybe it was all in my head, but I could swear I communicated with something that loved me. If it was God it wasn’t Yahweh, but it didn’t feel like I was talking to myself. I interpreted it as the earth. But I'm not sure. 

    One thing I am sure of now is that the ego is not me. I was able to let it sleep and give in and it was a blessing. I had a lot of insights. A lot of it was about processing grief. For myself -- not afraid of death now -- for mankind and for nature.

    I decided I need to know more about what is true. I figured a path would turn up, but so far it hasn't. I've talked to some psychonauts and new agers. Not sure how much to accept. Some of their claims are hard to swallow. I'm willing to entertain a lot of new ideas, but I have to keep some skepticism. I don't trust people that easily any more - least of all me. 

    Discovered Leo's videos at just the right moment. The one about how reality is a mass hallucination hooked me. I'm also fascinated by spiral dynamics. I've watched quite a bit of his content and a lot of it has been eye opening. There was a time when I would have dismissed it out of hand. There are some concepts, like absolute truth, being God, nonduality, etc., that I don't know if I can buy, but maybe I just don't get it. Benefit of the doubt. 

    I'm a creative person, but I never really found my niche - or rather I thought I did, but it's now all but extinct. I was a reporter and editor for small town newspapers for 20 years. I thought it was my purpose in life. I loved it until I didn't. I was lucky to escape without becoming homeless. 

    Did I waste my life or is there something I’m still supposed to do that only I can do? I want to move forward and find some kind of outlet, but I feel stuck. I was inspired after the big shroom trip. We were in that little window before Delta showed up. I did a few meetups, tried to make some friends, get a circle going, but it kind of fizzled and now here I am again, stuck inside and dealing with health issues. Sciatica and high blood pressure being the main ones. I'd love to trip again and see if I can get some guidance that way, but till I get the BP under control that's out. 

    Not sure where I’m going with this, just figured this is a group of people I can talk to about things everyone else thinks are crazy. Maybe y'all can help me figure myself out.